Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer is the brains. I'm the beauty. Hehe, I'm joking—kinda. But the lady actually does own Twilight and all that good stuff. I don't. Never ever for-never ever.
--$$#0!3--
Isabella Devacino
Patience.
I must have fucking patience.
I cannot, in fact, crush the necks of every fucker here that tries to grab my ass, or yells out 'nice ass' or thinks about how fucking amazing my ass looks in my leather pants.
I cannot, in fact, break off the arms of every fucker here that tries to grab my tits, or yells out 'nice tits' or thinks about how fucking amazing my tits look in my black tank top.
I cannot, in fact, step on the legs of every fucker in here that tries to lean in and kiss my lips, or yells out 'nice lips' or thinks about how good my lips will look around their cock.
These children are so small. Less than the average size.
Which gets me back to thinking of Edward.
Fuck. Dude is outrageously packed.
My mother always told me that if I meet a man that has a peen so huge that it almost pokes me in the eye while it's encased, I must have that man.
I must have Big Poppa.
--$$#0!3--
"Ms. Devacino," fuck, I'd love to see her bent over my desk, "I'd appreciate it if you got off out your cellular device and participated in the class. If you do not, I will have to confiscate it."
I roll my eyes and keep texting Rob.
when r u cumming to Seattle?
As soon as I strt filming the last prt of my new mvie, u can bet ur sweet ass i'll be cumming.
mmm, I luv it when u talk durttyy.
rlly? U like it when i tlk abt my dick pounding into your hot tight wet pussy over n over til ur sweet juices cum out in a mind-blowing orgasm?
unggh. Stop, spunk. In school. cant stop the fire.
I dont want u 2 stop the fire, bb. u wait untl u see me. u knw i'll mke it wrth the wait. ;)
u bttr make it worth it. it'll be the last time ):
i know. i dont want it 2 end, but i'm gonna ask kstew out. think she'll say ya?
take out spunk and she deff will. ;)
u naughty dirty little rich whore :D
took u tht long 2 figure it out? but i'm ahotrich whore
that u are. Txt u ltr, sexy. gtg make moolah
think of me. u'll make more money if ure hard entire time
Before I can see if he replies, the dipshit teacher comes up and fucking tries to snatch my phone.
God bless half vamp strength.
"Ms. Devacino," bet she has a tight little cunt,"I warned you to put away the cellular device. Now you must hand it to me. Your parent or guardian will have to come," love to see the sexy ass slut come on me, "to fetch it from the front office," he holds his hand out, expecting the phone. Probably thinks that his stance and stern voice intimidate me. Ha.
I raise a brow. "Put you fucking hands back. And did your mother never tell you that it's fucking rude to stare?"
Huh. She just talked back to Navarra. That dude freaks even me out. Well, shedoes punish all the crazy vampires… Must not get afraid ofanything.
I respect her. Still hate her, but I have respect.
I like this girl. I don't like that she was rude to Alice, but I likeher. No bullshit with her emotions and actual personality. Her emotions don't contradict what she's saying. She's not faking like most.
Isabella, being a bitch on your very first day? Good job. I'm fucking a teacher. I recommend getting out of my mind. She's fucking hot, Bel.
What's wrong with the clothes we wear to school? It's not like we can wear our home clothes. Right? I don't have mom clothes. These are designer!
Bella, this is fucking hilarious. Human men are too easy. I just got a teacher to fucking break up with his fucking girlfriend. He's hot, though. A
}"?ngs that you should be feeling towards a lady such as Isabella.
Eddie, it ain't 1918. It's 2010. Take her. Fuck her. Have her. You know you love it when she calls you Big Poppa.
NO! You mustn't! Be respectful.
Fuck. Her. Now. Plunge your dick into her tight wet pussy and have her screaming your name. Fuck. Her. Fuck. Her. Fuck.Her.
Well, fuck. He has that whole angel/devil thing going on.
I choose the devil.
I'm bolted back into reality by Mr. Dipshit Perv clearing his throat.
I look back up. "Dude. Seriously, Get. The fuck. Away. From. Me." He must realize that he's in the presence of an annoyed predator, because he walked the fuck away from me. Applause rings out throughout the classroom, and I smirk. Apparently, I'm officially liked at this school. Damn, even the principal is afraid of him.
