A/N: Hello everyone! I changed chapter 5 into the full blown lemon form. SO STOP ASKING ABOUT THE F'ING LINK!

Now, enjoy the angsty antics of Naruto's House Party!

Chapter 12

The Party!

Naruto had no idea that there were currently three women in the room who wanted to have sex with him. I say three and not four because Anko isn't really as sex crazed as people think she is and really would only want to spoon with Naruto. And get a hand on that big dick of his.

But I digress.

Naruto was sitting against a counter top that ran along the left wall (from the front door) and drinking out of a can of Sapporo checked out by Kakashi. Tenten, who had arrived in time for Chouji's first course (a miso soup in a bowl bigger than Akamaru's head) was sipping some while eying the blonde.

Tenten had made it her goal to test the waters. She had no idea that was also what Naruto was doing. Our dear hero was currently waiting to see who would come first. While he and Yui had been watching some of Chouji's food while he went to the bathroom, he had given her the order to sit and watch. Not because he thought she would interfere and ruin any of the girls' interactions, but because he knew that she would do everything in her power to help.

Help meaning sending a wave of pheromones into any girl close enough to get a whiff of Naruto's own burgeoning supply.

He had picked his spot out perfectly, it was close to the stairs and the kitchen, and either place was perfect to make a quick break if things got out of his control. And considering how his first sexual encounter had come about that was very likely under the circumstances.

I mean these are ninja women we're talking about here people.

Xxxxxx.xxxxx.xxxxxX

Ino's hand shook a little. She was nervous. She was very nervous. She had after all just recently realized she wanted to have a relationship with the most unwanted guy in Konoha. And that said unwanted guy has a giant penis.

But again, I digress.

Ino took a small gulp of air and pressed the button of the doorbell. As the door opened she heard a cry of what had to be joy.

"BY INU-KAMI'S CHEW TOY! THIS IS A KENBU SYSTEM (1)!" Kiba cried as he fell to his knees in praise of the giant stereo system that Tsunade had delivered. He hugged one of the massive speakers and shed tears against the polished black wood.

"Hello Ino-chan," Yui said happily as she opened the door. "Please come in and ignore Kiba-san. He's…overcome with emotion."

"I'd noticed," Ino scoffed. She saw Naruto and Hinata looking at Kiba, Hinata was obviously trying to decided whether to be embarrassed or happy for her date, and Naruto was shaking his head in shame.

Naruto was turning to get away from the most degrading example of electronic love he has ever seen when he noticed Ino. "Hey Ino-chan!" he smiled and walked up to her. Yui stood beside her and smiled as well.

"I see Kiba noticed that gift of Tsunade's," Ino said. She had seen the delivery truck. The driver and movers had been as sad to see it go as Kiba was happy.

"Yeeeeaaaaahhhh…" Naruto grunted returning his gaze to the crying dog-boy.

"So where's the food Chouji made?"

Naruto threw his thumb over his shoulder and Ino noticed that Tenten suddenly turned around. Ino's face changed to a look Naruto had only seen used against enemy ninja who made fun of Ino's hair. It did not bode well for those under its scrutiny.

"Well Ino-chan I'm sure you-"

"I'll be getting something to eat be back in a second," Ino tore past Naruto and stood right next to Tenten.

"Hello Ino-chan."

"Hello Tenten-sempai."

The two women glared at each other without even looking at one another. As Ino took a bowl full of soup she expressed to Tenten in the way that only women know how to that: Naruto was hers.

Tenten answered subtly: Bring it junior.

The two women sent sparks to each other's eyes.

Yui, who had seen similar events happen between her mother and Joya, knew how to rectify the situation. She ran upstairs to her bedroom; grabbed Ko-chan from his outpost in between the two comfy pillows Gai had also left for them and hurried back downstairs.

If either of the girls with a different foxy boy on their mind had known how Yui had rectified those situations they would have ducked.

Ko-chan suddenly flew through the air, his bushy and puffy nine tails spread out behind him, the limp doll limbs held out like an eagle, his doll's eyes flaming in the light not unlike another character trying to fly. Those aforementioned tails whacked Ino and Tenten upside the head as he passed between them and slapped against the far wall before sliding down to the table that held Chouji's now emerging second course with a soft 'foompf.'

