A/N: AND NOW! MY FANMAIL!
Senyor Fier Mensheir: Joya doesn't have a young face because she's been in the Hidden Mist. Tsunade also isn't using an illusion, she's using her natural chakra flow to make her body look younger by revitalizing herself. Joya uses drugs and enhancers to keep her body young. The side effect was her face would continue to age.
Karol, Faisolz, and Zhou-Mak: Pairings are fickle things with me. I want it to be known that I have plans for later chapters but not all are set. I may do a prelim Pairing list, but after the next two chapters all pairs will be revealed. Whne they are I'll make it official with a list on the first chapter.
Neon-Gensis Fan: voice of Ed from Coweboy bebop what's beta?
Chapter 3
Plans and Plans and Plans
The next morning was relatively calm. No one woke up and found they had been sleeping with someone they didn't expect. All in all it would be a good day. Uzumaki Naruto thought so as he sat up and yawned. He looked at his new bedmate and saw she had rolled into a ball and pushed as close to him as possible. He smiled and looked at her whiskers.
A mischievous smile came to his lips and he bent down and blew on them. He saw a shudder run down her spin and blush form on her cheeks. Her eyes opened and she looked at him. "Morning," he smiled.
She smiled back and yawned. Naruto sat up and went to scratch his side when he felt her nails there instead. He purred. She sat up with him and turned her back to his. He scratched it right where she couldn't reach.
When they had gotten each other they both sat up and threw off their clothes. Naruto threw her one her own t-shirts while he put on a clean pair of boxers and some of his normal pants, she did the same.
"You have your own underwear…" he grunted watching her take his.
"Yes?" she asked.
Naruto threw up his hands and went into the bathroom to put his deodorant on while Yui went to make breakfast. Naruto came out pulling a shirt over his head just as she finished the eggs. He scooped them onto a loaf of wheat toast and curled it into a burrito.
"Hey Yui-chan…"
"Yes Naruto-sama?"
"Let's see if we can get Tsunade-bachan to approve the move today," he said.
"Why?"
"Well the sooner we move in the sooner we can have a house warming party!" explained the yellow blonde.
"A party?" she tilted her head (1).
"Yeah! I want you to meet everyone here I care about! Since our place is so big we can have everyone come." Yui looked at him with an unreadable emotion. "Kiba, Fuzzy eyebrows, Shino, Neji, Shikamaru, Chouji. Hell Anko, Kakashi, Gai, everyone!"
Yui rubbed her arm, "Uh Naruto-sama…I don't…" he stopped her with a brisk gesture.
"Not comfortable around a lot of people?" she nodded shyly. "I understand. It was hell when I just held the demon…I bet it wasn't that much better being part one right?"
"Yes. But Joya-sensei protected me and mother loved me."
He smiled as he thought of Iruka. "Why not just a few people? You can meet them when we invite them and if you feel okay around them we invite everyone?"
Yui thought for a moment. When she saw he really wanted her to meet his friends, but was leaving it up to her, she smiled and nodded her head vigorously.
"Okay. Let's get ready and head out to see Tsunade-bachan!" he said as he finished his egg/what burrito. Yui nodded and scooped hers down her mouth from her plate.
For the first time in her life, she was excited to meet new people.
Because they had accepted him, and she was beneath him.
Tsunade yawned as she looked at yet another stack of paper work. Her eyebrow twitched. Half of it was taken away and she saw Joya, working at a now slightly crumpled desk, doing it as well. Tsunade felt a little bit of relief and thanks wash over her.
Ever since last night Joya had dropped her perverted actions and words and had gotten down to work. Tsunade didn't miss the fact that most of the papers she did were related to Yui or Naruto in some way. When Tsunade had taken a break earlier to order some breakfast she had asked about it. Joya had smiled, leaned back in her chair and said 'A mommy always looks out for the men her daughter love.'
She smiled imagining Joya as a mother. Then a thought popped into her head, "Hey Joya."
"Yes by lovely Mune-hime?" Tsunade let that one go.