I don't care. I just love attention.
And I don't even have to try to get it, like half of the fucking girls at this piece of shit school.
It's because I'm Isabella fucking Volturi.
I had motherfucking power when I was fucking vampire sperm. I did beat all the other little shits trying to get into my mom, didn't I?
Yes, bitches.
I did.
--$$#0!3--
It's the time of the day where humans eat shitty cafeteria food and gossip.
Jane, Demitri, and I have the class before lunch together, so we're walking towards the cafeteria side by side.
We can already hear them talking about us.
"… Isabella like, totally, cursed out Navarra! And dude, she's so fucking hot! I'd tap that."
"Did you about how the Jane girl got a date with Mentiz? She even got him to break up with his girlfriend on the spot!"
"The bad boy, Demitri, took my science teacher right out of the classroom! They came back five minutes before the bell rang. Demitri was smirking and not even breaking a sweat even though Ms. Ivan was panting and looking dazed."
"This family is fucking amazing! They kind of remind me of the Cullens, except they don't dress like my parents, and they're cool!"
Jane, Demitri, and I look at each other and smirk.
These fuckers haven't seen anything yet.
As we enter the cafeteria, everyone literally… stops and stares.
It gets very quiet as we walk toward a table smack in the middle to put our bags down.
Fuck. I smell chocolate. Of the cake variety.
Me want.
Hey, I'm half-human, too. I have human traits.
I faint, sleep every once in a while when I'm dead tired, and eat some food.
I'm rather picky—unless it involves chocolate.
Must. Have. Chocolate.
I get up top of the table and yell out, "Who has the fucking chocolate cake? I want it." Every one of them points toward the cafeteria line.
Chocolate.
I'm coming for you, baby.
I get down the table and walk towards the line.
"… OMG, she has theperfect figure and she eats chocolate cake? I haveto get some!"
"I know! She looks, like, better than Heidi Klum or any of those celebs!"
I can feel the girls getting up and practically running toward the line, just because the new girl with the perfect figure wants chocolate.
Fuck, I'm a good influence. Mommy Dearest would be proud. It's always disgusted her how teenage girls are influenced to be stick-thin. 'In my day, dear, it was a shame to be so skinny. Girls were expected to have some meat on their bones.' I don't know how many times I heard that when I was younger and survived mostly off of human food. And chocolate. Never forget the chocolate.
Not only do I buy the chocolate cake, but I but a chocolate bar and a bottle of water. Must stay healthy, you know.
"… I'd like exactly what she's having."
"… Oh my God, gimme a bottle of water too. She's so smart! Balancing out the carbs!"
I walk back to my table and take a huge fucking bite out of the cake. Jane and Demitri roll their eyes, while I moan at the chocolaty goodness.
Yum.
I hear the other vamps gag somewhere in the corner of the cafeteria and I look for them. I find them in the farthest corner, completely secluded from civilization. These fuckers have so long to learn. It's fucking sad when I lived in an underground castle and am more liberal than them. And it's not because I was repressed or anything, because quite frankly, who do you think I get my colorful language from? Daddy Dearest, of course.
I take my cake, bar, and water and walk over to the deep abyss. Figuratively speaking, of course. Revisiting the deepest parts of the ocean is not something I want to do. Those animals are fucking hideous.
Jane and Demitri grab chairs nearby and pull them up to the table. My hands are full and you know it's not like I have supernatural strength and can hold them in one hand or anything. So I sit on Big Poppa's lap.
Push her off you. Push her off you. Push her off you
Press her on you. Press her on you. Press her on you.
Stop being perverted, Edward! She obviously isn't thinking of it the way you are.
Are you fucking serious? Did younothear her thoughts?
Oh, yes, I'd forgotten about that. Still! You mustn't!
Dude, is that like, your favorite fucking phrase? 'You mustn't? Like I don't see the massive boner you're sporting.
I cannot help my body's reaction to a beautiful lady such as her.
Yeah, you fucking can. Beat it down.
Oh, such a won- I'm praying for you. Such innuendo!
