A/N: Sorry This is up a week late but I hae to visit my grandfather and did not have time to write it. I hope you all enjoy this chapter as much as I did writing it.

Chapter 10

The Snake Without a Bush

Naruto was glaring at Anko.

Anko was examining Naruto's crotch.

Yui was watching them both.

It was not going to be a good first impression. "I don't know why you're so angry. I mean you were a bit of an idiot."

"MY FACE WOMAN! LOOK AT MY FACE WHEN TALKING TO ME DAMMIT!" he bellowed. I never thought I would have to say that to someone when I wasn't Naru-chan…

"Your face is maybe an eight. That," she said pointing to the object of her scrutiny, "is a twenty-five."

Why is every woman I have to deal with a smart ass?

"What's the big deal anyway? I thought men, and I'm using the term loosely here, were proud of their dicks."

Naruto crossed his arms and stuck out his chin, "I'm a private person!" Anko looked at him. "About stuff like that!"

"Bah. You were probably just using a transformation anyway." Anko stood up and dusted off the rear of her coat. "I mean hyper active little idiots like you could never have what it takes to pleasure a woman. Either physically or mentally. I'm surprised you can live with him Yui-chan."

Naruto gritted his teeth trying to keep his mouth shut. First that fruity Sai gets on my back…bad image there…he gave a slight shudder…now this nympho bitch…

"Are you angry Naru-chan?" Anko asked bending over in a cute little voice.

"I am beyond uber pissed!" he growled at her.

"Then I'll make you a deal. If you show me yours, and can prove it's not fake I'll show you mine!" Anko said grinning.

Naruto's anger faded. He went squint, "Why would I want to see yours?"

"Why wouldn't you want to see mine?" Anko asked striking a pose thrusting out her chest.

"Because in all honesty to see everything I'd have to push you over and take that coat off of you. You do just wear slut-gear," he said truthfully.

Anko closed her eyes and a vein popped out of her head. "You weren't complaining when you asked to see my pussy!"

Naruto roared and pointed at her, "THE HELL! YOU WANT TO SEE MY DICK! WHY ARE TWISTING THINGS AROUND SO MUCH!"

Anko retorted throwing her own finger out, "WHY DO YOU WANT TO SEE ME NAKED!"

"I DON'T!"

"YOU SAY THAT NOW!"

"I SAID IT IN THE FIRST PLACE DAMMIT!" Panting Naruto decided a Rasengan, low power of course, to her face would end this right now.

"Fine, since you can't be mature, like I can, about this we'll do it the juvenile way."

Mature my well-tanned ass…Naruto hissed mentally.

"Tsunade-sama appointed me to be your commander because I'm one of the most skilled ninja in the village dealing with assassination, stealth, and infiltration. The only one better than me is Kaka-chan."

"If Kaka-sensei's better than you and I've already learned from him, what could you possibly teach me?" Naruto asked.

Yui was content both of them had forgotten about her as long as they quit being so loud about being naked. She wasn't a prude, but in public…

"He didn't teach you Chidori did he?" A large drop of sweat came from Naruto's forehead. "I'll teach you secret techniques, poison mixes, and even how to summon snakes!"

"Why would I want to summon snakes when I have toads? And Gamabunta-bozu (1) is better than Manda anyway."

"Well considering the snake in your pants I see where you're coming from. If it is indeed an anaconda and not a garter snake…" Naruto was not enjoying her analogies about his penis. "How about this: We play a little game!"

"What kind of game?"

"It'll be like the initiation tests you took as Genin. I'll try to attack Naruto. He will try and find me and capture me, or counter my attack. If I win…" she said her eyes glinting.

The blonde grimaced as he looked at the purple haired woman's eyes, "If you win?"

Her face turned red, "You strip down to your birthday suit."

"AND PEOPLE CALL ME A PERVERT!" he screamed pointing at her in a very Jiraya like gesture.

"Now, now," Anko retorted shaking her finger, "Don't be angry. If you capture or counter me or both I'll strip naked for you!"

