A/N: Warning: This chapter contains post lemon action! You have been warned.
FAAAAAANMAAAAAILLLLL!
Action naruto lover and DragonMan 180: You are both sick little monkeys...and I love it! While I can say there will be lemons coming soon I won't spoil the big surprise that will come with the Party chapter.
HeWhoWalksTheEarth: I enjoy Lee's character as well. I like the fact you're so strong about him being portrayed as more than a Sambo (?). I'll try to keep his I'll try and make it only as funny as I need it to be.
Slaverevals: Send me an e-mail and I'll give you the pictures that made me thinkg of this story.
Zhou-Mak: I'm glad you enjoy this story. And yes I did make up the things about Make-Out Ranch and Resort. I have a little twist based on that for Kakashi.
Ryu no sendo tenshi: I don't know myself. I have a lot I want and can do with this story. I've been thinking of some things that would be applicable and not too over the top. If I ever get a set Idea I'll post it.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, but I love writing Naruto lemons, enjoy.
Chapter 4
Laying the Ground Work
Yamanaka Ino considered herself smart. She wasn't as intelligent as Shikamaru or even Kakashi but she did know stuff. One of the things she knew was her own heart. She knew getting Sasuke would feel hollow, especially when Sakura's feelings for him were genuine. Ino had a schoolgirl crush and was too deep into it to get out.
So that's why she was a little happy that he left, it gave her a chance to weigh her other options. One of them being her soon to be neighbor. Of course she would never say that out loud, even more so to Sakura.
Ino cared about Sakura deeply. It was a sisterly relationship that began with the red ribbon and had yet to end. She was happy to help her do all the little tricks and traps for the girls who got 'too close to Foxy' as Ino called him. Ino wondered sometimes why Sakura even put on the charade. Everyone knew she had a 'feeling' for Naruto.
Hell any woman with a pulse had one nowadays.
Ino looked into her mirror as she brushed her hair and saw an old picture. She and Sakura were young, barely able to enter the academy. Sakura was hiding behind Ino, smiling shyly. Ino saw it and knew her best friend was shy at heart, and very insecure about her body and sexuality.
While she didn't like to brag she was happy at the tender bust of 64 cm she had beat Sakura hands down. Whenever a trip to the beach came up Sakura would always make up some excuse not to go. She was concerned she would look too much like a tomboy against her fellow Kunoichi.
"Well it's not our fault Sakura didn't get the right titty genes," Ino sighed.
Thinking back she took a good look at Naruto and Yui. From what she could see Yui was on par with Hinata, the bustiest of their little quintet. She also had the rear and trim to match. Ino huffed. She stood up and grabbed the front of the loose nightshirt she was wearing pulling it taught over her own form.
She didn't want to admit it, but she was jealous of Yui. Naruto had shown to be a good ninja and a good man. Now after only two days she was closer to him than any of the little wannabes that chased him in the village. she was even closer than Sakura.
Even after all Sasuke did, all that happened between them and all that happened between him and Sakura he still fulfilled his promise.
He didn't bring the Uchiha boy back because of the village. He did it for Sakura. "And forehead takes advantage of that fact everyday!" Ino hissed.
She threw her brush down and gritted her teeth. It burned her up. It got under her skin. Why her. Sakura was the most stuck-up prissy bitch in Konoha. What made Naruto fall heads over heels for her? She didn't even treat him like a person until after Sasuke left.
Ino sighed. This wasn't how she should be thinking. She looked outside at the moon and then picked her brush back up. As she returned to working on her hair she wondered when the blond idiot had gotten under her skin. She had stayed up all night because of him and his retainer. Ino wondered if she even had a chance…
"Maybe I'm just a fool…" she sighed.
Haruno Sakura looked at her medical book. She grimaced when she read about some horrible disease caused by being punched in the kidneys once too many times. "Usually appears in wrestlers or other professional grapplers it is usually treated by a swift removal of the…" she closed the book and groaned.
She couldn't concentrate that well. She knew why. Naruto was at his house…with another woman!
It burned Sakura up like there was more than enough firewood. She hated feeling like this. She was first! He had chased her around for all those years. Why did it have to change. Did she do something wrong?
