4. Invitations

Rosalie was pacing, and Emmett was lounging on the couch, he was never scared, never concerned, never apprehensive… it irritated me. Jasper was standing by the stairs as Alice sat on the second to the bottom, and Esme was sitting at the dining room table.

Carlisle and Esme were scrupulous about detail to being normal, the dining room was never used for that purpose of course. However when we had a dispute or discussion we used this to prevent the argument becoming violent, Esme sitting there was however wishful thinking I feared. I didn't want to argue, but I didn't think there was a choice anymore.

I pulled into the garage and followed Carlisle into the house. Esme flitted to Carlisle's side immediately, and she looked at me with reproachful eyes.

Edward, they havn't told me anything please, what happened?

I glared at my siblings, they shouldn't have kept this from her, she must have been sick with worry.

"There was almost an accident, Bella was involved, she was almost crushed three times by a van." Esme gasped, immediately thinking of the blood, "I couldn't do anything but expose us. I couldn't let her die."

Esme was panicked, thinking about where we could go. I didn't want to go anywhere.

"Only Bella saw, I don't think she knows what to make of it all, but she won't tell anyone." I explained.

"How do you know she won't tell anyone?" Rosalie snapped, "How do you know if you can't see her thoughts? By her word?"

This was true, Rosalie had immediately spotted my one weakness, the one flaw in my argument.

"Alice?" I asked, turning to her, and she suddenly nodded, closed her eyes and had a deep look of concentration. I tried to follow the images but they were too fast.

"It doesn't matter if we stay or go, Bella won't say anything." She said, and Rosalie was almost murderous. Jasper also looked unhappy.

"She knows that there's something different, it doesn't make sense to stay." Jasper reasoned, but in his mind a different plan was forming, destroying the evidence, any trace of our existence, and that trace was hidden in Isabella Swan's mind.

I growled at him, and half crouched as I saw the scene play out in his mind, he was deciding on breaking her neck, so that he couldn't be tempted.

"Edward," Esme whispered, and Alice placed a hand on Jasper's arm to caution him, but he didn't relax. Jasper was by far the most experienced fighter among us. His years in the south provided him with his knowledge, but I had the advantage of knowing his moves half a second before he played them out. We had never really fought, we had only played around, I didn't know who would win if we tried to kill each other.

"Jasper," Alice's voice was slightly higher than usual, and his head snapped around to her in an instant, "Please stop, I hate it when you start fighting, and besides, Bella is going to be my friend soon, and I would be most put out if you tried to hurt her."

Jasper stared at Alice incredulously, I could feel his questions burning like a flame, but he kept silent, unable to move. He would never deny Alice anything she wanted, but he would also do anything to quench any threats that could harm her.

"Alice, seriously?" Rosalie asked, and Alice nodded, unperturbed by the tone that questioned her taste.

"Edward is going to love Bella, I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't already feel it," she said, looking at me, daring me to challenge her, "but she's going to die." Esme gasped, rushing to me, but I ignored her, still focused on Alice. "She's either going to die or become one of us."

So I'd behaved myself to the point that there was a choice in this matter, either she died, or was immortal. Which was the better option? Die and keep your soul, or live forever and not have to worry?

"Are you sure Alice?" Carlisle asked, not bothering to hide his disgust and concern.

"Well, there is a small chance she'll live to see her 18th birthday as human, but it's small, so small. It will mean Edward needs the kind of control I've never seen before, more so than even you Carlisle."

I shook my head, she would not become involved with us. I would never allow it!

"Edward, you can't stay away from her!" Think about it, think about leaving! She added afterwards. I grimaced, and she smiled smugly.

"Your future is set, as is hers; it's going to be hard if not impossible to break that Edward."

I turned and walked out the door, slamming it as I went, I ignored it when it ricocheted back off its hinging, scattering the floor with splinters off wood. As soon as I was outside I started running, faster and faster, not really knowing where I was going until I stood outside a house. Bella's house. I took a calculated jump was resting on a window ledge, looking in on a room. It was slightly messy, shoes scattered along the floor, books piled by the bed. An ancient computer was placed on the desk, the modem stapled across the floor. I looked into the bed and lying, with the sheets tangled around her legs was Bella.