The two girls turned and saw Yui standing innocently with her hands clasped behind her back. Naruto and Kiba, who had finally realized that praying to a stereo system wasn't really kosher, had their very similar 'WTF' faces on.

If Naruto had inquired into Yui's ninja training more he would have found that the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist trained with and against each other, as well as their apprentices. Haku, who had found Yui adorable as a little girl, had taught her all he knew about throwing things from needles to Ko-chan.

Ino was about to say something when Tenten laughed. She couldn't help it. Of all the things Yui could have done, she threw her ratty ol' doll, at them. And it hadn't just passed between them, it had actually hit them.

It had to be, bar none, not even Naruto himself, the funniest and cutest thing any ninja had ever done.

Tenten walked up to Yui and gave her a friendly peck on the cheek. Ino strolled to her as well and rolled her eyes at her new friend. "Did you really have to do that?" Ino asked her.

Yui smiled, as innocently as she had when a small girl just ending some odd argument between her two mothers, "Of course!"

It was in that second, remembering that scene, in which she realized how much Ino was like her mother. Noumaki Yai was a very serious and calm woman, but her temper had been known to flare. And like Ino, Yui saw a longing in her eyes.

Yui had known the second she had met the girls and women in Naruto's life that each one had a special link to him, however, she did not know what that link was. Tsunade's was obvious enough. As was the woman named Shizune. But this girl, just like Tenten and Hinata, had a strange air of uncertainty. They wanted to be closer to Naruto, some wanted to be as close as her, but held off.

She wondered, absently, if they did so because they realized his own uncertainty around such matters. Well…until recently that is.

Yui's brain ticked. Something turned on then. Such insights had been few in her life, as in Naruto's, and only centered around ninjutsu or battle. Now, returning her gaze to Ino, who was watching a bold Tenten engaging Naruto in conversation, she knew what the longing was.

Noumaki Yai had loved the father of her child. She had loved that man, or demon or whatever he was, to such an extent for the first few months of Yui's life she had to be watched constantly by Mist ANBU, because she would have dashed out to follow him.

But she did not. She stayed as the Mizukage. She stayed in her village that no longer trusted her. She remained in a place that only did what she commanded through fear of her power and whatever the demon had may have taught and told her.

Yamanaka Ino was much like the above woman. She wanted to go to Naruto, to try and be his, if he would have her. And Yui knew Naruto would have taken Ino into his heart as he had done to Yui, if not with more reluctant admissions and far more time.

But she had not. She stood beside Yui, holding her hand Yui realized now. Her eyes weak as she saw Naruto focus his eyes on Tenten and Tenten alone. Ino squeezed the hand of Yui.

At one point Ino had felt what she was giving to Yui from Sakura. A hand needing to be held in friendship.

Yui directed Ino toward one of the chairs Yui had asked Joya for and went to get her some teat.

Before she could go, Ino grabbed her wrist. Yui gazed at her, her sky blue eyes blazing in wonder, Ino was strong. "Beer."

Yui nodded and waited for Ino to let her go. And even when her fingers left Yui's arm, the blonde Youma knew her human friend had not truly let go.

Noumaki Yui foresaw a very long night ahead of her.

Xxxxxx.xxxxx.xxxxxX

Naruto, not knowing of Ino's plight by any fault of his own, was currently returning to his place by the counter tha ran along the inside of his new home. He leaned against it again and eyed Tenten as she did the same. Naruto knew that the Weapons Mistress of Konohagakure No Sato had an attraction to him.

More like he smelled it.

Naruto sniffed a little more and realized he wasn't smelling anything more than Tenten's perfume, which she had never worn before to any of his parties.

"How's Mr. Personality?" Naruto asked, obviously meaning Neji.

Tenten put her finger to her chin, not unlike Tsunade Naruto realized with a little smile, "I don't know. I haven't seen him for the last few days…for that matter I haven't seen Lee either…"

Xxxxxx.xxxxx.xxxxxX

Somewhere outside the Land of Completely Fuck Nowhere…

Hyuuga Neji had made a goal to be back in Konoha by Friday. A two day full run trip with minimal stops. He had some money stashed behind his headband for any food he couldn't catch, as he had lost his shuriken and kunai holsters, and there was always fresh water where he could get it.

But he now stood at a flooded river.