"You said you were like Yui's mother?"
"Yep."
"Did you…"
Joya looked at her behind her veil, "I did everything."
"Even…?
"Let me put it this way, I knew before anyone else that Yui had begun teething," she said. Joya winced and rubbed one of her small breasts before going back to work. "Those were the days…" she said with a bit of melancholy.
Tsunade blinked. "I never thought you of all people would be a mother."
"Neither did I. Well I once heard that when you die what was going to happen to you changes to the opposite. So maybe when I was captured it triggered me to become a woman loving single mother…eh who knows?" she asked raising one hand in the air as 'there you are.'
Shizune entered and bowed to Tsunade, "Tsunade-sama Naruto-kun and Yui-san are here to see you."
Tsunade pulled out one of her sake bottles, "Let them in…" she rasped. Her head was already pounding.
"Hey Tsunade-bachan, Joya-bachan!" Naruto called entering the office. Yui bowed to her sensei and Tsunade.
"What is it and does involve something being blown up?" Tsunade asked, ignoring the pleasantries.
Naruto took a step back, "Uh yeah…we wanted to ask if you would hurry up and approve us for the move."
Joya, who was interested in anything that dealt with her Yui-chan turned around in her chair, "Why?"
"Naruto-sama wants to have a party so that I may meet his friends. I have meet some of them, and they seem to be nice."
Tsunade sighed and opened the drawer under her Sake drawer. She pulled out the scroll that would designate Naruto and Yui would use the building as if they owned it. She stamped the scroll with her personal seal and threw it to Naruto. He smiled and thanked her.
"Come on Yui-chan we need to get some supplies to pack all my stuff! And then we have to go out."
"Uh why Naruto-sama?" she asked.
"To buy you some more stuff!" he said happily as if that was the only answer. She blushed and nodded before following him out.
The three older kunoichi looked at each other and smiled. "They're so adorable aren't they?" Joya asked.
"Yeah…"
"It's been a while since Naruto has had a party," Kakashi said as he sat on Joya's desk.
"Yeah it has…AAAAAAAHHHH!" she screamed and leapt behind Tsunade. Kakashi blinked. "DAMN YOU HATAKE! You still do that?!" she screamed at him.
"Yeah,"
"Ugh…what do you want?" Joya sighed.
"That's my line Joya, I am only the Hokage after all…" Tsunade grunted. Joya nodded and took her place at Tsunade's left as if she had been there for years. Tsunade ignored her for now, "What do you want Kakashi?"
"Well I wanted to know what you were going to do about my team. With Sasuke…indisposed for a while…" he trailed off.
"Well…actually Kakashi I was thinking about disbanding team seven." He raised his visible eyebrow, "I know you're partial to Naruto and Sakura but since Yui has arrived we'll need Naruto to watch over her and help her get adjusted. Sakura's been pushing to become a Medic team captain and I have about twenty S-rank missions their skills would hinder you on.
"So you see why I've been thinking it over."
Kakashi took out Make-out Resort (2) "Well yeah…but you aren't going to just have Naruto and that girl on a mission are you? I mean he has surpassed me and all, but there is the fact he is Naruto."
"I know. I've been trying to think who would be best to teach Naruto and Yui. But since Joya's been keeping her damn mouth shut about what Yui can do…"
Kakashi nodded. He understood Team 7 was dead, it was dead before Sai started stalking Naruto. Those were the funniest days of his life. The first time Naruto woke up with Sai in his sleeping bag was the most hilarious thing Kakashi had ever seen.
He still had the recording of it on his Nin-Pod.
"So I guess I should get going on a new mission eh?" he asked.
Tsunade shook her head, "No. You can break the news to Naruto and Sakura at your next team meeting. When you do, be sure Sakura keeps a stable head. I think we all remember what happened to the ramen bar girl…"
All three Konoha ninja sighed and looked as if they had been punched in the arm.
Joya looked at them all, "What? What happened?"
