A/N Wow! I mean, really WOW, your reviews are amazing, I can't even describe how happy I am that you read this story and take your time to leave me a review. Thank you SO much! :) Honestly, when I started this, I could've never hoped to get this kind of attention and appreciation! And also thank you for complementing my English, that's like music to my ears :)

Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to take some time to answer some of your reviews. Those of you, who don't want to read this, just skip right to the story ;)

HappyKitty95 wrote that after imprinting, the pain of other disappears, and it's impossible to cry over someone else. Well, I think that Paul is the one without any choice, but since Bella can choose what to do with her life, she isn't that committed, she can still feel pain of others. Plus, I'm trying to be as close to reality as I can, SM had created Bella's love towards Edward really strong and intense, it can't go away this easily. That just wouldn't be Bella, if she forgot Edward and fell for Paul instantly ;)

teamswitzerland08 Thanks for commenting on the quotation marks, but I kind of don't pay much attention to them, I'm really not that good with computer and all of it's stuff, so I basically just put the quotation marks, and they turn out to be wherever they want to be :D

tehe Thanks for writing down your thoughts so methodically. You have mentioned many things that I've been planning to do. They are going to have conversations, but before that they have to get at that point where they are comfortable enough with each other – and that's what I'm trying to do with taking things slowly. I'm letting things be calm and slow, because I'm afraid to rush them. And about making out – as I see it: kissing is a physical thing for them, I guess physically they are more comfortable with each other, their minds are what hold them back. It's like – they are more comfortable with being together physically than opening up to each other emotionally ;)

BreithePixieCupcake had some questions. Well, knowing Paul's temper, how do you think he would react if Bella told him that Jasper tried to eat her? :) I mean, Paul freaking out in her kitchen isn't the thing Bella's dreaming about :D About Edward coming back – well, I guess we would need him back for some kind of closure, right? I just don't know how's that gonna happen yet, I mean, once I already said that when I finish a chapter, I don't know what's gonna happen next – I just write, and everything comes naturally. So, I can't tell you much about their future, I know there is going to be a happy ending, I just don't know how we're gonna get there ;)

And all of you, who I didn't mention here – thank you VERY much! Each and every one of your reviews gives me the will to continue and make you happy with the next chapter! You can't imagine how grateful I am to have such wonderful readers! :)

Now, enough with the babbling around, let's get down to the story!

Chapter Nineteen

This time he was the one surprised. I couldn't say that I wasn't surprised at all, but still, I felt that Paul was totally taken aback by my actions. For a moment he just stood there, his eyes wide open, his lips not moving. Then his hands moved to cup my cheeks and he closed his eyes. My hands were on his waist. I knew he was still angry, I could feel that in the way he kissed me, his touches grew more and more intense. At some point his hands shifted to my waist and I found myself pressed against the wall. Luckily, Paul wasn't pressing his whole body against me, he was giving me some space. Space, that I didn't know if I wanted.

Out of those three kisses we have had, this was the hottest one. I don't know if that was his anger of my sudden initiative, but something made this one so different from the other two. I was so lost in the kiss that I couldn't hold in a small whimper that escaped my lips when Paul moved away. His breathing was fast and his voice husky when he whispered:

„I think something's burning." Yeah, my insides. I couldn't remember ever feeling this hot.

„Shit, the dinner's in the oven!" I spat as my shaky legs led me to the kitchen. I rushed to the oven, hoping that it wasn't ruined completely. Lucky for me, just one side was ruined a bit, the dish was still edible. I guess Paul's senses were high enough to notice the tiniest smell of burning.

Speaking of Paul, he was still in the hallway. I couldn't hear him and hoped he hadn't left. I wanted to go and check, but couldn't gather up the courage. To cool off a bit I decided to splash some cold water on my face. When I turned off the water and dried my face, I almost jumped up from surprise since Paul was sitting in his old spot by the table. He was watching me carefully and I was staring back, not being able to look away. Finally he spoke.

„Why'd you do that?"

„What?"

„That."

„Umm.. I don't know." Why did I, really? I couldn't find an explanation. Damn, I couldn't even remember what I thought when I kissed him. It's just that at that moment I saw only him and his anger. He was showing his temper and something inside of me couldn't resist. I had to kiss him, there was no other way to calm him down. Did I have some kind of inner alarm that went off every time he got pissed off in my presence? I hoped not, it was too creepy to imagine what would I do if he got even angrier. I shook my head.

