CH.2
For years Jason had avoided any contact with anything that was related to Jason Quatermaine, but he knew it would be lying to say he'd never been curious. But if he was curious than that meant, he would have to go to them and tell them that and that was one thing he'd never do. But now, it was right here, it was right at his fingertips because of those three boxes Edward had sent over.
He put the picture Brenda had given him on the coffee table and went over to the boxes. He sat down and starred at them, within those boxes was everything he'd spent years running from.
He started picking up the various picture frames that were in the first box. They weren't anything new; he'd seen them all once before when he'd come home from the hospital, he noticed there weren't any of him with Keesha, just him with Brenda, or him in a group of people or with the "family."
The next box was full of full photo albums. He spent some time flipping through them and there was one thing that was glaringly obvious. Jason Quatermaine had loved everyone Jason Morgan couldn't stand. All throughout the albums was AJ. It was funny though to see AJ throughout the years, when there was a time that he was as innocent as Michael. When AJ seemed happy, but that eventually ended in the pictures, his smiles became fake. Jason shook his head; he didn't need to have sympathy for AJ because it was pointless.
He looked at the last box; it was full of notebooks. Why the hell would they send schoolbooks?
He grabbed the black five star off the top of the pile and he realized why Reginald had sent it over. It wasn't a regular notebook; it was a journal .... They were his journals ... Jason Quartermaine's private thoughts, who he was and they were now at his fingertips ... not stories from others, not how great and flawless he was ... no this was just Jason.
It scared him, he would never admit that to anyone, but it scared him. He didn't want to know that person, he was too afraid of him and his life ... He didn't want it, he wanted it to stay separated from him...He didn't want any connection to that person, yet he couldn't stop himself from opening that book.
He laughed at himself when he read the first line
I It's the first day of 9th grade. /I
Ninth grade ... there was no worry about being connected to child.
INinth grade, in the US this would be a big deal. This would be high school; there would be new kids, and not the same faces I've been starring at since I was four. 'Course if I was in a real family in the US I would have seen my parents for more than those two weeks at the start of the summer. Of course out of those two weeks we had five family dinners, a trip to New York for new summer and school clothes ... I think we must have spent about a day and a half with them total if you add it up. I guess we're used to that, I know AJ is, actually he prefers it when they aren't around. I can't say I blame him, I've never seen anyone treated like they treat him. I've never seen anyone get so much abuse because they get B's and A-'s in school. I understand why AJ won't tell them he has an LD; they already look at him as if he's shit, if they knew that...they'll think he's actually damaged and not just a fuck up. He tries so hard though, I can't stand all the shit he takes from them. I don't think he can take it anymore either; he drinks and smokes way too much now. He's got to break away from them before it destroys him.
God I don't want to think about AJ, I spend too much of my time worrying about him, he at least has me, even if he doesn't have them. We have each other, we never needed them, and we never will. /I
Jason closed the book right there; he didn't want to know this. He didn't want to pity AJ. There had to be another book that started off on a better note, he picked up another and began to read.
IApril 3rd 1990
Today was my big game. They didn't come. They promised they would fly over, they both did. I know they're fighting, I know they're mad, but they promised. Dad promised to come even though mom was going to be there. Mom promised to come and bring Dawn. I have a sister and I've never met her. I talked to her on the phone a couple of times and she always seems really cool, just like AJ. She didn't talk about herself, she asked me questions, found out about my life, not like mom and dad, who ask but don't listen. I think she's going to be really cool, her, AJ and I...we don't need mom and dad, they just screw everything up.
AJ can't speak tonight; he screamed too loud at my game, he was trying to make up for them not being there. I know he wishes he could be playing. I guess I shouldn't feel bad about them not coming when they didn't even come over when AJ had to have surgery on his knee. I can't believe he's going to be in a brace the whole season ... It sucks! /I
Once again Jason slammed the book shut. He grabbed another from the pile and randomly opened it. Of course once again, it wasn't pretty.
IDawn's dead. My sister's dead. My sister that I only spent 2 hours with is dead. She was 22 and she's dead. AJ just kept screaming, "It's not fair" when they told him. She was the way mom should have been. With the blonde hair, the blue eyes, she looked so much like mom, but she was nothing like her. She'd write us letters long letters, telling us funny stories from her job, her life and the world around her. She'd ask us questions, she'd reply to the answers and the questions we'd send her. It isn't fair!
How can she be dead?
She was one of the coolest people I've ever met. When we met her, she hugged us and I mean really hugged us and she meant it. You could feel that she cared and she's dead. She's one of the few people that ever really cared and she's dead. Monica should have died, Monica deserved to die, anyone in that family besides Lila deserved to die before our sister. I hate them. /I
Jason shut this book, not because it made him feel for AJ, but because it showed that Jason wasn't that flawless person they believed him to be. Jason had said it flat out that he hated them, he wasn't stupid, and he didn't have a blind eye to them. He knew exactly who they were and he knew all of this when he was a kid. Jason Q suddenly didn't seem so bad to him.
He picked up a more recent book and began to read...
