A/N: Hello everyone! Once again if you are interested in being a beta (for this story and any others of mine) please send me a PM or email.

Thanks, MountainWind blowing away.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

Chapter 15

Here Comes Trouble

Together with Hinata

Tsunade took the spearhead and dashed into the compound, allowing space for Tsume to throw two large smoke bombs. The Sannin pressed her body against the outer wall of the complex. Tsume followed her in and crouched down on all fours. Joya was close behind her.

"I'm not good in battles right now. Kuromaru may come if I call but she'll find us faster," Tsume said. She sniffed. "Hinata…"

"Did you get her scent?"

"Yeah…she's coming…"

The smoke was blown away by a blast of energy either being pulled in or pushed out. Hinata stood at its center a Branch Family member's collar in her grasp. He was drooling and his eyes were spinning around in their sockets.

"Hyuuga Hinata! As Hokage of Konohagakure no Sato I demand you release him now!" Tsunade bellowed going straight into what Naruto called 'Bad-Ass-Obachan mode.'

Hinata looked at the guard. She returned her gaze to Tsunade, who noticed her eyes were smaller than normal, and smiled. She flipped the Hyuuga up and smacked him with her paddle, sending him flying over the compound wall to land among his fellows.

Tsunade's eye twitched. "So you wanna play bitch?" Hinata's eyes suddenly shrank and she made a flurry of hand-signs. "Uh…what is she doing?"

"That can't be…" Tsume whispered.

"What? You know what she is doing?" Tsunade asked.

"It's…well it's the basic principle for all Inuzuka family techniques. It uses Chakra to suppresses the human functions of the brain."

"Like when opening one of the celestial gates?" Joya asked.

"Yeah. And in essence since the queen is already instinct what we are facing is pure animal hunger to mate. And…well I hate to make a pun but…"

"GET ON WITH IT DAMMIT!" Tsunade and Joya roared at the same time.

"She has the ultimate, urge to merge!" Tsume said striking a pose.

"Tsume…if you weren't the commander of our hunting division I would-"

"I smell Naruto-sama…" Hinata whispered. Tsunade turned her head and looked at her. "Inside of you," she pointed with her free hand.

Tsunade leaned in toward Tsume, "I don't want to explain how but is it possible for her to smell that kind of stuff when it's…" Tsunade looked at her lower half.

"Well with enough Chakra and a sample of what she wants to find it's possible yeah…but first. Why do you have something of Naruto-" Tsume stopped as she understood what it meant for Tsunade to have something of Naruto inside her. "Oh my…Hey! Is it really-"

"TSUNADE LOOK OUT!" Joya cried.

Hinata dashed forward the end of the paddle forced into the ground. She dragged it causing a huge crater in her wake. Tsunade's eyes widened. She got under my guard like I was nothing more than a Genin…I…I don't think I can block that!

"No one will have Naruto-sama inside them BUT ME!" she swung her paddle and it exploded with chakra.

"TSUNADE-SAMA!" the ANBU cried as they watched.

There was a huge clash of energies as Hinata blinked. Tsunade was knocked back and gasped to see Joya standing between her and Hinata. "Shinmoku…god wood. It's a leafless tree only found in the uninhabited areas of the Land of Fire. It gathers sunlight in its porous bark and heartwood. When it's formed into a weapon, say like a paddle, and then charged with chakra the stored solar energy is turned outward.

"In short it is the best material for making wooden weapons. But the problem is Mistress Misfit…" Joya's arms were guarded by two huge shields, which she held by handles at their forward ends. "I have some Shinmoku weapons too!"

Xxxxxx.xxxxx.xxxxxX

The ANBU's medic blinked, "What are those? I've never seen weapons like them."

"They're the Oni-Tonfa," the commander replied.

"What?"