"I already told you I don't want to see you naked. I don't want a nympho as a teacher, and I don't want to learn any of your crap…"

Anko's rage at reached its peak. She glared at his back as he made his way to turn from her and leave. Then she suddenly came up with an idea, and she smiled. Yui caught it and realized that Naruto had already lost one part of this little battle.

Superiority had been established.

"Well considering how you couldn't even follow my movements I'd guess you would be scared. Never did get past that little gag with the kunai did you? I don't need to teach you, you've always been my bitch haven't you. Naruto-chan?" she asked stressing both words.

Naruto stopped in mid step, his hands in his pockets. His brain was going into overdrive. If he accepted her challenge she'll have a good chance of seeing him naked, something he was fairly apprehensive about, including the fact Tsunade had told him about his own pheromones. And if he won he would be with yet another older beautiful woman.

Naked.

Hopefully this time Yui would keep those damn pheromones to herself!

"FINE! WE'LL SEE WHO'S THE BITCH!" he roared turning and pointing at her.

"Good!" she put her hands on her hips and turned her head to Yui. "You'll watch us Yui-chan and judge to see if I would have killed Naruto or he would have survived enough to get me. And be fair now! I wouldn't want to have to use my secret women only techniques on you would I?"

Yui smiled, "I doubt they would be any match for the techniques Joya-sensei used on me after I reached legal age and my mother died but you are sure to try if I seem unfair Anko-sempai."

The creepy thing was…She sounds a bit optimistic…both Anko and Naruto thought.

"Okay. Let's GO!" Anko vanished and Yui nodded to Naruto before doing the same.

The blonde himself put his hands on his hips. "Great…first she wants to suck my blood…now she wants to suck my-"

Tenten and Ino looked at each other. They had both walked into the clothing store at the exact same time. Neither had seen the other because they had been busy thinking about things.

More specifically 25 cm long things.

They had come to buy new clothes for the party the next night. That particular store was a favorite place of Jiraya's for several reasons, most of which were concerned with the arrival of the two young women.

It had excellent prices.

There was no video surveillance.

There were only three dressing rooms.

Taking full advantage of that third fact Jiraya quickly made two Kage Bunshin and locked two of the three rooms. Taking a page from Naruto's book he did this while in Oiroke-no-Jutsu (2) form not arouse suspicion. Unlike Naruto, however, he was smart enough to actually change his hair color and age. It used more chakra, but he didn't even make one woman bat an eye.

He sat in a chair, as if waiting on someone and smiled as he saw Tenten try both booths, with what appeared to be a loose top and a mini-skirt. She sighed just as Ino headed to the only open booth and ran into her.

Tenten and Ino looked at each other. "Hello Tenten-san…how are you?" Ino asked with a fake smile.

"Oh I'm fine Ino-chan. I just came by to get some new clothes."

"Wow me too!"

They both laughed nervously and regarded the clot6hing choice of the other. Jiraya himself had noted Ino had only picked out lingerie. He also noted that the pieces were from an older Victoria's Secret Weapon collection he had gotten a certain old woman as a birthday present.

Jiraya frowned, this wasn't what he expected, there was nothing happening. They were feeling awkward, that was clear, but he bet they didn't put together the facts both was here to look better than any other girl at the party. To correct this he casually slipped his fingers together in a seal to command his Bunshin.

Jiraya, for this little scheme of his, had put his clones in two booths right next to each other and had changed both of them to resemble sisters, him being one as well. So when they talked it was normal for them to have similar voices he smiled as he sent the final mental command to his clones.

"Did you get the new information letter?" the left clone asked.

Tenten froze. "You bet I did! Who would have thought Uzumaki was such a stud huh?"

Ino shook a little. "Well it doesn't matter anyway does it?"

"What do you mean?"

"He's too hung up on Godaime's assistant to even look our way unless we were naked."

Ino flushed and clenched her free hand. Jiraya took note that she looked about to punch something. Tenten meanwhile had an odd gleam in her eye that he liked. He decided that putting Tenten first on the Rep-Increase List was a good idea.

It was obvious she wanted Naruto physically. He was very happy he had left Naruto's door open for her to see his little action with Yui. With any luck she would be the first one to make a move.

