I do not own. Sadly.

-#3!0—

Edward met the 'rents.

And he came out alive.

No, literally, he came that night.

So did I.

Fucking stellar.

I'd freaked when I saw Spunk. Then freaked some more when I saw my parents. Then a tad bit more when I saw my uncles. Jumped on Jane and Demitri. Yeah, our family is close. Well, Rob isn't exactly related to me, but you know what I mean. You don't? Then fuck you.

I'm more bitter than usual. I know.

This is the longest time period in which I haven't gotten laid. Even the fucking pathetic humans at my school are getting more than me! That's when you know that something is wrong.

I know that Edward wants me. He's hard practically every second that I'm around him.

The blowjobs, the handjobs, the fingering… they aren't enough anymore. I need him all up in me. And when I say all up in me, I mean all up in me.

My vagina needs to cum in contact with his penis.

Oh God, did I really just say vagina? And penis?

Oh God.
I'm going through withdrawal. I'm going crazy and using the appropriate terms for the male and female sex organs

OH GOD.

Did I really just say that?

Male and female sex organs?

The fuck?

I need to fucking get laid. Like, now.

"Edward, I need to get laid," I tell him as we lay on his bed in his room.

"Sweetheart, your father is less than 2 miles away."

"You act like we've done it already," I sigh, rolling over to my side, away from him. He leans in, spooning me. I feel him hard against my back.

"Bella," he murmurs, nuzzling into my neck. "Bella, I want to, God, do I want to. But not now. It's not the right time yet."

I groan. "When will it be the right time?" I turn again and bury my face in the pillow.

"We'll know."

"Edward! This is not some fairytale. I just want to get laidddd."

He sounds wounded. "Don't you care about me? I thought you were falling in love with me."

"Edward…" I trail off. Isabella Volturi does not believe in love. But is that what the tightening around my stomach when I'm around him is? The need to keep him happy all the time? The fuzzy feeling when I see him smile? How when he's touching me, it's more than just lust? There's something there, at the edges, waiting to let itself known.

Love?

That's what that shit is?

Wow.

Edward must've not been paying attention to my thoughts, because I feel the bed move as he gets up.

"Edward." He's facing the balcony, and doesn't look toward me.

"Edward." No response.

"Edward." I use my power voice. The voice that lets others know that I'm not bullshitting around.

""Yes?" he mutters, inclining his body a bit toward mine.

"Stop being so fucking melodramatic and look into my mind."

He does, and in a matter of seconds, he is grinning and jumping onto the bed and hovering above my body. He starts to kiss my neck with wet, open-mouthed kisses, and I moan. He moves down, to my shoulders, which are exposed due to the tank top I am wearing.

"Soon, baby. So fucking soon," he whispers against my skin.

He sits me up and takes the tank top off, leaving me in only a blue bra and shorts. Very short shorts, Very short jean shirts. I look pretty fucking hot.

He removes the shorts with some help from me, and unclasps the bra, letting it slip down my arms.

He has me stand up on the bed, and he eases my dark blue lace panties down my legs. I'm not paying attention the his thoughts, simply choosing to study his face, so when he pulls me out from under my feet and I fall back on the bed, I shriek.

He's laughing and I kick him. "DOUCHEBAG!"

"You're the one that corrupted me, hun."

"Not to practically trip me!"

"Do you want to get to the point, or do you plan on arguing all day?" he asks as he trails his long fingers down my stomach, making me quake with lust.

I lean back and give him full control of the situation.

He returns to the open mouthed kisses, going painfully slow, on purpose.

"Edward…" I whimper, wanting him to just fucking get there.

"Hmm?" he mumbles against my navel.

"Hurry the fuck up."

"Say the magic words."

"Edward has the maddest oral skills in the world."

"Good girl," be he stopped teasing me and plunged into my sex.

-#3!0—

"Let's go hunting," he suggests two days later.

"Why?"

"Because I'm thirsty," he states as if it is obvious. It is. I just don't feel like thinking. At all.

"M'kay. I'm inviting people."

"Bella…" he whines.

"Do you not want to see the infamous Volturi Brothers be forced into drinking animal blood?"

"You can get them to do that?"

"I can get them to do almost anything, babe. Nothing sexually, because not only would they not even spare a glance my way,. But I do not like to think of my dad and uncles naked."

"But you read minds…?"

"Do not bring that up," I say before getting up from where I was on the floor of my room and downstairs to look for the three.

"What the hell am I supposed to do?" my dad asks as we stand in the middle of the forest.

"Hunt," I state bluntly. I mean, really, Aro. Could the answer be any more obvious?

"Sweetheart, it's very obvious. Find an animal and drain it," my mom says. See? Where do youy think I got my common sense from? Definitely not Daddy Dearest.

"But there are no animals nearby," Aro whines. He's not as strong and tough and powerful as the vamp world thinks. I see Edward trying to hold back his laughter.

"Let insicnt take over, dumbass," Mark murmurs, rolling his eyes. He does as he said himself, and over a few seconds, takes off.

"Isabella, I really don't want to drink nasty animal blood," Grumpy complains.

"It doesn't matter what you want. Five…" and they all take off, leaving me and Edward.

"So you're practically the ruler of the rulers, huh?" he questions.

"Of course not…" I say sarcastically. He kisses me and runs ahead. I follow him.

We quickly find my family in a small clearing, looks of disgust on their faces. There were carcasses everywhere, one per person.

"How the hell do you drink this piece of shit?" Caius asks, shuddering.

"It's really quite simple, actually. You hold the animal against your throat," I start before I get interrupted.

"You know what I mean," he snaps. I roll my eyes.

"{My pride is wounded, dear daughter of mine."

"How?"

"It's a sad day when the ruler of all vampires drinks animal blood. I feel ashamed. I have no pride in myself anymore," Daddy Dearest says.

"Grow up."

"I'm afraid I cannot. Speaking of, you do realize that I'm only 4 years older than you? How awesome is that?"

"It just means, were the human world to ever know, that you were a four year old whore."

"Are you calling me a whore also, honey?" Mommy Dearest asks, raising a brow.

"Psshhh… of course not. You're two years older than him. Six is no longer a whore. You just turn into a rapist," I tease.

"My pride." Daddy Dearest holds a hand over his heart.

"You lost that a long time ago," Mark says to my father.

"Burn."

"Die."

"Too late."

"Nuh-uh! You still have human in you! You can still die."

"I'm going to call CPS on you."

"I'll just eat them."

"Touché."

"I love you."

"Fuck off."

"Fuck on."

"You're so damn annoying."

"I passed that trait on to you, dear."

"Blah."

"Blab."

"You're embarrassing me, Aro."

"Oh, we're on a first name basis now, Isabella?"

"Haven't we always?"

"True. Well, I'm going to go to Seattle and find a few humans."

"Okay. No one in Forks. We'll have issues."

"We already have issues."

"I forgot; you didn't love me as a little child."

"Sure. Who told you that?"

"Caius."

"But your uncle is an evil motherfucker, Bella."

"And you aren't?"

"What about you?"

"I never said I wasn't."

"I love you, Bells."

"And I you, Dad."

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