A/N: Thanks everyone to have the patience to wait after my updates... I try my best, but There's always something going wrong. this time, it was my computer crashing...Anyway, here you go.

I was staring at myself in the mirror. My eyes were fixed on the brush moving up and down my hair. The long black dress I was wearing made me shiver. The dreadful day had come. I couldn't believe that only two days ago, I was singing with my friends around a campfire, neither finally admitting my feelings to John. The only place I felt safe anymore was his bedroom. Every night now, we would sleep in the same bed, finding comfort into each other's arms. He was keeping the nightmares away from my dreams, and I....I had no idea what I could have been helping him from. Maybe it was some kind of weakness. Maybe he was scared about his contract with the WWE. He always seemed so sure of himself, but everyone had soft spots, weaknesses hid somewhere. Maybe John felt stronger by my side. I didn't know and I honestly didn't cared. At least not enough to ask. I respected his feelings. I loved him. It was some kind of comfort to speak these words to myself. I was in love with John Cena. I smiled at the reflexion staring at me in the mirror, there was such despair in my eyes.

How could life led me to all this? How was I suppose to go on now? Easy, said a little voice in my head, clung as hard as you can on what you have left. Your second family and John. I said his name softly out loud. "John." I was so lost into the reflexion that I didn't felt warm hands on my shoulders. " You called me?" His face was trying to stay serious but the sparks in his eyes told otherwise. I couldn't help myself, when I met his gaze in the mirror, I faced him and buried my face in his shirt. I tried my hardest not to cry while he was running his hands through my hair. He was making cooing noises to calm me down.

"Xandra?" His voice was hesitant. I pulled away from him and stared at him. A little smile was showing on the corner of his lips. He was hiding something behind his back. He showed it to me. It was a black tie. " Could you help me tie it please? I can't seem to get through it and I don't want to ask mother, she'll make fun of me."

" But John? You always said you hated ties, that you would prefer to die than wear one. You used to say that even on your wedding day, as much as you would love your future bride you would never wear one. What's wrong with you?"

He sighed, the smile disapearing from his face. " I'm doing this for you Alexandra, for your parents. They deserve it, you deserve all I can be..."

" You didn't have to.... They loved you the way you are, I love you like you are..."

My voice broke down and the tears threatened to come back. John made the move to hold me in his arms again but the door bursted open behind us, keeping us from moving. Sean came in, glaring at John.

" Aren't gonna leave her alone only two seconds? She needs to get ready, we're about to leave. Let her be alone for God's sake!"

We were both surprised by his anger. I saw John stiffen up, facing his brother.

" What's with the attitude Sean? Come on bro, that's still MY bedroom and besides, I needed help with this freaking tie. We're not in High School anymore so buzz off."

I frowned, things couldn't get that tense between those two, especially not today, I couldn't take it.

" And what is that suppose to mean brother?" Answered calmly Sean. His voice had sounded like a threat. I shivered, please Gods not today.

John threw a sorry look my way then answered. " I wish I didn't have to explain but you leave me no choice. Alex is not your girlfriend anymore, she doesn't need you to be protecting her, especially not from me. Stop trying to guess what she needs or don't need, she's all grown up. As for me, what I know about her needs is that she needs love right now. If I can help her that's fine and I'm sure she doesn't need us fighting over her right now. Understand?"

Sean took a step back and mumbled something like " If you think you're the only one loving her...." But he left so we weren't sure what he had said. John sighed and apologised, leaving me alone to finish getting prepared.

I remained silent all the way to the church. I wasn't aware of any of my actions. I knew John drove me there, leaving the rest of the family together. But I don't remember the ride at all. We sat up in the front, near his parents. I cried all the time, Catherine and John sitting beside me, holding my hands. The church was full of people mourning, my parents had been popular in town. Such warm and friendly people who would be missed. John whispered something in my ear, making me come back to reality. It was my time to go in front, I was suppose to make a speech. But the priest know I chose to do otherwise.

My last action for my parents would be to sing. They had always loved to hear me sing, wishing me to try a carreer in ShowBiz. But I didn't felt like it. I kept my voice for my friends and family. I had chose one of my favorites song from when I was little, the one I always sang to Mama on her birthday. I changed the lyrics to fit the situation. It was Mama, from the Spice Girls.

She used to be my only enemy and never let to be me free,
Catching me in places that I know I shoudn't be,
Every other day I crossed the line,
I didn't mean to be so bad,
I never thought you become the friends I never had,

John sr and Catherine didn't held their tears anymore. They remembered too well the birthdays we all spent together. When we were all happy, all together. When I sang this song to my Mama or on mother's day when it was for both women. Mama always said one day my daughter would sing it to me too. She would never get to see that now. She will miss on the joy of seeing my kids. A tear ran down my face and my voice almost broke. But a look on John's face gave me courage. His eyes were filled with love as he whispered the lyrics with me.

Back then I didn't know why,
Why you were misunderstood,
So now I see through your eyes,
All that you did was love,
Mama I love you, Mama I care,
Dada I love you, Dada my friend,
My friends, My lovely parents

Everyone held their breaths. I didn't knew it, but I looked like an angel on the stage, singing my heart out like that. All I could see was the love in John's eyes. That's what kept me going on without fainting.

I didn't want to hear it then but I'm not ashame to say it now,
Every little thing you said and did was right for me,
I had a lot of time to think about,
About the way I used to be,
Never had a sense of my responsibility,

I heard some of my old teachers say something about pranks, then a old comrade from school whispered " Sexiest Tomboy". There was laughter in the church at the souvenir. It lifted the tension. We all remembered my Mama had been horrified by that title. She wanted me to be like a little princess, not a tomboy.

Back then I didn't know why,
Why you were misunderstood,
So now I see through your eyes,
All that you did was love,
Dada I love you, Dada I care,
Mama I love you, Mama my friend,
My Parents,

I spoke the last few lyrics, my eyes up to the sky, like I hoped my parents could hear and see me. Like I believed I could see them looking down on me. A warmth covered me.

Mama I love you, Mama I care,
DaDa I love you, Dada my friend,
My parents.

That was all I could do. All my strenght was gone now. I made a step to go back to my place but despair suddenly covered me entirely. I began sobbing without control, it even hurted my chest and throat. Then, my vision blurred and I felt myself falling to the floor, only to be catched in-extremis by strong arms.....

A/N: Evil Smile I couldn't resist another cliffie.... And the tension was too high for me. I hope you liked, more to come soon. Thanks and dont forget to review!!