"Two years ago Sakura and Ino thought Ayame, the daughter of Ichiraku the ramen maker, was seducing Naruto. They…well…Sakura knocked her out and Ino took over her body. Ino stripped her and posed her with ingeniously placed Ramen noodles and bowls and posted the pictures all over the village. The poor girl just started going back outside." Tsunade lowered her head, "And I thought Ibiki was a master of mental torture…"
Joya pictured it. Joya-san…do you want my special ramen flavor? I'm sorry but I only have this hot and tight pink bowl…Put those away, you don't need chopsticks…
Tsunade watched as Joya's veil turned blood red (ha, ha!). Joya quickly pulled it off, wiped her nose, put two tissues in it, and put on a new mask before anyone could see her horribly wrinkled face.
"What? I didn't do anything," she said. She looked at the clock. "I'm hungry! Who's with me for some ramen?"
"I AM!" Shizune screamed raising her hand. Tsunade gaped at her when she saw her assistant had a nose bleed as well.
Oh my god…my assistant is a lesbian…
"LET'S GO!" Joya and Shizune ran off. Kakashi looked from the trail of dust to Tsunade, who had turned to watch the two women run to the Ramen bar.
"When did my life get so weird?"
"Gono-kun asked himself that…" Kakashi muttered.
"What?" Tsunade asked looking at him.
"Gono-kun…he's the main character in Make-Out Ranch (3)."
"And what was his answer?"
He pulled out a second orange book and went to a page that had a red post-it note on the page. He scanned it and then looked back at her, "Well it really started when Kanaan-chan showed up in a cowgirl outfit with ass-less chaps and a big vib-"
"NEVER MIND!"
Tsunade was very glad she had a sake bottle in her hand.
Joya and Shizune sat happily in the Ramen bar. Ichiraku-Jiisan was happy. It was better than the slobbering dogs that only came around thinking his daughter wore a noodle G-string to work! At least these fine ladies had no sexual interest in his daughter what-so-ever!
Let's not ruin his dreams shall we?
Naruto, who had worn a blindfold to Ichiraku for weeks afterward walked up and plopped a seat away from Joya so Yui could sit between them. "How did you two get here before us?" he asked.
"We heard about how warm, supple, and delicious Ichiraku is. And I wanted to make sure it hasn't changed," she explained. Naruto smiled as he got an egg for free. He chirped like a lark as he started slurping. Joya eyed him and then tapped her fingers against the bar.
Little did our titular hero know it was code she had developed with Yui so none of the Mist Nin who followed them knew what they talked about.
So…did he do it?
Yui took a breath and kicked her feet against the ground, Did what?
You know what. Did he make you his little foxy girl?
No Joya-sensei. He did not make me his foxy girl. Where do you get these ideas?
From the fact your hand moves toward either his dick or his thigh every few minutes. You saw it at least.
We bathe together and share a bed.
Hot damn. Fill me in girl.
Naruto-sama is very attractive.
Yes. Now tell me what I want to know.
He has well define muscles. Also I noticed he keeps his chest and face shaved to-
That's good Yui, now tell mama what she needs to know.
He keeps his tan even by-
HIS PENIS DAMMIT! TELL ME ABOUT HIS PENIS! Based upon this Joya's chopsticks shattered against the bar. Shizune and Naruto looked at her. S looked from both of them and laughed nervously, "Sorry…I'm really hungry." She took another pair and they went back to eating. Tell me…
Yui tapped her heels against the ground twenty-five times. Joya straightened up and yawned arching her back. Yui bent forward so her body was very limp.
"Joya-san, your nose is bleeding," Shizune informed her. Joya had to change her mask for the second time that day.
You lucky little…Joya tapped before her ramen was delivered. She took out a sake bottle and poured it into the soup and then ate. This village has made me lose more blood in two days, than in five years as a freaking ANBU!
When they were finished eating Joya and Shizune headed back to Tsunade's office with a fresh bowl for the Hokage while Naruto and Yui went toward the packing store.
