The water cuts off, and I start thinking of all the horrible things that could happen to me (and my balls) if Bella decides to come back into my room. Most of me wants her to, but the part of me that cares only about my testicles and their livelihood is hoping that she is so mentally exhausted that she just passes out in her bed (or mine).

I hear her in her room next to mine, rummaging around. Sweat starts to bead at my hairline and runs down into my eyebrows. What if she has pliers in her room? Pliers to my nuts. Or maybe a hammer to my nuts. No, she doesn't have hardware in her room. But what if she does? Maybe I can barter with her. She can smash my nose if she leaves the nuts. Wait, do I want my nose smashed? No, but do I care about the boy wonders more than my nose? Why am I even asking? Of course I do.

My door opens, and I blurt out, "Please, God, just not my nuts."

I'm met with silence, so I remove my hand from my boys and glance up. Bella is standing in my doorway, her eyebrow raised.

"I'm not God or a squirrel, so I don't think that sentence was meant for me," she says finally.

I sag against the bed. "Hi."

I hear her deep breath. "Hi."

We stare at each other for a few moments before she comes in and closes the door behind her. My paranoid mind is wondering if this is an attempt to muffle my screams. She shuffles forward until her knees hit the edge of the bed, and then she's crawling onto it, up my body, before she sits down on my stomach.

"Ooof," I mutter as she makes herself comfortable. "Hi," I repeat. Her bony ass is stabbing my stomach, but I can hardly believe my luck that she's choosing to be this close to me in a way that (so far) isn't going to end in blood and/or tears. I place my hands on her hips, and she shifts a little, but doesn't pull me away.

"Why?" she asks me. "Why couldn't you just tell me the truth?"

Scratch that. This will definitely end in tears.

"I told you, Bella…"

"And considering the amount of shit you've lied to me about, I think I can ask 'why' again and again until I'm satisfied. You're lucky I'm not beating the shit out of you right now." She crosses her arms and digs her ass farther into my stomach.

I wince uncomfortably. Then I think of the time she knocked a grown ass man to the ground in that bar, and realize I better get to talking.

"If I had known the extent of – of your hurt, I would have never done this, Bella. But I can't regret it now. When I met you at the Nugget, talking to you – it was like…" I try to think of something pretty to say, but she stops me with a finger to my lips.

"I don't want what your alter ego, Edwina, would say."

"Edwina!" I'm so offended. Then I realize she's giggling down at me, so I roll my eyes. "I don't know what you mean, Bella."

"You've spent a lot of time around Emmett – he's probably taught you a lot of smooth things to say. But I don't want to hear what he has to say. I want to hear it from you."

"I pretended to be gay so I could be close to you. Does that not speak volumes?" When I can tell she's not satisfied with this, I try again. Her weight on me is starting to get a little uncomfortable, but I press on. "When I first saw you, I wanted to fuck you. But as time wears on, I want to do things to you that Boyz II Men wrote songs about, Bella."

She tries to hide a smile. "That's not satisfactory."

I groan in frustration. "What do you want, then, Bella? Beat the shit out of me if you want. Scream at me if you want. Kick me out of this apartment if you want. Well, no, technically my name is on the lease – "

"Shut up, Cullen."

"Right. I just don't get it. I don't get your calm."

"I've been told a lot worse," she says quietly, and she runs her nails up my arm.

I close my eyes. "That's not – that's fucked up, Bella. Not you – but this. I don't want to be one of the easier losses you've suffered, or something you can compartmentalize. Deal with me. Deal with this." I grabbed onto her forearms, forcing her to look at me. "I lied to you. I've seen you naked under false pretenses. I've beaten off to the thought of you – "

"Shut up, Edward." Her voice is low. I'm getting somewhere.

"Emmett knows. He helped set all of this up. I told Jasper you had teeth in your vagina – "

"Shut the fuck up!" she yells, pounding at my chest.

"I stole your body lotion and used it to jack off – "

"That shit was expensive!" she screams, beating my chest harder.

I keep goading her, making her confront her anger. She punches me with her little fists and that's okay. I can take the pounding, even though I know I'll bruised and sore tomorrow. She can punch me all day every day for what I did, but what I can't take is what I notice when I finally look up at her - her tears.

"No," I tell her, sitting up. "Stop crying. I'm not worth those tears – fucking quit it, Bella. Stop."

She falls into my chest, and I hold onto her, my whole body rocking with the force of her sobs. She beats me at random intervals before turning into a hysterical mass of snot, and then she quiets. This cycle repeats for a few times before she starts grasping at the hem of my shirt.

