A/N: Thanks so much to all my reviewers (especially Kim who's review really
touched me) I will try another song fic sometime, not in this story though,
this one has grown on me so fast, Im enjoying it more and more with each
chapter.....Thanks again everyone.
Catherine felt a hand on her shoulder as she was watching the kids around the fire. It was her husband. She smiled as he wrapped his arm around her waist. She was enjoying the sight of what was happening just outside. If only Alex and John could be honest to each other. As a mother, she had always felt the feelings John was trying to hide towards Alex. They could be so good to each other. But on the other side, she hoped this little romance would not tear John and Sean apart.
Since Sean's long time girlfriend left him, he had changed so much. He had lost his joy of life. He also seemed like he was falling for Alex again. But she knew it wasn't a good idea at all.
" You'd love it if Alex became our real daughter huh?" Softly asked John sr. who had understood the situation too.
She nod and kissed him. They went upstairs to go to sleep before the others came back in, she didn't wanted to be caught watching them.
Catherine jerked up in her bed a few hours later. She had heard a scream followed by sobbing. It was Alex! But it quickly stopped when she heard whispering. She smiled, John was probably comforting her. She wanted to check up on the girl but if John was already there, she didn't want to spoil the moment. She layed back in her bed, cuddling against her husband.
I don't remember what the dream was, only that it was really painful. I awoke screaming and crying. It must have been about my parents. I bit my lower lips, not wanting to wake John. But I felt a load on the bed and arms wrapped around me. I hid myself in his arms, crying even more. He stroked my hair silently.
" John, I can't believe it!"
" Let it out Xandra, let it out. It's awful to see you cover everything up. We know you're strong, but you need to face the facts. And you're not alone, my family's here for you. And I'll always be here for you too. "
I leaned back and plonged my gaze into his. I stared at him in the dark. I knew he was sincere. But I also knew it wasn't time to lose control. I cried even more and hid myself under my pillow. I didn't want to cry in front of him. He took the pillow off my face and lied beside me.
" Xandra, I know who you are, how you think. I can honestly say I'm the one who knows you best. I know you always felt like you needed to hide your weaknesses from everyone, that you thought you had to prove you were strong. But don't you know that with me you can be yourself? I'm here for you Xandra, I know you're strong but I hope you know you can show your pain to me. You need to get it out, cry your pain out, then you might find it easy to move on. I love you Alex, please always remember that."
I cuddled in his arms, letting my head rest on his shoulders. I didn't bothered to wipe my tears anymore. John was right, I didn't need to hide my feelings. I felt safe with him, I trusted him. He wanted to help me, and he cared for me. Wolfie jumped on the bed, lying to our feet. John had his lips on my forehead. We weren't moving, not speaking, just sharing an incredible pain. I wondered when things would get back to normal for me. The worst was yet to come. The funerals were scaring me. Not to speak about going back to the family house. I let out a sigh, realising I stopped crying.
" Don't you worry my Xandra, I'll stay besides you. I mean, I'll be with you for the funerals and if you need me for anything else, I'll be here too. I know you don't want to go back to your house, there's too much souvenirs there. I told you yesterday, I still have two weeks left before beginning my training and I wanted to spend them with you. I had no idea what drama happened to you though. But know this, I couldn't have been happier then when I saw you walking down down the stairs. I wished I'd be able to see you again, the separation had been really hard on me."
" It was horrible for me too. Studying in a foreign country is harder then it seems first. I mean you get away from all the ones you love, friends or family. Beeing back here had helped me a lot. I realise I'm not as alone as I thought. You are the most important person in the whole wide world John, you're more than my best friend, more than a brother. I can't explain it, but I've always had a special place in my heart for you and always will."
She felt his heart fasten a little.
" Shhh! Please Xandra, don't say stuff you don't mean. Because now you're hurting, you need to be careful, I know you care about me a great deal. But when things will be settled for you, I'll be honest with you and we'll see from there where and what we'll be doing. Deal? I don't want to rush things between us, right now you need someone who loves you and is ready to stay besides you. Not a lover, but I love you too....."
I smiled, grateful he felt the same way. We both knew it wasn't time to get involved in some sort of romance. But we couldn't deny our feelings either. All I needed right now was to feel safe and loved. Which I totally did, cuddled in the warmth of his arms. We quickly drifted back to sleep, never letting go of each other.....