But he paused and thought for a second. Naruto is a very caring person. If Tenten did become his vixen then he would undoubtedly get attached to her. And that wouldn't do at all considering Tsunade was obviously looking for more helpings of fox meat and Yui was growing on the boy day by day.

Rubbing his chin Jiraya made a gamble. He made a quick seal.

The left clone spoke up, "Well it might be a reflection on his tastes." Tenten and Ino eyes each other and laughed again. "Maybe he likes the fierce types. Lean, mean, ready-to-fuck machines, more than quiet girls?"

"Well it's not like he has a chance with any of them. I mean if he only has a big dick then…"

"I heard from that Hyuuga Neji guy he's really nice to his little fan club."

"Fan club?"

"Yeah those four girls who follow him around, the Yamanaka and Hyuuga heirs. Sakura of course, and this fourth girl who he likes to train with…" Tenten tensed up. "I forgot her name but considering how much he wants to be Hokage a girl looking to be like one of the Sannin would be better for him than anyone."

Ino and Tenten looked at each other one last time. Ino turned and headed off to the more lewd section of the store while Tenten decided to hurry off to another store entirely.

Jiraya smiled as he stood up and left, dispelling his clones and teleporting to a nearby building top.

"Soon…very soon the greatest pimp in Konoha history shall rise…" As he changed back he started to laugh like a mad scientist.

Naruto looked around.

He had been in a small clearing, devoid of trees, for the past half hour. Yui's signature was prevalent, but he couldn't use that to find Anko, who was good at hiding her trail. She had sent several diversions at him that had nearly cost him his pants, but he had been able to see through them in time and save himself.

Looking back on it now he wondered if he should just have his tongue cut out to stop from talking.

It would make things a lot easier.

But I made that promise to Yui-chan. If I pulled my tongue out and Gai's eyebrows aren't three times the size of Lee's I'll have to…

Naruto suddenly thought of Tsunade and Yui's actions before his little romp with the older ninja and gulped. He shook his head and looked up in time to see a volley of kunai and shuriken aimed at him. He jumped back, kicking up a little bit of dust into a storm with a wind jutsu and buried himself underground.

Kakashi had been surprised when he heard how Naruto had defeated Neji in the Chunin exams and had decided to teach him the groundhog technique. Naruto surprisingly does as well as a hole-digging rodent as he does a trickster canine (2).

He made a clone dig its way to a nearby exit spot and made him pop out. Anko didn't attack that one, so Naruto made her believe it was the real him by having him zone out two minutes later.

The second attack, just as quick as the first, caught his clone off guard enough so Anko could capture it with her hidden snake hands. The clone vanished and Naruto exploded from underground to grab her. She smiled and her own clone dissolved into a pile of snakes before biting him.

He cried out and fell backward as the paralysis venom in their fangs affected him. "Gotcha! I win Naru-chan!" She tapped the clone's forehead and smiled.

"Not…yet…"

"Huh?" The clone exploded launching her onto her butt and she gasped as bars of earth and soil encased her in a small prison. She drew a kunai to cut them but it broke. "WHAT IS THIS?!" she screamed angrily.

"You weren't in the hunting division were you Nympho-sensei?" Naruto asked as he appeared from the woods.

"Neither were you how do you know this technique?!" Anko screamed shaking the box like a monkey.

"Well Inuzuka Hana is really nice to me. Also I bugged her for like seven days until she taught me a few techniques she never did learn all the way through. I just made up some parts of myself and…TAH-DAH!" he said striking a magician's pose.

Yui leapt from the trees and landed in a crouch, Naruto couldn't help but take notice of the slight jiggling involved with her actions. "I believe that is game point for Naruto-sama," she said eyeing him.

Naruto gulped, he thought she looked about ready to strip him anyway. "Do you think so Yui-chan?" Anko asked.

The two blondes watched as yet another Anko clone revealed itself, melting into mud and dirt. Naruto and Yui gasped as they felt kunai and serpent fangs against their necks. "Who wins now?" Anko asked.

"I believe based on the fact Naruto-sama has your legs in a vice and your neck a few inches from a Rasengan, it's a tie," Yui said.

Naruto had made two Chi Bunshin (Earth Clones) and grabbed and encased Anko's legs while he himself made a Rasengan and had it hovering from Anko's face. "Nice going brat."

