Here's the update, and hopefully the answer to (most) of your questions. Sorry to keep you waiting 24 hours (such a long time...). Thank you all for the birthday wishes. :)

Thanks to everyone who reviews, reads, tweets, etc. You're all wonderful.

Thanks for betaing while you're in class, Ali.

Disclaimer: Are you still reading these things? No.

In which we come clean

I stare at her. And stare. And stare some more. I'm waiting for her to crack a smile, laugh, bonk me on the nose for believing her for a second. But she doesn't do any of those things. She rocks back and forth on the little barstool and peers up at me, looking like she's about to cry.

So, I say the first thing that pops into my head. "That's really disturbing."

And she laughs and nods, thinking I'm trying to alleviate tension. In reality, I don't know what else to say or do.

Things start clicking into place, but I need more of an explanation from her to put the puzzle pieces together.

"And you're friends with Emmett, why?"

She absently chews on her lip. "He was a victim in it just as much as I was, Edward."

"I don't understand."

"Emmett had no idea about me. He had no idea Jacob was married. Just like I had no idea Jacob was gay. Emmett fell in love with Jacob – it's easy to do, he's a likable guy – and when he found out his man was married to a woman, it shattered him."

I just keep staring at her, waiting for her to continue.

"We were both crushed," she says finally, wiping her sniffling nose on the back of her hand. "We both had the man we loved lie to us in the worst possible way. We kind of bonded over that, you know? Everyone thinks I'm crazy to be best friends with the guy who broke up my marriage, but I don't see it like that. Emmett didn't destroy my marriage. Jacob did. Emmett doesn't look at me like the whore who crashed his romance, either."

I sit there in silence for so long, Bella moves to clean up the kitchen. She drops a kiss on my forehead and tells me she has to get ready for work, but I barely hear her. I'm stunned. I'm one hundred percent stunned.

By Emmett condoning this bargain with me, he essentially gave me the tools to hurt Bella in the very same way that she had been hurt before: deception of sexual preference. Regardless of the fact my preference lay with her, once it came out, it would still be the same sort of hurt for her.

Thirty minutes later, Emmett is opening the door to his apartment for me. His face is bruised, but mine is worse. We grunt at each other in acknowledgement, and then he moves aside to let me in.

"How…" I start as I sit down on his couch.

He lets out a big breath. "So, she told you, huh?"

I don't say anything. I think silence speaks volumes in this instance.

"Yep," he continues, moving into his kitchen. Two bottles clang together as he rummages through the fridge, and then he holds out a beer to me. "I'm the other woman."

I take a deep pull from the beer, letting the bitter carbonation wash down my throat. "I'm confused," I say finally. "How was it that you just didn't know about her?"

Emmett sighs and then sits down next to me. "The way Jacob and I met was as cute and picture perfect as anything. I bumped into him on the busy streets of Seattle. His shit went flying. We both tried to save it while trying to not get run over by cars. We laughed. I bought him a drink. We talked all night. We exchanged numbers. We texted all day, and talked on the phone late at night. We had dates every weekend. I was never invited back to his place because he claimed he still lived with his dad, which was true – he just didn't mention his wife lived there with him."

Thinking of Bella as a wife makes me feel emptier than anything has in a long time. Thinking of her waiting up for this man who was carrying on an affair with an equally oblivious human being fills up that emptiness with fury.

"I learned later that he told Bella he was going to the city to work on the weekends – they were really poor, she told me – and that he just crashed on a buddy's couch. This couch, actually." Emmett laughs bitterly, pointing to the worn cloth couch we're both slumped over on.

"I want to kill this guy," I say finally, clenching the beer bottle tightly, "more than I've ever wanted to kill anyone else."

"Bella stayed at her father's house one night," he continues, "so Jacob decided to finally bring me over. I was thrilled that I'd finally get to meet his dad – I thought that meant Jacob was finally going to commit – but then Jacob introduced me as his friend, and I thought the bottom had just fallen out of my world. Jacob was in the middle of making it up to me when Bella walked in. She had forgotten something – isn't that always how it is? She screamed. Jacob cried. I saw the wedding band on her finger – a puny little gold thing, no diamond – gathered my clothes, and left."