"How many boxes will we need?" she asked
"Well I don't have that much…let's get about ten medium boxes and maybe two big ones. Since most of your stuff is still in your bags we don't have to worry about that right?" he asked. She nodded.
"Ah here it is…" Naruto said looking up at the Nin-Haul. They walked in and the guy at the counter nodded. Naruto was a bit surprised. Yes Yui and he had glaring differences but at first glance they could be twins. Thinking of twins made him look her over. "Hey Yui-chan?" she looked at him. "How old are you?"
"Oh, I'll turn twenty-one on the tenth of October this year," she explained.
"Your birthday is ten, ten?" he asked.
She nodded as she looked at different kinds of packing tape she stopped and looked back at him. "It's yours too?"
"Man this keeps getting weirder and weirder…" he whispered as he helped her carry the boxes to check out. When they had paid and left Naruto heard something that made hime wince.
"NARUTO-KUN! WHAT A BEAUTIFUL YOUTHFUL DAY IT IS ISN'T!"
Goddammit! "Hey Fuzzy Eyebrows!" Yui watched as Naruto's face went from anger, to frustration, to amusement in an amazingly fast sequence.
Lee stopped in front of them and gave a salute. "Hello Naruto-kun! Oh is this Yui-san I heard about from my youthful comrade Tenten-san?" he asked.
"Yeah, Lee this is Yui, my retainer, and Yui this Lee-"
"The green beast of Konoha! It is an honor to mee you-Eh? What is the matter Yui-san?"
Yui shuddered as they moved…they moved. They couldn't be real. No way could they be real. They were too big to be real. She watched as one bent like an arm or leg and rose over one of Lee's round eyes.
"N-Naruto…his…his eyebrows…" she stuttered holding the bags of tape and packing peanuts close to her chest.
"Uh…yeah. You'll get used to them…"
"No…no I won't."
"Lee hey we're gonna get going now because we have to pack…"
Lee looked at him, "Pack?"
"Yeah me and Yui live together and we're moving into a bigger house."
"Live together?" Lee asked.
"Yeah…uh…Lee?" Naruto suddenly felt very afraid. He knew that look. He had five seconds maybe. "Yui-chan…"
"Yes Naruto-sama?"
"RUN!"
Naruto tore ass away from Lee and Yui followed. As soon as Lee was out of their sight they heard it. "LIVING IN SIN?! THE UN-YOUTH! THE UN-YOUTH! I SHALL CORRECT THIS!"
"Dammit! Yui do you know genjutsu?" Naruto called back.
"I don't know any simple ones why?"
"Dammit…there's only one chance. Hurry Yui-chan he's coming!" she looked behind her and saw Lee, his eyes blazing like flames.
"NARUTO-KUN! LIVING WITH A YOUNG WOMAN YOU BARELY KNOW IS THE EPITOME OF UN-YOUTH! I SHALL NOT ALLOW YOU TO BE TEMPTED BY UNYOUTHFUL THOUGHTS OF LUST!"
"He's like some sort of…of…"
"Beast? Yeah that describes Lee alright…THERE!" Naruto said pointing to an electronics store.
"What will help us in there?" Yui asked as Naruto made a clone and sent him in.
"A mega phone!" Yui raised an eyebrow.
"Only one person in this entire village can distract Lee away from someone else's youth and that's his all-time rival, the angstiest bastard in Konoha…HYUUGA NEJI!"
"WACHOO!" the prodigy in question sneezed. He rubbed his nose and looked down at the scroll he had been working. Sighing he threw the mucus covered paper away.
"Someone's talking about you Neji-niichan!" Hanabi said as she put her head on his shoulder. The younger of the two Hyuuga heiresses watched as Neji took out another scroll and began to write.
"Hanabi-sama should you not be learning tea ceremonies with Hinata-sama?" he asked as he dipped his pen in an inkwell.
"Well we were before Hinata started taking maintenance on her private areas…"
Neji scratched a hole in the scroll, "Her what!" he asked.