I had degraded to a peeping tom I realized, but I was worse as I slowly started to slide the window across. It wasn't locked, but it creaked and whined, and I stopped, hesitant for if she woke I might not be able to close it and jump down in time.

I would have to bring some oil for next time. Next time? I shook my head in disgust, but as I got the window fully open, I held my breath, and curiosity overrode that feeling as I lightly stepped into her room. Keeping my breath held I looked at her, she was laying face down, one arm splayed out, the other beneath her cheek. Her lips were parted slightly, and her hair was fanned out, some locks were covering her face and I was desperate to move them so I could see her more clearly. I restrained myself, and just as I was turning to leave something caught my attention.

"No… don't" Bella mumbled, I stared wide-eyed at her. Bella spoke in her sleep.

"Edward!" she called, louder, and I was too stunned move, too shocked to leave, she was dreaming about me, but she had said 'Don't'… it was a nightmare. Of course it was, surely I didn't expect anything different?

"Edward," she mumbled again, and I felt the same thrill go through me that I felt when I said her name, "Stay." She finished.

Stay? That didn't sound like a nightmare, it sounded different, as though she wanted me in her dreams, and that wasn't healthy. Dream or no I wasn't supposed to be with her, it wasn't natural.

Despite myself I sat in the old rocking chair in the corner, to see if she spoke anymore. Just after sunrise I left, relieved to be able to breathe again.

I would go to school and act as though she didn't exist, as though there was a thick wall between us. It was the best way. It was the only way for her and it could be the only way for me. I might not be able to live with myself if anything happened to her.

The first biology lesson after the accident we sat together and she sat down, I showed no sign I realized that another person had even existed there.

"Hello Edward." She said pleasantly, purposefully, was she going to make this difficult? I only turned my head a fraction of an inch towards her, hating myself for the ungentlemanly fashion that I was behaving towards her, nodded slightly and turned back.

It had been a month since and that was the last contact I had had with the girl I have been sitting next, a foot away from every week day. It didn't stop her watching us, or just me. I wasn't sure which, she always watched from a distance though, the cafeteria or the parking lot. When she thought we weren't aware of it. Alice wasn't happy, it was as though she missed the best friend she didn't even know.

You're a lot better at being miserable than I'd give you credit for you know, you're future is all jumbled again. She said one afternoon after one of Bella's staring antics.

"Thanks." I muttered sarcastically.

Mike Newton was annoying me, he had began sitting on Bella's side of the Biology table before class started, talking to her about things, never asking the right questions, the questions I wanted to know the answers to. He ignored me, as though I didn't exist, however his mind gave away the insecurities of the male teenage mind.

I wonder if she's going to ask me to the dance or if I should ask her, I could always say yes to Jess before I lose her as a back-up, or if she'll ask Cullen, but they're obviously not talking, I mean, anyone could tell me that.

He was a coward not to ask him herself, but then here I was not talking to her because of what the future might possibly hold. He was still a coward. He was awkwardly trying to 'psych' himself up to ask her.

"So," he started, looking at the floor, and Bella looked up at him, "Jessica asked me to the spring dance."

"That's great." Bella replied, her enthusiasm made me happy, she didn't sound down-heartened that she hadn't asked him herself. "You'll have a lot of fun with Jessica."

"Well…" He left the sentence unfinished hoping she would catch on quickly, she didn't and he would have to pluck up the courage himself. "I told her I had to think about it."

"Why would you do that?" she responded, letting disapproval flood her voice, but I could hear some relief there also, was she glad that there was an opening? That she could ask him? Mike Newton of all people?

"I was wondering… well, if you might be planning to ask me."

So Newton had gained the courage, and I felt my head tilt in their direction, I couldn't miss her answer, would she say she was planning to ask him? What would happen?

"Mike, I think you should tell her yes," she said, and I almost breathed a sigh of relief.

"Did you already ask someone?" he asked, his pride wounded and his eyes flickered in my direction.

"No," she assured him calmly. "I'm not going to the dance at all."

She wasn't? Or was she just saying this to let him down softly? Gently as it were.

"Why not?" Newton demanded rudely, he shouldn't speak to Bella like that, he should have more manners.

