5

He kicked off his shoes and locked the screen behind him, shrugging off his vest and making his way toward his bedroom. A light from the living room drew his attention and he changed course, tugging his shirt up over his head as he did so. One of the kids must have forgotten to turn it off, he thought and was quite surprised to see Hinata—clad in her pajamas—sitting up on the couch, drinking tea and staring out of the large window that looked out into the backyard. A three-fourths moon was shining through, illuminating her pale and round face from one side while the lamplight bathed her from the other, so the only shadows on her were beneath her distant white eyes. In those few statled seconds that passed between his entrance, Sasuke (for the first time in their entire marriage) saw her as beautiful. Her eyes turned from the moon to his and their stares locked. She was different. Bolder. He recognized that and was surprised again. He wasn't sure how to proceed in this strange new territory.

She helped him: "Welcome home, Sasuke."

"Thank you," he responded instantly, like a programmed puppet. He winced.

"Would you like some tea?" she asked him.

He paused. "Please," he finally said.

"I'll get you some, so please sit down and get comfortable," she rose and slipped past him and into the hall. He heard her feet ghosting softly across the hardwood. Somehow, Sasuke felt as if her parting sentence had had a double meaning. He dropped heavily onto the armchair across from the couch, as if someone had pulled a pin out from his knees and his legs had collapsed. He waited, struck dumb by this seemingly random night. Not only had he tumbled and tripped through a varied range of emotions within the last hour with Naruto, but now his wife wasn't acting like herself and seemed to be leading him by the ear somewhere. It confused him more than angered him, and Uchiha Sasuke suddenly felt tired.

Hinata returned with two steaming mugs, placing one on the side table beside the armchair for him with a short "it's hot" as his only warning and making her way back to the couch bathed in lamp and moonlight. Her new, direct stare locked him down and he gulped, reaching automatically for his cup and then remembering her words and snatching his hand away. He clenched both of them in his lap and waited, like a child waited for a parent to scold them.

"Has there been any word from my cousin?" she asked just as he felt he were about to crack under the heavy silence between them.

"A general status report was received this afternoon from Ambassador Rin," he replied, happy that he knew this information and confused at his feelings all at once. It was like he was being tourtured but for no apparent reason. "His team has already moved into the Mist Village, but that's all I've heard."

"Do you think he'll contact the hokage with a more detailed report soon?" the question came out like a shot as soon as he was done with the answer.

He blinked. "It's a general rule within the Anbu to inform either the captain or the hokage on a mission's status every three days, so I'm sure we'll be getting something soon."

"I see." She leaned back agaist the couch and drank from her cup. Sasuke followed her example and grabbed his tea, and it was hot—he winced and did not drink, but he didn't put the mug down either. "Sasuke," she spoke again, "I have to… I've been meaning to talk to you. Without the children around."

Dread filled his stomach. What could it possibly be that she didn't want to discuss it in front of the kids? "You could have told me that, instead of waiting up until four a.m. for me to get home," is what he ended up saying and realized he sounded like an asshole. He winced again.

A thin smile jerked at the corner of her mouth and her eyes narrowed ever-so slightly. "I realize that, but I didn't know how to approach you. I finally decided that confronting you about it directly would be the best approach."

"I suppose," he nodded, realized that he still came off sounding like an asshole, and mentally made a note to check his responses before he said them. "What did you want to talk to me about?"

"About us," she said and sipped her tea again.

He drew a blank. "About…us?" he repeated.

"Yes, us," she put the cup down and folded her hands in her lap. "This marriage."

He suddenly felt guilty. Naruto's face flashed into his mind but he temporarily shoved it aside. He debated about his answer. Finally, he did say: "Actually, I wanted to tell you something as well."

"I'd like to speak first," she said, raising an eyebrow. "That is, if you don't mind."

"I don't mind," he answered, noting her slight impatience with him. I wonder what I did to get her so upset, he thought to himself.

"Sasuke, we've been married for almost nine years now," she stated.

"I know that, Hinata," he nodded.

"We have two chidren."

"I know that too."

"You're being an asshole," she glared at him. He blinked in shock.

"I…" he tried. Her white eyes bored into his. And at that moment, he realized that this bluntness was costing her a lot; her hands were shaking and little droplets of sweat beaded her creased brow. He took a deep breath and unclenched his own hands, leaning back in the armchair. "I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to upset you. Con—" You'll sound like an asshole! Reword it! "You can keep going, if you want to."

His mood change affected her as well. She relaxed, and the anger faded from her eyes. "I didn't want to discuss this around the children because they might have overheard and gotten the wrong idea, and I don't want this to upset them—they're already upset enough."

"About their uncle, right?" he asked.

"You realize that?" she looked surprised.

"I did," he nodded. "I know Hana aspires to be like him, and it's only natural she'd be upset about the type of mission he'd been assigned to. Haku, well, he favors Naruto more, but he's very aware of his sister's feelings."

She paused. "I didn't think you observed that much," she admitted.

"I wouldn't have, if I were the old me," he agreed. "But I think I've changed a little."

"You've changed a lot," she agreed.

"But I'm pretty sure you were prepared to face off against the old me—the asshole," he elaborated and she blushed.

"I didn't mean—" she tried.