"Before Joya-sama became a medic ninja and a genjutsu expert she was known as 'Ogre Shield Joya.' Her shields could deflect any type of jutsu when charged with her chakra. She was always sent into dangerous missions with powerful weapon using enemies. But the shields she used when I saw them were much smaller.

"It appears, she got the patented Mist-Nin size upgrade."

Xxxxxx.xxxxx.xxxxxX

Joya charged her blocking arm with chakra and pushed Hinata's paddle away. Damn…it took more chakra than I have to spare to block one attack. And if what Dog-breath said is true she's not going to do the normal thing and be arrogant while gloating over my mortally wounded and, yet still slowly, dying body. She's going straight for the kill.

Arrogant enemies is how old farts like Tsunade and I have stayed alive so long. If only I was slightly more badass than I already am. But even then I couldn't kill her because it's not her fault that she's trying to kill and or rape me…wait…RAPE ME?!

Joya jumped out of the way of an oddly ended whip and gasped as it caused a crater two feet across. BUDDHA DOUGHNUTS! WHAT THE HELL?! How does she do that with a DILDO WHIP?!

She landed on a wall's edge and panted. "This is the weirdest battle I have ever been in. And I once fought a fishmonger using a broken fish tail. Wait…" Joya's eyes widened. "TSUME! I KNOW HOW TO STOP HER!"

Joya leapt again and clapped her hands together. The air became saturated in mist and Tsume grabbed her nose. "OH GOD!" a hand came over her mouth.

"Quiet you idiot. My scented mist won't keep her at bay for long. When you were a chunin you kept gloating about a special super sonic howling technique. Can you do it now?"

Tsume nodded.

"When I tell you, say this as loud as you can at seventeen degrees south by southwest," Joya whispered. "How much time?"

"Four seconds."

"Great. That's just enough time for her to use that paddle to break my assbone," Joya grunted vanishing into the mist.

Tsume began to gather chakra into her throat and vocal chords. It started to burn when she heard Joya scream. "Do it dog breath!…OH SHIT! DILDO WHIP!" an explosion sounded shortly after.

Tsume howled, screaming the words Joya had told her to.

The ANBU who had been about to attack, stopped dead. "Did she just…"

"Yeah she just said something about free…"

"Ramen…?"

Xxxxxx.xxxxx.xxxxxX

Inuzuka Tsume developed over fifteen techniques for her family. The Gatsuuga and Garoga are only two. There are dozens she constantly works on to help later generations and has not passed on because they are too dangerous for anyone who does not have her training to do.

The sonic technique Inumeisen (Dog Howl Strike), is but one of them. It can either be an attack or a signal for distress.

It can also be used to call in reinforcements.

Xxxxxx.xxxxx.xxxxxX

Hinata grinned as she pressed the edge of her paddle against Joya's throat. "You're kinda cute Joya-san. I wonder what you would look like with some bunny ears and a nice puffy bunny tail," she held up said items. Joya did not enjoy the look of the thing that would attach the bunny tail to her.

"Actually…I prefer a shark if you have it and you…" Joya's face blanched. "You…you have it…" Hinata's grin grew wider as she held up the shark tail, fin, and ball gag/false shark teeth. "I am so scared right now…" And she was. Shitless to boot.

The earth began to rumble. Hinata looked up. Her eyes flashed back and forth. They shrank to the size of pinpricks, then they widened and almost returned to their normal size. "What did you do?"

"I called in the bigger predator!" the ground began to shake violently as two forms came from the dust they had kicked up. "all 25 centimeters of him!"

Naruto came to a skidding halt with Yui by his side just inside the compound walls. His head whipped back and forth while his eyes looked up and down. "WHERE'S THE ICHIRAKU ALL YOU CAN EAT BUFFET!"

Tsunade fell over. "That's what you howled a moment ago?"

Tsume blushed. "I said that the Hyuuga were having a party and had hired out Ichiraku for the day…heh, heh…it's really Joya's idea and I think it's kind of brilliant. If Naruto doesn't pass out from blood loss from seeing Hinata with pierced nipples and an anally inserted kitty tail."