"Well you see Naruto's living with this really cute girl right? and Sakura and Ino are going apeshit over it. Remember the ramen bar girl?"
Oh Neji remembered. The hidden compartment with Byakugan blocking charms under his bed made sure he never forgot! He nodded.
"Well they're acting like they did before that. Anyway Temari-san said Naruto should discipline them and Hinata's been acting weird ever since."
"Do you follow her around or something?" he asked as he tried to find yet another scroll.
"Only when you aren't trying to make out with your girlfriend!"
He knocked his well over. Cursing under his breath he decided to quit trying to do the scroll when other people were awake. He stood up, effectively pushing Hanabi off of him, and walked to his door.
"If you're that bored we can see if Hiashi-sama will authorize a training session," Neji had to admit seeing Hanabi light up made him feel a little bit better about himself.
"THE UN-YOUTH! THE UN-YOUTH!"
"Oh son of a bitch," Neji hissed. Naruto landed right next to Neji panting followed by Yui. "Naruto…why are you…" he saw Yui and heard Lee. "Never mind. Why do you have a megaphone?"
"Naruto-kun!" Hinata screamed. Hanabi and Neji whirled to see her. she was obviously in her tea ceremony Kimono to teach Hanabi. She looked from him to herself and flushed crimson.
Naruto smiled, "Uh hey Hinata. I like the lotus on your dress…" she turned even redder and ran away. Naruto looked at Neji who merely shook his head. Naruto blinked and suddenly remember why he was here in the first place. "Hey Neji want to help me out?" Naruto asked.
"Is it like the time you accidentally blew up Hiashi-sama's koi pond? Because I am still banned from Hoshi Sushi."
"No, no! No explosions," yet, "I just need you to stand there and be pretty," he said smacking Neji's cheek.
"Don't touch me…"
"Hey Naruto…oh is this Yui-chan? She's cute!" Hanabi said as she followed Neji outside. Yui bowed to both of them. Then Lee's very weak chakra signature appeared and he flew into the air.
"NARUTO-KUN! COME INTO THE LIGHT OF SEPARATE LIVING ARRANGEMENTS!" Lee roared as he headed straight for Naruto.
Naruto quickly turned on the megaphone. "Lee! Neji just broke the time record for eating fifty plates of curry while doing the hoola! Isn't that right Neji?!" Naruto asked handing the phone to him.
The Hyuuga prodigy sighed. Motherfu... "Uh…Yeah…trained for days or something…"
Lee stopped in midair and landed softly instead of full body tackling Naruto. "I see…Naruto-kun…while I find your living arrangements, in the words of my beloved Gai-sensei, un-youthful as all get-out, I must go and defeat my rival Neji-kun! DO YOU UNDERSTAND NARUTO-KUN!"
"You don't need to yell Lee I'm right here…but yeah. You won't let me down if you go after your dream of the last four minutes or less…" he grabbed the megaphone and put it to Lee's ear, "Go Lee go! Explode for curry!"
"YES! I'M OFF!"
The explosion from Lee's rapid take off covered half the Hyuuga compound in dust and grass. Neji took a deep breath and looked at Naruto, "Well it's not as bad as the rubber balls…"
"Yeah…" Naruto and Neji rubbed their arms before shaking hands and heading out. Yui bowed to Hanabi and Neji before following her master.
"That was weird…" Hanabi said.
"The horrid thing is it has become routine for me. That was the fourth time this week alone."
"NARUTO-KUN!" Hinata screamed suddenly appearing at Neji's bedroom door. Her cousin and sister looked at her.
Neji's mouth fell open. He twitched for a second before falling over and causing dust to rise and settle on Hanabi, who was even more freaked out by what her sister was holding.
Hinata was holding in her hand a very large paddle. It had holes in it to apparently reduce air resistence. Hanabi could make out the words: Hinata's little helper written across the paddle itself. She blinked when she saw a chibi Naruto holding the paddle over a chibi Hinata.