The fifth he had encountered.

He had used the full power of his Byakugan to see the fastest route to make sure that no one outside of the Hyuuga Compound found out about Hinata's dreadful transformation. And that route had proved to be one large joke.

Even larger than a certain leotard wearing sensei's eyebrows.

He usually was a calm and collected young man, that Hyuuga Neji, but now, after being spanked so hard he flew nearly seven hundred kilometers into a survival test that Garp would have been proud of.

Garp? Who the hell is Garp? I must be going mad…

As he thought of the word mad he remembered how mad Hinata had been that he tried to keep her paddle from her. Then he thought about what would happen if Hinata, in her (sexual) rage, tried to find Naruto and someone happened to get in her way.

He hadn't seen anyone fly over him since that odd nudist girl so he had a bit of hope the changes had ceased.

But Neji was also an angsty fatalist.

So he took a deep breath and made sure his clothes were secure.

"Please tell me this is what I need to do."

Once before had the voice of Hyuuga Hizashi spoke to him from beyond, and again his dead father's words reached him. Well considering that shit with the hair dye, son, I'd make sure you got there before dear Hinata-sama goes Dom on some ANBU.

Neji sighed and leapt into the air. He fell into the raging flooded delta and began to push through. "I'm coming Hinata-sama! Just don't change before I get there!"

Xxxxxx.xxxxx.xxxxxX

Back at Naruto and Yui's house…

Hinata sneezed a little. "You okay?" Kiba asked as he took out an older classic rock vinyl and spun it on one of his sharp fingernails.

"Oh! Yes Kiba-kun I'm fine."

"Someone must be talking about you."

"Who would that be?" Hinata asked, in her naive way generally concerned.

"In this town? Who knows?" Kiba asked as he went to the stereo system and began to climb its massive ladder to the DJ stand. As he reached the top the doorbell rang and Shizune, Tsunade, and Joya entered at Yui's beckoning.

Tsunade looked up at the system and smiled, but frowned when she saw Kiba. Her frown formed from the realization that not only was Kiba so high up he could see over her, but also the fact her normal amount of cleavage was increased by the dress Joya had suggested. She raised her hand and made a shooting gesture at Kiba, who shook his head and smiled with a fangy grin and held up his hands in apology.

Tsunade quickly looked around for her favorite boy when she noticed that Tenten was engaging him in conversation.

She elbowed Joya, effectively making her lover stumble, and pointed when the older of the two regained her composure. "Jealous?" Joya asked in her snide voice. Tsunade rolled her eyes and headed toward the beer, which was being guarded by Kakashi and Anko.

Tsunade looked from them to the underage ninja already drinking. "Keeping the law in order eh? You aren't doing to well Kakashi."

"We're making sure that Jiraya-sama didn't do anything to the beer," Anko explained. She reached into the large cooler Chouji had made for the drinks and pulled out a cold, wet, ice encrusted beer can. As Tsunade was about to take it Anko opened it and dropped two or three drops of some fluid into it.

When Tsunade took it she looked into the can and raised an eyebrow to her jounin. "How could Jiraya do anything to them when they're still closed?" she asked.

Kakashi didn't think telling her of his brief vacation in The Land of Archives with his master's master (where Jiraya had mastered a Suiton that switched the contents of even items with seals on them so he could get college girl play) would help matters. "Who knows?"

Joya narrowed her eyes at her own beer, also knowing about that particular technique but shrugged and drank anyway. "Alchy-liscious," she said licking her lips.

Xxxxxx.xxxxx.xxxxxX

Shikamaru rolled over. He knew he wasn't in his room. But he really didn't care. Because if he cared he would care about leaving. And considering he felt how much trouble was converging out there, he didn't feel like dealing with it.

He also knew leaving would mean talking to Naruto or the New Girl. And they were the center of the Trouble. Going out there and talking to them would be like walking into a shit storm in your best white suit.

Not needed and generally not advised.

But then…what if he was still here when the trouble happened? What if it came for him?

What if he was misreading the Trouble's intentions? Trouble was much like his father. A Shougi player with a strategy that was in truth a trap. Using Shikamaru's genius against him.

That was how Trouble works!…Shikamaru thought.