Tsunade sweat dropped, "There is that…"

Xxxxxx.xxxxx.xxxxxX

Naruto looked around. His nose twitched. "That's odd, I smell no delicious odor of Ramen. All that's around here is Hinata-chan in a BDSM suit lying on top of Joya and…" Naruto blinked and turned to Yui. "What did I just say?"

"You just said that all you see is Hinata-chan in BDSM clothing while lying in a sexy position on top of Joya-sensei," Yui answered.

"I doubt that I said sexy but yes. I did recall that Hinata…IS IN A BDSM SUIT?!" he screamed. "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!"

"Naruto!" Tsunade called running to him.

Naruto whimpered out, "Tsunade-Hinata…she's…in…with…a paddle and…ears and…" while pointing at Hinata.

"I know Naruto let me explain," she took a calming breath and made sure Hinata wasn't going to attack, "In short Hinata has gone into a combination sex craze and berserker rampage. She wants to bang you like a drum and is taking out anyone who stands in the way of keeping her from you or banging you first. She's fighting Joya because she smelled the sperm that you left inside me."

Say it loud enough for the damn gossiping ANBU can hear why don'tcha obachan?…Naruto grimaced. "Wait…why is your system so slow? We did it like three days ago. Not getting enough fiber Tsunade-chan?"

"MY FREQUNCY IN SHITTING IS NOT IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW!" she bellowed. When she heard the ANBU whispering to each other her face turned red. "Naruto you're the only one who can stop her."

"Why me!"

She hit him, "didn't you listen to me! That Queen form has been spawned from her desire to be with you! You made it. You have to destroy it!"

"I distinctly remember NOT turning Hinata into some sort of Bondage mistress!"

"You know," Joya called, "I'm completely fine pinned under the sex berserker and all. I mean being threatened to be turned into a bunny girl is totally cool. I haven't had this much fun in ages."

Naruto winced when he saw Hinata stand. Today started out fine. What horrid malevolent jackass of a force would condone this?! I mean…it's like my entire world has been fucked over! What am I supposed to…OH GOD HERE SHE COMES!

"Naruto…" Tsunade said putting a hand on his shoulder. He looked at her and felt a huge wave of strength, "Good luck," until she ran away.

"Naruto-sama, I'll stay behind you," Yui said.

"Thanks Yui right now I'll need all the help I can-"

"Around the other side of the wall," and thus she, too, ran away.

I haven't been this pissed off since everyone kept asking about Sasuke during the chunin exam! First I don't get any ramen, and now Hinata is…Hinata is…

Hinata is standing right in front of him. "Naruto-sama…"

"BUDDHA'S COFFEE SHOP!"

Xxxxxx.xxxxx.xxxxxX

Hyuuga Neji stopped climbing. He looked in the direction of Konoha. I have the feeling something that will make Hiashi-sama very angry at me is about to happen…oh well it can't be anything bad…He thought as he resumed climbing. What could the worst be? Hinata-sama having sex with Naruto?

Neji started to laugh.

In fact, he laughed for a very long time.

Naruto having sex with Hinata. That's almost as funny as Hinata becoming some kind of…dominatrix.

He laughed once more.

Until he remembered just how he got into the Land of Completely Fuck Nowhere.

His smile died like a squirrel on a truck-only interstate, "SHIT!" he climbed faster, scrambling in fact, just like a monkey would.

Xxxxxx.xxxxx.xxxxxX

"Naruto-sama…"

"BUDDHA'S COFFEE SHOP!" Naruto cried jumping back three feet. Hinata took a step and fell to her knees. "Uh…are you okay Hinata?"

"Naruto-sama…" she looked up at him. Naruto's face broke out in sweat. Hinata's eyes had returned to their normal size, however, her cheeks were beet red and flushed. She was panting and holding her bare breasts up with her hands clasped. "I'm more than okay now," she add huskily. "Tell me what to do Naruto-sama!" she said as she flung herself forward and kissed his feet.