Bella looked uncomfortable for a few seconds in the reflection of Newton's eyes and then she said;

"I'm going to Seattle that Saturday." I understood perfectly, it was a spur of the moment plan, she had no idea what she was going to do until that moment.

"Can't you go any other weekend?" he asked, his child voice still rude.

"Sorry, no." she said, seeming to get tired of his questions, "So you shouldn't make Jess wait any longer – it's rude."

"Yeah, you're right." He mumbled, and then went to his seat. Bella sat with her eyes closed, pressing her two index fingers to her temple as though trying to relieve a bad headache. What was she thinking?

She opened her eyes and saw me looking but I didn't turn away, I needed to know what she was thinking, had she turned down Newton because of her friend Jessica Stanley, or was she really uninterested? Did she plan to drive all the way to Seattle just to avoid the school dance or would she hide at home?

"Mr Cullen?" the teacher asked, and I was frustrated, he made me turn away, but Bella had started to shake, she hadn't been breathing properly, it was probably just as well.

"The Krebs Cycle." I answered, taking in a scorching breath and he nodded, unsurprised, but he only asked me because I was staring at Bella and Bella seemed in no fit state to answer a question.

Bella had looked at her book the moment I looked away, and shifted her hair over her shoulder so I couldn't again find purchase to search into her mind.

She didn't look at me for the rest of the lesson and I grew irritated, I wanted to talk to her. The bell rang and she turned her back, probably expecting me to leave immediately as I had for the last month.

"Bella?" I asked for her attention, giving her a choice as to whether she gave me it or not. She had every right to ignore me. I had been inexcusably rude this last month. However the consequences of me not being were worse that she could imagine.

She turned slowly, as though she wasn't willing to but was forced to by invisible strings. Her expression was wary as she looked at me. I didn't say anything as I looked at her; I was waiting for the class to leave.

"What?" she asked with a bit of petulance in her voice, "Are you speaking to me again?"

I bit back a smile, trying not to fall back into our old tense little bubble. "No, not really."

She closed her eyes and inhaled through her nose, I wondered if she was aware that she was grinding her teeth.

"Then what do you want, Edward?" she asked me, her eyes still closed.

"I'm sorry," I said, trying to sound sincere, but not too deep, "I'm being very rude, I know. But it's better this way, really."

She opened her chocolate eyes, and they held a lot of confusion. My serious face was mirrored in them.

"I don't know what you mean." She said, her voice was a little guarded and defensive.

"It's better if we're not friends," I tried to explain the best I could, without slipping up again, "Trust me."

But when did she ever trust me? I wasn't someone to be trusted. I sighed and watched her eyes narrow, what had I said?

"It's too bad you didn't figure that out earlier," she hissed through her teeth, momentarily stunning me, "you could have saved yourself all this regret."

"Regret?" I questioned, her tone was confusing, as confusing as the statement. I didn't regret anything, not as far as I was aware anyway. "Regret for what?"

"For not letting that stupid van squish me."

She thought I regretted that? Of all things that had happened over the last couple of months that was the one thing that had gone right! It had gone right and here she was questioning my opinion on it! I bit my anger back, trying to calm myself before I spoke again.

"You think I regret saving your life?"

"I know you do," she snapped, and I was unable to contain myself much.

"You don't know anything."

She turned quickly for a human, and gathered her books together, she stood from her stool and I watched as she strode to the door. She tripped slightly and her books tumbled to the floor. I bit my lip from the laughter as she seemed to debate whether they were even worth picking up, but she sighed and bent to retrieve them.

No one was here to I was at her side with the books in my arms in a second.

"Thank you." She said coldly, and my eyes narrowed.

"You're welcome." I retorted.

She straightened and left the room. I went to last lesson in a foul mood and Emmett didn't help with his wise-crack jokes. However my mood lightened somewhat when I left without Emmett against and saw Eric standing by Bella's truck, his intentions as clear as day in my head. I laughed slightly and walked at a quicker pace to walk past just at the right moment to get to my car.

He stood uncomfortably waiting for her, I could tell from this distance even without my extra sense that he was considering how to stand. Upright and tall, or slouch against the bonnet, and be casual? The questions raged in his mind, but at least he had more courage than Mike and was going to ask Bella himself and not wait for her.