Emmett smiles to himself, and I can tell he's holding back tears. Something about this big, burly man telling someone he hates – me – a story about a time when he was the most vulnerable makes me want to howl in misery.

"Anyway, imagine my surprise when a pretty young thing shows up at my door a week later. At first, I hated her, Edward. She was – is – beautiful, sweet, smart, strong as all hell. I looked at her and saw the woman that Jacob, my Jacob, stood up with at the altar and promised life and death to. It didn't matter to me at the time that he had fooled her just as much as he had fooled me. I hated her. But she told me that she and I had something in common. We were both lonely because of the same man, and that maybe we could help cure each other's loneliness."

"Fuck," I grouse, irritated at the tear I feel slipping down my cheek. I wipe it away quickly and then suck down more beer.

"We started seeing more and more of each other, and eventually, I fell in love with her. As much as I can fall in love with a girl, anyway. She moved in with me a year later, and then we met you… and well. I'm not bitter about her anymore. I know what Jacob saw in her, and the fact that Jacob was able to snag such a wonderful woman is his only redeeming quality."

"So, she's terrified of straight men because…"

He laughs. "She's terrified of getting hurt again. Isn't it obvious now? With a gay man, there aren't any surprises to be had for Bella. It's that male companionship she craves without the scary world of vulnerability and attraction and passion… all the things she needs, but won't let herself have. A gay man is not an ambiguity to her. I know it doesn't make a world of sense, but it's her logic."

"So why did you set me up like that, knowing what she had been through?" I am seeing red behind my eyes, and despite the fact that he's been hurt badly in his life, I want to make him hurt more.

Emmett shrugs. "Listen, Edward. I never thought it would go this far. I thought you would add in an interesting element – a straight man's perspective, but told through a gay man's way – the way that Bella would listen to it. I thought you could help her open herself back up to the market, so to speak. And, well, I thought it would be hilarious – which it was – to torture you a little. I knew you were attracted to her, but I didn't know how deep your feelings for her went, and for that, I apologize."

"Do you really think I would pretend to be gay for some chick that I just wanted one night out of, Emmett? Don't even tell me how fucked up that sentence sounded. I know. I would have – I did – do anything just to be close to her. I realize how stunted my emotional connectivity was that I didn't even recognize what I felt for her at the beginning, but I'm telling you now. I'm fucking nuts about that girl. I'm tired of pretending."

Emmett raises his hands in a lost gesture. "I wish I had answers. I don't know what to tell you. You're in too deep now to back out gracefully. However this happens, it's going to be messy."

Here I was, pretending to be something for her so I wouldn't have to know the bleakness of not having her in my life any longer. Now, I'm confronted with the very real possibility that once I tell the truth, regardless of my sexuality, the fact that I deceived her will run her out of my life forever.

"Let her go," Emmett says suddenly, looking me in the eye. "You need to let her go, Edward. It's the one thing Jacob could have done to spare her the hurt. He could have let either of us go, instead of – "

"No," I say finally, standing. "You're wrong. I'm not taking the choice away from Bella. If she wants to go, she deserves the pride and dignity of making that decision for herself. She deserves to be told the truth, and she deserves to be able to make a call with all the knowledge, without anyone tying her hands and making her choose something because she has no other choice. I know I've been nothing but an asshole about all of this, but I refuse to take the easy way out by just dipping out of her life. I deserve to be cast aside by her – but only if that's her choice. If by some miracle she wants me, then that's her choice, too."

Emmett stares at me for quite some time, and then breaks into a smile. "I think you overestimate your ability to act like a gay man, Edward. Bella is… on to you, shall we say. I don't think she'll be too shocked by your revelation, but I know she'll be pissed as all hell for your deception. I don't know what she'll choose – her pride or her heart. But I know that if she chooses to keep you, like I know she'll want to, she'll be keeping a good man."

On my drive home, I call Alice. I need to know what she and Bella talked about last night – was it only last night? Fuck – at the bar.

She answers on the second ring. "It's about time."

"Cut the shit," I say tiredly. I don't remember being more exhausted in my life. "You know what I want to know."