She suddenly wondered why Hinata would think that would appeal to Naruto. He didn't seem like the kinky type to Hanabi, but hey who knew?
"Hinata…is…is that you?"
Hinata, obviously not realizing what she looked like or who she was talking to asked, "Where's Naruto-kun!"
"Uh he went home…why?"
"I've been a bad girl!" she screamed holding up the paddle. Hanabi felt her face flush. The younger sister turned suddenly after feeling a certain chakra signature.
"Oh no…Hinata! Run!" whispered the sister fiercely.
"Not until Naruto-kun gives me a spa-"
Her father's voice intervened, "Neji? Why are you on the ground boy?" The head of the Hyuuga clan walked up to his nephew and looked at him. He noticed Neji was pointing at his bedroom and he looked up. "Hinata what is that?" he asked as he tilted his head to read the paddle. "WHAT THE HELL?! HINATA! Why do you have that!"
Hinata grabbed her father's robes and pulled him close. "Father, I've been a bad girl…Naruto-kun isn't here to help me…will you do it?"
Hiashi had never have this happen in his life. "Hinata I…this is…Neji…well…"
"Father…" she activated her Byakugan and held up the paddle to his face. "SPANK ME!"
Naruto rubbed his eyes as he looked at all of the junk in his spare closet. Most of it was ninja weapons he had broken when he was training or trying out new techniques. He couldn't believe he had missed all this crap when he and Yui were cleaning.
"Hey Yui…where is my functional ninja stuff?"
She appeared at the end of the hallway, "I moved it all to the bedroom to be sorted. You have a summoning scroll we can use right?"
"Yeah but I think it's full…I'm not sure though," he said as he rubbed the back of his head. deciding he better check he pulled out of his spare gear bag at the top of the closet.
The sound of knocking, fierce, angry knocking, made Naruto look up. "Yui check it would you?"
"Yes Naruto-sama," she walked by the hall and went to the door. He heard it open. "Yes? Hello Tsunade-sama…would you like to come in?"
"Yes…yes I would…" Tsunade stomped in, her fists clenched, her jaw set forward like some kind of fish. She stalked down to Naruto and grabbed him around the neck. "Naruto…"
"Yes Tsunade-sama?" he saw that calling her granny would not be the best thing to do in this situation.
"Why is Hyuuga Hiashi screaming at me to kill you for corrupting his daughter?" the tone was what Naruto feared most in the world. Almost as much as…nope nothing scared him as much as Tsunade's voice when she was uber-pissed.
Naruto blinked, "What did I do now? What corruption?"
"It appears that Hinata has suddenly developed not only a spanking fetish but has deemed you to be the intended spanker. Why would she want that?"
"Why are you looking at me? Bondage videos scare me! Every time I see one I juts reminds me how much you like to punch me!" he said shaking free of her grip.
"So you say you didn't make Hinata believe you would give her…" Tsunade dug into her jacket sleeve and pulled out a scroll, "quote: 'Real discipline because her father doesn't have the balls to be her 'daddy'…'"
"Hinata said that?"
"Yes…" Tsunade said. "I haven't laughed that hard in years."
"I believe Hinata-hime has become obsessed," Yui explained.
"Girl you don't know the half of it," Tsunade said, "Joya is using a genjutsu right now to try and find out why she has that damn idea in her head. When she finds out we may be able to hypnotize her out of it…"
"But isn't there a chance the hypnosis could make her go into a berserker frenzy when faced with that same situation later on, due to the powerful conflicting mental forces?" Yui asked.
Tsunade looked at her, "No…not at all." I hope…
"Well if that's all Tsunade-bachan we have to pack before we get ready to move," Naruto said as he went back to looking at his gear.
"When will you two be moving in to the new building?" Tsunade asked.
"Maybe the day after tomorrow. Why?"
Tsunade nodded, "Well I want you to get together with Kakashi and Sakura after you are done packing. It has to do with Team 7. have a good day Naruto and try not to delude any more of your fan club," she said as she left.
"My what?"