I saw Bella then, walk around the corner from the direction of Gym. She did a double-take when she saw him standing upright and tall at her truck, but then she started walking again.

"Hey Eric," she called from a distance, and he hesitated, not wanting to shout his question across the lot.

"Hi Bella." He said when she was closer, I was timing this just right.

"What's up?" she asked as she unlocked the door. She didn't seem to have noticed his awkward behavior, the way he held himself to stiffly, or the way his eyes gazed upon her.

"Uh, I was just wondering… if you would go to the spring dance with me?"

It was almost a good way to word it, I thought, he wasn't assuming she would say yes, he made that clear in his question, but he had hesitated at the beginning, surely she would pick up on that, the uncertainty? Would she believe that he would be unsure of whether he wanted to go with her? That she was a last option? Then at the end his voice broke, as though he believed himself unworthy of giving her a good time, I truly believed him to be unworthy, but as I kept reminding myself. This was about Bella, what was she thinking?

"I thought it was girls' choice?" she said, seeming startled by his question, did his unhealthy skin and slick greasy hair please her in some way?

"Well, yeah." He seemed to be ashamed of asking now, of breaking the rules. Bella closed her eyes, and I was desperate to see what happened next, just like I had been with the Newton child.

"Thank you for asking me, but I'm going to be in Seattle that day." She said diplomatically, Thank you Seattle… I thought.

"Oh," he said, down-heartened, "Well maybe next time."

"Sure," she agreed, and my breathing stopped, what did that mean? But then she bit her lip as though she didn't want to give him too much leverage.

I laughed, just as I walked past, and Bella looked at me, I however tried to keep my face composed as I looked straight ahead. She opened her truck door as I reached my car and Bella slammed her door. She revved the engine loudly, but I was already in the car and reversing out, cutting off her only exit. My family were by the cafeteria now, and they were headed this way. Bella thrummed her fingers impatiently on the steering wheel, also looking over to them.

My plan had worked perfectly, I knew it was stupid, but what if he had phoned her and I wasn't there to hear the answer? What if she said yes to him?

Tyler Crowley was stuck directly behind Bella in the jam I was causing, and as she deliberately seemed to look everywhere but at my Volvo she gave him a quick glance, ignoring his waves from the driving seat of the used Sentra he had recently bought.

He was more confident that Eric and the Newton child, he stepped out of his car and walked up to Bella's passenger side window, his engine still running the door open.

She didn't notice him at first, and so he rapped on the window with his knuckles. She looked over and then to her review mirror. She seemed to acknowledge the fact that it was indeed Tyler standing there and then she leant across the cab and, with some apparent difficulty rolled down the window half-way. She then sat back up and an annoyed look to my cars direction and said;

"I'm sorry, Tyler, I'm stuck behind Cullen."

Ouch, I wasn't even 'Edward' anymore, or maybe she liked Tyler, maybe she didn't want this Tyler Crowley person thinking she liked me and that's why she called me 'Cullen' for him. The angry lion type feeling welled up inside of me.

"Oh, I know – I just wanted to ask you something while we're trapped here." Crowley grinned, resting his arms, on her window. Bella's bottom lip dropped ever-so-slightly.

"Will you ask me to the spring dance?" he continued, and this was outrageous. He asked her to ask him. This way he could tell everyone that she asked him as though it was her idea. I shook my head.

"I'm not going to be in town, Tyler." She said, her voice sounding sharp, and I liked this, she too must have seen what I had seen. That he was playing her to get things his way.

"Yeah, Mike said that," He admitted, rejection not completely registering with him yet.

"Then why –"

Tyler shrugged, and I watched from the rear-view mirror "I was hoping you were letting him down easy."

Irritation flashed across Bella's face. I saw it, but Tyler didn't.

"Sorry, Tyler," she said, the irritation showing slightly in her voice "I really am going out of town."

"That's cool. We still have prom." He smiled, and then walked back to his car before she could respond. Her mouth hung openly now, and I couldn't help but shake with laughter, she looked at me as Alice slipped into the front, the others into the back. I sped away, leaving her to be the one holding up the traffic.

I knew that as I drove home one thing was certain, Alice was right, I couldn't stay away from Bella.

As I thought about this Alice gasped and her eyes lit up.

