Challenge 5
Pairing: Ernie Macmillan/Justin Flinch-Fletchley
House: Gryffindor!
-x-x-x-
The way she feels inside (inside)
Those thoughts I can't deny (deny)
These sleeping thoughts won't lie (won't lie)
And all I've tried to hide, It's eating me apart
- Dirty Little Secret- All American Rejects
"I love you." Ernie's heart stopped with those three little words, and he looked down at the blushing girl lying on his chest in shock. Hannah and Ernie had been dating since the end of the war. The shy Hufflepuff had asked him out, and from the urging of his friends, he had said yes.
Ernie liked the girl fine, they had been friends since second year, she had come into the picture after when Ernie had started up the cause to defending Justin during the Basilisk attacks, since he was a muggle-born. Hannah had bashfully taken up the cause as well, and the three had formed a strong friendship, though Ernie and Justin still remained closer to each other.
Justin hadn't said much when Ernie and Hannah had begun dating, but he knew his friend wasn't happy. And, honestly, Ernie wasn't either, he just didn't have the heart to break up with Hannah yet, continuously putting it off for a later date. He knew he had no interest in her, though he did make an effort to be a good boyfriend, but the problem was, he was sure he didn't have an interest in girl's period. But, he tried, hoping that he could find an easy way out of this, while strongly resisting the urge to act in his ever increasing feelings for his best friend.
"Ernie?" Hannah asked, looking up at her boyfriend, who was staring out across the grounds from their spot on the astronomy tower.
Ernie looked down, meeting the gaze of the bashful girl. "Hannah." He said weakly, not able to hold her loving, but now confused gaze any longer. "That's great, you're amazing." He knew that wasn't the answer that she wanted to hear. But, he couldn't give his heart to a girl when it so obviously belonged to someone else. His feelings were getting harder, and harder to ignore, scratching at the surface, dying to get out.
The two stayed in silence, Ernie's thoughts filling with a curly haired blonde Hufflepuff, while Hannah's swirled with distress.
"Ernie," She whispered after a minute, biting her lip, "Do you love me too?"
"Hannah," Ernie said, running a hand through his hair, "We should get back to the common room, your friends probably miss you, and I need to talk to Justin."
"Justin?" Hannah said heartbrokenly, "You're always putting him over me. Not obviously, but you are, Ernie! I love you." Hannah said, gripping at his shirt tightly, and then said quietly, "Can't you see that?"
"Hannah, that's not true." Ernie said, though looking back, he knew that it was. "I care about you."
"But, you don't love me." Hannah said, tears sparking in the corners of her eyes, "Not like I love you, you're not in love with me."
"Hannah," Ernie said, "Can we not talk about this now?" Ernie said, wanting nothing more than to escape the conversation. But, he knew he wouldn't be able to.
"No." Hannah said, "I'm sorry, Ernie, but we need to discuss this." She said, voice shaking slightly, "You love him, don't you." It was a statement, not a question.
"That's ridiculous." Ernie said, wincing as it came out a little more hastily than he had intended. "He's my best mate, and I like girls."
"Do you think I haven't noticed?" Hannah said, tears no flowing over her flushed cheeks, "Because, I have, you've never seemed to enjoy kissing me, you're always distant, and your eyes light up whenever you see Justin, they never do with me. It's like you're forcing yourself to be with me. And, I don't want that, I want you to be happy."
"I am happy, Hannah." Ernie said.
"Please." Hannah said, tears coming faster, just stop. "You don't have to admit it to everyone else, or even Justin, but please, just tell me, you love him don't you?"
"I . . ." Ernie didn't know what to say, he sat up put his head in his hand, pulling at his silky, honey colored locks.
"You can tell me." Hannah said, resting a trembling hand on his shoulder, "We've been friends for ages."
"I'm sorry." Ernie said quietly, "You don't deserve this. I think you're a really great girl, an amazing person, and fantastic friend. I just, don't like you like that, I've never really liked any girl like that." Ernie said.
"You're gay?" Hannah asked, a quiver to her voice.
"Merlin, I don't bloody know!" Ernie said, "I've never had feelings for anyone. Justin was always just my best mate... but...I can't get him off my mind, and every time I see him, it's like my heart goes into overtime, or snitches suddenly decide to start flying in my stomach, and I can't take it anymore! It gets harder not to hold him, or kiss him every time I see him, and I've never felt this way before. And, I try to stay away from him, and it's ruining our friendship. I . . . I just wish we could go back to second year, when everything was so simple, or at least simpler, and none of my feelings for him were this strong."