She tells me to meet her at a restaurant downtown, and so I turn around and drive back that way. She's sitting in one of the booths when I get there, snacking on sweet potato fries. She offers some to me, but I shake my head.

"So," she says finally, getting to business. "When were you going to tell me?"

"About what?" I ask, deciding to eat a fry.

"About your bisexuality."

I choke on the fry. "My what?"

"Bella tells me that you have suddenly taken a nose dive – and I mean that literally – into the world of cock, brother."

"I'm not bisexual," I tell her. My voice sounds dead even to my own ears.

"Well, that's not what Bella thinks. I assured her that you loved women a disgusting amount, and she seemed extremely confused by this. So, we both came to the conclusion that you've been dipping your wick in the best of both worlds."

I think about how easily she gave into kissing me last night, and the last couple puzzles pieces snap into place. She wasn't kissing an Edward that was gay – she was giving in to an Edward who she thought finally appreciated her womanly wiles. An Edward that had seen both sexes and decided that he wanted her at that moment. Did she kiss me to make herself feel better? Did she use me?

Bella gets back from work late, and I'm lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling when she walks in. I can smell a hard day's work of grease and griping customers on her when she waves at me from the hallway, and I hate to have to do this today. I can tell she's just as exhausted as I am.

"Bella?" I call, sitting up in bed.

She peeks her beautiful face around the corner, and I drink it in, wondering if this is the last time I'll see it in a happy expression. "Hi, Edward. Long day?"

"Very," I tell her. "Can we talk?"

She nods warily. I know she thinks I'm going to tell her about my conversation with Emmett, but that's the furthest from my mind.

"Can I shower first?" she asks.

I almost say yes, but thinking about waiting another fifteen minutes with this feeling in my gut is torture.

"No," I say, and then pat the bed next to me. "This… can't really wait."

So she trudges into my room and sits down on the bed and looks up at me expectantly.

"I talked to Alice today," I say finally. "And she told me about you two… your discussion about my sexuality."

Bella goes red. "She promised she wouldn't say anything!"

I shake my head. "Never tell Alice anything you don't want the whole world knowing. But that's not the point – "

"Edward, I don't care that you're bisexual," she says, cutting across me. "I've always kind of suspected it. No offense. You're just not gay," she emphasizes. "You're too masculine. You're too – you're just not. You don't have to be ashamed of liking both – I kind of understand. Girls are really pretty, and sometimes I – "

I have to cut her off before she continues with that sentence, because that's the last image I need when I'm about to break my own heart. "I'm not bisexual, Bella."

She scrunches her eyebrows together. "Edward, it's okay. You don't have to lie to me anymore."

I close my eyes. "You're right. I don't. I'm so sorry that I've lied to you, Bella."

"It's okay – "

"No, you don't – "

"Edward, it's okay. I'm kind of… relieved. I was happy when Alice and I figured it out, because to be honest – I think you're – I think you're extremely beautiful and wonderful, and I really kind of like you." She takes a deep breath. "I just didn't know it because I always thought that you were gay, so I kind of just pushed it aside. But, I mean… it's okay that I like you, right?" She smiles up at me, so shy, and I just know that I'm dying.

It would be so easy to take this and run with it. It would be so easy to just smooth this whole thing over, and tell her that not only do I like her too, I love her. But because I love her, and respect her, and a lot of other things I didn't think I ever would with a woman, I can't do that.

"I'm not bisexual, Bella. And I'm not gay, either. I'm straight. I'm one hundred percent straight. The night you met me at the Nugget, I was pretending to be gay so I wouldn't get my face beat in – long story. But then the charade just continued because I wanted so bad to be by your side but I knew you hated straight men, so I pretended. I'm not gay. I've never been attracted to a man. And I've never loved anyone before, not until you."

"I don't believe you." Her voice is quiet and clogged.

I take her hand and press it against the erection that I've been sporting perpetually for the past few months. She gasps and gapes at me.

"You do that to me," I tell her. "And no one else."

She removes her hand slowly, and then stands up. She doesn't look at me at all before she leaves the room, and then I'm all alone with my truth bouncing off the empty walls. I hear the bathroom door open and shut, and then the shower cut on.

I'm left with nothing but her silence.