I do not own The Outsiders. S.E. Hinton does :)
"Cancer…you have c-cancer?" Sodapop stuttered, starting to shake.
Darry nodded, and tears threatened to spill out of his blue eyes. Except now, they weren't like two shards of ice. No, they looked so much different now. Like when he had hit Pony, his eyes were filled with genuine fear. However, he didn't cry; Darry was too stubborn for that.
"Pancreatic cancer? What's a pancreas? " Soda asked, wiping the tears away from his eyes. He knew that the pancreas was a part of the human body, but he didn't know where. But you didn't even have to know what type of cancer it was; anything with the word cancer was enough to make someone have a panic attack. That's why Darry hardly ever smoked; cancer sticks was what everyone referred to cigarettes as, and Darry wanted to avoid the risks as much as possible. But now he had it, and he couldn't do anything about it.
"I'm not even sure. All's I know is that it's behind your stomach and next to your small intestine. But it sure hurts like hell when there's something wrong with it." Darry chuckled, trying to lighten Soda's mood. However, Soda didn't even crack a smile back at Darry; he was far too upset and confused. Hadn't they been through enough already? First their parents, then Johnny and Dallas, and now Darry?
Darry stared at Soda and actually felt a stabbing pain in his heart; Soda looked so much different without his smile. The oldest Curtis felt like it was his fault that Soda was upset; why did he have to go and get cancer all of a sudden?
"I'm sorry, Soda." Darry said, ashamed of himself. Soda cocked an eyebrow.
"For what, Dar?" he asked.
"Getting cancer. I mean, we were doing just fine, then I have to go and get cancer. It's my fault; I shouldn't have-"
"Whoa, Darry! It's not your damn fault that you've got cancer! It just happened – it's nobody's fault!" Soda shouted, actually shocked that Darry would think that him getting cancer was his fault.
Darry flinched back, however a sharp pain went through his stomach.
"Ah, I don't feel too good." Darry sighed, swaying round a little.
Soda reached his hand out and pulled Darry closer to him; he didn't want his older brother passing out. He felt how light Darry actually felt, and how helpless he looked. Soda then realized that Darry had certainly grown up before his time, but behind all of that, he was still just a kid; even if he was 22 years old.
"Apparently it's really uncommon for people under 60 to get it. Guess I got lucky." Darry mumbled, and cursed loudly.
"Darry!" Soda scolded, smacking his brother on the shoulder lightly.
"Since when did you become the big brother?" Darry smirked, and Soda finally smiled.
"Well, you can't do it all by yourself." Soda stated, and Darry pulled him into a headlock.
"You know, even with cancer, I can still kick your ass." Darry claimed, and began tickling Soda. Sodapop squealed and dramatically fell on the floor, and then held his hands up.
"Yup, you haven't changed." Sodapop declared. "Yet…" he added under his breath.
He thought that Darry hadn't heard that last word, but he did, and it hurt. A lot.
The oldest Curtis sighed before helping Soda off the ground. Soda brushed the dust off his pants and looked Darry in the eye – he was no longer smiling anymore.
"We're gonna need to tell Pony when he gets home." Soda announced, as if there was a big audience watching him. Darry put his head in his hands; he was afraid of what his little brother's reaction would be. Sure, Pony was mature for his age, but he was still a little boy who was very sensitive, and Darry knew that he had to be careful with his words if he didn't want Ponyboy to run away like last time.
"I'll talk to him if it makes you feel any better." Soda offered, but Darry shook his head.
"Nah, it wouldn't be right. I need to do it myself; he needs to understand that it's not the end of the world and I'm gonna be okay."
"Are you sure, Darry? Last time you said that, Johnny and Dallas ended up dead." Soda said bitterly, but regretted it when he saw Darry's face drop. "I didn't mean it like-"
"Nope, I understand. You're right, the night Ponyboy and Johnny ran away, I told you everything was going to be okay…and it wasn't. So I guess I'm just a liar. You know what, Sodapop? I lied about this whole thing; I don't really have cancer, Johnny and Dally are still alive, mom and dad are still on vacation, and I'm going to college. Everything is just a lie. I'm fine; you're fine, so let's leave it at that!" Darry yelled, and sunk to the ground.