For years Jason had avoided any contact with anything that was related to Jason Quatermaine, but he knew it would be lying to say he'd never been curious. But if he was curious than that meant, he would have to go to them and tell them that and that was one thing he'd never do. But now, it was right here, it was right at his fingertips because of those three boxes Edward had sent over.
He put the picture Brenda had given him on the coffee table and went over to the boxes. He sat down and starred at them, within those boxes was everything he'd spent years running from.
He started picking up the various picture frames that were in the first box. They weren't anything new; he'd seen them all once before when he'd come home from the hospital, he noticed there weren't any of him with Keesha, just him with Brenda, or him in a group of people or with the "family."
The next box was full of full photo albums. He spent some time flipping through them and there was one thing that was glaringly obvious. Jason Quatermaine had loved everyone Jason Morgan couldn't stand. All throughout the albums was AJ. It was funny though to see AJ throughout the years, when there was a time that he was as innocent as Michael. When AJ seemed happy, but that eventually ended in the pictures, his smiles became fake. Jason shook his head; he didn't need to have sympathy for AJ because it was pointless.
He looked at the last box; it was full of notebooks. Why the hell would they send schoolbooks?
He grabbed the black five star off the top of the pile and he realized why Reginald had sent it over. It wasn't a regular notebook; it was a journal .... They were his journals ... Jason Quartermaine's private thoughts, who he was and they were now at his fingertips ... not stories from others, not how great and flawless he was ... no this was just Jason.
It scared him, he would never admit that to anyone, but it scared him. He didn't want to know that person, he was too afraid of him and his life ... He didn't want it, he wanted it to stay separated from him...He didn't want any connection to that person, yet he couldn't stop himself from opening that book.
He laughed at himself when he read the first line
I It's the first day of 9th grade. /I
Ninth grade ... there was no worry about being connected to child.
INinth grade, in the US this would be a big deal. This would be high school; there would be new kids, and not the same faces I've been starring at since I was four. 'Course if I was in a real family in the US I would have seen my parents for more than those two weeks at the start of the summer. Of course out of those two weeks we had five family dinners, a trip to New York for new summer and school clothes ... I think we must have spent about a day and a half with them total if you add it up. I guess we're used to that, I know AJ is, actually he prefers it when they aren't around. I can't say I blame him, I've never seen anyone treated like they treat him. I've never seen anyone get so much abuse because they get B's and A-'s in school. I understand why AJ won't tell them he has an LD; they already look at him as if he's shit, if they knew that...they'll think he's actually damaged and not just a fuck up. He tries so hard though, I can't stand all the shit he takes from them. I don't think he can take it anymore either; he drinks and smokes way too much now. He's got to break away from them before it destroys him.
God I don't want to think about AJ, I spend too much of my time worrying about him, he at least has me, even if he doesn't have them. We have each other, we never needed them, and we never will. /I
Jason closed the book right there; he didn't want to know this. He didn't want to pity AJ. There had to be another book that started off on a better note, he picked up another and began to read.
IApril 3rd 1990
Today was my big game. They didn't come. They promised they would fly over, they both did. I know they're fighting, I know they're mad, but they promised. Dad promised to come even though mom was going to be there. Mom promised to come and bring Dawn. I have a sister and I've never met her. I talked to her on the phone a couple of times and she always seems really cool, just like AJ. She didn't talk about herself, she asked me questions, found out about my life, not like mom and dad, who ask but don't listen. I think she's going to be really cool, her, AJ and I...we don't need mom and dad, they just screw everything up.
AJ can't speak tonight; he screamed too loud at my game, he was trying to make up for them not being there. I know he wishes he could be playing. I guess I shouldn't feel bad about them not coming when they didn't even come over when AJ had to have surgery on his knee. I can't believe he's going to be in a brace the whole season ... It sucks! /I
Once again Jason slammed the book shut. He grabbed another from the pile and randomly opened it. Of course once again, it wasn't pretty.
IDawn's dead. My sister's dead. My sister that I only spent 2 hours with is dead. She was 22 and she's dead. AJ just kept screaming, "It's not fair" when they told him. She was the way mom should have been. With the blonde hair, the blue eyes, she looked so much like mom, but she was nothing like her. She'd write us letters long letters, telling us funny stories from her job, her life and the world around her. She'd ask us questions, she'd reply to the answers and the questions we'd send her. It isn't fair!
How can she be dead?
She was one of the coolest people I've ever met. When we met her, she hugged us and I mean really hugged us and she meant it. You could feel that she cared and she's dead. She's one of the few people that ever really cared and she's dead. Monica should have died, Monica deserved to die, anyone in that family besides Lila deserved to die before our sister. I hate them. /I
Jason shut this book, not because it made him feel for AJ, but because it showed that Jason wasn't that flawless person they believed him to be. Jason had said it flat out that he hated them, he wasn't stupid, and he didn't have a blind eye to them. He knew exactly who they were and he knew all of this when he was a kid. Jason Q suddenly didn't seem so bad to him.
He picked up a more recent book and began to read...