"Thanks Nympho-sensei," Naruto with a smile. "Well if it's a tie no one wins so we can-"

"No Naruto," Anko and Yui said in unison. "It means we both win."

Naruto started and looked at the two drooling women, When they say both, I doubt they include me in there…god if I end up having sex with two mentors in one week I'll be staying so far away from Kaka-sensei it won't even be funny!

"Let's go to…my place…" Anko said headily.

Great…from the forest of death to the Den of a Nympho…My life is really looking up. What's next?

"Yes…oh yes! THERE!" Sakura sighed happily as she leaned against the tree she was using for support. Licking her lips she gazed down at her hands and smiled as each one was encased in glowing chakra. Each finger showed not only a fox like claw, but also fire like attributes.

She laughed evilly and went to the water to peer at herself again. Grinning like a loon she gazed at her new body. Her muscle mass had been affected by the chakra boost first, then her body's fat reserves had been shifted, greatly.

Haruno Sakura had gone from mosquito bump 'A's to 'B's. Not a great improvement, especially when Naruto had tits like Yui's around him 24-7, but it showed her that if she called on the Spirit of Fire enough her body would change more.

She already liked the darker, rose red highlights that she could make flow through her hair. As opposed to the blood red collections under her arms and between her legs (She had used her new chakra claws to nip that in the bud before long) which were curlier and coarser than her normal hair.

The Spirit hadn't been lying when he said puberty on crack.

With heroin.

And some acid thrown in for color.

She had grown more hair in the last day than in five years of her normal changes.

But none of that mattered since she was now positive her chakra reserves were on par with Naruto in a normal state, or at least close to Sasuke's, and her strength and speed were beyond that of Temari or even Inuzuka Tsume.

All of it was making her very happy for the…

"Oh god…" Sakura clutched her belly and groaned. Holding her legs together she dashed down river away from her water source and dealt with the possible side effects of the chakra.

It mostly boiled down to loose bowels, which wad good considering symptom three hundred and fifty-four: Subject may grow extra sets of genitals of both sexes.

Sakura did not foresee even Double D's helping her get Naruto if she had a penis.

If it was not for the sudden bouts of diarrhea, the fact she was still growing hair in the most uncomfortable places she's ever found, and it appeared she also hadn't bathed with real soap for the last two days, she would have run home and leapt at Naruto as naked as she was right now (she was much more resistant to cold and heat).

"Well…" Sakura sighed as she checked to make sure her make-shift toilet paper wasn't poison ivy, "At least I can be sure in the knowledge Naruto won't have a chance with anyone until I get back. it would have to take a miracle to make him popular like that!"

Sakura laughed.

"Yeah Naruto being chased by the women in Konoha. That's like saying he'll see Anko's bedroom with her naked on the bed!"

Sakura laughed. And laughed. And laughed.

If she knew the truth she would have cried.

And that makes this next scene change all the funnier for me.

"Naruto-sama, just put your hand on it."

"Why don't you touch it? You're more excited about this than I am."

"Suck it up Naru-chan, it's just a doorknob," Anko scoffed as she pushed Naruto out of the way unlocked her door. She opened it and moved out of the way for them to go in.

The dark aura pouring from the house made Naruto remember one of Orochimaru's special labs.

"Naruto-sama? Is there anything wrong?"

"Maybe this whole fucking situation?" he asked.

"You made the deal Naruto-sama, that is like a promise so you must accept."

I would even be in this damn mess if you hadn't decided to get an eyeful of me and Nympho-sensei dammit…

Grumbling Naruto walked into the dark. Yui followed them.

"BUDDHA'S DOUGHNUTS!"

Yuhi-Sarutobi Kurenai is not usually surprised. When she heard Ibiki was a torture specialist, that had gotten her, when she found out she was pregnant Asuma's child, there had been a little bit of foreknowledge. And finally when she saw Uzumaki Naruto, his new little shadow, and Anko going in the direction of Anko's house, she was actually surprised.

That could mean only one thing.

She ran home, forgetting whatever asinine errand she had been doing. She had to tell someone. Most likely someone who had been inside Anko's house.

