SPOILER WARNING- IF YOU HAVE NOT WATCHED THE DOCTOR IN THE PHOTO. THERE IS THINGS MENTIONED FROM THAT EPISODE IN THIS PIECE
**Disclaimer: I do not own anything with BONES or any songs in my stories. I just love Booth and Bones love story. **
Writer's Note: I really like this one. The part I like the best I think of this is the last sentence.
Let Me Go
By 3 Doors Down
One more kiss could be the best thing
But one more lie could be the worst
And all these thoughts are never resting
And you're not something I deserve
In my head there's only you now
This world falls on me
In this world there's real and make believe
And this seems real to me
You love me but you don't know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
And you love me but you don't know who I am
So let me go
Let me go
I dream ahead to what I hope for
And I turn my back on loving you
How can this love be a good thing
When I know what I'm going through
In my head there's only you now
This world falls on me
In this world there's real and make believe
And this seems real to me
You love me but you don't know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
And you love me but you don't know who I am
So let me go
Just let me go
Let me go
And no matter how hard I try
I can't escape these things inside I know
I know
When all the pieces fall apart
You will be the only one who knows
Who knows
You love me but you don't know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
And you love me but you don't know who I am
So let me go
Just let me go
And you love me but you don't
You love me but you don't
You love me but you don't know who I am
And you love me but you don't
You love me but you don't
You love me but you don't know me
Any other man would be sleeping with their arms around this beautiful woman, but no not Seeley Booth. Instead of enjoying the afterglow of the mind blowing sex he just had had with her, the woman that he "loved". He was sitting up in bed, having a war with himself. Seeley was his own worst enemy. One of his many conflicts, he might have just had mind blowing sex with his girlfriend, but that was just it. It was just sex, it wasn't love making. Love making was where you break the Laws of Physics and become one with the other person. He was never going to be "one" with Hannah. There was only one person in the world that he would be one with, was one with, and Hannah is not that person.
This woman laying beside him, he was not one with. He had barely told her anything about himself. She didn't know anything about his childhood, didn't know about his family in general, except for Parker, and the list goes on of the things that Hannah didn't know about him. Seeley told Hannah just the bare essentials about Bones.
But Bones, he shared everything with Bones. She is his partner, it is about trust. Bones knows things about him that he never even shared with Rebecca or Cam. In Bones' unique way, she received the data and processed it. Never thinking any less of him, never judging him, maybe disagreeing with him, but never judging, Bones is different though. Not typical.
"Why was this so hard?" He questioned himself, even though he knew the answer. If this was 7 years earlier there would be no problem. But he met his soul mate that faithful day in the lecture hall and from that day on, she was HIS STANDARD. Long were the days of the typical "Seeley Booth" type. In a perfect world, a world where he had never met Dr. Temperance Brennan, Hannah would have been the one he spent the rest of his life with. But this isn't a perfect world and Seeley did met Bones and now there was only one type for Seeley, but that type was not the one laying in his bed.
He told Bones that Hannah wasn't a consolation prize, for most men that would be true. If it was 7 years ago that would also be true, but not now. It is getting harder and harder to convince himself otherwise. He may love Hannah, but it isn't in the same way that he loves Bones.
"Why do I keep hurting her? Why do I keep hurting myself? Why are we both SO scared? She hurt me, so I go around and hurt her with being with Hannah. I told Bones when she realized she made a mistake that Hannah wasn't a consolation prize. But who am I kidding? Bones is my soul mate. I will never truly be happy unless we are together in one form or another. I will never really truly be able to move on."
In was so much easier in Afghanistan, having no connect with Bones whatsoever. Having someone who used to be his typical type "lick his wounds", someone sort of like Bones but different enough to get him through those seven months. Back in D.C. however is a different story. Seeing Bones just brought all those feelings back, but he kept them buried as long as he could. He had a girlfriend now, and they were as serious as a heart attack. He wanted it to all disappear, pretending that he had pushed his feelings for Bones so far down his gut that they wouldn't resurface. He was just fooling himself. Trying to fool everyone else and trying to convince them and himself.
Everything changed though that night where Bones told him, she didn't want to have any regrets and that she missed her chance. He was beside himself. A whole gamut of emotions filled his soul. Now he has 2 women that love him.
He wished that if Hannah really loved him, she would let him go. Because he already knew that the woman that truly loved him already did let him go for his own "happiness".
*Thanks again for all who have enjoyed the story so far. And thanks for all the feedback/favorites/alerts. Appreciate any feedback good or bad.* Happy Reading :0)