You mean before or after you treated him like shit on your shoe? Inner Sakura asked. She grunted and shoved the mental apparition away.
Naruto was by all rights hers. How dare any woman, especially those who knew them both, try and get in on that. It didn't matter that Sakura had never told Naruto she liked his company or how much she relied on his antics and his words to get her through the day. He knew she wasn't out going.
You were with Sasuke.
Dammit.
Even her fucking conscience was making fun of her. It didn't help when she and Ino did that to the Ramen bar girl. She had never seen Naruto that angry, at her none the less! Imagine! Naruto angry at her!
How could you do that Sakura?! What is wrong with you! What did she ever do to you? You know what…NO! I don't care! I want you to apologize to her right now Sakura!
Talking to her like she was a child! It was only a little joke. And he was so mad…and forceful…
Naruto had actually grabbed her arm and marched her down to the girl's home and made her and Ino apologize there on the street like two little girls. And ever since then, for the damndest reason Sakura's ass ached whenever she remembered him pulling her away. That, coupled with the feeling of being scolded by her parents, made her feel like she was, quite literally, a dog that had peed the carpet.
She was, mentally, Naruto's bitch.
Why did he make her feel like this?! Why did he seem to grow better and better each day and she only felt like that pathetic girl trying to hide her forehead with her bangs?
She rubbed it then. The bane of her life. Well that and her mosquito bump titties. She looked down at them and cursed. "Why are you so small? Naruto likes busty girls…" she said to them.
And how did she know this? Tsunade. Her mentor had told Sakura about how Naruto was grown into a man. Sakura asked why and Tsunade replied thusly: 'Because he looked at me today like a woman not his grandmother. If he looked any harder at my cleavage he would have fallen in.'
"You would have loved that wouldn't you Tsunade-sensei?" Who was Sakura fooling? Naruto nuzzling her chest would be fun too.
I wish Naruto would spank me Tenten says. "She doesn't even have the ass for it…looks like a slab of wood back there. But she does have breasts, big ones that…UGH!"
Sakura ran her fingers through her hair. She was obsessed with her lack of boobs and her friends' over abundance of them. It was what made her feel so insecure and childlike and told her what she had to do. She looked at her drawer and pulled out a scroll. It had been a birthday present from Tsunade. It contained in it a special jutsu only one person in all of Konoha had mastered.
And it was her trump card.
She had wasted so much time with Naruto. And even if it took hours and hours of hot monkey, dog, bull, and any other Zodiac animal sex there was to make up for it, she would have him.
He was her foxy man.
Meanwhile the blonde nin in question was looking at the floor-plan of his new home. He was trying to figure out what Yui and he would need to have a nice home. He was also, desperately, trying to find a spare bedroom for her. While sleeping with a very beautiful and devoted woman was good, he felt that things would get crazy if he didn't rectify the situation sometime soon.
Naruto had a feeling for crazy, especially considering he felt Jiraya was near, very near. He hated to think he had picked up some kind of 'Pervert Sensor' after living with that fool for so long. He shook.
I can tell when he's watching me. Naruto sighed. Is it arrogant to think he's only here to screw up my life?
"Are you okay Naruto-sama?" Yui asked. She set down some bacon, toast and jam. Naruto made himself a sandwich and ate it.
"Yeah. So we're almost packed right?"
"Yes all that is left is the couch and the other furniture. I believe we should go to the building and see if we have any obstacles in the way of the move."
"Go there? We may run into Ino."
"Yes she does work at the flower shop correct? Well is that so bad?"
"Yui-chan…let me tell you about Ayame-chan for a second."
As Naruto told what happened, Yui's mouth gaped. She heard everything, the Yamanaka family jutsu, the way Sakura mastered the Kage Bunshin no jutsu just to make copies of herself to distribute the pictures faster.
"What did you do?"
Naruto blushed and rubbed the back of his head. "Well they don't really remember…"
"Why not?"
"Well I felt so strongly about what they did, I went kind of crazy…"
"How crazy? Did it involve lubrication?" Naruto sputtered and looked at her. "I guess not…"
Is it just me or does she sound disappointed. "No…I took Sakura and Ino over my knee and spanked them."
Yui blinked. "You what?"