"You know who I mean!" Tsunade called as she left the apartment and headed back to her office. When she arrived Hiashi was pacing back and forth. Neji had an icepack on his head and was mumbling about 'happy places.' "How is it?" she asked when she saw Joya looking into Hinata's eyes. Joya's golden orbs were flashing rythmically and Hinata was mumbling something incoherently.
"Well," the older ninja said blinking, to deactivate her illusion. Hinata swayed a little in her seat. "From what I can tell after a friend said Naruto should discipline those two girls, Ino and Sakura right? Hinata got the idea he did that to everyone. Everyone being any girl who likes him. And from there she tried to be the most submissive and the one ready for it anytime…
"Crazy huh?"
Tsunade remembered when she started drinking four glasses of milk a day because a certain pervy-hermit kept calling her 'flat chested Tsunade,' "Not so much…so what are you doing?"
"I've managed to convince her it was just a joke and she should not expect Naruto to just go and spank her in the middle of the day, no matter how bad a girl she's been. I have to say though if a guy she hooks up with in the future does want to give her a nice pat, even in passing, he'll be in for one hell of a crazy time…"
Hiashi, who Tsunade thanked god did not hear what Joya just said, appeared from the hall, "How is my daughter Tsunade-sama?"
Joya patted the dazed Hyuuga Heiress on the head, "Well she's still screwed up, confidence and all that, as she was before, but now she isn't sexually screwed up."
"Thank you Joya."
Yui slurped her noodles happily. It was later that same day and she was sitting in the bed room while Naruto and his clones put the boxes they had packed in the living room by the door for when they get ready to move out. She was taking a small ramen break, for she had become as addicted to it as he was in only a matter of days, before she went o packing his clothes in a suitcase.
As she finished she stood up and tossed the cup and plastic chopsticks into a trash bag hanging from the door handle. She opened the closet and gasped. It was all orange. Even the black clothes had orange on them. Everything. From pants to even his extra boxers were orange. She blinked. This couldn't be healthy.
"Naruto-sama?" she called.
"Yeah?" he answered.
"Why are all your clothes orange?"
"What other color would I have?" he asked back.
Yui sighed. Her master was eccentric. But at least she understood where he came from. She still held onto most of her old clothes, if they still fit. The ones loved most were almost white-washed orange. She smiled and began to take out the shirts. She put the T-shirts in one pile and the ones that had matching pants in another.
As she folded his clothes she saw how old some of them were. In one set of shirts she saw stretched seams at the shoulders and ripped holes on the elbows. She also saw what had to be training gear. Rips and tears along the arms and chest were from kunai or shuriken and there was a large rip in one shirt that seemed to have been made from a spinning force.
"Rasengan…" she whispered.
When she had packed his shirts, boxers, and pants in the three suitcases he had, they were so small was the problem, she went out into the living room and saw Naruto snoozing propped up against the couch. It was sweet to see him like that. She eyed the window and saw the sun had set a long time ago. She walked over to him and picked him up.
She took him to his bed room and set him down on the bed. He snorted and roll onto his side. Yui looked at Ko-chan, who was just gazing out into space as always, and went to take a bath. As she bathed she thought about what Naruto had said. These were people that were close to him.
When he wanted to get away from Evil-Brows he went straight to that Neji person. The young girl also knew him and knew me. these people care for him and he for them. Yes it will be good to live here. I wonder…will they care for me as much?
If they don't…will Naruto-sama abandon me?
Kakashi was flipping through the pages of Make-Out Tactics. He sighed. Once again the binding was coming undone. He would need to buy another one. He had the money, but this was the one Naruto had given him. It was sorta, almost, kind of special to him.
"Looks like you need a new book," Kakashi turned around and saw a large white haired man.
"Hey. I was wondering when you would get here. It's already gotten crazy," Kakashi said as the Toad-Hermit sat next to him on the building over looking Naruto's apartment.
"I know. I've been waiting for Joya to make her move on Tsunade. It's hard work getting people to open up to the people they love!" he said shrugging.