He sat up. His calculating mind, which in and of itself was the ultimate contradiction, began to work. The Trouble would come for him. Even if he was not who it wanted it would come in time. He had to prepare.

He made a quick list about the room's contents and his own gear.

Comforter, sheets, mattress, metal bed frame, pillows…that look like clouds…extra soft pillows…clouds…trouble…

Shikamaru passed out and began to snore again.

Xxxxxx.xxxxx.xxxxxX

Rock Lee panted. His body was engulfed soot and ash. But he was smiling. He had gone through more painful trials when fighting Gaara, Kimimaro, and when he had first learned the lotus. Because of that, he was going to defeat this volcano.

Which he realized was a volcano only after he was caught in its monthly minor explosion of flame and magma.

Lee had, basically, found out the hard way why Tenchiho Mountain was the Mountain of Heavenly Earth's Fire.

"HASSU! I SHALL FLY!"

And he leapt off into the crater of the volcano.

Xxxxxx.xxxxx.xxxxxX

Ino was a bit depressed.

First: she had spent most of the time she had to prepare for the party trying to look as good as she could. And Naruto had only looked at her a total of three or four times.

Two: Tenten had beaten her not only to Naruto, but also in the tiny challenge she had given the older ninja.

Three: She realized what her mother had said. She also felt very much like Hinata must have felt on that day when the team assignments had been given out so long ago.

Like shit.

Four: she was making her new friend, Yui, even more depressed.

The two blondes were sitting on the couch Yui talking to anyone who come and speak to her while Ino kept drinking. Even in the best of moods this was never a good idea, but of course Ino felt shit.

And when people feel like shit, they enjoy to drink.

Well enjoy wasn't the word but she didn't feel any better sober than she did drunk.

"How long have you known Naruto-sama Ino-chan?" Yui suddenly asked.

"Uwoh?" Ino asked being snapped out of whatever little stupor had begun to affect her. She blinked at the smiling face and thought some. "I…I uh met him around the same time as everyone else. We were all just entering the academy, but Naruto had already been there three terms (2). I'm kind of ashamed of it but I ignored him for Sasuke for the most part."

"Hmmm?" Yui asked.

"That's right you never met him before. He was from the Uchiha clan and very good, even from the beginning. And since Naruto was already in the background already…" she drifted off. "But…but he kept doing pranks and tricks to try and get our attention. We all just saw at the stuff on top. Some shinobi we were as kids.

"Prankster, idiot, fool, carefree, a brat…we never even though that he could be ignored, clever, alone, hopeless, or a child. For the last ten years I've been watching him go from that sad little attention grabber to a guy who can't seem to get away from attention. Akatsuki, Orochimaru, enemy ninjas, they all see Naruto and go after him.

"His enemies saw more of his truth than we ever did." As Ino spoke Yui began to frown. It wasn't because she grew angry (as she still was with Tsunade) but because she was sad. Sad for her master and her new friend. "And you!" Ino said turning her eyes from the floor and her beer back to Yui. "You've been her only four days, and you're closer to him than I've ever been."

Yui avoided Ino's eyes and smiled inwardly. Not near as close as you think Ino-chan. Not anywhere near as close.

"And now…" she moved her eyes once more to the little two-person group that included Tenten and Naruto. The two seemed to have the exact opposite feelings of Ino.

Yui tentatively lifted one of her arms. It felt heavy as if it were made of lead. And softly she set it around Ino's shoulders and rubbed her arm. Ino sniffed. She didn't cry, as a Kunoichi she had seen her master die and felt more physical pain than most people could even imagine, so she would not cry.

"It will be fine Ino-chan…"

Ero-Sannin's plan is okay…Naruto's voice said in her mind, but I care about those girls. And I won't hurt them. Yui, this is the only real order I'm gonna give you.

When I screw up with them, help me fix it, make them remember I love them all.

"It will be fine…"

Xxxxxx.xxxxx.xxxxxX

Noumaki Yui's master; the best lay Tsunade of the Sannin had had in over twenty years; Anko's new student; Kakashi's Number One Hyperactive Surprise Ninja; and the current target of both Yamanaka Ino and the weapons Mistress Tenten; Uzumaki Naruto was flirting.

He realized what he was doing half way through his little talk with Tenten. He had seen Jiraya in many forms and with many faces.