"HEY STOP THAT!" She did at once. Naruto raised an eyebrow. "You'll do anything I say?"

She nodded.

Naruto went squint.

"Could…could you put some clothes on?" Naruto asked.

"Is my body not desirable Naruto-sama? Is…is it ugly?" A single tear fell down her cheek.

Sweet god…"No, no, no! you're very sexy Hinata…"

"Then why do you wish me to hide it if it is desirable to you?"

"Uh…well…it's…like a rule…I guess…"

"Naruto-sama…I only follow your rules. Do you want me to be not naked?"

Naruto's eye twitched, not unlike two older ninja. Okay…Jiraya never covered this when he taught about ethics…wait…yes he did…

…Back in the Day…

You see Naruto, you must only sleep with a woman when she is of her right mind.

What do you mean?

Not drunk, hypnotized, or under a genjutsu. Even if you are. Do you understand?

Tsunade can be drunk and yelling at me but you can't? isn't that hypocritical? Why do men have to be held to a higher standard than women?

BECAUSE THAT'S HOW MEN GET PUSSY NOW SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO MY WORDS OF WISDOM BRAT!

WORDS OF WISDOM MY WISECRACKING ASS OLD MAN!

BRAT!

PERVERT!

RAMEN BREATH!

FROG FUNK!

…Back to the present…

"Hinata. You're doing this to try and get me to have sex with you right?" he asked crouching down to meet her eye level.

She nodded.

"Well right now you're obviously whacked out and I've been taught not to have sex with women unless they are in their normal mind."

"In my normal mind I wouldn't have sex with you because of my own cowardice. This is my desire taking control, while I'm a bit…disagreeable it is till me."

Dammit…she has a point. And if this is a part of Hinata it may be even more Hinata than normal…I hope whoever gave me this choice gets drowned in doughnuts…"Listen Hinata…uh…we can't have sex…"

"Why not Naruto-sama? What must I do?"

Dammit man think!

I know! "Because we're out in public and that's exhibitionism and it's against the law!"

"But Tsunade-sama walks around with her breasts a lacey micrometer from popping out everyday! And she uses ninja jumps to get places!"

Does she have an answer for everything "Well it doesn't matter because no one can see all of them. HA I WIN! Go put clothes on!" Naruto said, triumphant, before pointing at her.

Suddenly Hinata's chakra level rose and she clapped her hands together. "NARUTO!" Yui and Tsunade cried as the two were engulfed in smoke. When it cleared a dark, carnival-esque tent was around them.

"Damn she comes prepared eh Muni-hime?" Joya asked.

"Yeah…I'll say…I guess the Queen is also Hinata's ninja side…"

"Now Naruto-sama? Please? Let me show you how well I can do!"

"What…HEY! Not there Hinata! SHIT!"

Hinata gasped, "Naruto-sama! You are the Big Fox in town."

"THAT IS NOT FUNNY! Hinata…what is…THAT?!"

"It is a special Hyuuga family tradition…"

"GET THAT AWAY FROM ME!" Naruto tore out of the tent and ran behind Tsunade.

"Naruto…you're not doing very well for trying to stop her," Tsunade said looking at him.

"She's trying to pour sake on me…" Naruto grumbled from behind the Sannin.

"Naruto-sama!" Hinata cried chasing after him. Tsunade grabbed Naruto and threw him at her. Hinata caught on the fly and huggled him before returning to her kneeling pose and taking out a rather Tsunade-sized bottle of Sake.

"I'd see why he's scared…" Joya commented.

As Hinata pulled out the cork and set the bottle down she reached for Naruto's pants.

"HOLD ON A SECOND!" Naruto screamed.