Finally she decided on the best bet. Dashing to the left at Gashinka Street instead of left she made her way to the best place to just sit and read a book ever, the cherry blossom trees just behind Tsunade's current residence.

As usually Kakashi was sitting under a special tree, one that reminded him of Rin's hair color. Not even the pure awesome could let him escape the melancholy of his usual life. He sighed and looked up when he saw a panting, harried, Kurenai over him.

"Tousa running around with your tampons again?" he asked bluntly.

She shook her head and waved her hand to signal no. "Bigger…"

"That light saber you call Asuma Mark II?"

"HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT?!"

"I'm awesome like that…so what's so important you had to run to me of all people? Did Naruto take your tampons?"

"WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT THINGS I PUT IN MY VAGINA?!" she screamed.

Kakashi let a bead of sweat form just under his headband. If Tsunade had decided to return home to get some more of her special medicine she would have heard that. And he already knew Joya would be making a fuss.

Tsunade would be so angry only a quick fuck would calm her down. And he wasn't ready to throw Naruto to that particular shark again.

"Dammit Kakashi! This is important! Naruto is going to Anko's house with that little girlfriend of his!" she said finally regaining her breath.

Kakashi's visible eye widened. He looked at his pure awesome. He closed it and returned it to his equipment pouch. Making several signs he slammed his hands together and a small portable camera appeared.

Some things are better than pure awesome

Mitarashi Anko. Special Chunin designated for examinations of varying degrees. Jounin level skills she knows secret and forbidden techniques taught to her by her sensei, mentor, and first crush, Orochimaru before his defection.

Most people are distrustful of Anko for varying reasons.

1. She wears less than a striper on a good day.

2. She is naturally sadistic, which is increased when she is around kunai or sharp blood producing things.

3. She has a snake fetish (No snakes aren't a double entendre for penises)

4. Most people believe her to be the most sexually active woman in the village and has a surprising array of sexual toys and S&M gear.

All these people for point 4, are amazingly wrong.

Uzumaki Naruto was not surprised because he walked into Madame Anko's house of pain, he was surprised because he walked into Anko's playhouse.

The wallpaper was a bright and happy lavender color, which he saw when Anko turned the lights on, with varying degrees of purple on the furniture and carpet. The shelves were lined with not only ninja weapons and ornate stands, but also small ceramic and colored glass snakes.

All in all it was not what he expected.

"It's…it's…so…cute…" he gasped. Anko laughed nervously and motioned for them to head upstairs.

"Come on Naru-chan," she said playfully. As he led her up he noticed the pictures on the walls of the stairs were similar to his own. He saw a few pictures of Orochimaru when he wasn't a creepy Vaseline loving traitor. In these he noticed Anko had a real happy smile.

He couldn't help but he feel he misjudged her, but he kept the changed feelings locked inside until he saw her bedroom. That was where the shit may hit the fan. Proverbially.

"Here we are!" she said in a singsong voice. She took her bedroom's door handle and opened it. Naruto nearly fell over.

The room resembled a young girl's rather than a hardened killer's. the comforter and top cover had lace and matched the pillows. There was a stuffed snake pillow hissing at the newcomers as well as several other chubby snakes of equal stuffedness and cuteness.

"This is the creepiest revelation that has ever happened in my life…" Naruto said, not even counting when he found out Kankuro and Gaara shared the same bedroom until after their uncle's death.

"What is so bad with me having a little color!" Anko asked huffing.

"Well…when you say 'color' Nympho-sensei we," he motioned toward himself, Yui, and the village, "Think you mean blood and or organs."

Anko scoffed and took her coat off before throwing it onto the bed. she smiled and licked her lips. Naruto suddenly remembered why he was here in the first place.

"Oh god right away?" he asked. Anko nodded as she pulled off the mesh top letting her breasts roam free. Naruto groaned and looked away just in time to see Yui taking her own shirt off. "WHY ARE YOU GETTING NAKED!" he screamed at her.

She blinked, her breasts (which she had bound earlier that day) half free. "Well it would be awkward if I was clothed and you two were not Naruto-sama."