Naruto continued rubbing the back of his head, "I was really mad! It was mean what they did to Ayame and they didn't even have a real reason. So to make them apologize I spanked them. Like really hard."
"So why don't they remember?"
"Well Tsunade-bachan was really, really pissed at me for doing it and I felt really, really guilty. So she used a genjutsu on them and made them forget. When they're really old and they can't hurt me or I'm about to die I'll tell them what happened."
"But there's a chance they may remember before then?"
"Oh yeah. I pray everyday that something keeps them from looking in the mirror and remembering what I did. I can only imagine how pissed of they would be. One or the other would be bad, but both is like having the seven of the horsemen of the apocalypse on your ass."
"There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse Naruto-sama."
"Exactly."
She nodded realizing what he meant. "So what will you do?"
"Let's not talk about them. You can see what I mean later when we have the party…"
"Are you that uncomfortable around them Naruto-sama?"
"Well yeah."
"Why?"
"Sakura was my first crush. But we weren't meant to be I think. I saw her less and less as what I thought she was. I do love Sakura-chan. Nothing will change that, but…"
"You don't want to risk making her unhappy."
"Yeah. And Ino is weird. You and I are alike right?" She nodded. "Well it's the same with her. On a mission some guy thought we were brother and sister! I can have fun with her, I saw that on the same mission, but at the same time she does things just to get on my nerves!"
"Anyone else."
"What?"
"Is there any other girls like that?"
Naruto looked at her. "Three. Hinata, Temari, and Tenten. Hinata has had a crush on me since we were in the academy. Temari is one of the sexiest and strongest women I know that I can at least talk to. And Tenten…"
"Is just plain sexy?"
"It's creepy you said that, but yeah." He looked uncomfortable, "Yui…this may seem odd but I have to know…"
"Yes, Naruto-sama, I find women sexually attractive. Joya influenced me a little in that regard."
A little? I bet. That's like saying Tsunade influences some people to become MILF hunters. "Okay…now that that is out of the way I think we should not talk about this ever again. Ever."
"Why? What if I see a woman that I like? And I think you will like her as well?" he gaped at her. "We like the same kinds of food so-"
"NO!" Naruto said standing. When she looked at him like he was crazy he sat back down, "Yui, we're a lot a like, but I cannot see how women are related to food. I don't eat women. I don't cover women in noodles, put them in soup with an egg yolk and flavor them with miso or pork."
"Apparently Sakura-san does,"
Naruto glared at her, "Smart ass." Yui grinned. Naruto threw up his hands and shook his head, "Let's get past this. We do need to go check out the building. I just wanted to warn you about Ino."
"Naruto-sama I am not that weak. If they tried to do that to me if you did not approve I would kill them," her tone was so chilling Naruto could see it happening.
"How about you don't and just bring them to Tsunade-bachan? They're good girls they just have some crazy moments."
"All women have crazy moments when it comes to men they love." Naruto sputtered again. "They attacked a girl they barely knew and embarrassed her in such a way? Yes they were trying to get rid of the competition. I predict that soon they may turn on each other."
"Yui-chan that's horrible."
While Naruto did want to go see the new building he had promised Tsunade-bachan that they would meet up with Kakashi. So he and Yui headed for the normal meeting place of Team 7. the three log posts were so old by now Tsunade had been asked by some instructors to have them replaced. Sakura was there waiting as usual. She smiled when she saw Naruto, but it quickly turned into a frown when she saw Yui. Even more so when she saw Yui was in civilian clothes.
And Yui, because of her breast binding while in uniform, was much larger than he had been just yesterday. Sakura's eye twitched. Those…are big squishy titties…when did I get so crazy?
When you realized you were in love with a guy whose given up hope on going out with you. And when you didn't grow a centimeter since puberty.
"God dammit…" Sakura suddenly wished she had some of Tsunade's special medicine.
"Hey Sakura-chan!" Naruto called happily waving his hand.
Sakura felt herself grow a little more relaxed. While Sakura would have to resort to extremes to become his love muffin, she did love him. Yui and Naruto stopped next to her and Yui stepped forward.
She bowed and then rose with a kind smile, "Hello I am Noumaki Yui, Naruto-sama's retainer, I am glad to meet you Haruno Sakura, I have heard a lot about you," Yui said. Naruto gave her a glance. She looked back at him. She smiled.