Of those, he respected two the most. The first was the face Jiraya had when he was facing off against an enemy. The second, one Naruto himself had only seen once or twice in all their years together, was the one he had when talking to or about Tsunade. Yes the Toad hermit was a pervert and skirt chaser, but that didn't mean one woman held special for him. Naruto wondered slightly if that was how he looked now.

"So...you had sex with Tsunade-sama?" Tenten said absentmindedly.

"Yeah it was just a couple of-" Naruto stopped dead. He slowly turned his head and looked at her. "I mean…NO! NOT AT ALL!" he said a bit louder than needed, but thanks to Kiba's overzealous love of bass, no one batted an eyelash.

In fact Naruto now noticed that no one could even see them. They were in the corner, blocked from view not only by the open kitchen door but also by the large left speaker of his system. No one was looking at them as Yui was trying to convince Kakashi and Anko to cut Ino off and the others were busy sampling the main dish of sukiyaki that Chouji had just produced.

Naruto was all-alone.

…Somehow…somehow this is all Jiraya's fault…

"Don't play, Naruto, I know you did it," Tenten said as she got between him and the only way past the speakers.

Naruto's eye twitched, Why do all the women I know act like sexual predators with emphasis on predators with me? I mean is it so hard to find an unassuming shy girl like Hinata? Who would never do anything sexually threatening what-so-ever?

"What was it like Naruto-kun?" Tenten asked.

Naruto noted the unhealthy (for him) glint in her eyes. "I would not know seeing as I have NEVER even WANTED to see Tsunade naked."

First rule of being ninja caught off guard: Defend yourself anyway you can. If you cannot attack physically then do it with lies.

"AT ALL!" he added. He was yelling, but Kiba (damn him and his chew toys) kept pushing the bass and volume.

"Really?" Tenten asked. "So you never wanted to see those big round melons free?"

"NO NEVER!" Someone help me! Please! Anyone! HEAR MY PLEA!

Xxxxxx.xxxxx.xxxxxX

Ino's drunk.

Yui is worried about her.

Sakura is currently asleep.

And Temari is waxing her fan to the beat of her new Nin-pod (a late birthday gift from Gaara and Kankuro)

No one can help Naruto now…

Xxxxxx.xxxxx.xxxxxX

I hate whoever is doing this to me. I hope he dies! With Herpes! And if any jackass dares to give him any kind of aid he can expect a powered up Rasengan up his rasen-ASS!

As Naruto was about to let panic take him over something deep inside of him ticked on. It held up two pictures. The left showed Tsunade her fist curled her face in a glare, Naruto within her sights for not only failing a mission, but being on the mission in the first place when he should have been in the hospital.

That was one of the scariest things in Naruto's life.

However, the right showed Tsunade, peaking back at him after he had spanked her, completely under his will.

Tenten wanted to be like Tsunade.

Who was Naruto to not oblige his guests?

Tenten realized Naruto changed even before he asked her, "Why do you want to know Tenten-chan?" He stood straight up, being nearly five inches above her, his hands moved to his sides and rested in his pockets calmly.

If Yui had been paying attention instead of trying to get Ino to have some Sukiyaki, she would have smelled a change in the air. Naruto was releasing his own set of pheromones, not as strong as Yui's of course, but enough to make Tenten realize that she was no longer in control.

She tried to bluff, "Well it just seems odd for a guy to go after a woman nearly three times his age?"

"The word to take note of," he had heard that phrase from Jiraya, "is woman."

Tenten ruffled, "Are you saying I'm not a woman Naruto?"

He lifted one hand and held his chin. "Well I haven't seen any evidence to support that have I?" Also stolen from Jiraya.

Tenten smiled.

Xxxxxx.xxxxx.xxxxxX

The party began to wind down. Kakashi took note that no one was randomly banging on the floor, and held up his fist, which Anko hit with her own. They had successfully avoided anyone being affected by implanted aphrodisiacs.

And they had gotten some free Akamichi sukiyaki out of it.

Score.

"Hey Kaka-chan want to go to a bar later?"

Kakashi looked at Anko with his uncovered eye and blinked. "I don't know about-"

"ANKO-CHAN!" Shizune cried as she suddenly draped herself all over Anko. "I love your shnake shirt!" she said poking the snake, and in the process Anko's boob.