Naruto roared in frustration and grabbed his shirt before wrenching it off. "FINE! WHAT DO I CARE IF EVERYONE WANTS TO GET NAKED NOW HUH?!" he pulled his pants down and spun a bit to keep from falling just in time to see Anko's panties.

"What?" she asked. She noticed Yui was looked at them too. "What!" she asked with more urgency.

"Mitarashi Anko wears white cotton panties with purple snakes on them…"

"They're adorable Anko-sensei!" Yui said with a little squeal.

Naruto ignored the possible repeat of her interaction with Akamaru and looked at her. "Doesn't it sort of…I don't know….suit her?" Naruto asked.

Yui put her fingers to her chin and nodded, "It does. Now that I think about a red leather thong would not fit at all. I prefer her with those."

"I would prefer not to know what her panties are at all but I'll agree with you on that one Yui-chan."

Anko, who was a bit disturbed by this conversation decided to strip completely and if Naruto didn't hurry, to help him strip. She removed the last of her clothing, said Snake panties and the mesh shorts that covered them, before standing much as Yui had when she demanded the same thing.

Naruto, who was facing Yui suddenly noticed she was paying much more attention to Anko than before. He gulped and sighed.

Mental list here. Who have I seen naked. 1. Tsunade-bachan who I had sex with just after. Who I have given MOTHER'S DAY PRESENTS TO. Yui-chan. who is my retainer and sleeps in the same bed with me…now my new mentor and a woman I'll most likely have to share a tent with on long, dangerous missions.

Naruto turned and looked at Anko. Even with his morals on the fringe of non-existence he had to admit she was pretty. She had scars crossing her sides and hips where he jacket and skirt covered, but they didn't distract from her overall beauty. He had never noticed how she had a paler tone of skin than Sakura or Ino, making her close to Hinata in coloring. What drew him was the light pink of both her nipples and the skin between her legs, which he noticed was shaved clean.

"Okay your turn stud!" she said, drooling a little. Naruto sighed and took off his own under armor and then mesh shirt. He did the same to his pants and stood buck naked before her.

"Happy?" he asked.

"A little…" she said playfully.

"I am Naruto-sama!" Yui said from behind him. He turned to her and gave her a glare before noticing she had taken off the bonds around her breasts.

"OKAY!" Naruto said spreading his arms and pointing his palms at them. "Here's some ground rules. We do not come within five feet or groping range of each other until I have my pants back on…we agree to that? Sex with one older woman is enough for me!"

"Who was the other one Naruto-kun?"

Motherfu…

"Yui if you say one thing I will turn your ass cheeks into flood lights…"

Yui didn't see that as a problem, "Tsunade-sama."

I really have to get that girl a filter for her mouth…or a gag…

Naruto gulped again and looked at Anko. She had a face that made him feel like a little boy. A little boy about to run into the streets naked if she came one step closer to him that needed.

"Really? Tsunade-sama…I didn't know little Naru-chan was a MILF hunter…"

Naruto ran behind Yui and held her shoulders as if she would protect him. But based upon previous situations she would be the one to hold him down if Anko did decide she wanted some fox meat.

"I have Nai-chan's number on speed dial. Want me to call her over? We could have a little fun?"

Naruto was suddenly very afraid. If he had enough mind to make a clone he would make a dozen and destroy every phone in the damn house. "Listen Anko. You're older than I am. You should know this goes not only against regulations but also village Taboo…I mean it is me you're looking at."

"Yeah…Kyuubi's stamina…" she hissed.

She looks like Orochimaru…oh god…WHAT IF SHE HAS VASELINE TOO! Please someone help me! someone come to my aid!

Ino looked around and blinked. "That's weird…"

"What is dear?" Inoichi, her father, asked as he snipped the thorns off of some blue roses.

"I just thought someone called my name for help…I think I have to go."

"Yamanaka Ino, you have a responsibility as a ninja to help others but unless someone is invading you are duty bound to help your father in his shop. Now I ordered some seeds go see if they got to the mail office yet."

"Yes father…" Ino huffed like she did as a teenager and hurried out.

Tenten looked up from her ironing. She suddenly felt like someone she cared about was in extreme danger. If she didn't leave right now and help him he would be lost to her in more ways than one.