Paul was looking at me. His head tilted and eyebrows lifted. The sight of him was curious, but I tried to ignore the amusement in his eyes and study his features, looking for some trace of anger. And found nothing. I furrowed my eyebrows and continued staring at him, trying to figure things out.

„Hey, Earth to Bella! Why are you looking at me like I've grown a third eye or something?"

I stayed quiet.

„You didn't answer my question."

„This is not how I'd bee looking at you if you grew a third eye."

„Ha ha. Wrong question." He went quiet and studied my face again. „I mean, why'd you kiss me. You're not that forward, not that I mind you throwing yourself at me like that, but that's just not... you."

I sighed. „I don't know. I felt you getting angry and I thought that was the right thing to do." The only thing to do. „I acted on impulse."

„What do you mean?"

„Well, it's like I knew that would calm you down. You are calm now, right?"

„Yes."

„Maybe that's some kind of imprint thing?"

„Maybe." Paul answered seriously. And then his special sly grin appeared on his face. „Does this mean you'll be all over me every time I get pissed off? I could get used to that."

I blushed and looked away, pretending to ignore him. „Hungry?"

„Do you really expect me to say no to that?"

„I guess not." I said with a smile as I took two plates out of the cupboard.

We were quiet for the next fifteen minutes. Paul was too busy with the food, meaning – too busy to tease me any longer. While he ate with great appetite, I was picking my food and trying to sort out my own thoughts.

What was that that made me kiss Paul? I felt like it wasn't me, like it was something inside of me, something tiny yet a big part of my being. I remembered Paul talking about the wolf inside of him. Could it be that there was something similar with me? Like, did I have some tiny tiny animal inside of me, that took control of my instincts, and sometimes made me do things? The thought seemed funny, but quite real at the same time. I decided, it would be good to ask Emily about it.

I haven't met the rest of the pack after imprinting. Well, actually, I have, but back then I didn't know anything. I was worried whether they would accept me. It was one thing being Jacob's pale faced friend, and something different – being Paul's pale faced imprint. Would they accept me knowing that I'm not actually one of them? It was hard to believe that someone as nice as Emily could be mean to me, but I still found it possible. Not realizing it, I've managed to make myself nauseous. I didn't know that being accepted by the pack was such a big deal for me.

„Why such a sour face?" With all my thinking I hadn't noticed that Paul was already done with his food and was now looking at me with worried look in his eyes. „What's wrong?"

„Nothing." I answered, swallowing back tears. Boy, I have become such a wuss, crying over almost everything. But in this case the pain felt real. I stood up hurriedly to take away the dirty dishes, so that Paul wouldn't notice my watering eyes. No such luck, since he caught my arm as I was about to move away.

„I swear, I'm gonna phase in your kitchen and fucking mess the place up if you don't tell me why you're crying again."

„I'm not..."

„Cut out the bullshit. What's wrong?" His words were rough, but his tone was still soft and he held my wrist very gently. I could only imagine how much of self control that cost him.

„It's nothing, really."

„Well, it has to be something. Even though you are weeping over almost everything, I can tell that this time it's something important." He was pleading now. „Please."

„It's just.. I'm just thinking about the pack."

„What about them?"

„Well.. What if they don't want me?"

„No one's asking them what they want."

„Paul, I'm serious. I mean, they are like your family, they are important to you, and I just don't want to be between you and them."

He sighed and instead of letting my arm free, he took the other one in his hand as well. „Bella, first of all, they like you. You should know it by now. And second..."

As he went silent, I waited for him to continue. But he kept quiet, I nudged him. „Second, what?"

Again he sighed. „You may not realize it yet, but you are my life now. They are important, but not like you."

I was taken aback. I had never seen this side of Paul before. I couldn't have even imagined that he could be so honest about his feelings. He blew me away. I was speechless. I was still looking in his eyes, and he was looking back, his eyes felt as warm as I've never seen them before, I was melting. I was falling. For him.

A smile appeared on his lips as he said. „Chief's here. And if I don't want to act as if I'm afraid of him, I better go." He pressed his lips lightly on my forehead and moved towards the back door. As he moved his hand away from mine, I caught his wrist and looked at him with a question in my eyes. I didn't even know what the question was, but he knew the answer. „I'll be here." And he was gone.