"I'm…yeah meet you to," she said.
"Yo everyone." Kakashi appeared in a cloud of smoke. Naruto and Sakura gasped. "What?"
"YOU'RE ON TIME?!" Sakura and Naruto instantly forced him to sit down. Sakura drew a scroll and summoned a bag of medical tools and immediately began to examine him.
He disappeared and reappeared next to Yui. "I'm not sick. Today is just special. I'm afraid I'm announcing the disbanding of Team 7." Sakura and Naruto gasped again. "Sakura, you'll be transferred to the Medic division for your captain's training. Naruto, you and Yui are going to be given a new commander and put on higher ranked missions. Also I believe the commander will be chosen to teach you both new techniques you'll need for future promotions.
"I just wanted you two to know that I'm going to miss going on missions with you. Watching you grow has been one of the best times in my life. Also Naruto…"
"Yeah?" Naruto asked, he was obviously trying not to cry.
Should I tell him? If I do…he'll have advanced warning…Eh…Nah. He's a smart kid he'll deal with it. Besides Jiraya should be fixing things about now. "Never mind. I'll be sure to show up for your party. And Yui-chan," he said turning to his student's double. She looked at him. He saw her Mist-Ninja heritage flash a little in her eyes, "It was nice to meet you. Take care of the knucklehead for me.""Yes. I will Kakashi-san. It is an honor to meet the fabled Copy Ninja," she said. "I would like to ask before you go." He looked at her, obviously interested, "Have you taught Naruto Suiton (Water Element Jutsu)?" he nodded. "What was the highest technique he has learned. I wish to know where to start off on my lessons."
Kakashi thought back, "I think he mastered the Suigadan (Water Fang Bullet) last week. Oi Naruto! What was the last Suiton I taught you?"
Naruto thought for a second, "The Shockwave thing…where I make a lot of water?"
"Oh yeah…"
Yui was gape mouthed as she looked at Naruto and Kakashi. "That technique is…your chakra level must be incredible!"
"Yeah…ask him to show you the Tajuu Kage Bunshin no jutsu some time. Well I have to go take care of some things so I'll see you all later." And with that he slowly vanished in a flurry of leaves.
"So this is the end of Team 7…" Naruto whispered with a little bit of melancholy. He saw that Sakura had a slightly sad look on her face, "Hey don't cry Sakura-chan! This way you can finally be in charge of a medic team like you wanted! Tsunade-bachan will have to watch her back if she wants to stay the best Med-Nin in the Leaf soon eh?" he asked giving her a thumbs up.
Sakura's sadness left her. "You bet! Hey Naruto want to get something to eat?" she asked.
"Sorry Sakura-chan, Yui-chan and I are gonna eat with her sensei then check out our new house. You can come if you want?"
Sakura felt sick. She had forgotten Yui was there. The girl was so close to him now it was like a big barrier. A big breasty barrier. Our new house. He said. "No…I'm fine…I'll eat with Ino…or someone…"
"Alright!" Naruto nodded and turned toward Yui who was waiting for him. And Naruto left with Yui.
Sakura clenched her fists. Little hussy…I'll use it…I have to use it.
She fingered the scroll in her gear bag and prepared to work the hardest she ever had in her entire life. After all, Naruto was a truly insurmountable challenge.
And Sakura was going to be damned if she wasn't the first to mount him!
Ino looked at her best friend. "You're going to what?"
Sakura smirked and held up what appeared to be a very old and musty technique scroll, "I'm going to master this technique and win Naruto over once and for all."
Her tone made Ino bristle. For some reason Ino didn't like that Sakura was taking the initiative, but they were friends. And Sakura may be the dumbest smart girl Ino had ever met…but she was going to help if she could. "Hey…here's a really crazy idea Forehead…why not tell him you like him?"
Sakura took on the look Ino usually only saw on some kinds of monkeys. "That won't work."
Ino sighed and nearly fell over, "Why not?" Sakura arched her back and patted her bust, or lack thereof. "Forehead…even I know that Naruto won't care. Look! Just because you can serve small candies out of your tits doesn't mean Naruto won't at least go out with you. In fact there's a good chance he's tired of big breasts!"