"It means nothing," I growled, but she shook her head in disagreement.

"You're wrong." Was all she said, but I could see through her mind that my future was back on course, as was Bella's. I grimaced.

That night I returned to Bella's house, with the oil, and the window glided effortlessly across. It rained and as the rain pattered down, Bella rolled and moved in her bed so much I could have sworn that she was awake trying to get comfortable.

I sat down in the rocking chair, and then gripping my thighs tightly I took in a small hesitant breath. Ahh it was beautiful, so delicious, so painful.

Breathe it in. I knew that if I really wanted to spend any time with Bella that this was my first priority. To make sure I was safe. To make sure I could handle the thirst, and to make sure I wouldn't hurt her. I took in another breathe, ignoring the fire that made the venom in my mouth seem unbearable.

Bella. I thought. It was really her lying there, not food, Bella. I went through the night taking slow calculated breaths, they were getting easier all the time. The more she was in my head, the more I could control it. Soon I had to leave, run home, on the pretence of getting in the car with my family and seeing Bella at school. It was then that I realized something, as I was running.

Bella might say no to me. Alice might see something yes, but I could have done something wrong, she might say no at first, all my assumptions, all my precautions, and I overlooked the most vital thing; Bella's choice. I was so arrogant.

When I got home I ignored Alice's joy, and I ignored Jasper's warnings. I ignored Rosalie and her threats, I even ignored Emmett's teasing.

I went for a quick hunt in the park, taking down two deer, leaving my eyes a bright gold, and then changed for school. Where I would see Bella.

When I was back Carlisle had left for work, Esme was sitting at the dining room tablet reading something in Arabic, and everyone was sitting waiting for me in the Volvo. Alice Jasper and Emmett were not too impatient, but Rosalie was tapping her foot and flicking her hair every once and a while to mark the time passing.

"Alright alright, I'm coming." I muttered, but they could hear me, as I walked out the replaced door, waving to Esme. She only half raised a hand, not quite forgiving me, for breaking her front door.

We arrived at the school and they others made no comment when I didn't join them in getting out of the car. I was waiting for Bella. I could faintly hear her truck coming up the highway from the opposite way.

I waited, and as she pulled in she seemed to deliberately park in the opposite part of the lot. I frowned, and then got out, not locking the car, and went over to her. She dropped her keys as she got out, and they landed in a puddle, I didn't want her to put her hand in the water, it would be cold, so I went slightly more quickly; retrieving them before she could.

She jerked back up and I was leaning against the truck, smiling. Her eyes narrowed, she was still angry with me?

"How do you do that?" she asked, more irritated that anything, irritated at being kept out of a secret.

"Do what?" I asked innocently as I held out her key, and she reached for it, so I dropped it into her palm.

"Appear out of thin air." She replied exasperated.

"Bella," I started, allowing myself for once to enjoy the feeling saying her voice made me feel "It's not my fault you are exceptionally unobservant." My voice was quiet because I knew this wasn't true, she was exceptionally observant. She noticed far too much. She scowled at me.

"Why the traffic jam last night?" she demanded, looking away from me still, I wish she wouldn't, I wished she would look at me, I yearned to reach for her chin and move her face so I could see her eyes.

"I thought you were supposed to be pretending I don't exist, not irritating me to death." She continued.

"That was for Tyler's sake, not mine. I had to give him his chance." I laughed slightly at the memory of Bella's face.

"You…" she gasped, her jaw dropping, her expression a mixture of fierce anger and shock. It was amusing to watch.

"And I'm not pretending you don't exist," I continued, I was doing far from the opposite now, as I took in another breath.

Feel the burn.

"So you are trying to irritate me to death? Since Tyler's van didn't do the job?"

This made me angry, how could she assume that I regretted that? That I didn't want to do that? This was completely unnecessary as part of our conversation.

"Bella, you are utterly absurd," I said in a low, slightly angry voice.

Her eyes narrowed, and her face became hard. She turned her back, swishing her hair and started to walk away. It took me perhaps two seconds to get over the strengthened scent of her hair, to bite it back, and then follow.

"Wait," I called, but she kept walking, her boots sloshing against the puddles the rain had made. I caught up to her, keeping pace.