She rubs her nose all over it. NICE.

"The lying stuff – it… I can't began to think about all the implications right now," she says finally, not looking at me. "I've had a really long day, and my brain hurts, and – you told Jasper my vagina has teeth?"

"He was asking why we weren't having sex! I couldn't – "

"It doesn't have teeth," she tells me.

"Well, I figured it didn't."

"How would you know?"

"I – what? I wouldn't."

"Do you want to know?"

"What?"

She looks at me like I've completely lost my mind. Maybe I have. I know what it sounds like, but I'm not making any assumptions.

"I've already come to terms with the fact you like girls," she says quietly. "It's the lying – I don't – " She takes a deep breath, looks at me funny, and then kisses me.

I don't think I could have planned a weirder night. I tell Bella my secret, keep my nuts intact, and Bella is kissing me.

"Are you going to respond or am I going to have to keep kissing a corpse?" She pokes at my face. "I know you aren't made of stone."

Fine. Fine. She wants me to respond? Fine. I pull her back down to me, and we kiss, and it's hot and it's messy and it makes absolutely no sense to my heart – but that's probably because it's sending all the blood flow south, instead of north. My nuts are delighted that they are going to be used. Then she bites my lip and I hate when girls do that but then she makes up for it by urging me on top of her while rubbing her foot against my uncomfortable erection.

"Ugh – come on, Edward," she whispers against my mouth as I'm hesitant to grind against her. "I know you want it."

"I do – " and I guess she hears the big 'but' about to follow, because she pulls me down hard on top of her.

"Then take it," she hisses.

So I go through the motions. We end up with our clothes off, and she's just as beautiful as I've always thought she would be – even though I've seen her naked, seeing a woman naked and squirming and sweaty is a completely different sort of sensation. She reacts to all of my touches perfectly because I know what I'm doing – this sort of dance, I've done it a million times over. Her nipples are hard against my palm and her stomach silky against my fingers. Her skin is sloppy and wet where it should be, and she's spongy and soft against my two fingers.

I keep waiting for her to open her eyes to me, to let me in. But she is thrashing around on my pillow, letting me fuck her with my fingers without any passion, any emotion. She comes quickly after I get a hold of the hard nub with my tongue, and then she's pulling me back up, telling me how she wants me inside.

I know she senses my hesitation. She knows me so well, and as she unhooks the button of my pants, I think about her – how uncharacteristic this is, and how I would never suspect this girl of dispassionate anything. She's the most passionate person I know – about everything – and it's one of the many reasons I stop her.

"What's the matter?" she asks, her eyes finally making contact with mine. But this time, I'm the one that looks away.

"I don't think this is a good idea." I try to back away, but she grabs onto my arms.

"Don't reject me," she says, and her voice is small, a whimper.

"Jesus," I hiss. "I don't want to reject you – "

"Then don't," she practically wails.

"Then look at me," I demand. "Don't take your eyes off of me. If you do, for even a second, I'm done."

So she watches me as my pants go to my ankles. She watches me (her head slightly cocked, fighting a smile) as my cock springs out of my pants like a jack-in-the-box. She watches me as I roll on a condom and spread her legs. She watches me as she loops her arms around my neck.

"Are you ready?" I whisper. I can feel that she's not as wet as she once was – she's kind of sticky in that way that girls get before they turn into sandpaper.

"Yes," she gasps. I wet my fingers and lubricate her down there, and she makes a pretty noise, and I slide home.

My forehead bangs against hers as I thrust my way in. Slowly, because she's keening – I know it's been a while for her, and it's definitely been a while for me. She feels like other girls but not. She's not the tightest (even though she's tight), she's not the wettest (even though she's wet), but she's still the best, because her eyes are still on me, and even though I know she's trying to guard herself, her eyes say it all.

"This feels so good," she whispers after a moment, closing her eyes.

I thrust into her roughly, and her eyes pop back open as mine close. No, can't do that again, or I'm going to come quicker than a thirteen year old with his dad's Hustler.

"Oh god, do that again," she pleads, wrapping her legs tighter around me and giving me little choice.

The girl wants to completely emasculate me. First, I pretend I'm gay around her for months. Now, as I get to show her I'm not, she's forcing me to blow my load in less than five minutes.

But I do it, because it makes her feel good, and it makes me feel good, too. I ask her if she's gonna come, but she says she doesn't come from sex – and even though I want to prove her wrong – I have no time. Her tight little – it's hugging me – best hug ever – and then I come, gloriously. I feel like I'm shooting lasers out of my dick I come so hard, each thrust a strangled noise leaving my throat, and then I collapse, and Bella complains.