"Lee's probably just training with broiling water again. A fourth stay in the hospital will show him."

In Suna Sabaku No Temari opened her eyes from her daily meditation with Gaara and looked toward Konoha.

"Gaara I think-"

"Quiet."

"But it was like-"

"Quiet."

"I really-"

"Quiet."

"Fine…" she huffed.

Haruno Sakura sat up. She had been sleeping after a very bad bout of the squirts. "Naruto is in trouble…" she was about to run but stopped and held her head. "Why did I just want to say 'sexy trouble' after that? Did it change my brain too? God that's a creepy thought. I hope I don't end up like that freaky Spirit of Fire…" she sat down and scratched her chin. "What was I going to do again?"

Her stomach rumbled and made her fall over. "Oh not again!" she cried as she scrambled to her the bushes again.

I'm all alone…even Yui-chan is about ready to abandon me…

"Anko-sensei stop."

Naruto hugged Yui as he cried with tears of joy.

"What? Why?"

"Because when Naruto-sama had sex with Tsunade-sama it was because he had a powerful hard-on that I could not alleviate myself. Naruto-sama was in such a state of arousal it took Tsunade-sama's more prominent skill and ability to help him. Right now Naruto-sama is not aroused at all. In fact I believe he is scared shitless."

"So if he was horny you would let me do what I wanted?"

"No. If he was horny I'd let you watch as I did what I wanted."

Naruto was a wee bit scared at this point. Anko smiled. "Okay, okay," she threw up her hands. "I know when I'm beat. But now this will just make me have to watch out for when Naru-chan is in heat won't it?" she asked with a grin.

"Yeah…right…okay I'm going to put on my pants…and," he took said pants and hurriedly put them on. "RUNTHEHELLAWAY!" he leapt out of her window, not before grabbing his other clothes, and charged home.

As he ran only a few thoughts went through Naruto's mind, one of them was: How can she be the cause of all these women wanting to screw me and yet keep the biggest nympho in the village off my back?! What the hell is up with her?!

"I'm afraid I must follow Naruto-sama…" Yui said as she examined her own clothes. "Could you help me re-wrap? Running after Naruto-sama when he is frightened would cause far too much discomfort without support."

Anko sniggered as she nodded and helped the poor girl tie up her breasts.

"WELL! DID YOU GET EVERYTHING!" Jiraya screamed as he appeared before Kakashi, who was making a copy disc of what transpired between Anko, Yui, and Naruto.

"You aren't going to like it," Kakashi replied.

"Bah just give it to me!" he said. Kakashi held up the disc ad Jiraya snatched it from his hand. He unveiled a portable DVD player and put it in. he watched the entire thing and gaped at Kakashi. "Is that it? He ran away!" Jiraya screamed.

"Yep. Anko has that effect on people when she's horny. If I hadn't used my mask as a trump card she probably would have scared me too," Kakashi explained.

"I'm going to have to speak to the boy about this…" Jiraya said rubbing his chin. He then had a thought. "Hey Kakashi…where does Inuzuka Tsume do her beer shopping?"

"Sappoporium by the Victoria's Secret Weapon store. Why?"

"The great Sage of the Mount Myoboku Toads never reveals his plots!"

"Except to me…"

Jiraya winced and glared at his student's student. "WELL I'M OFF!" he struck a pose that made Kakashi sick with remembrance and watched as the old hermit leapt away toward Sappoporium.

"Something tells me I've just made Naruto's life a little bit harder…" Kakashi looked at his pure awesome. "Well I'm sure he'll be fine. The boy needs more me time anyway."

A/N: Hello everyone! You thought Naruto was gonna get some Anko-pie eh? Well he won't. There will be no NaruxAnko sadly. Anko will have to deal with something a bit wierder. And all of you who are whining and moaning about no Anko pron will be priasing me for Chapter 13, where I predict the next lemon will begin.

As to the next few chapters, yeah they'll be really crazy. The next chapter is the begnning of the party and it will signal the end of the first part of the story. Right now the main story has about four or five parts before I'll take a litle break from it.

Dictionary:

1 (Bozu): Boss

2 (Oiroke No Jutsu): Sexy no Jutsu