15 years later…

Calleigh forced back the tears in her eyes. She would not allow herself cry today.

She had to be strong for her babies, for them and for herself, she knew that once the first tiny tear made it's way down her cheek, the rest were going to come out in an explosion that all the cement in the world couldn't block up.

She watched as they carried his coffin into the church and held onto her last resemblance of self-control. She wanted to get up there, to rip the coffin over and pull Eric from it, make the whole world realise that he was still alive, that he hadn't left her, that he was still here…

Danny 'Tigger' Delko saw his mother struggling to keep a hold of herself and reached out to pull her into a hug. At just 15 he was already taller than his mother, something he'd always secretly loved, but today wished wasn't so, because he felt the need to be cradled, like back when he was young and fallen over and hurt his knee. Of course, the pain that he was feeling now, was worse than any scraped knee he'd ever experienced as a child.

His father was dead. He was 'man of the house'. But he was just a boy

...

Calleigh and Eric's youngest child Iona was 8 years old. She'd practically had to beg her mother to let her come to the funeral. Calleigh hadn't wanted her to experience the feeling of having to say such a permanent goodbye at such a young age, but had soon realised that she was trying to protect herself a little more than she was trying to protect Iona.

The small-for-her-age 8-year-old sang the hymn with everything she had in her. Eric had so often called her 'his little hummingbird' due to both her size, and her ability to hit any note on the scale with ease. He'd nearly burst with pride when the priest at their local church informed him that they wanted Iona to be head girl for the children's choir.

Isla and David were the couple's 12-year-old twins. If it hadn't been for the fact that they were the opposite sex, then Calleigh and Eric would have had a hell of a task trying to tell the difference between them as babies. Isla had her father's personality, and David had his mother's.

David also had bad eczema and asthma, something which Calleigh and Eric were scared shitless of when they first bought him home with them after the hospital. Every night they would battle against his skin, slathering soothing creams and herbal remedies over the cracking and blistering surface just to bring their baby some small resemblance of comfort. As he'd gotten older, it'd gotten better; it only flared up in the summer (because of his strong allergy to pollen – which was surprisingly manageable) and in the winter (because of the school's policy that everybody had to wear a pullover during the winter months, something Eric and Calleigh had battled against furiously.) His asthma was easier to control however, as the boy only really did bodybuilding and swimming for sport, he rarely ever over-exerted himself because he knew the dangers. Calleigh often called him 'her little survivor' and he was. He'd been through so much in his little life and still found the time to help his parents with chores and helped Iona with her homework when she struggled.

Isla was Calleigh's 'Little Willow', her long golden hair reached halfway down her spine and she wore floaty bohemian style clothing all the time. Isla was a big fan of Alternative Rock and Indie Music, and she was part of a professional dancing group that consisted of children between the ages of 7-19 taking part in dancing competitions all around the country. From an early age, she'd been fascinated with her parent's career choice; she'd once (when she was 5 years old) snuck into their CSI cupboard at home and taking the fingerprint dust and scattering it all around her bedroom to 'summon the faeries mommy!' Eric had truly loved his first-born daughter and she'd had him wrapped right round her pinkie finger.

And last, but not least: Danny. Straight A report card, killer smile and a smile the size of Russia, he held anybody's and everybody's heart from the moment he was born. From the age of about 7 years old he'd been dating (much to his parent's amusement) a pretty girl from England named Gracie. He was nothing if not honest, and he'd never so much as even thought about lying to his parents. He was hardly ever called Tigger now, but whenever he was, he'd secretly love it as it was the first name he'd ever been called other than 'Baby Boy Delko'.

Yes, Calleigh was equally proud of all her children. They were all strong and resilient, forces to be reckoned with. Back the family home there were plenty of photo albums scattered across the bookshelves, filled to the brim with pictures of the Delko clan, a sight Calleigh never thought she'd have been so lucky to see, so afraid of falling in love with Eric she'd been only 17 years ago.

After the funeral was over and the after 'party' (Eric had wanted a gathering of people to 'Celebrate' his life, not to mourn his death and depress his children, they didn't need that.) They'd all helped Calleigh clear up the lounge, and now the whole family gathered in the small-ish dining room that now seemed a lot bigger and started to recount their favourite memories with Eric,

"Can I go first Mami?" Iona asked. Calleigh smiled and nodded at her youngest child's enthusiasm. "Okay, well mine is the time we all went round Abuela's for Thanksgiving 2 years ago." The older children nodded and smiled, each remembering exactly what happened. "Mami, you hadn't arrived yet." Calleigh remembered that, Horatio had apologetically called her in to analyse some bullets, a task that hadn't really bothered her, she never got to be in the ballistics anymore.. "Anyway," Iona continued, "Papa was laying the table with Uncle Pablo and Auntie Vanessa when we all heard this almighty boom!" she reiterated this with a flick of her tiny hands, "we all ran outside and Papa started to shout really crazy things and lots of swear words," The other three children again laughed silently at this, "and it turned out that Terror had dragged the turkey outside and was trying to sneak it into the coal shed, not realising that there was a giant barbeque perched on the tabletop." She recounted most of this for Calleigh's benefit, as she had not been there. "The reason being, that this is one of my favourite memories of papa was that he'd spent ages making himself look presentable, gotten his good suit dry-cleaned, his hair was all in place, and by the time that evening finished, he was like regular old Papa again." Iona finished, there was a hint of sadness in her tone and Calleigh pulled her in close for a hug. Calleigh often forgot that Iona was only 8 years old, due to the fact that the child was very mature inside; she'd had to be.