SEN'EIJASHU (Hidden Shadow Snake Hand)

From the sky to the left and right of Hinata came eight snakes. They wrapped around her limbs and sank their fangs into her upper arms and thighs. She gasped a second before her eyelids grew heavy and she fell against Naruto, who caught her.

Anko and Kakashi landed and retracted the snakes from the now unconscious Hinata. "Their venom won't last long we need to tie her up and take her somewhere we can handle her," Anko said as she and Kakashi got to work doing just that. "Tsunade-sama we'll need a special room in the Interrogation department."

Tsunade nodded and motioned for the ANBU squad to help them. She noticed Naruto was sneaking away from both Hinata and the bottle of Sake. "NARUTO!" He jumped. "You're going with them. Yui you too."

"Why me?" Naruto sounded as if he was going to cry.

"Because you're the only one who can change her back," he whimpered at the prospect of Sake as some sort of impromptu lubrication. "I don't think you'll have to have sex with her Naruto…not completely anyway."

"Tsunade...do I have to? HEY TSUNADE!" Naruto whined as he followed her, Joya, and Tsume to the Interrogation HQ. "WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME?!"

Xxxxxx.xxxxx.xxxxxX

In the Land of Just To The Left of the Land of Completely Fuck Nowhere…

"I'M COMING HINATA-SAMA!"

Xxxxxx.xxxxx.xxxxxX

Naruto grimaced. Hinata had been tied to a chair using Chakra absorbing ropes and she looked an odd combination of both pissed and happy. And she was, for lack of a better word, leaking.

"Naruto-sama…did you tie me up?" she wiggled in the chair trying to get to him. "Because the ropes are so tight," she did not sound as if this was either a problem or something she wanted him to rectify.

God this is almost a nightmare…"So…I just have to…y'know touch her?" he asked a huge one-way mirror on the far wall.

"Yes," Tsunade's voice came from a special hidden speaker, "Just get her to orgasm and she should return to normal."

"Should?" Naruto squeaked.

"Remember Naruto," he heard this from Joya, "The Queen is Hinata's desire. If her desire is fulfilled the queen will sleep. Just don't touch any part of her ass when she becomes Hinata again or you'll have to do everything from the top…or bottom depending on how you look at it."

"Why are making jokes at a time like this?!" he growled.

"Stop being a weenie and touch her dammit!" Anko said this.

"Why are you watching?!"

"Because Naruto,"

"KAKASHI?!"

"Yo. We're watching because…well…" there was a pause, "I have all the other embarrassing moments of your life on Video, why not this one too?"

"FUCK YOU AND YOUR CAMERA TOO GOD OF ZOOM FEATURE!" Naruto yelled.

"Naruto-sama we are wasting time and the ropes are about to break," Yui said pointing to them. Naruto gasped and glared at said ropes. They were indeed about to break. Hinata was feeding chakra into them.

"Naruto, she's breaking them by overfilling them with chakra. Do it now for God's sake…" Anko grunted.

Dammit. Why do I get stuck taking orders from Nympho-sensei even now?…Naruto sighed and scooted close to Hinata. He reached out his hand and winced as if about to put it in the mouth of some kind of many toothed monster.

"Weenie, weenie, weenie," Anko started to chant.

"SHUT UP! You want to come in here and do it?!"

"Only if Naruto-sama doesn't have the balls to touch her…WEENIE!"

"FINE DAMMIT! I'LL SHOW YOU HOW IT'S DONE!" Naruto roared he reached out just as Hinata broke free. She stood up, going toward him at a surprising speed and caused Naruto to trip. Naruto fell straight into Hinata's breasts.

Xxxxxx.xxxxx.xxxxxX

"Wow…good aim…" Joya commented.

You see, as Naruto fell he cried out. He opened his mouth and Hinata's forward movement caused her breast to meet his mouth in mid-trip.

To put simply, Naruto fell at just the right angle to swallow Hinata's pierced nipple whole.

Good aim indeed.

