CHAPTER 7 – Ponderings
"The air filled with jasmine, the breeze blows with passion, you and me dance with desire, the moon is on fire, imagine..." - 'Won't Leave You Lonely'; Shania Twain.
She couldn't sleep again. Jessie pulled herself upright and glanced around at the sleeping toys. The time on the clock read 2.43am. She'd only been asleep a few short hours. Rubbing her eyes, Jessie yawned. Time to go and ponder the night lit garden again, she supposed, lowering herself down the side of the bed with the blanket, leaving Woody sleeping in place.
She used the edge of the desk chair to haul herself up to the desktop, and slowly plodded over to the window. It had been left open a little, so Jessie was able to fit herself comfortably into the gap that remained. She stared up at the moon, in rapture of it, for it was a clear night, and the moon was full and glowing down at her. The garden below her was well lit too, she could see every detail of the flowers and shrubbery that Bonnie's mother looked after so tirelessly.
She leaned back against the side of the window, and glanced around into the room to make sure everything was still. She was about to turn her attention back to the moon again when a reflection caught her eye. She looked up and saw Buzz on the shelf not so far above her, his helmet (the cause of said reflection) was closed and he was fast asleep against a pile of books there. She was somewhat glad to see him, after he had so frantically escaped her gaze earlier. There she had been, worried sick he didn't care for her, and then suddenly he had approached her and told her...what had his exact words been...?
"You mean a lot...the world to me," she breathed to herself. She realised she'd been feeling exactly the same. So why had he run off? Wasn't it blatantly obvious she cared for him too?
The sound of birds chirping made her awake with a start. Jessie glanced around her hurriedly and realised she must have dozed off while watching the moon and stars, her brain pondering over the whole predicament with Buzz. As she picked herself back up to make her way back over to the bed, she didn't notice Buzz watching her from above.
Buzz had awoken a few minutes before Jessie had stirred, and had been surprised to see the cowgirl doll sitting on the window ledge. He thought he'd left her on the bed with Woody. He watched as she drew herself up and wandered back over to the bed, feeling rather sad that she was leaving him alone with his melancholy thoughts. He remembered the Pasodoble they'd performed, and sighed.. He remembered holding her slim frame in his arms. He remembered when they'd touched hands when sitting in the incinerator. He remembered the way she'd laid her head on his shoulder, and closed her eyes, and he had nestled with her. He dropped his head and sighed. What was wrong with him? Only the bright sunlight of the morning made him look up again. What should he tell her? That a stupid game had made him more aware? That he had realised she was the girl for him? That it wasn't just Spanish Buzz that was attracted to her?
"This is all such a mess," he muttered.
"What is?" the voice of Chuckles made him turn. The clown doll was approaching him from the end of the shelf, tight-lipped and non smiling.
"Nothing," Buzz said quietly.
"It's a girl, isn't it?" Chuckles said blandly. "I've seen you watching her the last half hour Buzz." When Buzz turned to look at the porcelain toy, the clown continued, "Well. Take my advice. Aint no good gonna come from you holding back."
"But I can't tell her how I feel," Buzz stalled.
"Why not? Aint like she's human. You can tell her exactly how you feel. Look, worst case scenario, she'll turn you down. But that ain't gonna happen."
"How can you be so sure, china breath?" Buzz asked tersely. The clown's logic was starting to get to him.
"Cos you two came in here and I haven't seen you not stare at each other ever since that Spanish dance of yours. And believe me, I saw her staring at you last night. These eyes," he pointed to himself, "they never close. I see everything. I saw her last night, looking for you when she realised you were missing."
"She was looking for me?" Buzz asked.
"Sure, astronut. And she's been moping around ever since you walked away at the staff meeting. Kid thinks you don't care for her."
"Oh please, like I stand a chance."
"You stand more chance with her than anyone else in this room, trust me. Considering," Chuckles gave a hollow laugh, "most of us here are either the male variety or else the wrong species." Buzz shrugged. Chuckles regarded him for a moment. "Well, that's all I have to say, Mr Lightyear. You think on it now. But remember, she's only over there." He indicated where Jessie had crawled back up onto the bed, and Buzz glanced across too. The cowgirl doll was lying on her back staring at the ceiling. Buzz's heart caught in his throat. She was a pretty toy, that was true. She had guts, and a sense of humour, and most of all...she adored him? That was a hard combination to follow.
Chuckles was right, he decided. He was going to tell Jessie – and he was going to tell her the truth.