Amy was quiet. Too quiet, even for her, and Shane knew something was up. When the bell rang ten minutes later, he found Amy in the hallway, in the same position she had been in for what felt like hours.
"Hey, you okay? You went all 'Rachel Berry running out of the Glee room' in there." He crouched down next to her and pulled his knees to his chest while he waited for her response.
She just stared ahead while shrugging her shoulders. She couldn't honestly believe this was happening. It was almost laughable. So much so that she let out a guffaw from the sheer madness of it all.
Shane's face scrunched up in confusion for the second time this morning. "Amy, seriously, you're being weird." Amy climbed to her feet and reached down for Shane's hand to pull him up with her.
"I'm fine!" Her voice had a singsong like quality to it. "It's beautiful outside, let's go outside."
Dragging Shane along behind her, Amy weaved in and out of the crowded hallway to the doors that promised her freedom. At least for a second so she could fucking think about what she needed to think about. Get it together, Raudenfeld. You're not pregnant. You had a period. You are not pregnant.
"Aimes." Shane's voice made Amy stop in her tracks. She had successfully pulled them outside and had continued walking, walking so far that they were in the middle of the quad, just standing awkwardly like idiots. Amy turned on her heel to face Shane.
"I threw up back there." Her voice was frantic. Shane tweaked an eyebrow.
"Yeah, I know, I watched you leave Rosling's." He wasn't sure why she was acting all weird. "What's with the shifty eyes and the clammy palms?" He let go of her hand and wiped his own furiously on his patterned skinny pants.
"I slept with Liam."
"Usually this type of confession would surprise me but I already knew that, Amy." Shane wasn't getting it and Amy really didn't want to spell it out for him.
"It's May 5th." Amy began, but was interrupted by Shane.
"Happy Cinco de Drinko!" He snickered at his own joke but stopped when he could genuinely feel the sting from the glare Amy was shooting in his direction.
"You idiot. No. It's May 5th. The last period I had," she was cut off again when Shane stuck his fingers in his ears and began singing "La, la, la," to avoid talking about her menstrual patterns.
"Shane, will you just fucking listen to me!" She exclaimed, grabbing Shane's arms and shocking him sober.
"Okay, I get it, this is serious." Amy closed her eyes briefly and breathed in deep, feeling nauseous all over again.
"It's May 5th. The last period I actually had was February 27th. I skipped March, but that happens right?" Shane gave her a look that said, just because I'm gay doesn't mean I know these things and she sighed, obviously frustrated.
"Okay. So. What I'm getting at is that I haven't had a real period since February. I slept with Liam in March. March 8th. Mom and Bruce's wedding. And then April…" Her thought trailed off. "It's May 5th and I haven't gotten my period."
Shane realized what she was saying at this moment. His eyes widened and Amy nodded frantically. It was all too much too soon. This morning she was cuddled up with her girlfriend. A female. Incapable of impregnating her. And now she might be pregnant? No. No. She's just overreacting.
"Maybe I'm just stressing. Maybe that's why I felt sick and that's why my period is late. We do have that final in Rosling's. Maybe I'm just freaking out about that." Her words were rushed and her breathing became labored as she felt the tears well in her eyes.
"No, stop," Shane wrapped her in his arms and tried to calm the bawling blonde. "Shh, Amy, it's gonna be fine."
She extracted herself from the makeshift cradle he had cocooned her in. "How do you know, how can you be sure that it's going to be fine? First I faked being a lesbian with Karma. And then I actually was a lesbian with Karma. Then she wasn't anymore and I slept with Liam because I was drunk and hurt and in love with my best friend who isn't talking to me anymore and now I'm dating a girl I really, really like and there weren't supposed to be anymore secrets and Reagan…" she trailed off, new tears streaming down her face. "Oh God, Rea…" She leaned against Shane and sobbed silently into his shoulder.
In truth, he didn't understand what she was going through, and honestly, never would, but dammit, Amy was his friend. Even more so than Liam as of late, and he was going to help her through this. He rubbed her back in an effort to soothe Amy, letting her cry it out.
"What about Karma?" Amy's voice broke on her best friend's name. She was still Amy's best friend, even if Amy wasn't hers. They had ten years of history! That couldn't be thrown away over something as stupid as sleeping with Liam Booker.
Becoming pregnant by Liam Booker, however, was another story entirely.