"You're fat," she insists, shoving at my sweaty chest.

I smile contentedly and rest my head between her boobs. Her right one is hitting me in the face each time she tries to shove me, and if I had to die, I would choose right now. I could not be happier.

I shift over eventually, and Bella props herself up on an elbow. "I really needed that," she says, and she's still panting a bit.

"I still don't know what just happened," I told her.

She smiles at me. "Well, when a man and a woman – "

"Ha ha," I cut her off. "Bella, you just – try to understand. I've been beating the fuck out of myself for months now, thinking about all the ways you'd torture me once you found out – and instead, you fuck me."

"Do you always over think things like this?"

"No," I answer honestly. "Not really. But with you – yeah. All the time."

"We both needed to have sex," she says after a minute, and she's definitely not looking at me again. "So I don't get the problem. We both…"

"We both what?" I question, when she stops.

"Got off," she answers, and then she scoots out of the bed. "Anyway, I have an early day tomorrow, so – "

I grab her arm. "What are you doing? You can sleep in here."

"No, that's okay – I mean, I know what this was…"

"Obviously, you don't."

"We just needed some – "

"If I wanted some, I could go out and get some," I tell her.

Immediately I can tell this is the wrong thing to have said, but I'm so confused by her sudden coolness and – and – rejection, that I'm grasping blindly at straws.

"Well why don't you just do that," she hisses at me, and then slams my door.

At this point, I think I would have preferred her crushing my nuts.

XxXxX

The next morning passes, and I don't see light until the afternoon. When my eyes open, there is a condom still on my dick, which through the night has become flaccid and then hard again, and all of that motion has made my jizz leak all over my legs and sheets.

I find a note from Bella on the counter, apologizing for last night, telling me she's sore with a sideways wink and to meet her at Pike Pub at seven. I don't really want to go to a bar, but I will go wherever she wants me to because I am completely and totally and finally pussy whipped like that.

I shower and throw my sheets in the laundry and call Emmett (who doesn't answer). I call Alice but hang up when she answers because I don't really know why I called her annoying ass in the first place. I then stare at my phone and realize I don't have anyone else to call.

Well that's fucking depressing.

I get to the bar a little before seven and order whatever they have on draught, and then sit back and wait for Bella to arrive. Then I hear her laugh somewhere, so I turn my head and search for her.

She's standing next to some guy, and I can tell they're joking around because she keeps nudging him like she always does to me when I'm being annoying. I walk over in their direction and clear my throat, and she looks up at me, startled.

"Oh, Edward – hi! I didn't think you'd be on time." She's looking a bit guilty, I think, and she should be. My dick was inside her not even twenty-four hours ago. She doesn't get to flirt with guys in front of me.

"I'm always on time," I tell her flatly, because I am. She's the one who's always late.

"Oh… yes, true. Edward, this is Ben," she says, gesturing to the guy beside her.

We both size each other up, and then grip the shit out of each other's hands when we shake.

"I went to high school with him," Bella goes on to explain. "He dated one of my friends, Angela… a really long time ago," she adds, and kind of smiles up at him.

I glare at her. "Isn't that against girl code?"

She glares back at me. "You would know all about that, wouldn't you?"

Oh, here we are. Okay, I get it. This is revenge. Smooth, Bella. Rub a guy in my face, one that has yet to say a word – obviously a real brain – and has really, really bad hair. Oh, and go ahead and passive aggressively attack me for things both me and my dick have apologized for last night. Okay, fine. Choose to play that card, because I've got you, girl.

"Well, yeah, I guess I would. I mean, you play the game, you learn the rules, you know?"

"What sort of game?" she questions.

"I think you know exactly what kind of games I like to play, Bella," I tell her, dropping my voice.

She flushes and turns away.

So we're going to do this, are we? Fine.

I pull out my phone as I walk away from her and text Emmett.

I need your help.

Game on, baby.

xxxxxxxx

Okay so, none of the author notes are saving. SO fail. So I'm reuploading.

Hi, beautiful people. Let's watch as Bella, who has been hurt by too many males in her young life, decides that revenge is in order. I can't wait for you to read what I've got in store for the last half of BF!

Until then, thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed and recommended. You people are so fucking cool. I love you.

Thanks to Ali and Kassiah for reading this mess before it's edited.

And thanks to Stephenie Meyer for letting me borrow her characters.

xoxoxo