Xxxxxx.xxxxx.xxxxxX

Hinata's face turned so red it was actually glowing. "Naruto-sama…he's…his mouth is…on my…Oh dear."

Steam exploded from Hinata's ears and filled the room. When it cleared Naruto was standing dazed over a completely normal Hinata.

"That was the weirdest moment in my life. I do not wish to repeat it, so…FIX HER AND KEEP HER AWAY FROM ME!" Naruto screamed as he charged toward, through, and out the door. Yui followed, not before bowing the mirror, and ran after her master.

"Well I better go make sure that Hinata's not completely out of chakra," Tsunade sighed as she went through the Naru-door. Joya followed her.

"I'm going to go see Kiba in the Hospital," Tsume groaned as she left. "I'm too old for this shit…"

Kakashi and Anko stood together and looked at each other and then turned around and saw the tiny blinking camera that was place so it looked between them and saw everything that happened in the other room.

"Let's go. Jiraya's going to find us sooner or later and I'd rather not be in a place built for torture when he gets here," Kakashi commented as he grabbed the camera and left.

"Sure Kaka-chan," Anko agreed following him.

Xxxxxx.xxxxx.xxxxxX

Kakashi and Anko were walking down Konoha's main street when a shuriken landed at their feet, right between them. The two jounin looked up and saw a certain grinning Toad Hermit.

"Yo," he said ticking off his fingers. "I heard Naruto's been busy while I was…" he grimaced, "indisposed."

"Don't play us Jiraya!" Anko said pointing at him. He took on his 'huh?' face. "I know you set the thing with Hinata up so Naruto would have sex with her!"

"Hyuuga Hinata? Damn the kid's moving faster than I thought!" Jiraya said as he held his chin.

"LISTEN TO ME DAMMIT! Naruto is my responsibility now so if there's any fucking going on I want a part of it or some forewarning!" she said putting one hand on her hip, whilst still pointing.

"Actually Anko, Jiraya didn't do anything to Hinata," Kakashi said.

"What?" Anko asked, her face very much like Naruto's.

"Jiraya hasn't been doing anything to the girls around Naruto. He's not been doing anything actually. Believe me. I've been scheming more than he has," Kakashi explained as he leapt up to the rooftop to sit with Jiraya. Anko quickly followed. "Where have you been anyway?"

Jiraya grimaced, "A name…Inuzuka Tsume. I tried to put some extra alcoholic beer into the normal cans, but she…detained me."

"By detained…you mean?"

"Secret Inuzuka clan sex maneuvers…" Jiraya whispered. "don't tell anyone else, but I've been trying to get my chakra back for the last day and a half. She drained me dry. In more ways than one."

"You don't have luck with older women do you?" Kakashi asked.

He flapped his hand in a dismissive gesture, "Why do you think I only go after twenty-year-olds? They barely know what to do with their own hands. Women like Tsume and Joya are closer to sex-demi-gods than women. I'm shamed by how well they beat me."

Kakashi resisted the urge to make a scathing comment, Anko was bound by no such restriction, but she just laughed. "Okay…" she said after fifteen minutes and some deep breathing, "So what have you been planning? Fill me in I'm sure I could help being Naruto's commander and all," she said grinning.

"I don't know…this is a man's scheme," Jiraya said.

Anko grunted, her forehead displaying a rather large vein. "Let's see how much of a man you are Jiraya!" she growled as she punched the palm of her hand.

Jiraya winced and looked for Kakashi. "Help me!" he grunted. Kakashi melted into a Mizu Bunshin (Water Clone) TRAITOROUS DOG!

"Where did I keep that lube?"

NO! NOT THE LUBE!

A/N: My personal Homage to Never Cut Twice my favorite Naruto Nuke-Nin fiction. also my fav NaruxTema story on here. It's one of my favorites number 45 when you click on CATEGORY and number 47 when you just click FAVORITES.