"There's a difference between being cupid and trying to see two women have lesbian sex," deadpanned the Copy-Nin.
Jiraya laughed. "Well actually I didn't come here for that. I came here to tell you to keep an eye on Naruto."
"What why? What did you do?"
"Nothing. That's the best part! Half the people in this village look at me and see a guy who manipulates almost every single sex related thing that goes on! While I have a monopoly on your generation and the one before you I have almost no standing with the young kids…"
"So what? You've made Naruto your successor?"
Jiraya smiled. "There's a reason I've been keeping a low profile here. When Naruto and that girl get settled I'll make my appearance."
Kakashi sighed. "You understand that if he fails…"
"Yes…if Naruto fails everyone will think I'm just a dirty old man."
"You are a dirty old man."
Jiraya stood up and Kakashi had the odd feeling he had seen that pose before. "WELL OF COURSE I AM! But at least people know I have the skills to back it up! Ask any of the hundreds of women I've shared a bed, futon, pool table, sleeping bag, or mechanical bull with if I have the skills! You know what they'll say?!" he asked pointing at Kakashi.
Mechanical bulls? Oh god bad image…"No what?"
"ORGASMS! MULTIPLE!"
"Do you have to scream it?"
"If Naruto cannot show people that he is a pimp in the sack, or susbstitute of sack, then my reputation will be shot and all those women will think I pulled a you and used genjutsu!"
Kakashi blinked at him. "It's not my fault they all pass out after seeing my face. The only woman to not have a pure orgasm and then faint from pleasure is Anko…"
Jiraya shuddered, "That woman is unnatural…" Kakashi suddenly got a devious idea. Jiraya saw the spark in his student's, student's eye. "What? I know that look Kakashi. You have an idea!"
"Yes…yes I do…and when I think about it, it makes me feel dirty and sad,"
Jiraya smiled. He knew that it was time. "I've been saving this…and you may feel dirty now wait until you've seen it…BEHOLD!" he pulled from his vest a shining book made of pure awesome.
Kakashi's eye widened. "Is…is that…"
"Yes…Make-Out Paradise The Second Coming volume three…advanced printing." He opened it, "Signed. Tell me this plan and it's all yours…"
Kakashi gulped. If he kept the plan to himself he would save Naruto a lot of grief and be able to keep things somewhat normal. If he told Jiraya Naruto would have to go through quite literally hell…
But it's an advanced printing!
I could never survive that…but Naruto is stronger than I am…
"Oh hell! Give it to me!"
Jiraya smiled and handed it over, "So?"
"Well you see Tsunade wants to disband Team 7. The reason being I'm needed for S-rank missions, Sakura wants a med-team of her own, and Naruto needs to be with Yui because of what she can teach him."
"But since Naruto has only been a jounin for a few years he still needs a commander on missions?"
"Exactly…so…you use your," he searched for the right word, "influence, to get a certain someone in charge of Naruto and Yui. And I'm sure this person will make things much more interesting."
Jiraya saw what he was talking about and widened his eyes. He smiled and looked at Naruto's snoring face. "Kakashi…have I ever told you I love you?"
Kakashi opened the book and read the first page. It was awesome. "Everyone loves me."
A/N: Hoohoo What could Kakashi be thinking? Well we shall see! I'm gflads so many of you have reviewed and are truely interested in this story and the plot! Thank you all so much!
Dictionary:
1 (Yui head Tilt): like Naruto's squint, but with less excitable reactions.
2 (Make-Out Resort): The Second book in Make-Out Paradise The Second Comming. It's the next trilogy that picks up after Make-Out Violence. It features the main character from Ranch trying to fulfill his promise to his best friend's girlfriend.
3 (Make-Out Ranch): The First book in Make-Out Paradise The Second Comming. It's the next trilogy that picks up after Make-Out Violence. A new Main character, Gono-kun, inheirits a cowgirl ranch from his uncle, the main character of the first Make-Out Trilogy.