A/N I'm sorry for not updating for so long, it's not my usual behaviour. I'll try to be better the next time ;)

I was quite surprised that some of you found the ending of previous chapter as a cliffhanger, it was never meant to be that way. It was just that at that point it was all I had to say from Paul's POV, it was time to switch back to Bella's. Anyways, I'm sorry, and I promise to try to avoid cliffies in the future ;)

Chapter Sixteen

The kiss was unexpected. I was still confused and mad at myself for saying those horrible words to Paul. I had told the truth, but not all of it. On some level, I actually enjoyedthe fact that I was destined to end up with Paul, but I was scared to admit it. Even to myself.

What kind of person am I? I had sworn to love Eward for the rest of my life and now what? I was considering being with someone else? That made me some sort of a liar and proved that I'm not constant. But I wanted to be. I felt torn between my promise to always keep Edward in my heart and my growing feelings toward Paul.

But the moment he kissed me, my mind went blank. First – the surprise. It took me a moment to remember Paul's promise to shut me up this way when I apologize again. Was that the only reason he did it?

I felt so many of his emotions in the way his lips touched mine. There was pain and there was passion. At some point I thought I felt anger. I wondered if he could feel all of my emotions, which now were mostly confusion and embarrassment.

No one has ever kissed me like that. With Edward it had never gone so far, he was always too cautious, too afraid to hurt me. With Paul it was a completely different situation. He pressed me against himself firmly. With an arm around my waist he had a good hold of me, and I was comfortable. The touch of his lips felt rough and tender at the same time. His body heat made me feel very warm, and at the same time I felt shivers run down my spine.

My mouth was still open due to the surprise, and Paul was totally using that. Slowly and firmly his tongue explored mine, and while a part of me wanted to protest, the other part wanted to dive into the sensation.

I didn't know how long it's been just him kissing me without me answering. I felt regret, because I didn't want to be this passive, I wanted to participate. Throwing all of my caution and doubts away, I threw my arms around his neck and felt him stiffen for a moment. Then he wrapped his other arm around my waist and pulled me closer.

If I realized what I was doing, I would've blushed bright red, but at the moment I didn't think , I just gave into my feelings. As my lips kept moving against his, I concentrated on the happiness I felt, it was similar to the way I felt when he hugged me, but a million times better.

I couldn't tell if I was still kissing Paul because I enjoyed it, or just because it helped me get rid of all the unpleasant thoughts that usually filled my head. Right now, when I was being embraced by him, I couldn't think of Edward, of Alice, of my pain. The only one whose picture still stayed in my mind, was Paul. And his lips moving against mine in this sensual rhythm was the only thing that mattered.

As much as I didn't want to stop, I couldn't ignore the raindrop that landed on my nose. And apparently neither did Paul. Slowly, as if unwillingly, he pulled away, taking the intoxicating woodsy taste of his lips with him. As I opened my eyes I found myself looking in his chocolate eyes, and there was an emotion behind them that intrigued and scared me at the same time. For a while we just stood like that, me studying his eyes and him doing the same to me.

The rain became more intense and Paul looked up in the sky, worried.

„Come on, you'll catch a cold or something." His voice was still husky from the kiss when he grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the woods.

I could swear I felt electricity run through my body when his skin touched mine.

„Yeah.. Right.." Well, it seems that mine is just as husky. I cleared my throat.

In a few minutes we had reached the trees, but by that time I was completely wet, water was dripping from my hair and clothes.

He let go of my hand and looked at me carefully.

„You're cold." That was more a statement than a question.

„I'm.. No, I'm fine, it's not that bad." For a moment I was afraid that he would throw his arm around my shoulders to keep me warm. If I wanted to keep my sanity with me, I have to stay away from direct contact with him.

Paul looked at me with the same searching look again, after studying my features he simply shrugged.

„Okay."

I nodded, wondering if he had seen my thoughts displayed on my face.

„So, uhm, I think I should get going. It's getting late, and Charlie will be wondering where I am, and.." I was cut off by Paul laughing.

„You don't have to look for excuses to leave." Did I actually catch an edge of sadness in his voice or was I just hoping to hear that?

„Come on, I'll walk you to your truck." With that he turned away and started walking.

„Paul, wait!" Again I tasted the sweetness of his name on my lips.

He stopped but never turned to look at me. I reached him, but didn't have the guts to go around him to face him. And so we stood, him staring somewhere in the woods and me standing a bit behind him, trying to make my messy thoughts into a coherent sentence.

„Paul," I couldn't resist having his name on my lips once more „I'm just too confused to even look at you right now." He turned to face me and I blushed instantly, looking away. „See."