The room was nearly crackling with tension and sadness as Calleigh rubbed soothing circles on Iona's back, the young girl was finally letting her grieving happen within the privacy of her own home. Isla, deciding to lighten the mood, started with her favourite memory with her father:

"My favourite memory is my first Dance Recital, I was 5 years old and I was the mouse in Swan Lake," she said, smiling. "I thought I was the star of the show, and Papa certainly didn't disagree, do you remember how much money he spent buying me the perfect little mouse costume and my sparkly green Tutu Mami?" She asked, only to be rewarded with a jokingly wry smile from Calleigh, Eric had kept the bill of the dress a secret for about a year before Calleigh got a hold of that receipt, Isla continued after a pause, "I remember, when I was on that stage, I forgot my dancing steps and I was nearly in tears because all the other little mouse girls were doing it perfectly. Papa stood up, right in the middle of the audience," she stopped to laugh, "Mami you were begging him to just sit down, and he was instructing me, saying 'Left foot forward…' and so on… after a couple of steps I remembered the whole thing and he sat down, but it will always be my favourite memory of him." Isla finished, smiling.

Calleigh looked around the room, she looked at the faced of each of her babies (no matter what anybody said, and no matter how many people disapproved, they would always be her babies.) and smiled slightly, Danny as looking exactly like his father, leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed and a determined look on his face. David sat on the seat next to his twin and had his arm wrapped around her shoulders, hugging her as she silently sobbed, the look on his face matching Danny's exactly.

"Mine," Danny said gruffly, "Was the day he told us he had cancer." Everybody stiffened as he

said that, what was that supposed to mean? "He told us each individually, if you remember," how could they forget.. " he told Mom first, then Iona, then Isla, then David, then me. I don't know exactly what it was lie for you guys, but I looked in his eye the entire time. There was something there. Something I'd never seen in his eyes before…it was defiance. And I don't mean the type of defiance that a 4-year-old gets when they're asked if they ate the last cookie in the jar, I mean the type of defiance that he knew he;d beat it." Danny paused to look up at his family and quietly added, "Guess I'd never realised just quite how strong Dad was until that day.."

Calleigh felt the tears coming and this time there as nothing she could do to stop them. She hated herself in that moment, she hated herself for crying in front of her children when she knew that they were only just breaking down themselves. Danny however, saw that is mother was trying to hold it all in and drew her into a hug. Calleigh was both surprised and grateful for this, Danny was a carbon copy of his father in every single way, right down from his looks and personality, to his kindness and love of all things to do with water. She thanked her lucky stars for the millionth time that day that their children had been prepared for this, and that Eric's death hadn't just been sprung upon them in an instant, deep inside, she knew that she wouldn't have been able to cope with that.

All of a sudden, David left the room, Isla got up to follow him, but Calleigh put a and on her arm and told her to 'let him grieve in his own way.' 5 minutes later, David came beck with a baseball bat in his hands.

"Sorry about that," he said, somewhat regretfully. "I had to find this to be able to explain mine properly. Isla, do you remember our 8th birthday?" Isla nodded, "Well, you got to go shopping with mom for the day as your treat, and I got to go see the baseball match with dad. While we were there it started storming, we got absolutely soaked." He paused, laughing, "and dad just took off his coat and gave it to me so I wouldn't get all wet. There he was in his short-sleeved tee, cheering on our team, and eating the last of the popcorn, while I was there, trying to rival him by screaming loudly too. At the end of the match we were wet and muddy. Mom nearly fainted when we got inside, treading mud all over the place." Calleigh gave him that 'look', David then turned his head around to look her directly in the eye, "Then he just spun you around and kissed you. You took one look at him and just dissolved in laughter. It's my favourite memory of dad because it was one of those times that you never could have planned. We just went with it." He finished with a sigh.

Calleigh smiled fondly at the memory, Eric always had been the only one who was able to calm her down, no matter what the circumstances were. She didn't know how she was going to cope without him in her life. But looking around the room for the 19th time that minute, she knew that she was going to have to find a way; if not for herself then for her babies.

~One Day~

In one day you can say goodbye to a loved one.

It's funny how even the most happy of memories can turn bittersweet in the space of 24 hours, how the carefully placed masks can fall down when strangers aren't there to observe your every move. It's funny how that, in the space of a day; you can go from being a normal, sane person, into a complete monster.

Funny, isn't it?