A/N So, here is the next chapter. It took me quite long to figure out what to write here, but finally I made my way through it. Enjoy! :)

Chapter Eight

As days passed by, I was surprised to feel my heart start healing. That made me realize that the hole in my heart wasn't made just by him leaving, it was the whole family. Each one of the Cullens took a little piece of my heart with them. He got the biggest one, but I missed them all. Alice brought that little piece of me with her when she came back and I felt that the hole was now smaller than it used to be. Alice told me about the family, avoiding everything that was somehow connected to him. She did her best to keep me happy, and most of the time she was successful.

She was great with Charlie, too. I didn't know how to be around him, I was afraid of his sorrow, but while Alice was there everything seemed to be good. Charlie was smiling, he had always liked Alice and he didn't blame her for leaving. It was amazing how this little person could make our days so much brighter.

I went to school in the mornings, she picked me up in the afternoons and we would just hang out. In the evenings we spent time with Charlie, then Alice would say it's time for her to go, we would say our goodbyes just to meet few minutes later in my room. That was the usual schedule, a routine that made me feel good.

And yet I couldn't feel completely happy, there was something missing. And I knew where I could find it, I just had to wait. But Saturday came very quick to my surprise and now I was in my truck with Alice driving.

She wasn't happy, I didn't have to be Jasper to figure that out. I hated to do this to her, I knew how helpless my going to La Push made her feel, but I had to see Jake. When he called me in the middle of the week to say what time to come, he didn't sound as happy as I would like him to be. And I was eager to make him understand that I can't choose between him and Alice. I didn't want to lose my friend, and even more than that I didn't want to hurt him.

Suddenly the truck stopped, jerking me out of my thoughts.

„I'll be here as soon as you decide to come home." So this is where the mythical borderline was. To me it looked the same as the rest of the road. I guess I expected some kind of marked trees, stones on the side of the road or something like that, but there was nothing here.

„How do you know that the border is right here?"

„The smell." Alice replied simply before turning to face me. „Bella, please, do you really have to do that?". Her eyes were pleading, I couldn't take it so I broke the gaze.

„I have to go, I can't just abandon Jake like this, he did a lot for me when you left. He is my friend. As well as you are."

„You surely make friends in the wrong circles." She sighed. „It's just that I won't be able to do anything for you, for all I know you can break your neck there while running away if a werewolf decides to eat you, and I won't be able to see and prevent that." She was dramatizing and I knew she had forgiven me a little bit.

„I'm sorry, but I have to go. And I'm totally safe there with Jake, I promise. But I'll make sure he sends you a note in case I drown in my drink." That got a laugh out of her.

„That's not funny, you know." She looked at me with a smile. „And please, please be careful." I nodded.

„I better go now, the dog is getting impatient." And with a quick peck on the cheek she got out of the car, I saw her get into the woods and disappear. I was too distracted to hear Jake get into the car.

„Jeez, how can you stand this stink? It literally reeks in here and you keep your windows closed." Theatrically he rolled the window open on his side.

„Hey, Jake!" I said as he scooped closer to hug me. „I thought I would be driving."

„No way, I'm the only one who knows how to make this car go faster than it's usual speed limit." I was happy to see him in such a great mood. I thought I would feel entirely good when I meet Jacob, but now I felt that there were still gapes to fill and I was eager to get to La Push. The feeling that something is still missing startled me, but I was too glad to see Jake smiling to pick up that feeling from my subconsciousness.

We drove in silence for a while, happy with each others presence. Then I remembered something I wanted to ask.

„How come you have a bonfire so soon after Harry has passed?" As soon as I got it out I regretted even wishing to ask the question. Jacob's smile disappeared for a moment, then he tried to put it back on.

„Well, this is sort of a way to remind us to keep on living, like celebrating life over death." His smile was still sad. „But hey, let's not talk about this, today it's the forbidden topic. How's the bloodsucker treating you?"

„Jake, you know Alice wouldn't hurt me." I sighed. „You both should learn that neither one of you would be bad for me. I need you both."

„As long as she stinks on her side of the border, I'm okay." It was his turn to sigh. „But you do realize that I'll never be a friend to that leech. No matter how much you want me to." He smiled and continued. „Even being you it's impossible to make mortal enemies become buddies."

„What do you mean-being me?"

His smile grew wider. „It's hard not to like you. Once one ġets to know you, it's hard to hold back. You pull people towards you, like a magnet."