"Oh my God, if I'm pregnant, Karma will be my kid's step mom." Amy cried and laughed at the same time, but crying inevitably won over and the sobbing continued. Shane was impressed that Amy even had that much left.
As if on cue, Amy's tears stopped, but her breathing was still labored. She sighed and looked Shane in the eyes. "What if I really am…pregnant?" The silence enveloped them like an old friend.
Shane pursed his lips and shrugged. "Amy, if you're pregnant, then you're pregnant. But you know you have a choice if you are…" He trailed off and Amy immediately picked up on his signals.
"No. I couldn't do that, I won't do that." Amy shook her head furiously. Never in a million years. If she was in fact pregnant, she would figure out how to make everything work.
The end of the day couldn't come soon enough. Amy and Lauren sat on the bench in silence while they waited for Reagan's pickup truck.
Rea: I'm finishing up at Liam's and then I'll be there to getcha guys. I love you mi amore xo
"She'll be here shortly." Amy's voice broke the tension. Lauren couldn't remember the last time it was so tense between them. Something was up with her sister, and just because she had turned over a new leaf for the fellow blonde, didn't mean she wasn't still a prying person at heart.
"You're really quiet. Is something up?" Lauren scooted closer to Amy and looked in the direction her sister was. Amy just shrugged, looked towards Lauren with a bleak expression, and then stared back longingly at the road.
"Nothing. Everything is fine…" Amy's voice trailed off. Lauren definitely knew something was up then. Squinting her eyes, she decided she would try again later, no use in being shut down a second time. And plus, she didn't want to push. Since when do I not push? She thought. Ugh, there's something seriously wrong with me!
Within ten minutes, the two girls could hear the roar of Reagan's engine coming through the parking lot.
"Hey pretty ladies, wanna go for a ride?" Reagan smiled and laughed a bit before realizing neither Lauren nor her girlfriend were really in the mood. She coughed awkwardly as the pair put their seatbelts on.
"You okay, babe?" She murmured to Amy. Amy in turn just nodded with a small smile and a quick kiss to Reagan's cheek. Reagan wasn't going to ask again, not until later, but she knew Amy. Amy was hers, her love, her girlfriend. She knew Amy had a peanut allergy, she knew Amy's favorite color had been blue until she was eight and then it changed to purple. Reagan knew the story behind Amy's dad leaving, she knew about the countless birthday candles Amy had wished on for him to come back. Reagan knew it all.
She knew Amy. There was something bothering her but she would figure it out, Amy would tell her.
The ride home was quiet. Lauren said thank you again, like she always did when Reagan would drive her around. Reagan told her countless times that the thanks wasn't needed, but Lauren continued to say it. She was just nice.
"Oh, Reagan, so good to see you!" Farrah's shrill voice filled the teenage girl's ears upon entering the house. "I knew I heard that ole' truck outside." She laughed at her own jibe and crossed the living room for a quick hug from the brunette.
"Hello Mrs. Cooper," Reagan smiled and pulled away as Farrah retorted.
"You know I said to call me Farrah. The next time you call me Mrs. Cooper, there will be no dessert for you! And I know how much you like my peach pie." Reagan feigned innocence and laughed along with Amy's mom until Amy interjected.
"You know, we have prom planning to do." Amy caught everyone off guard with that one.
"I thought you said you weren't going to prom!" Farrah exclaimed, suddenly very excited. She had been totally crushed when she found out only one of her daughters would be attending the junior prom. She went on and on for days about how important it is for a young woman to embrace her prom. After all, she had said, you only get one junior prom. Amy had promptly reminded her that there would be a prom next year, and that maybe she would go to that one.
"Well, I guess we're going to prom," Reagan replied coolly, knowing full well that she and Amy wouldn't be at prom, but she figured it was just an escape ploy to get them upstairs so she could finally tell Reagan what was wrong.
"Oh, my stars…" Farrah was in her own little world as Amy and Reagan went up the stairs and straight to her bedroom. Reagan sat on the edge of her girlfriend's bed and prepared herself for the worst.
Amy hadn't yet turned away from the door. She was preparing herself for the worst, too. She didn't know what Reagan would say. Would she break up with her? She was 19, she didn't have time to become a mom.
A mom. That's what Amy might be. Might be…I'd know if I would just take the fucking test. She mentally scolded herself. Shane had been sweet enough to sneak off campus and buy two pregnancy tests and then sneak back on campus and swiftly give them to her in the break between History and French. He wanted her to take them then, but she refused. I will not find out I'm pregnant in a school bathroom. This isn't the fucking Lifetime movie channel.