"Uh…thanks Shizun-" Anko looked into the eyes of the assistant to the Hokage and did not like what she saw. It reminded her of a time in the Land of Waves when Orochimaru-sama (as he would always be in her mind no matter what happens) saw an industrial size jar of all natural lube.

The only difference was Shizune was looking at Anko's breasts.

This isn't good…

Xxxxxx.xxxxx.xxxxxX

Naruto directed Tenten to his kitchen to sit as Chouji had come out waved and said goodbye as he left Naruto instructions on how to help the food keep, and went to see Tsunade. "Hey Tsunade-chan."

"Hello Naruto. This was a good party, even though I didn't get to see you," she said taking on a deadpan face. "At all."

Naruto laughed and rubbed the back of his head, "Well sorry Tsunade. I'm glad you had a good time."

She smiled and gave him a hug (burying his face in between the topic of his and Tenten's previous discussion). When she let him go, "Remember you start missions again tomorrow, so don't stay up too late alright?"

Naruto whined, "Ah…but Tsunade-chan!"

She huffed, even more when Joya stepped and spoke up, "Let's give the boy a day to recover eh Muni-hime?" Tsunade was about to say that it would really only take one night for Naruto to recover when Joya whisked her toward the door. "We'll see you Tuesday Naru-chan!" Tsunade balked as they left, but didn't put up as much resistance as she could have.

Naruto started when a hand slapped his shoulder. "Hey Foxy, good to see you won't be killed by an assassin's sneak attack eh?" he said grinning.

"Yeah…right…thanks dog-breath," Naruto said shrugging off the hand. "I'm so glad you could tear yourself away from the love of your life."

Kiba grinned, but with a little blush as Hinata smiled, "Kiba-kun actually taught me how to used the turntable," she said.

Naruto's eyebrows rose as he heard this. Kiba let someone else touch his turntable? Damn…"Speaking of which when will you take it back home?"

"I'll summon it back tomorrow so don't worry about it. Goodnight Foxy," he said as he went to the door and opened it for Hinata.

"Goodnight Naruto-kun," Hinata waved and then was gone. Naruto sighed. He turned and saw Yui walking toward him.

"What is it Yui-chan?" he asked.

Yui bit her lower lip, an act he had never seen her do before. "Ino-chan is a little…well she's a lot drunk. What should we do?"

Naruto looked toward the kitchen then at Yui. "I'll take care of it. You go and tell Tenten I'll see her soon okay?"

Yui nodded, if hesitantly, and went to do as she was told. Naruto went to retrieve Ino.

Xxxxxx.xxxxx.xxxxxX

Ino realized she was drunk when she was moving without moving her legs or body. She also knew she was being carried by someone. She looked up and saw that person had whiskers and blonde hair.

"Naruto?" she asked, her drunken speech made it sound like 'marumo?'

"Don't talk Ino-chan you drank too much," she could barely hear him, like through some kind of padding was in her ears. "I'm taking you home."

Ino hiccupped. She couldn't believe it. Naruto was talking her dunk ass home. She felt a little warm, even with the haze of alcohol on her. But she also felt a bit wretched. Naruto really had a chance to spend time with Tenten, and have a little bit of a relationship.

And she was ruining it.

"I'm…I'm shorry Naruto," this came out much clearer. Naruto started a little, almost tripping, but continued on to the back of Ino's home/shop.

"What for Ino-chan?"

"For being shuch a horrid bitch."

"Ino-chan-" Naruto held Ino up with one hand and pressed the doorbell.

"They're not home," Ino burbled.

"What?"

"They left to go play in the dirt with a daimyo," she sniggered a little, "It's open or should be…"

Naruto turned the knob and went in. He set Ino down and pulled her sandals off. After taking his own he picked her up again. Ino hoped he wouldn't turn on the lights. And he didn't much to her happiness. Now that she thought about it, she had never seen lights on after dark in their house. Well, Naruto and Yui may have good night vision, that's all.

"Where is your room Ino-chan?"

She stood under her own power, a bit shakily, and then fell against him. She breathed into his ear, as he was leaning down to help her "The top of the stairs, to the left."

She felt Naruto shudder and smiled.

He helped her limp upstairs, one step at a time, and then toward her room. As he opened the door and helped her in she stopped. "Something wrong Ino-chan?"