"Men never get tired of big breasts…" Sakura said sadly.
You've got me there…"Okay so what does that technique do that will ensure you'll become Naruto's, excuse the pun, main squeeze?"
Sakura smiled. "I'll tell you if you agree to go along with me! I'll need your help getting that Yui girl out of the way!"
Ino's ass suddenly felt sore for some reason. She rubbed the soreness away and looked at Sakura, "I don't think so. I mean last time Naruto was really mad. That was for just messing with a girl who served him food! What do you think will happen if we try to do anything to her?"
Sakura lowered her head. "So even you're against me now Ino? Well then so be it! I'LL SHOW YOU! ALL OF YOU WITH YOUR GIANT MAMMARY GLANDS!"
Giant mammary glands? Girl has lost it"YOU'LL ALL SEE! YOU COW CHESTED BITCHES! MUAHAHAHAHA!"
And with that Haruno Sakura ran out of Konohagakure no Sato laughing. Ino stood at the door to her flower shop and watched her go.
Kakashi watched his only female student ran off. He sighed. "For some reason I don't think Tsunade gave her the scroll she thinks she does…" he looked at the pure awesome in his hand and looked toward the Hokage tower.
Jiraya you old motherfu…"You old bastard!" Joya said as Jiraya entered Tsunade's office. The oldest of the three ninja grabbed the Sannin's collar and shook him. "I WANT MY MONEY BACK!"
"Give me a minute to say hello first! Damn woman! Besides I have important business with Tsunade!" Joya let him go and grumbled as she went back to work.
Both of the Sannin noticed their friend was making violent large ugly 'X's instead of signing things now. Jiraya decided he better get down to business ad get the hell out before Joya realized he had taken a bit more than the hotel fees.
"Well…uh Tsunade I came here to suggest a new commander for Naruto and the girl."
"Barring the fact I don't want to know how you know about that…who is it?" Jiraya pulled out a slip of paper and gave it to her. Tsunade looked at it and crumpled the paper in her hand. She looked at Jiraya and said through clenched teeth, "Fuck…no…"
Jiraya snorted. "Hell…yes…"
Tsunade grunted, "Listen Jiraya…I know you feel strongly about how Naruto should be taught but I don't see how…this person…could possibly contribute to the future Hokage's mindset."
Jiraya sighed. He didn't want to do this. But he had to. Kakashi was a genius after all. And when a genius made a plan a few people had to be embarrassed before it would be appreciated.
"Tsunade…do you know how I taught Naruto about sex?" he asked.
"What the hell?"
"Do you know what I did to teach Naruto about sex?"
"Let him read your novels?" Joya suggested, now interested and slightly less angry.
"No. While I accept Naruto is a smart boy, he doesn't do so good with descriptions even as vivid as my own, it's better to show him if you know what I mean. So I used a media that left less to be pondered." Jiraya held up a small CD in a case.
Tsunade blinked. "You showed him a porn video? God Jiraya do you know how horrible you are?"
"Listen Tsunade, you may want to pay attention…this is a very important porn video. It was one I worked on for days to get it right. I've also had it touched up and made a little bit better with footage made after the fact."
"So what the hell does it have to do with me?"
Jiraya smiled, "It's kinda funny you ask that of all questions."
Tsunade suddenly turned pale. "You didn't."
"It's amazing what you can do with digital technology these days. I can bleep out names, do mosaics or censor bars on faces, add soundtracks…"
Tsunade took hold of her desk to steady herself. "You…you told me it was for personal use!" she screeched.
"Hey! Hey! Hey! I didn't charge him to watch it."
"Mune-hime…what is on that disc?"
Jiraya smiled as big as he good, "Tsunade and I have had two intimate encounters in our long and loving relationship. This video is the result of special mix and matching done of them. It makes Kunai Bangers 4, look like Smexy Mission Scrolls 8."
"Daaaaaamn…" Joya sighed. She eyed the disc like a man in the desert eyes water…
With a sexy naked chick in it.
"YOU USED A VIDEO OF ME TO TEACH NARUTO ABOUT SEX?!" Tsunade suddenly realized. "DO YOU KNOW HOW WRONG THAT IS! HE'S STARTED TO GIVE ME MOTHERS DAY PRESENTS JIRAYA! MOTHER'S DAY PRESENTS!" she screamed. She charged from her chair and grabbed Jiraya's collar. "ARE YOU SURE HE DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS ME! ARE YOU SURE!"