Soda was at his side instantly and hugged Darry, who at first didn't return the hug, but eventually settled down.
"Listen, Dar, it's okay. I'm sorry; you're right, everything will be okay. I guess I'm just scared. Hell, if I'm scared then I don't know how the hell you must be feelin', but we're all gonna be okay." Soda assured Darry, who was trembling. Darry nodded and eventually stopped shaking, however he was afraid to talk; he knew if he did then he would burst into tears, and Darry didn't want to do that in front of his younger brother.
"What's goin' on in here? Why are ya both on the floor?" Soda and Darry snapped their heads up to find Ponyboy standing by the door with a confused look on his face. "Is everything okay?"
"Ponyboy, why don't you sit down?" Darry said, standing up and walking over to Ponyboy. Ponyboy still had the confused expression on his face but sat down anyway.
"I'll leave you two to talk." Soda announced, heading outside to head over to Steve's house. Steve's dad was out drinking, so that left the two with some time to talk.
"Am I in trouble?" Pony asked once Soda had left. He had a knot in his stomach, knowing that the conversation wasn't going to be pleasant, whatever it was that Darry had to tell him.
"No, you're not in trouble, but I can tell you, you're not going to like what you're about to hear." Darry stated sadly, placing his hands on his knees.
Ponyboy gulped but shrugged, "Well, whatever it is, it can't be that bad. What happened? Did you lose your job?"
Darry sighed and started clenching his hands, making his knuckles sore.
"Pony, I've got…I've been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer." Ponyboy's eyes widened and his mouth dropped open in shock. "I'm gonna get through it though, Pony, because we always do." Darry whispered, and a few tears slipped out of his eyes.
Ponyboy was now sobbing; he had lost so much, so many people, and now another person was drifting away too. Why were they being punished so much?
"It's alright, Pony. I told you, we're going to get through it." Darry pleaded; he really hated seeing Ponyboy cry over him.
"Darry, hardly anyone who has pancreatic cancer survives! How can you be so calm?!" Pony yelled, standing up and throwing his hands in the air.
Darry flinched back, actually starting to feel a little afraid of Ponyboy.
"So this is what Ponyboy feels like when I holler at him?" Darry thought.
"Pony, it's okay. I promise that-" Darry started, but Ponyboy interrupted him immediately.
"Don't Darry, just don't; you know I don't like people making promises when they can't keep them." Pony said bitterly.
"But I will be! I have to be! I just…" Darry whispered, but he felt the tears coming to his eyes. "I can't just leave you two…" he blubbered, and then started crying.
Ponyboy was shocked; he had only seen Darry cry after they found him at the hospital and after Darry was scared that they had lost him like mom and dad. But now, now it was Darry who everyone was concerned for.
"Dar, it's okay." Ponyboy muttered quietly, and sat back down next to Darry and wrapped his arms around his oldest brother. "I'm just worried; you're actin' as if this is no big deal. It's not something you can just forget; it's something you need to fight. And you will Dar, I know you will."
"Yeah, I will." Darry sighed and pulled Pony closer to him. "You know, you're still pretty small, even for a sixteen year old." The greaser smiled, and Ponyboy shook his head.
"You just wish that I was small, so you can baby me." Ponyboy mumbled grouchily. Darry's smile widened and he stood up and picked Pony off the couch. "Darry, stop it!" Pony screamed, but Darry pretended that he couldn't hear and flipped Ponyboy upside down and threw him on the couch.
The greaser regretted his actions when he felt a sharp pain shoot through his back and stomach. An even worse one shot through his head, and the man tumbled over and landed on Ponyboy.
"Dar? You okay?" Ponyboy asked, gently pushing Darry off his body.
"Mmm." The greaser mumbled, rubbing his forehead against one of the cushions. "Guess I can't do my awesome tricks anymore." He sighed, getting up to go and find some aspirin.
"I guess you can't." Ponyboy whispered, and lay down on the couch.
AN: Hey guys, I'm sorry if this chapter was rushed, but I wanted to update since I haven't updated in a few days. I started writing this yesterday, but I couldn't finish it since I was really tired. יום עצמאות שמח! This chapter will hopefully be updated tomorrow, til then…Stay Gold! :D