"Naruto…I…I know I'm drunk but…listen to me," her slur had mostly faded. The cold night air and the walk had helped her head clear a little. She pressed her body against him, which in truth was more letting herself fall and hoping he would catch her. "I…I'm sorry for all the things I've done over the past few months and years."

"Ino-chan…Listen I'm-"

"NO! Stop…I…I love you Naruto! I know it may be hard to believe because of what I've done but please give me a chance!"

"Ino-"

She cut him off by kissing him. Ino pressed her mouth hard against Naruto's in a drunken fury. It missed at first and she grazed one soft cheek before returning to his lips. They were almost too smooth. She felt Naruto stiffen as she kissed him. She felt like crying.

He didn't want her.

Naruto held her back and watched as tears crawled out of her eyes. "I'm sorry I'm not what you want. Just don't hate me! I…I had to tell you…Because…I don't know how the other girls feel. I wanted to let you know I'm sorry for what I did. I'm sorry for not being strong enough to tell you up front. Instead of being a woman and saying it I acted like a child and played all those tricks…taking away your chances.

"Even now you could be with Tenten but you went with me! I ruined it again!"

Ino sank to her knees and sobbed. Naruto went with her, lowering himself to her eye level again. "Ino-chan…listen to me," he hugged her and squeezed her. "I'm…it's not you. It's me." Tears pelted Ino's shoulder. Naruto's voice had changed. Had she been so drunk she didn't even notice it? And why was he so thin?

"What?"

"I'm not Naruto."

Xxxxxx.xxxxx.xxxxxX

Kiba yawned as he walked with Hinata toward the Hyuuga compound. They had taken the long way, through a grove of beautiful apple trees Hiashi's great grandfather had imported. They were in a flurry of blossom leaves, much like in the fall with the cherry blossoms.

Kiba blushed as he held Hinata's hand. In all the times he had been with her he doubted if she would look as beautiful as she did now. She had a slight blush, mostly from the beer she had drunk, and slightly from how close they were to each other.

They stopped at the center of the park, the halfway point.

"Thanks for coming with me Hinata," said the Inuzuka heir softly.

Hinata turned to face him and he followed, "Of course Kiba-kun."

Kiba bit his tongue slightly. He had to ask, he had been planning on asking this if she had gone on a second or even third date, but now he had to know.

"Hinata…I have to ask you something."

"Yes Kiba-kun?"

"Am I just a replacement for Naruto?"

Hinata started. Her eyes were wide and she looked aghast. She held Kiba's hand in both her own and leaned toward him. "Of course not Kiba-kun! Yes I wish I could be with Naruto-kun," that stung him a little, "But I know I could never make him happy. I can make you happy. And I will."

With a love filled stare that only someone as corny as Jiraya, or maybe even Gai would cry at, Kiba and Hinata embraced. He leaned back enough to kiss her. they turned a little and he pressed her against the greatest of the trees in Konoha.

Kiba accidentally brushed her rear and she blushed before looking at him. She smiled and kissed him again. Emboldened by her enthusiasm he returned his hand and squeezed her cheek with relish.

Hinata felt a tickle in the back of her mind but ignored it.

Kiba smiled into the kiss and gave Hinata a playful pat.

Hinata's eyes became wide and her mind exploded.

Her body unleashed a wave of chakra that sent Kiba backward. He cried out and coughed as he hit the ground. He sneezed out the dust and flower petals he had breathed in when Hinata had…well had she attacked him? No it was like a reaction to something.

Kiba's animal instincts, honed by the special training of his clan and the blessing bestowed on them generations ago by Inu-Kami the Shinto god, bellowed in fear. Every single atom of his body told him to run. To hide. To escape the deadly beast that was waiting in the dust cloud that had been Hinata.

They were screaming at him that whatever Hinata had done had caused the natural predator of Kiba's kind to awaken. It was a beast that would eat him and destroy him.

But it's Hinata! Hinata for god sakes! How can she-oh god…

The dust cleared and Hinata stood towering over him. Her height increased by the deadly looking spiked heels she now wore. Kiba saw that they were actually built in Kunai. It was almost funny. But Kiba only noticed those for a few scant seconds before returning to look at Hinata fully and realize something was fucked up.