He nodded vigorously. "I made sure Tsunade! But I also made sure…" he revealed a second disc, this time the case was completely black, "to make an uncensored version. Just for occasions like this."
"You wouldn't dare…" she hissed at him.
He smiled, "You know me better than that Tsunade!" The lighthearted face fell and he became very serious. "It's already in Naruto's DVD player. All I have to do is turn his building's power back on and he goes straight to hour five, minute fifteen, second three…"
Tsunade shook very badly. "Not…you…why are you so evil…"
"I only do what I must!" he said smiling. She let him go and stalked back to her desk. She sat down and began to write on a scroll.
"I hate you Jiraya,"
In complete unison Joya and Jiraya said, "I love your ass!"
She broke her fountain pen. "I'll do it…but now I would like a little time alone with the only one who really loves me!" she said as she pulled out and Igloo cooler. "Go…leave me and my ass alone…" she said as she took out a large mug.
"We'll see you later Tsunade-hime!" Jiraya said as he and Joya exited as fast as they could. "Why are you following me?" Jiraya asked as he stopped on top of a building at the base of the Hokage Monument.
"You know why Ero-Sannin."
Jiraya winced, He's still calling me that around people? Damn brat I bleed and bleed for him and he never shows me any respect…"Oh…this?" he asked wagging the black case.
"Oh yes…" Joya was almost drooling.
"You know the usually price…"
Joya snapped out of it. She held her elbow and tapped her fingers against it. "And that includes?" He looked at her. "I know you Jiraya. The last time we had a deal like this I learned how to use a few ninja tools I never heard of before. So has the price gone up?"
He tapped the disc, "I'll have you know that I was not thinking of anything past our usual transactions. But since this is a desired item…"
"Ugh fine let's get it over with!"
Jiraya blinked. "What?"
"Do you know how long it has been?! I could care less if it was with a half flaccid accountant nerd! At least you have some experience."
Jiraya tensed up and actually looked angry, "I'll have you know-"
"Blah, blah, blah. Let's go," Joya grabbed Jiraya's collar and dragged him off. for once in his life, Jiraya wasn't scared of a woman because she wanted to hurt him.
This won't end well…Jiraya was wrong.
It ended very well.
Joya panted. She was on her hands and knees. Her toes were curled under her feet, pulling the sheets into a bunch. As Jiraya finished she clenched her hands and knotted up the sheets even more. Her silver hair was plastered to her face, her mask tied tightly to prevent it from sliding off.
She felt his thrusts slow; the oddly satisfying feeling of being filled entered her. Jiraya's hands, which had been grasping her hips just hard enough, let go and slid up her back and massaged her shoulders. He set his knees down and adjusted his position to take up a neutral pose as he finished.
Jiraya let himself fall forward and put his weight on her back. She tried to buck him off but he merely smacked her rear with one hand and tweaked her nipple with the other. She cooed and let him stay. He moved his hands around to her perky breasts and squeezed them hard.
"Ooh…so rough Jiraya-sama." Joya sighed when Jiraya got up and removed himself. He sat back against the hotel bed's headboard.
"I'm rough? What about these?" he asked pointing to his shoulders. She saw the deep bite marks on them and she grinned evilly.
"Well if you were gentler I wouldn't need the extra grip Jiraya-sama."
Jiraya ignored her retort and bent over the side of the bed. She watched him, sitting like a cat, as he revealed the DVD. She squealed and happily took it from him. She kissed his cheek and hurried to the Television and player provided.
"You're going to watch it now? And people call me a horny bastard," he snorted. She grinned again as she switched the channel to watch it. "Hey take that mask off already it's getting annoying. Knowing you we'll be doing it again before the first few minutes are up."
"Aw…does Jiraya-sama not fear my hideous face?" she asked as she picked up the remote and sat down at the edge of the bed. Jiraya growled and grabbed the hair at the base of her neck. "Hey! Let go!" he ripped her hair, her face, and the veil off in one swift motion.