Catherine felt a hand on her shoulder as she was watching the kids around the fire. It was her husband. She smiled as he wrapped his arm around her waist. She was enjoying the sight of what was happening just outside. If only Alex and John could be honest to each other. As a mother, she had always felt the feelings John was trying to hide towards Alex. They could be so good to each other. But on the other side, she hoped this little romance would not tear John and Sean apart.
Since Sean's long time girlfriend left him, he had changed so much. He had lost his joy of life. He also seemed like he was falling for Alex again. But she knew it wasn't a good idea at all.
" You'd love it if Alex became our real daughter huh?" Softly asked John sr. who had understood the situation too.
She nod and kissed him. They went upstairs to go to sleep before the others came back in, she didn't wanted to be caught watching them.
Catherine jerked up in her bed a few hours later. She had heard a scream followed by sobbing. It was Alex! But it quickly stopped when she heard whispering. She smiled, John was probably comforting her. She wanted to check up on the girl but if John was already there, she didn't want to spoil the moment. She layed back in her bed, cuddling against her husband.
I don't remember what the dream was, only that it was really painful. I awoke screaming and crying. It must have been about my parents. I bit my lower lips, not wanting to wake John. But I felt a load on the bed and arms wrapped around me. I hid myself in his arms, crying even more. He stroked my hair silently.
" John, I can't believe it!"
" Let it out Xandra, let it out. It's awful to see you cover everything up. We know you're strong, but you need to face the facts. And you're not alone, my family's here for you. And I'll always be here for you too. "
I leaned back and plonged my gaze into his. I stared at him in the dark. I knew he was sincere. But I also knew it wasn't time to lose control. I cried even more and hid myself under my pillow. I didn't want to cry in front of him. He took the pillow off my face and lied beside me.
" Xandra, I know who you are, how you think. I can honestly say I'm the one who knows you best. I know you always felt like you needed to hide your weaknesses from everyone, that you thought you had to prove you were strong. But don't you know that with me you can be yourself? I'm here for you Xandra, I know you're strong but I hope you know you can show your pain to me. You need to get it out, cry your pain out, then you might find it easy to move on. I love you Alex, please always remember that."
I cuddled in his arms, letting my head rest on his shoulders. I didn't bothered to wipe my tears anymore. John was right, I didn't need to hide my feelings. I felt safe with him, I trusted him. He wanted to help me, and he cared for me. Wolfie jumped on the bed, lying to our feet. John had his lips on my forehead. We weren't moving, not speaking, just sharing an incredible pain. I wondered when things would get back to normal for me. The worst was yet to come. The funerals were scaring me. Not to speak about going back to the family house. I let out a sigh, realising I stopped crying.
" Don't you worry my Xandra, I'll stay besides you. I mean, I'll be with you for the funerals and if you need me for anything else, I'll be here too. I know you don't want to go back to your house, there's too much souvenirs there. I told you yesterday, I still have two weeks left before beginning my training and I wanted to spend them with you. I had no idea what drama happened to you though. But know this, I couldn't have been happier then when I saw you walking down down the stairs. I wished I'd be able to see you again, the separation had been really hard on me."
" It was horrible for me too. Studying in a foreign country is harder then it seems first. I mean you get away from all the ones you love, friends or family. Beeing back here had helped me a lot. I realise I'm not as alone as I thought. You are the most important person in the whole wide world John, you're more than my best friend, more than a brother. I can't explain it, but I've always had a special place in my heart for you and always will."
She felt his heart fasten a little.
" Shhh! Please Xandra, don't say stuff you don't mean. Because now you're hurting, you need to be careful, I know you care about me a great deal. But when things will be settled for you, I'll be honest with you and we'll see from there where and what we'll be doing. Deal? I don't want to rush things between us, right now you need someone who loves you and is ready to stay besides you. Not a lover, but I love you too....."
I smiled, grateful he felt the same way. We both knew it wasn't time to get involved in some sort of romance. But we couldn't deny our feelings either. All I needed right now was to feel safe and loved. Which I totally did, cuddled in the warmth of his arms. We quickly drifted back to sleep, never letting go of each other.....