I heard Charlie yell his hello's from the hallway as I rushed to put the dirty dishes in the sink. Right now Charlie's hints regarding my personal life were the last thing I wanted to hear.

„Hey there, Kid." He greeted walking into the kitchen. „Ah, I see you aren't trying to starve me to death." He added as I placed his plate on the table. „Smells good."

I was keeping myself busy with making a tea for myself so that I wouldn't have to come face to face with Charlie. His trained sight would immediately notice something weird about me, and I didn't want to hear any of his questions. But I wasn't that lucky.

„Hey, guess what I heard in the grocery store on my way home?"

„Don't know. What?" I asked, taking the tea cup in my hand, and finally facing Charlie.

He gave me a sly smile. „It turns out my daughter has a habit of making out on the parking lot." As I almost spat out the tea, he added. „Guess with who?"

I was still busy trying not to choke on my tea, so Charlie answered himself. „People say it was some native guy. Half naked." He then pretended to be deeply in his thoughts. „Or maybe it was you that was half naked, I can't quite remember." This time the tea made it's way into the sink. I coughed. It seemed like Charlie was having fun making me choke on my food. Yesterday the pizza, now this.

I was surprised by the joking tone he had. Had it been a rumor that Edward and I were making out somewhere, both of us being dressed in skiing costumes, he would've freaked out and given me a year of house arrest.

As if not noticing my reaction, he continued. „I also heard that the Cullens are coming back in town, and Edgar is going to propose, but I'm guessing that's just a silly rumor." And then he added in a serious voice. „Right?"

I could simply nod. I knew the rumors would spread, but I never thought they would reach Charlie so soon.

He was already done with his dinner, and stood up to take his plate to the sink. I took it from him. „Thanks, Bells, it's nice to have someone to feed me." As I nodded, he gave me a small smile and went to the living room.

I was replaying the weird conversation we just had in my head. Was that some kind of wicked way to tell me he was okay with me dating Paul? And even making out with him in public? I shook my head. Things would be so much easier if Charlie and I were better at talking about out feelings and thoughts with each other. I sighed. But, well, since we're both incredibly uncomfortable talking about that, we'd just have to stick to the code-talk.

I finished cleaning up and headed upstairs. I paused as I reached my bedroom door and decided to go have a shower now. It was too early to go to sleep, I still had some homework to do, but I thought it would be nicer to do that being clean, in my bed.

I took a quick shower, brushed my teeth, washed my face. Put on my warm pajamas and I was ready to go and study. Or daydream of Paul, that's more real.

Turned out it wasn't necessary to daydream at all. Opening the door to my room I was startled by his gorgeous body leaning against the windowsill. I paused, then went in and closed the door with a smile. Luckily I was backside to him and he didn't see me smiling like an idiot. As I turned to face him, I made sure to have a question written on my face.

He laughed. „What? I told you I'd be here." The sly smile again. „Or should I go?"

I guess I shook my head too fiercely, since he started laughing again. I realized I liked his laugh. I felt like I was ready to trip over nothing again and again just to hear that.

As I went over to sit on my bed, I happened to walk by Paul and I could swear I heard him snuff the air. As I was still trying to tell if that was reality or my imagination, he spoke.

„You know, you finally got rid of that leech's reek." Was that his way of telling me to shower more often? He must have noticed the look on my face, as he continued. „I mean, that stink doesn't come off so easily. Took you a few days."

„How could you even stand being next to me if it's that bad?"

Paul chuckled. „Had to." Then he went serious. „So, are you okay? About what we were talking before?" And I had hoped this wouldn't come up. Honestly, I never thought he would bring that up. I would have never thought he could be so cool about displaying his feelings, it's like showing the world that you're weak and vulnerable, and I was sure Paul wanted to seem as the tough one. So I was quite taken aback by this honesty.

„Yeah, I guess, I am." He lifted an eyebrow. „Really, I am." And then I added, not quite knowing, why. „But, still..."

„Still what?" Instantly, he was by my side, pulled up a chair to sit on. Now he was right in front of me with worry in his eyes. „Come on, what?"

I was surprised by this forwardness. „It's..."