Joya glared at him with her golden eyes. Her face was as wrinkled as Sakura's. She stuck her tongue out at him. He examined her mask and nodded approvingly, "Wow…this is a complete cover all prosthetic…old school." He looked at her. "I wondered why your 'Special Mist Drugs' kept your body young, fit and sexy but left your face to rot."
Joya looked away from her current sex partner and regarded the screen, "You did an interactive menu?" she asked. He shrugged. "Well yeah I wasn't allowed out of the village, even after I became an advisor to the Mizukage so I had to have a trump card. Since it was a mask I didn't have an abnormal chakra signature and I could take it off if I needed ingredients for Yui's medicines."
"She does have something wrong with her?"
"She did before we got the seal right."
"Seal?"
Joya used the remote to shuffle through the scenes. "Dammit! Why didn't you add pictures too!"
"I like being mysterious. What seal?"
"The Fourth went to the Mist one day remember? Over that whole Kisame thing," Jiraya nodded, "And when he saw me he asked for a private viewing. Even if you wanted to would you stop him?" Jiraya shook his head, "So I…'Dance of the Thorned Chrysanthemum?' The fuck is wrong with you?" Joya asked as she looked back at him.
"More than I can count, the Fourth?"
"Oh yeah!" she turned back to the screen, "Well I told old Blondy about Yui being half demon and he gave me a scroll with an incomplete seal. When Yui turned three we put it on her, and had to change it every two months until she was six to get it right. That's when she and Naruto started dreaming about each other…" Joya looked at a title of a chapter then back at Jiraya.
He blinked at her, "What?"
"'Three Gates of Heavenly Corruption'? You sick bastard…"
"You want to watch it…" he countered.
Joya sighed and decided to just push play. As it started the title rolled up. "You gave it…opening credits. No wonder Mune-hime hates you…I mean…hell you even put her damn name in here! What the hell? 'Produced by the man whose name hushes the sinister spoken plans of scheming enemies. The man with a talent all his own. The man whose power overshadows all who harm the righteous and the good: Jiraya the Toad Hermit?" Joya watched as a variation of that went for the director, leading male role, supporting male role, and anything else Jiraya did.
Joya scowled at him and he pointed to the screen, she turned her head back and her eyes widened as she saw Tsunade. She was wearing an adorable Slug Kimono. Her face was red and she was obviously embarrassed. "You used a tripod didn't you?"
"I have a pride in my work no one seems to understand."
Joya sighed but went back to attention as Tsunade began to speak, "I am Tsunade of the Sannin. I just turned twenty-seven. I know I'm no spring chicken anymore but I'm sure I'll please you. Would you like to see my secret weapon techniques?"
"I can't believe you got her to say that." Tsunade grabbed the belt of her dress and pulled it off. Joya leaned in as she saw the greatest thing in the world. Well her world anyway.
"Oh my god…"
Tsunade was wearing the special Victoria's Secret Weapon Konoha edition garter-belt, corset, crotch-less panties, and stocking set. Joya gulped as she traced the red and black lace around each piece of the set. Her eyes were drawn to all the right places. Tsunade had expertly shaved every part of her body leaving it soft and bare. She had a light tan that was glowing from the simple light of the room's lamps.
Tsunade also had her nipples pierced.
Joya was in heaven.
She suddenly paused the video. "Why'd you do that?" Jiraya asked. He had gotten off the bed and had gone to the bathroom. He was currently putting his pants back on.
Joya raised her hand and dropped the remote. A pair of kunai appeared in its place. She threw them and Jiraya's boxers and pants fell to pieces around his ankles. "Why'd you do that?" he asked.
"You can put the mesh back on…" she licked her lips. "…and that's all."
Okay…this won't end well.
At the time Jiraya and Joya were inspecting each other's private areas Naruto and Yui were standing outside their new home. It was a large two story building that was similar to Ino's home without the Flower shop below it. All in all it was one of the larger homes available in Konoha.
Naruto knew it had a floor plan, and that plan allowed for a guest bedroom that was only large enough for a small single bed and a nightstand while the master bedroom had enough room for large canopy bed and three dressers on each side!
He wouldn't put Yui in that guest bedroom so he decided sleeping with her wasn't that bad. He wasn't planning on entering any relationships soon anyway. And with new, deadlier missions, there was the chance they wouldn't spend much time here anyway.