Why did you know I was making an innuendo? You know you wanna slap her ass too.
Ignoring you.
"Isabella, umm, there are other chairs to sit on. You do not have to sit on me," Big Poppa says in a strained voice.
Adjusting myself, (rubbing my ass against his dick) I respond, "I'd rather not, Big Poppa. It's so comfortable on you. Also, I prefer the devil in you." He moans. Rather loudly, actually.
Sigh.
I may not be able to wait for Rob. Actually, fuck it. I'm going to get Big Poppa. I won't want to feel guilt about not letting Rob know. Moving from Big Poppa, I go to sit on Demitri. Wouldn't want Big Poppa looking over my shoulder. I mean, I know he can read my mind, but ehh.
redcoat.
hot rich whore.
tengo un problemo.
spill.
"Who is 'redcoat'? And why is he calling you a whore?" Bug Poppa practically snarls. Touchy much? I wave him off.
ive met a guy. hes fucking hot. Kinda like me. U know the thing I cant tell you about?
ya. could the cold hearted demon posbly be in… inlove?
dont play with shit like tht. I have enough access to ur cock to cut it off.
"Who are you talking to, Isabella?" I roll my eyes at Big Poppa. Getting annoying.
"Shut up, Cullen," Jane demans of Big Poppa while rolling her eyes.
"Don't tell me what to do you. I'm not afraid of you. You can't hurt me in front of all these humans. You'll get killed," Big Poppa says like a petulant five year old. I stopped texting long enough to listen.
"You do realize that I'm a fucking daughter to them, right? Daddy Dearest would rather kill every human in here than even consider hurting me. So try me, bitch. Try. Me."
"Dude. You do realize that you sounded like fucking Madea, right?"I smirks and tells me in her mind, What do you think I was aiming for?
Just then, my phone rings with Rob's ringtone.
Pushing and pulling wait
It's the hard part but the true love way
She's wanted like wanted man
With your smart mouth and your killer hand
We can both share all that I have made
For a young man it's a heck of a wage
And I feel crazy when I see your face
"Wassup, Spunk?"
"Volturi," I can see the shock on the parent vamps' faces that he knows my real name. Well, Big Poppa is simply furious. "Talk."
"Bout what, Robby- Ray?" I decide to play naïve and innocent.
"First off, do not fucking compare me to some reject country singer. I will not have a whore of a daughter that dances on stripper poles at award shows," he snaps.
"Hey, I like Miley. She's funny. And a bit hot. I'd do her if it wasn't a form of pedophilia considering my secret age, and I was still experimenting. Speaking of, say hi to Jane."
"Hi, Short Bitch. Have you gotten a heart yet?"
"We all know it ain't possible. British Bitch, thank you so fucking much for the Rathbone hook up. I can still feel that shit," she replies.
Oh my God, are they talking to Robert Pattinson? He's my human celebrity crush!
Okay, seriously, there's nothing wrong with my clothes! Is that Rob Pattinson? Cool.
Would it be rude to ask her to hang up and stop talking to the guy?
No, Edward, it wouldn't. We can't have any barriers in our way of fucking her.
"No prob, Short Bitch. Sweet Ass, stop trying to change the subject. Is youse be in love?"
"Dude. Don't try to be ghetto. Combined with your accent, you just sound gay."
"Fuck you, Volturi. Tell me more of this mystery guy."
"Yes, Brother Dearest."
"I'm not your brother. I happen to not believe in incest. I don't fuck my sister. Or eat her out," he says in a husky tone. Using my hand, I fan myself. Judging from his mind, Jasper has to use his fuckawesome emotional shit to keep Big Poppa from crushing my phone.
"Stop it. In a cafeteria. No naughtiness or sex voice."
'We've fucked at the Super Bowl."
"That's different. We didn't get caught. If I start the female equivalent of jacking off in the fucking school cafeteria, someone is bound to see."
"Let them record it for me."
"Robert Pattinson. Do you want to hear about Big Poppa or not?"
"Ooh, now I'm intrigued. Do tell."
"In my new Small Town, USA place, there is a family like me."
"Will you ever tell me what you are?"
"Do you wantan early death?
"Shit, I'm good. Keep that secret forever."