„Or a new shiny toy." I sighed while he laughed. „It's not like everyone likes me. Sam even didn't want me to come."

„It's not that simple, Bella. It's not that he doesn'twant you here, it's just... He's the Alpha, Bella. He can't put his wishes before what's better for the tribe." Seeing that this doesn't help me, he switched the subject. „Besides that, who else doesn't like you?"

„Jessica."

„Jealousy."

„Victoria."

„Will die because of that."

„Paul." Again my mind wondered in this direction. During the week I caught myself thinking of Paul several times. I guess the thing that happened in my kitchen was something that I wouldn't forget that easily. I didn't understand why it bothered me though. When he phased in front of me, I was scared, but that image didn't haunt me afterwards. Now his eyes reminded me of themselves every time I looked into the mirror. And then I remembered Paul. Sometimes he was in my dreams, too. Those weren't nightmares, but something like dreams I had about Jake, sunny and warm, but there was something different and I couldn't tell what exactly. I wondered if Paul would be at the bonfire.

„Well he's just stupid." I chuckled while Jacob continued. „And he's weird."

„What do you mean?"

„I don't know, he's acting kind of different lately. I haven't been phased with him in a while, so I don't know what's in his head. But the weirdest thing is what happens when I bring Paul up in my thoughts while I'm phased with someone else."

„Like what?"

„Well, Sam starts remembering Emily, sometimes bringing up moments I don't want to see, so I block him out. Embry starts counting ants or something just as boring. And Jared sings the National anthem. In different voices. I mean that's hilarious, but I just don't get why they don't let themselves think about Paul. Maybe it has something to do with Harry."

„Why, they were close?" It was hard to imagine Paul close to someone, he seemed too arrogant to have some kind of emotional bond with someone.

„I wouldn't say so, but Harry was a great help when we phased. I mean, Sam was the first on the line to help us, but Harry was one of the elders, he had actually seen his grandfather phase, so he could tell us a lot of stories that helped us cope with this thing. And Paul always thought of him with great respect and gratitude."

We were silent for the rest of the way. Once we got to the beach I started getting nervous. How would I stand being here if everyone hates me? Suddenly I was afraid that Jacob being at my side wouldn't be enough. Apparently he saw me start panicking as he took my hand in his, reassuring me.

„Come on, we're right on time." He pulled me along towards people. We were reaching Sam and Emily as I saw her smile at me, then nudge Sam and point in my direction. He looked up, sighed and moved towards us.

„Hey." He said as he reached us. „Jacob, would you mind leaving us alone for a while?"

„Um, sure, I'll be right there." He smiled at me and went towards Emily.

„Bella, I know what Jake told you about me not wanting you here." I nodded, trying to reassure myself that there is no reason to be afraid of Sam. He wouldn't hurt me.

„So I felt I'd rather explain this to you myself. It's not that I don't want you here, it's just that I don't want you to think I support you going back and forth. You can't be friends with both. At one point you'll have to choose a side you want to be on and forget about the others."

„But.."

„Bella, we're enemies. I'm sure that the Cullens are not entirely bad, otherwise our grandfathers wouldn't have made the treaty, but it doesn't mean we can be friends with them. We have to protect our tribe. And you have to choose what's more important to you. Also, I can't forbid Jacob to be your friend, but I hate seeing him like this. He's torn between his love towards you and his responsibility towards his tribe."

We stood there quiet for a moment.

„But what if I can't choose? I can't just abandon you or them. I can't."

„I'm pretty sure you will do that. Sooner or later you will know what to do." It was a surprise for me to see him smiling. He saw that I didn't understand the real meaning of his words, that made him smile even wider.

„Oh, and please, ignore the dirty looks given to you tonight. The elders aren't that understanding. I mean, they are quite old, so they aren't that easy going. But I guess that's why they are the elders." He smiled reassuringly. „Come on, the fun is about to start."

I put on a smile and followed Sam towards the beach. I was too busy with acting cool to see a pair of eyes watching me as I reached the little crowd around the bonfire.

So, how did you like this? I know, almost no Paul again, but I promise there'll be plenty of him in the next chapter. And also I would like to know what you think about me taking things so slowly with Bella and Paul? What do you think about chapters without Paul? If it's a story about him and Bella, he should be in here more, right? Or not? It's just a thing that I started thinking about while writing this chapter and I would really like to know your opinion!

Once again - thank you for reading and see you in the next chapter! :)