Hannah sighed, leaning her back against the wall, and staring up at the night sky. "I guess I've always known that I'd come in second to Justin. The way you looked at him, how close you two are. But, I just couldn't ignore how I felt, even if I knew you weren't happy. And, the way Justin looks at you, it's so obvious he likes you, it always has been." She said brokenly. Running a hand through his hair in an old comfort for them both, like she used to do when they were younger, during those rare moments that he'd let himself be week.
Ernie laughed hollowly, "Hannah, please, don't say that, Justin could never like me, not like that, I'm not worth it."
Hannah surprised them both, and slapped the back of his head, making him look up sharply. "Sorry." She mumbled, blushing, "But, you deserved it. Ernie, you are worth it. Justin and I see that, and you should too."
"You can't possibly expect me to believe that." Ernie said bitterly, "He's probably straight, Hannah."
"Yep, just like how he, and everyone thinks you're straight."
"Oh, Merlin, you won't tell anyone, will you?"
Hannah sighed, glancing at him briefly, before returning her gaze back to the stars, "No, of course not. Until you're ready, it'll be our secret."
Ernie nodded, not knowing what to say.
"He does like you." The brunette said softly, "When we got together, I remember he was so upset, but he never said anything. I knew for sure then, the way he looked at you."
Ernie made a sound in the back of his throat, but made no comment, so she continued. "I guess, we're over, aren't we?"
"I'm sorry." Was all the Hufflepuff was able to manage.
"I know." Hannah responded, "And . . . I want you to be happy. Just do me a favor."
Ernie stared at her cautiously. "What?"
"Go, and tell Justin, so I at least can see my two best friends happy."
Ernie bit his lip and nodded, too scared to think of all the possible consequences that would follow such an action.
"I love you." Hannah said again, leaning in to kiss him one last time. The kiss was gentle, a farewell, the taste of the saltiness of Hannah's tears lingering.
"Now," Hannah said, "Go, and do it now. I need to be alone for a bit."
Ernie nodded, and shakily got to his feet, closing the door to the astronomy tower, and shutting off the sounds of Hannah's increasing sobs.
He walked the corridors, guilt increasing, and yet he still couldn't get the thoughts of Justin from his mind, but this time, a bit of hope accompanied the thoughts.
Before he knew it, he was staring at the door to his dormitory. With a deep breath, he entered.
"Hey," He said, alerting the attention of the three boys playing exploding snap on the ground. "Is it alright if I talk to Justin alone for a bit?"
Smiling good naturedly, his two dorm mates left, leaving him alone with a puzzled Justin. The curly blonde slowly stood, and walked to his frazzled friend. "Are you alright?" He asked concerned, "You don't look to good."
"Hannah and I broke up." Ernie said, not knowing what else to say.
"Oh." Justin said softly, blinking in surprise. "Why?"
"She told me she loved me."
Justin stared at him, several emotions flickering in his expressive blue eyes, all too fast for him to discern.
"And, that's a bad thing?" he asked at last.
"She's a really good friend, but I never liked her, not like that. It was stupid of me to let it go on as long as it did."
Justin didn't say anything, appearing to shocked to speak. "And, besides," Ernie said, swallowing his nerves. "I love someone else."
"Wh-" Justin's question was cut off as Ernie's lips descended onto his in a soft, questioning kiss. After a second, the Hufflepuff slowly responded, tentatively opening his mouth to his friend's questing tongue.
"It's you. It's always been you." Ernie said breathlessly. "I've had feelings for you for a few years now; I just didn't want to admit it. But, I can't ignore it anymore Justin, I love you."
"I – I love you too. I have for a while." Justin murmured, a soft dusting of pink tingeing his cheeks.
"I'm new to this." Ernie said, distressed. "I'm not ready for everyone to know yet. But, I will be soon, is that alright?" he asked, afraid for Justin's answer.
Justin nodded, laughing quietly, before he leaned in for another gentle kiss. "Of course, until we're both ready, it'll be our little secret."
AN: I hope you all liked this! Ernie and Justin is my new pairing obsession for some reason. So, if you want to see more of it, because I noticed the horrible lack of fics on this pairing, I just posted a oneshot for these two. =)
Reviews are Love! =D