"No, you did mean it," he shook his head, "and that's fine because it's only the truth. But Hinata," he leaned forward to accentuate his point, "even though we never truly became close—like a married couple should have—I think we've progressed enough from politeness and avoidance, don't you think?" She nodded. "And I have changed, so, there's no need to worry about me attacking you if I don't agree with what you're saying. Is that what you were worried about?"

"A little," she confessed. "I just… I don't know where to begin with it all—"

"Start with what you were originally going to say," he leaned back again. "And I'll listen, I promise."

"Okay," she nodded, closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. "Sasuke, I…" He waited. She began to avoid his eyes; she was her normal self again. "This marriage…"

"Hinata, you don't love me, am I right?" he asked. She nodded again. "Do you regret marrying me? Or rather, me making you marry into my bloodline?"

She hesitated. "That's…not the way I would describe how I feel," she said. "I married you because my family wanted me to marry you, and even if I had refused, I believe they would have set me up with someone else I didn't want to be with."

"So, you just chose to go along with it," he finished for her.

"I'm sorry," she lowered her head.

"Please, don't be," he beckoned her to lift her eyes. "We're in the same boat, almost. Nine years ago, I didn't know what love was. I only wanted to pass on my bloodline, to make heirs to my name, and have an obedient wife that would provide those heirs."

"Asshole," she said again, but this time she smiled. He returned it.

"I was," he admitted. "And for a long time afterward, I continued to be that way."

"I think the children changed you," she stated.

"They did," he agreed. "They influenced my change the most, yes. But the person who originally challeneged me to change…was Naruto."

"Mm," she smiled again. "I think I know where this may be going."

"How so?" he raised an eyebrow.

She picked up her tea cup and took a long drink, thinking to herself. He copied her example, and waited for her to break their silence (which was now comfortable and laid back) first. She did. "Sasuke, I see things. Many things people overlook. Maybe it's a curse of this Byakugan of mine," she smiled wistfully, and Sasuke had another brief glimpse of her true beauty. His heart—for the first time—went out to her. He genuinely wanted to become her friend and her partner. "I saw Naruto when no one else saw him, and my eyes followed him throughout the years—seeing his belief and his determination and his strength and his will…they all made me want to become a better person. I can only imagine," she smiled at him, "how his own teammates must have felt about him.

"When you left the village, he changed," she continued. "Like a man possessed, he hunted for you, day in and day out. I tried to help him as much as I could, but I didn't quite understand why he was looking for you. I always knew you as distant and cold, the exact opposite to his bright warmth. For years, it confused me. Even after he returned from training with Jiraiya-sama, had Tsunande-sama hand-pick a team for him and went off searching for you again, and almost quite a few times into the jaws of death…" Her smile went to her memories this time. Sasuke remained silent. "Through everything, he remained steadfast in his will to find you," she explained. "Watching him fight his way forward, reaching for you even though you were just there, out of his grasp, I realized it then. That Naruto had found 'the one'. The one he loved above all others. The only one he'd give his life and his dreams for."

There was a long pause. They both drank from their cups. Sasuke rubbed his head and sighed, leaning forward again. "So then," he said, "I don't really have to tell you what I wanted to say, do I?"

"Does it have to do with Naruto?" she laughed and he nodded, hating the small heat that rose into his cheeks. "Then, no. I can guess." She smiled. "I'm happy for you, and especially for him."

"You are, really?" he asked.

She looked down into her tea cup. "Yes."

"What about your feelings?" he gestured toward her. "The way you were talking about him just now, it sounds like you're in love with him."

"I…" she hesitated. "I'm not sure," she admitted. "I liked him very much, and I changed myself many times because of him."

"So then—"

"He's not 'the one' for me, though," she said.

"Have you found that person?" he asked her. "Is that what you've been trying to tell me?"

After a slight rush of crimson to her face, she nodded. "I feel that I have, yes."

"It's Kiba, isn't it?" he guessed.

"How did you know?" she looked up at him.

"I see things too, Hinata," he shrugged. "Now, more than before because now I pay attention to them. I see the way he looks at you and the way he looks at me. He's loved you for a while now, hasn't he?"

"Mm-hmm," she blushed harder.

"And you're returning his feelings, but you don't want to be a bad wife or a bad mother, so you're keeping it closed up inside of you."

She blinked. "Sasuke…"

"Don't keep it inside of you," he frowned. "I did. It's painful, isn't it, Hinata?"

"Yeah…" she sighed, the glimmer of a tear forming at the corner of one white eye. He got up and walked across the living room, sitting down beside her and placing an arm around her tensed shoulders.

"No matter what happens between us," he said softly, "I will never, ever, drag the chidren into it. I love them too much to hurt them with this."

"Me too," she choked out. "I don't want to divorce, only because it'll tear them apart!"

"We don't have to," he shook his head. "We're married to each other but we love different people. Our children have to come first in this though, no matter what."

"I feel exactly the same way," she nodded against his shoulder.

He hugged her. He said: "We may not be together as a normal man and wife should be, but we are in this together. I'm not going to let you drown, or get swept away, Hinata. I forced you to marry me against your will, and now I'm responsible for you."

"Sasuke…" she whispered.

"We'll make it through this," he grinned down at her. "We all will. I promise you that."

After a brief moment, Hinata's small arms circled around his waist and squeezed tightly. "Thank you…" she mumbled against him. "Thank you, Sasuke."