It wasn't the fact Hinata's large, and quite lovely, pale breasts were exposed. It wasn't that Kiba had an eyeful of everyone of Hinata's private areas. It wasn't even the fact she had a paddle with a chibi Naruto spanking a chibi her.

It was that the outfit was the exact one he had pictured his mother would wear if she was a dominatrix.

Meaning it was doubly fucked up.

"Kiba-kun…" Hinata said as she held up her left hand, which held the whip Kiba had envisioned, and licked her middle and index fingers, "Have you been a good boy?"

Kiba didn't think the answer mattered.

Xxxxxx.xxxxx.xxxxxX

Nope, it didn't matter at all.

Xxxxxx.xxxxx.xxxxxX

I'm not Naruto. The very feminine voice had told her.

Ino's eyes, which had closed during her fit of crying flew open. She realized the person hugging her wasn't leaning down to be her height, they were her height. She pulled back and gawked at the face of a sullen looking Noumaki Yui.

She was crying as well. "I'm so sorry Ino-chan…"

"I…You…but Yui…if you're here…then where is Naruto?" Yui looked down at the floor. "Oh my god…he's with Tenten…isn't he?"

Yui nodded. She looked up and saw Ino was grinning, but not happily.

She put her face in her hands and sobbed loudly. "I'm so stupid!" she cried. "First I go after the worst possible example of family love in the history of men! And now…and now…"

She cried harder, until she felt Yui's arms embrace her. "I told you it's fine Ino-chan…"

She shook her head, face still buried in her hands, "No it isn't! Naruto is banging Tenten like a drum by now!"

Yui sweat dropped. "Maybe…but," Ino screamed and returned to crying. "but listen to me Ino-chan…you said you loved Naruto-sama right?" Ino nodded, "What if Tenten makes him happy?" Ino looked up at her. "Will that be worth it? Feeling this if Naruto-sama really smiles?"

Ino looked at her. She sniffed a little. "I don't know…I…I want to know that I'm not just jumping from man to man like a fad! What if I move on like Sasuke and the next guy is worse!"

Yui regarded her for a second. "Then maybe your problem is you're going after men."

Ino actually jumped a little. "What?"

Yui blushed, "Well Joya-sensei tried until she was thirty to find a man she loved, but she couldn't and when she tried to be with Tsunade-sama…she found what she was looking for."

Ino furrowed her brow as she looked into Yui's sky blue eyes. "What…what are you saying?"

Yui let her go and took hold of her face. "I'm saying that I want you to kiss sme again."

Ino shuddered a little. "Yui…what…what about Naruto…? I mean?"

"Naruto-sama is busy with Tenten-san. You don't have anyone. Give me a chance Ino-chan. I only bite when told to," Yui spoke softly.

Ino shuddered a gain, but when Yui pressed their lips together, actually pulling Ino into the kiss, she did not try to stop her. Yui broke the kiss and sighed a little. "Yui…I…I can't…"

Yui stopped her and stood, helping her up. "I know. I'm not a man remember? I only want a kiss on the first date." She winked and led Ino to her bed, helping her sit down and get under the covers.

"Yui…you…you can stay if you like."

Yui looked at Ino and smiled. As she slid under the sheets and hugged Ino to her she whispered, "Thank you Ino-chan."

As Ino watched Yui slowly drift off she heard her utter, in passing, "If you do anything wake me up first…" before she began to snore softly.

Ino blinked.

My life has become the L Word

A/N: BWAHAHAHAHAHA! NOW do you see why I did what I did? Do you see the twists becoming straight? Huh? No? well you really shouldn't because there arE MORE TO COME!

Anyway! In the next chaprer of Entwined Tails!: Naruto and Tenten bang! Shikamaru prepares for battle with the Trouble! Shizune tries to find her hangover medication and finds stuffed snakes instead! And Kiba is sent to the SER!

All in chaptrer 13 of Entwined Tails!

Dictionary:

1 (Kenbu Stereo System): The ultimate in home sound technology. Using special chakra absorbing plates it can increase its volume past 35. It can also function as a home defense system when given enough chakra.

2 (Three Terms): I know it always says three years, but considering how Naruto goes through a massive ass growth spurt from the beginning of the Rookie 9's school year and the end I've changed it to be 'terms' of two or three years.