This was real life. This was her life. And Reagan's life. And maybe a baby's life. It was all very confusing.
"Shrimps…" Reagan's voice echoed in the room. Amy turned slowly and sat down next to Reagan. Opening her mouth and closing it again, the tears welled up in her eyes. She sniffled and let herself be wrapped in her girlfriend's embrace.
"Hey, what's wrong, huh? Did something happen at school?" Amy could only scoff. "Is it Karma? Is it Liam?" A sob broke free on his name.
Reagan stroked Amy's hair and waited until she was finished crying. The tears stopped shortly, Amy didn't have a lot left in her.
"I have to tell you something." Amy's voice shook as she took Reagan's hand in hers. Reagan's frown deepened and her brows knit together while she waited. Was Amy about to break up with her? No, that wouldn't happen. They were fine, just this morning. Everything had been fine. But still, Reagan couldn't help but let her thoughts trail down that road…
"I think I'm pregnant."
The world had stopped. Amy was positive about that. The world had just stopped moving, everything was still, and she was dead. Or at least, she wanted to be. Not really, not dead. Just…not alive. Not here.
She stared at Reagan for what felt like an eternity. Surprising Amy, Reagan never broke eye contact. She also managed to maintain steady breathing, something Amy couldn't quite get the hang of today.
"You think you're pregnant." Reagan repeated. Amy nodded swiftly. "And why do you think that?" Reagan's tone wasn't one of anger, sadness, or disbelief. It was calm. It was what Amy needed but never expected.
Amy rambled off the details of her missing period and the nausea and the tears all while Reagan stared. She just watched Amy's mouth move and form the sentences she never in a million years thought she'd be hearing. As a teenaged lesbian, you don't usually hear from your girlfriend that she thinks she's pregnant. Not unless she's been cheating on you, and Amy hasn't been. This whole situation was completely different, one for the story books. A tale someone would write about one day.
"Rea." Amy's voice cut through Reagan's thoughts like a sharp knife. "Are you…are you still listening?"
Reagan nodded and swallowed hard. "Do you need to buy a test?"
Amy sighed. "No, Shane bought me two." Reagan's eyebrow shot up. Amy continued, "He saw me…well, he just…he noticed something was up and I just lost it. I totally lost it and told him. I didn't want to text you this. What was I supposed to say? 'I love you and by the way, I think I'm having Liam's kid xoxo'?" Amy's eyes welled up with tears again.
"No, babe, no, I'm not mad. Shh…" Reagan tried to console her blubbering girlfriend with small circles on her back and soft kisses pressed to her temple.
"So, you have the test." Reagan pressed forward. If they were going to find out, they had to do it now. No use in wasting time or putting off the inevitable. She could feel Amy nod against her chest. Her girlfriend was scared, and Reagan would be lying if she said she wasn't right there with her.
They had eventually laid back against the plush comforter, Reagan spooning behind Amy. Amy was quiet, but not quiet enough to be asleep. She was thinking. Reagan knew the trouble that could come from Amy thinking too much, so she spoke softly against the blonde's neck.
"It's been an hour. Do you want to take it now?" Amy's shoulders sagged with the sigh her lungs produced.
"There's no time like the present." Amy sat up slowly, took a deep breath, and walked towards the bathroom, Walgreens bag in hand. Before exiting her bedroom, she looked one last time at Reagan.
"When I come back, I'll be a changed woman." She smiled weakly, attempting to lighten the mood. The air was so thick in the room, she didn't like the way it made her feel. But she knew, if she was indeed pregnant, her life would change forever.
This is it. Amy stood in front of the mirror and took in her reflection. Seventeen years. Seventeen years and this is what my life turned into.
Reading the instructions with shaking hands, Amy followed what the tiny folded paper said to do. Pee on the stick, wait, instant results. Sounds…fine. Amy stood up, flushed the toilet, and washed her hands four times before she willed herself to check.
I can't do it. Maybe Reagan will for me. Amy rolled her eyes at herself. No, you moron. You slept with Liam. You have to look at the damn pregnancy test.
Flipping the plastic stick over in her hands, Amy stared back at what her future held. She wanted to let out a cry, but she couldn't find her voice. She wanted to at least breathe, but she wasn't sure that was even possible, either.
She wasn't sure how to feel. And she wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not.