A/N Once more, thank you for the reviews and opinions. I'm so incredibly grateful that you read this and leave your comments. I started writing this for myself, I wanted to have my way with Bella and Paul, and now it feels so good that I'm not the only one enjoying this. Thank you! :)

And to those who want Bella to get rid of Alice already - I don't think it's that easy, she's really hung up on the Cullens, remember New Moon. And I don't wan't Bella to be out of her character, everything has to go slowly. But since this is a B/P story, the ending is guaranteed to be all about the wolves, and until then let's see how everything develops naturally ;)

Chapter Nine

The bonfire was better than I expected. I got a few dirty looks from the Elders, but when they started their stories they seemed to forget about me. I may be a disturbance to them, but at this moment the loss of their friend and comprehension of their heritage seemed a lot more important than some 'leech lover' being here.

With a plate in my hands I curled up at Jacob's side. He put an arm around me and listened very carefully. I tried to listen as well, the ancient stories seemed so magical and exciting, but still I couldn't keep my eyes from wandering around.

Everyone had formed a circle around the fire. Sam and Emily were sitting next to the Elders, I guess Sam was some kind of an Elder himself, he was the Alpha of the pack after all. Emily was sitting next to him, her legs thrown over his knees, her head resting on his shoulder. There was something so protective and loving in the way he held her, it made me feel the pain of my own. It made me realize how alone I actually was. In some ways I even felt jealousy, they had what I would never have again. Involuntarily I curled up even closer to Jacob, still not being able to break the gaze from the couple in front of me. I finally managed to look away when Emily noticed my staring and looked at me with a smile.

I started looking at other people around the fire. Embry was sitting next to a girl I didn't recognize. She was beautiful, her black hair waving around her perfect features. There was something sad on her face, a feeling of pain. I guessed that it may be Harry's daughter. A boy sat next to her, and if the girl was Harry's daughter, this must be his son. The boy didn't seem that sad, it looked like he was listening very carefully, absorbing every single detail of the stories.

On the other side of the Elders I noticed Quil. He looked bigger than I remembered, I would guess that he had phased, too. Jake didn't mention this, but since Quil was now hanging out with the pack, my guess must be right. Like everybody else, Quil was completely into the stories, not noticing anything else.

Next to Quil there was another couple. Jared was there with a girl I didn't know. She was beautiful, too. Curled up at his side, she was listening intensly, Jared embracing her tightly. There was something about them that reminded me of Sam and Emily. The same loving and caring features in the way they sat next to each other. I wondered if it looks the same when Jacob had his arm around me. And almost instantly my mind answered – no, it doesn't. Jake was my friend, even though he looked at me differently, he would always be my brother. I would never love anyone else but him. He left and took my only chance to be happy with him. Subconsciously I envied these girls; they were beautiful and had those warm, strong arms around them to protect, to love, to care. Even though I had Jake who claimed to protect me no matter what, this wasn't the same. Jacob didn't belong to me, no matter how hard I tried, I would never love him the non-brotherly way. And some day he would understand that, fall in love with some beautiful Quileute girl and forged about his pale-faced trouble magnet. And then these warm arms will be holding someone else, I'll just be alone, again.

I felt my eyes fill with tears, and I shook my head to get rid of the toxic emotions of sadness when it struck me. Was I wishing there were warm arms around me? The love of my life was cold as ice, his icy and hard embrace was everything I've been dreaming of for the past few months, and now I wanted something warm? Involuntarily I shivered, not understanding the sudden change of my priorities.

Jacob felt me shiver and embraced me even tighter. That's when I heard a quiet growl. I looked in the direction it came from and saw the one person I've been avoiding to look at for the entire evening.

Paul. He sat between a bunch of people I didn't know, he was the only one who wasn't listening to the Elders. Though his eyes were fixated on them just like everybody else's, I could swear he didn't hear a word. He seemed tense, his hands clenched into fists. Everyone else seemed to be relaxed and interested in the history of their tribe, except for him. At least I wasn't the only one that wasn't listening. I knew he saw me staring, but he never looked at me. Somehow I was actually glad he didn't, because I wasn't sure I could stand his burning gaze again.

I wondered what it was that made him so tense and nervous. I knew he didn't like me, but could it be that he hated me this much? Maybe I made him so angry the other day that he still couldn't let go? Suddenly I wanted to come up to him and apologize, tell him that I didn't mean to upset him that much; I was ready to do anything just to make the tense look on his face fade away. I didn't want him to feel so mad with me, I was ready to leave immediately if I knew that would make him feel better.

Once again I was surprised by my own thoughts. Since when did I care what Paul thought? He was just an arrogant guy who thought I wasn't worth their protection. I was sure that he wouldn't have saved me from the water if it wasn't for Jacob. In his eyes I was just a filthy leech lover, I was the reason why he was what he was. And yet, I didn't want him to hate me. I wanted him to like me.

I had no idea where those kind of thoughts came from. And while I was still struggling with my mind and my unexplainable feelings towards Paul, I heard Jacob call my name.

„Bells, are you okay?" He waved his hand in front of my face.

„Yeah, sure, I was just really into the stories." I lied, as I took a glimpse at where Paul was sitting. He was gone, as if he was never there in the first place.

„Well, the stories are over, now the real fun is about to start." Jake's face was bright with a huge smile on it. „We were about to play some ball or something, are you in?"

„Hell, no." He laughed.

„We can go for a walk then, Quil and Embry won't let you just sit and observe."

„Uhm, sure, a walk would be great." I wondered why Jake was so eager to get me away from here, but my weird thoughts of Paul didn't let me think about that subject any more.