"I'm sorry that was rude," I apologized, but she pretended as though I hadn't spoken, "I'm not saying it isn't true," I amended, "but it was rude to say it, anyway."

"Why won't you leave me alone?" she grumbled. Did she really want me to? She had asked me to stay in her dream, but dream and reality can differ, or so I have read.

"I wanted to ask you something, but you sidetracked me," I laughed, trying to keep the conversation light, she couldn't of course know, that I watch her sleep.

"Do you have multiple personality disorder?" she asked, frowning. She was serious, she really wondered if that was the case. To me my moods were well thought out, and planned, to her they were fast, vicious.

"You're doing it again." I pointed out, avoiding her question.

She sighed, giving in, "Fine then. What do you want to ask?"

This was where I could have some fun, and I tried to keep the humor out of my voice as I continued.

"I was wondering," I started, taking a leaf out of Eric's book, "if, a week from Saturday – you know, the day of the spring dance –"

"Are you trying to be funny?" she interrupted me, flinging herself round and looking up so I could at last look into her eyes, I saw my own amused expression reflected, but if I looked past that I could see anger, irritation, but something else, something more.

"Will you please allow me to finish?"

She bit her lip, and then clasped her hands together, was she considering hitting something? That was odd. I didn't have her written down as a violent person.

"I heard you were going to Seattle that day, and I was wondering if you wanted a ride."

I watched as shock crossed her face, surprise lit her eyes. Part of me, the part that begged for Bella's safety wanted her to refuse, wanted for her to say no, and yet the other part, the more selfish part of me, the part that craved Bella's company wanted her to say yes, more than anything.

"What?" she asked, as though she hadn't heard.

"Do you want a ride to Seattle?"

"With who?" she asked, I really had placed a bad impression upon myself, I would have to do a lot to sort this out.

"Myself, obviously." I said slowly, as though, part still hoping she would feel the danger.

She was still surprised; I could see that, it was etched across her face.

"Why?"

I chose this moment to make the conversation light again, and the best way was to tease her, so I chose the easiest thing.

"Well, I was planning to go to Seattle in the next few weeks, and, to be honest, I'm not sure if your truck can make it."

"My truck works just fine, thank you very much for your concern." She replied, and she started walking again, but she wasn't as angry, I took this as a good sign.

She wasn't going to say yes, I could see it… she was too angry. I was ruining it; I had ruined my chances because I was too big-headed and thought I could stay away from this beautiful creature.

"But can your truck make it there on one tank of gas?" I replied, not sure of why I was carrying on, but keeping pace with her again.

"I don't see how it's any of your business."

Immediately I saw the loophole, but would she take it? Would she say yes? Please let her say yes. Thinking of a day with Bella outside of school was just incredible.

"The wasting of finite resources is everyone's business."

"Honestly, Edward." She trilled, and I thought I heard her voice rose slightly as she said my name, but I could have imagined it. "I can't keep up with you. I thought you didn't want to be my friend."

She stopped walking to look at me again, under the shelter of the cafeteria, I was desperate to make this clear to her, to make her see she should run from me as far and as fast as she could, but I wanted her to stay all the same, stay as close to me and for as long as possible.

"I said it would be better if we weren't friends, not that I didn't want to be."

Friends were good, right? Better than not being friends, not as good as other relationships, but… I had to stop; I couldn't really think past there, I didn't even know if I could manage a friendship with Bella.

"Oh, thanks, now that's all cleared up." She responded with sarcasm and I almost grimaced.

"It would be more… prudent for you not to be my friend," I explained, "But I'm tired of trying to stay away from you Bella."

As I watched her reaction she looked at me, I was far too intense than I should be, but she didn't seem to mind, she was looking at me, with her wide eyes, her lips slightly parted.

"Will you go with me to Seattle?" I asked, unable to get the intense edge off my voice.

She only nodded, and I smiled, but then I became serious again,

"You really should stay away from me," I said, warning her again, "I'll see you in class."

I turned to walk away, and as I did I realized that Bella, Isabella Swan, had said yes to me… yes! I was going to Seattle with her, and… then it dawned on me; the challenge that I had just organized, Bella Swan, alone, her scent all around me in the small confines of the car and the long drive to Seattle.

I would not think about it now, because I was ecstatic, Bella had said yes to me!