CHAPTER 3 - Philosophy
Later that day, when Bonnie had gone outside to play on the porch, taking Buttercup and Bullseye with her, Woody sought out Jessie. He found her up on the shelves next to the desk, giggling with Dolly about something. When he got closer he discovered the two girls were swapping accessories - Dolly was wearing Jessie's red hat, and Jessie had Dolly's big yellow button pinned over her chest.
"Howdy cowboy," Jessie greeted Woody, and he smiled at her, settling himself on the shelf besides them.
"Hey Woody." Dolly turned and smiled at him, shuffling over and reaching for his badge. She deftly unpinned it with her cloth fingers and replaced it with her diamond shaped blue button, and put on his sheriff badge. "Well it appears there's a new sheriff in town" she declared with a smile, and hopped off the shelf before Woody could stop her.
"Yeee-hawww!" Jessie called after her, and was about to jump down after her when Woody stopped her.
"Hey Jess, I'm glad I caught you alone. Would you mind if I asked you a favour?"
"Well sure, Woody. Name it." Jessie looked at him curiously. "As long as it doesn't involve insects or dark places." She added to herself.
"Well, seems Buzz is a bit cut up over this morning when we found him...asleep." Woody looked away checking no one else was about. "See, he finds it embarrassing that you caught him...thumb sucking. And he thought maybe you might think...well, not as much of him, after all he does have this reputation to uphold and everything."
The mere mention of the incident that morning caused Jessie to giggle quietly. "He did look so silly, Woody," she giggled. "But I don't think any less of him. I bet I do some stupid stuff when I sleep. I know I've kicked Bullseye once...I don't hold it against Buzz for...that." She giggled again.
"Yes, well, you might not hold it against him, but Buzz holds it against himself. Maybe you should go talk to him. Smooth things over. Boost his ego."
"Oh geez Woody, I don't know..." Jessie fiddled with her braid.
"Please Jessie? You did say yes to doing me a favour... I promise I'll owe you." He added, as a afterthought.
"Oh alright, twist my arm," Jessie sighed. Internally she felt a knot form in her stomach. The last few days had been so nice, without pressure. And now she had started to find her feelings for Buzz strengthening, a small task like this, that would once have been nothing at all, seemed like a huge mountain to climb. Without another word to Woody, she slipped down off the shelf and went in search of Buzz for the second time that day.
She found the space toy under the bed reading a book aloud to the three aliens, and Mr and Mrs Potatohead. One of the aliens was asleep in Mrs Potatoheads lap and the other two were sprawled, also asleep at the feet of Mr Potatohead.
Jessie noticed the title of the book "Aliens Love Underpants" and chuckled faintly. Buzz stopped reading and looked over at the sound of her laughing, and then looked across at Mr and Mrs Potatohead, who were by now covering the aliens with socks, to act as blankets, and tiptoeing away. Buzz rose from the Lego bricks he'd been sitting on and quietly shut the book, placing it on the floor. He moved over towards Jessie, who felt her face flush. "What is it?" He asked, noticing her serious gaze.
"Buzz, I need to talk with you," despite her emotions starting to rise on seeing him so close to her, Jessie grabbed his hand and led him over to the edge of the bed, and noticing the door to Bonnies room was slightly open, led him outside.
"Jessie, what are we doing, unhand me at once, we'll be caught," Buzz hissed, and Jessie stopped. "We won't get caught! Bonnie goes outside to play at 11am every day, then she goes to playschool, where her mom works, until they close at like 3pm." She stopped. "Buzz, I need to talk to you about this morning." Buzz groaned.
"Please Jessie, Woody's already been over this with me, I have a problem, apparently."
"A problem?" Jessie raised a eyebrow and looked at him, shifting her weight onto her right hip.
"Yeah, a problem with, well..." Buzz looked down and at the same moment noticing Jessie was still holding his hand. He blinked and coughed, retracting his hand. Jessie squeaked, not having noticed their hands were joined until Buzz had withdrawn his. There was a long pause before Buzz recovered enough to continue. " I was talking to Woody this morning about how I realise exactly what it is to be a toy."
"Oh?" Jessie asked. She was mildly curious about this philosophy that Buzz seemed to be about to lay on her.
"Yeah," Buzz rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. "See, the thing is, Jessie, there comes a point in every toy's life where they never know if they are going to last forever or get thrown in the trash or put in the attic, or perhaps even get broken. Or go to a yard sale...or..." he noticed Jessie's face as he reeled off the list of possible fatalities.
"Or get put into storage, I know." Jessie added dryly, stifling the choking sob in her throat.
"Or storage," Buzz agreed blandly. "The thing is Jessie, I'm made of plastic. I can break at any point. I mean, when Woody ripped his arm, we never knew if he was coming back or not. When we were being tossed about in the day care centre, there was no knowing if we were going to make it out in one piece, but we did. We could have been incinerated, even broken under tons of rubbish in the dump truck." He paused again. "I just don't want to go out knowing I made nothing of myself, that no one has a memory of me."
"So...what are you saying Buzz?" Jessie prodded gently.
"I'm saying I'd like something special, that's all. Like...what Woody and Bo had."
Jessie blinked. "You want a relationship?" She suddenly felt jittery, but forced herself to remain calm.
"Not a relationship as such, just...I've always been a protector , a fighter. I want something...someone to fight for."
Jessie nodded solemnly, her heart in her throat.
"Does that sound like mush to you," Buzz asked.
"No." Jessie looked at him, her eyes shining.
"Really? 'Cos it sounds like mush to me." Buzz confided, with a wistful smile.
"Well then, space boy, you better go out there and find someone to protect, hadn't you," Jessie encouraged him. "Please pick me," she added to herself.