As we walked away I heard laughs and screams, everyone was having fun, but I just wanted to get away from all that, maybe some peace and quiet would let me think. But Jake obviously didn't have the same idea of us taking a quiet walk.

„I'm really glad you came tonight. I thought that the leech would talk you into ditching me."

„Jake, you know I can't do that. And it kills me that you both can't understand that you're equally important to me." It felt like I was going around in circles, so I decided to change the topic. „So, did Quil phase, too?"

„Yeah." He sighed. „He's so happy about that, finally knowing what's going on and having his friends back. I guess he just doesn't understand what kind of burden this is."

„Is it really that bad?"

„Well, if I had to choose, this wouldn't be my first option. I love my tribe, I love our history, but this werewolf thing makes me stay here for the rest of my life. And it makes us grow up instantly. I'm sixteen, and this amount of responsibility isn't what a normal sixteen year old wants."

He was quiet for a while and then continued.

„I also hate how this makes me unable to make my own choices."

„What kind of choices? I mean, I know Sam's your Alpha and you have to listen to him, but doesn't he allow you to do anything on your own?" I never thought that Sam was so controlling of them.

„No, it's not Sam. He just commands us if it has something to do with the leeches, phasing or protecting. But there are these wolf things that make us do what's better for the wolf, regardless what we want."

He must have noticed the confused look on my face as he continued.

„Like, we can't even choose who we want to love. I'm not sure if I can tell you this, but since you know everything else about us, this shouldn't do any harm." He looked at me. „There is this thing called imprinting. It's the way we find our perfect mates."

„You mean like soul mates?"

„Yes and no. The imprint is the person who is our perfect match, you could call it a soul mate. Basically that's the person who is perfectly suited for us. But that's just one side of the thing. By imprinting we find the person who is the best to carry on the wolf gene. Paul jokes that it's a way of finding a chick a wolf can knock up without feeling guilty."

I felt myself blush and thanked the heaven that it was dark outside. But I still heard Jacob chuckle, so I rushed to change the subject.

„But why did you say that leaves you without a choice?"

„The imprinting happens involuntarily. When the wolf sees his imprint, he looks in her eyes and the whole world shifts. There is nothing else that matters more than safety of the imprint, the wolf feels an incredible urge to love and protect. Basically, he can't be without that other person. It's impossible to fight that."

„Have you imprinted?" I asked in a shaky voice. Jake laughed.

„No, silly. If I had, I would've never let you be alone with the leech." His smile dropped. „And if I imprinted on someone else, you wouldn't see this much of me."

"How do you know everything so well then?"

"Pack mind, remember? I've seen it in Sam's and Jared's mind."

So that's why there was this strong aura of love around them. I thought it would make me feel better, but it just hurt me more. Those girls were lucky to have someone who would be there for them no matter what. Sam or Jared would never leave them. They would fight to protect them, they would never play with their feelings. Those girls knew that they would always be loved. The sorrow and feeling of my own worthlessness took over me again.

Jacob didn't seem to notice that, as he continued.

„Sam imprinted on Emily while he was still with Leah, Harry's daughter. Emily is Leah's cousin, she came to visit her, Sam saw her and that was it. He broke up with Leah to be with Emily."

„That's awful of him. I mean, they are cousins!"

„You can't blame Sam. He feels so bad about the whole thing, but still he can't fight it. At first he tried to ignore the imprint, but at one point it brakes you. It's either being with your imprint or being unhappy for the rest of your life. And the imprint feels the same, maybe not on the same level, but both Emily and Kim are saying that there was a pull they couldn't ignore."

„So, Sam just started going out with Emily? What about Leah?"

„You can't even imagine how he feels. He is a great guy, who would never do this if he had a choice which he didn't. This is the best for the wolf, like I told you before. The wolf inside leads our lives, no matter what our mind thinks. The imprint is just one example. It's thought to be rare, but now already two of five have imprinted, I wouldn't say it's that rare after all."

The thought I had earlier returned. What if Jacob imprints? He will leave me to be alone without his warmth. My sun would belong to someone else, some girl that would be perfect for him. As much as I wanted Jake to imprint, I didn't want to loose him. I knew I was being selfish, keeping him so close to me, knowing that friendship is everything I'd be ready to give him, and he knew that as well. I knew he was hurting. I wanted him to be happy, I hated hurting him this much, but if he imprinted, I would loose him. And I didn't want that to happen.

„Jake, can you promise me something?"

„Sure."

„If you imprint, would you.. I mean, I just.. Will you.." I couldn't get the sentence out as I felt tears stream down my face. He took my chin and held it up so I could face him.

„Bella, you know I wouldn't leave you." I could feel his warm breath on my lips. „Bella, I..."

„JACOB!" Sam's voice rumbled from distance. „Jake, would you come here, I have to talk to you."

Jacob growled. „Can't that wait?" He said that too quiet for Sam to hear. „I'll be back in a minute, you'll be here?"

I nodded, afraid to say something, I didn't trust my voice at the moment.

Jake run away, and I turned into the other direction. Slowly I started walking along the trees, looking for a log to sit on. Everything around me seemed so peaceful and quiet, I hoped I would have a moment to think. Obviously I was wrong as I felt something grab my wrist and pull me into the trees. At first it scared me, but as I realized the touch was warm, I tried to calm myself down. This must be some kind of joke or something.

„Jake, this is not..." I started as a familiar voice cut me off.

„It's Paul."

I am so incredibly sorry that there was so little of Paul in here, but as I started writing the chapter, there were so many things I had so say before she met him! :D The next chapter promises to be interesting! Stay tuned ;)