He laughed again, but this time I didn't detect any sadness.

„You know, there is one thing not that bad about this imprint. I do enjoy the impact I have on you."

„And I thought my blushing and mumbling was annoying."

„It is. Really annoying. But the fact that I can still make you uncomfortable proves me that I'm still in control of some things."

„What do you mean?"

He sighed and didn't answer. He just motioned me to start walking. I thought he was just gonna ignore my question, but after a while Paul spoke again.

„You see, the imprint bonds me to you. It's like even though I find you incredibly annoying and sometimes really.. uhm, weird, I still enjoy your company." He flinched as if mentally slapping himself. „And the imprint makes me say all kinds of stupid fluffy things." He added with a small smile.

I nodded, thinking of Paul I used to know, the one I never thought could talk about his feelings.

„And since I still make you uncomfortable, it means that a part of old me is still around. I'm just glad the imprint didn't make me all nice and soft."

I tried to imagine a sweet and nice Paul, and to my surprise I didn't like what my imagination brought me.

„Was it supposed to be like that?"

„I don't know. It changed Sam and Jared." He laughed as if remembering something. „Maybe it wasn't that much of a change with Sam, he used to be a nice guy before, all romantic and in love with Leah. But Jared used to be a total asshole. Sometimes even worse than me." I found myself smiling widely and when Paul caught that, he smiled back. Again I could feel the electricity in the air.

„And so what, he instantly became super romantic and nice?"

„Kind of. I mean, he is still a jerk in our heads, sometimes I feel like ripping his fucking head off, but when he thinks of Kim... Let's just say, sometimes I practically feel him pouring sugar into my head."

I laughed. I was surprised to be so comfortable around Paul, after the hug and the kiss normally I would have been uncomfortable and eager to leave. Now I felt relaxed, my mind was light and didn't allow me to think about anything that wasn't good for me.

„And, uhm, what about you?" As the words left my mouth, I felt regret for asking. Did I actually just ask Paul to share his feelings. But still, I wanted to know. Apart from the few phrases he had said, I couldn't fully understand how he felt about the whole thing.

„I hate this. I hate that I'm forced into imprinting. I hate that I imprinted on you." He must have noticed the look of pain I knew was now sprawled across my face. Paul sighed and rolled his eyes. „Not because you're not worth it. Because you're hung up on your leech." He shook his head. „Sorry, but I don't think any good can come out of being imprinted on a girl who wants to become a bloodsucker."

„I don't." I whispered and shocked myself. It was just now that I realized – I didn't want to become a vampire. Somewhere deep in my mind Jacob's words about the 'warm nice puppies' had found a fertile soil, and even though I've never been the type to want a bunch of kids, I still didn't want to lose the option.

„What?" Paul seemed to be as shocked as I was.

„I don't think I want to become one of them anymore."

„Why not?"

„Well, what's the point? It's not like anyone of them wants me to." It felt weird to be talking about my feelings with Paul, but I couldn't hold myself back. „He doesn't want me. At all." I felt tears make their way to my eyes.

„I'd be more than willing to kill that bastard, you know."

„W-why?"

„Isn't that obvious?" Paul looked at me with a sly smile. „He's a leech." To my surprise, I had to laugh at that. Just like that Paul made all of the sad thoughts go away, the warmth of his smile scared away every nasty thought my mind was about to give me. I would've felt worse if Paul had said something about Edward hurting me. I was afraid of Paul expressing his affection towards me, it would open a door to the room where I kept all my feelings for him. And I was afraid of them.

We went the rest of the way quietly, and when we finally reached my truck, the rain had stopped.

I stopped and saw Paul stop few feet away. Onc more, I was so grateful for him keeping the distance.

„Uhm, I guess I'm glad I ran into you today." My words made Paul look at me with wide eyes.

„Yeah, uhmm.. yeah." It must be the first time I've heard Paul stutter. I smiled.

Without saying anything else, I made my way to the truck while Paul stayed where he was. There was no way I wanted to leave him now, I found his presence too safe and comfortable. And warm. Even though I could feel his coldness towards me, it was still warm.

Physically it was warm as well. As I go into the car, I suddenly felt how cold I was. I guess walking next to Paul kept me warm, and now that I was alone, I didn't think the heater in my truck could stop me from shuddering.

With trembling hands I started the truck, when the noise of the car door opening startled me. Paul hopped into the car as gracefully as his size allowed. When I gave him a questioning expression, he simply shrugged.

„I would have still followed you." And then there was the sly smile again. „Plus, I am hot after all."

With a small laugh, I started driving and my hands weren't trembling because of the cold anymore. They were trembling because of the incredibly handsome werewolf-guy sitting right next to me.