„If you say it's nothing, I'm gonna go phase in front of Charlie."

„I'm just wondering why me? I mean, from all the quileute girls, why me? A pale face and leech lover?" He hissed. „What? Weren't you calling me in those names just a few days ago?" Why was I confronting him like this now?

„Do you think I know why?" He sighed. „And what's the point of even wondering why? What's gonna change?"

„Nothing, I guess." I looked away from him. „I just can't understand why it's me. I'm a mess, and everyone knows that. Jake was patient enough to try fixing me, but I'm still broken."

Paul was being quiet, his lips pressed together tightly. It seemed like he was doing his best to hold himself together. That set me off and I got going.

„I mean, I'm not worth your time. Anyone's time. I'm a disaster, I trip over nothing, I'm messy, I mumble a lot and then there's that stupid blush at every little thing. Hell, I'm not even pretty." I stopped to get a breath. „And honestly, I'm just sorry for you, because you got stuck with such a catastrophe."

I heard Paul inhale sharply. I could tell he was pissed. I didn't know what to expect from him at this point. It took me by surprise when he grabbed my wrist and pulled me up fast. He dragged me to the mirror, and turned me to face it.

„Repeat what you just told me."

„I said I'm not worth..."

„If you seriously mean that, you're dumb. And I thought you were smart." I was trying to get away, but he was holding me tight, looking over my shoulder, pressing himself against me. „Look at yourself. You're not quileute, you're a pale face. So what? It just makes your blush look nicer. I'm not a racist, if that's what you're wondering about. And you are pretty. Fuck, I could even tell you you're beautiful if you believed me. Do you really want to be perfect?" He waited for my answer. „Do you?"

I shook my head, swallowing the tears.

„And if that stupid bloodsucker didn't love you, it's not your fault. He's dead, you can't rely on a dead guy's opinion. You can hate yourself all you want, but I don't think that's ever gonna bring you any good. You can sit and mope after that leech, but that's not gonna bring him back. Just stop to take a good look at yourself. Maybe you'll see what the others see eventually."

He let me go and went back to sit on the chair. I stood by the mirror.

„Oh, and by the way, don't feel sorry for me. But if you want me to feel less miserable, try to make being with you a little easier."

I didn't answer, I just stood there, looking at myself. I wasn't ugly, but I wouldn't call myself beautiful. I was just an average girl. An average huma. Just a human. With a sigh I went back to sit on the bed.

„Are we done with self pity for today?" Paul asked as I sat down.

I nodded, but that wasn't persuading enough I guess.

He shook his head. „You know, I'm persistent and imprinted, but if you keep behaving this way, even I can lose the wish to be with you."

„What?" I looked up only to meet his chocolate eyes.

„I said, I'm persistent and imprinted and.." He was emphasizing every word.

„No, not that part. Did you just say you want to be with me?"

„Well, yeah." He said that like that was the most obvious thing in the world. „Did you really not see that coming?" He was almost laughing now.

I felt lost. I knew about imprinting and it's consequences, but him saying everything straightly startled me totally. I was being quiet, so Paul spoke again."

„I don't know what you want. And I don't care what you think about yourself. That fucking imprint doesn't give me any options, so I'd have to seize the only opportunity I have. And if this is not something you want, I told you, I am persistent." And he grated me with one of his brilliant grins. „So, what do you think?"

I was confused. Was that his way of starting up a relationship or something? I wasn't sure if I wanted to be with anyone right now, imprinting or not.

„Oh, come on, it's not like I'm fucking proposing to you or anything. I'm not asking you out on a date. I'm not asking you to call me your boyfriend. Fuck, I'm not even asking you to start some kind of wicked relationship. I'm just asking if you would want to try getting over that fucking leech of yours." When he saw me opening my mouth to say something, he stopped me and added. „And yes, I know I could get you to forget that fucker. If you just let me." As his smile returned, he said. „It's not like I'm bragging or anything, but I am persistent and imprinted."

I finally smiled back. What he had said made perfect sense. If I was ready to make out with him, why would being with him scare me. It's not like I could lose anything. I turned to my instincts and heard the tiny voice screaming out of it's lungs to agree, to try. As I looked back in his deep eyes, I whispered:

„Yes."

Again, sorry for the little cliffie. It seems as if I can't end a chapter without one :D