"Shizune-neechan said she would bring the key right?" Naruto asked. They had called and Shizune had said she would be waiting for them after lunch.
"Hey Naruto," they heard.
The two blondes looked up and saw a third, Ino, walking toward them. "Shizune-san had to take care of Tsunade suddenly so she gave me the key for you two," she held out her hand, as Naruto reached for it she closed her hand around it and pulled back, "Naruto aren't you going to introduce me?" she asked playfully.
He smiled and rubbed the back of his head, "Oy yeah sorry Ino-chan. Yui-chan this is Yamanaka Ino she's one of the best Kunoichi for infiltration in the village. Ino-chan this is Noumaki Yui, my new roommate."
Ino and Yui shook hands and Ino handed Naruto the key. He took it and was about to turn toward the building when he looked at Ino. "Hey wanna come in with us?"
"What?"
"Well I wanted to ask you about what kind of plants would be good. Yui-chan doesn't have the green thumb we do Ino-chan," he explained.
Ino looked at Yui who was smiling sadly and looking at the ground, "alright. If you think it's safe to be alone with me Naruto." She raised an eyebrow in a sly gesture.
"I would stop her from raping you Naruto-sama," Naruto winced as he unlocked the door. He laughed weakly and opened the door for them.
"Ladies first," he said nervously. The two entered and Ino opened the blinds. The building was pre-furnished. It had some basic furniture, better than at least what Naruto had. The guest bedroom already had the bed and stand. Ino grimaced when she saw the curtains. She would need to help them.
Naruto said he would head upstairs while Yui look at the kitchen. It was big and had a good clean oven. The fridge had some old food in it, which she promptly made put in a trashcan by the island. She tied the bag and threw it out the back door.
Naruto was looking around the bedroom. They had cleared out all but a make up mirror and stand. It was in the huge closet that had room for about three women's clothes. No wait…only two.
He walked back downstairs and saw that Ino and Yui were looking at each other over the island. "Something wrong?" he asked.
"No," they both answered. "I'm just looking at how different you two are. It's really crazy Naruto. If I saw you two on the street I would think twins. But when I look at her like this," she looked at him intently, the gaze was a little unsettling, "and you like this, the differences are glaring, like a bright light. It's really odd."
Naruto shrugged. "What do you two think?"
Ino sighed and put her hands on her hips. "You need different curtains. All new stuff. And the colors don't go with you, either of you, at all."
Yui nodded in agreement.
Naruto rubbed his chin. "Well we'll start the move in tomorrow morning. Ino will you be free to help us pick stuff out?"
"What?" she asked.
"You obviously have ideas. I'd love to see what you and Yui-chan have in mind."
Ino blushed and Yui made a note of it. "Al-alright. I'm due for a new mission soon so I can't make any promises but-"
"That's fine. We may be moving out soon too. It's getting late. Let's head back home. I wanna call a few people and see if they'll help us move," he explained. Yui nodded.
The three blondes left the house and Naruto locked the building up. "It was nice to meet you Ino-san," Yui said as she bowed. Naruto waved and the two of them left Ino to herself.
"Bye Naruto…"
Sakura panted furiously. She looked at her work. The first part of the technique had been mastered. She was so tired. Thankfully she had made sure to bring plenty of supplies. She sat under a tree and ate her healthy and completely disgusting 'Bust Enhancer X000' bar.
She had completed the first stage in only a few hours. The next one would be harder, much harder. But if she worked hard she would be able to master it by the time Naruto would be getting ready to redo his building. If that Yui girl had any sense of color or fashion, as Sakura had seen the house, she would try and work it over to match.
"And won't she be surprised when I show up after she did all that work and has to leave…"
Sakura laughed. She laughed as loud and long as she could. The world was filled with her insane laughter.
"I'LL GET YOU, YOU COW! MUAHAHAHAHAA!"
A/N: Man! Drama! And lemon...well partially anyway! There may be lemons later on. I don't know if I would post them on or just keep them to be sent to any fan who wants to read them.
Also I have some of the pairings set, once the boys are introduced I think you'll see what I'm planning. The first chapter will be changed after the visible summary for the story to include the first few pairings I've decided on.