"Good. They wear mom and dad clothes. Judging from my secret magic power that you'll never know, they seem to think that they look fine, so us fashion-wise Volturis are going over to destroy their shit.
Three dudes, two girls. All three dudes are hot, but the first two are taken and even I know not to mess with mated people of my secret species that you'll never ever know."
"Must you remind me of that? I get it. Continue."
"When we're done talking, go jack off. You're being a bitch. Maybe Jane's title is right, British Bitch.
Anyhoo, the third guy is fuckhot. Like, dude, I fucking fainted the first time I really saw him. Apparently, I landed on his crotch. And man, the guy is fucking packing. So I call him Big Poppa.
I have made it my goal in life to fuck Big Poppa and rid him of his innocence and virginity."
"Wait, wait, you motherfucking wait just one second. He's one of your kind and he's a fucking virgin? Aren't you like the higher race? Like, all freakishly hot and all that shit?"
"Yes. Thanks for the compliment, Spunk. He has this whole devil/angel thing going on. Like, his angel is telling him to be respectful and notbend me over the table and kill you. His devil is saying to slit your throat in half and fuck me in front of your face."
"That'd be a bit hard, wouldn't it? Not exactly in his fucking face."
"That's what she said," I giggle. Yes, I giggle. An innocent, normal, girly thing.
"Put your virgin on the phone."
I hand the phone out to Big Poppa. He refuses to take it. I pout.
"Hello?" he practically snarls.
"Waddup, dude? I feel like I should warn you—even though you will be robbing me of pussy—to be careful around Bel. She's a very good friend of mine and has made awesome acquaintance with my dick-" Big Poppa growls.
"That's probably supposed to scare me, but I've had it done to me enough times by Demitri, and I'm sure that you're not as huge as he is," Rob chuckles.
"That what she said!" I call out.
"Shut up, Volturi. Anyway, we were friends before we fucked, and even though she doesn't know this, I only became her friend because I wanted to tap that. Have you seenher ass?"
"Fuck you, Pattinson. You became my friend because you were lonely and depressed because Stewart didn't break up with her boyfriend."
"Harsh, Volturi. Does Daddy Dearest know that you're being so rude to his favorite actor? I'm tryingto have a conversation with Big Poppa.
Anyhow, Big Poppa, be careful around her. That girl knows positions that scare Jenna Jameson. I shit you not; she was a porn star at one point in her life. She does this thing called 'squeezing the-"
"Do you seriouslyfucking think that I want to know the details of your sex life?" Audible gasps ring out throughout the mom/dad vamps. That's the first time he's cursed aloud in years—the '80s sex rage.
How the fuckis he a virgin?
"But of course. Everyonewants to know about my life. Hell, I just found out that Stewart and I are married or some shit," he says sarcastically. The publicity thing gets to him. He hates rumors and towards the public eye, the fucker is actually shy. If only they knew…
"Virgin Boy, she loves chocolate. She gets off on it. Seriously. You don't even have to touch her. Give her chocolate and talk dirty. It's freaky. She has this obsession with online erotica. Read it with her, it turns her on. She has a strange love of BDSM shit.
Lastly and most importantly: when you meet her father, do not be a kiss ass in front of the Mafia Dude. And once again, I shit you not; he can smell fear. But I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that all of your kind can.
Have fun, Big Poppa. Put me back on the phone with Sweet Ass." Big Poppa is trying to act pissed, but he's hanging onto every word that Spunk has said.
"Sweet Ass! Be careful with Big Poppa. Don't corrupt him a much as you did me."
"Spunk, he'll be worse. I gotta go. Time to go be a good student. The bell rang."
"Adios, Sweet Ass."
"Bye, Spunk. Don't forget to have Rathbone record you asking out Stewart for me."
"Yes, mistress."
I laugh and before saying bye once more, I hang up.
"Big Poppa, you wanna skip class and go to a closet?" I ask, raising my brows suggestively.
He stares at me blankly for a minute. Internal battle between el Diablo y el Angel.
"Umm, no thank you," he whispers before turning and walking too fast to his next class.
Ugh.
Patience.
Must. Have. Patience.
--$$#0!3--