In the wee hours of the morning, Ziva suddenly awoke. The feel of a man next to her in the bed was nothing new, but then the memory of the previous evening, and the look on Tony's face when she finally told her story, came back to her and her flight instincts came to the fore. She didn't want to stick around to see his pity ... or even that other emotion she was too scared to name, written plainly on his face in the morning light.

Silently, she slid out of the bed, pausing only momentarily to look back at his sleeping form with regret, but she knew it was no use. After what she had revealed last night, everything was sure to change. No matter how he felt last night, in morning's cruel light, he was sure to realize what she was. A murderer, nothing more, nothing less. She had suffered too much loss in her life - her sister, her mother, Michael - and then there was Ari, dead by her own hand. Even her father, though still alive, might as well be counted in the sad litany of the bodies that littered her life. Soon, when NCIS questioned her father and learned about her history, she would lose the people she had come to consider her family. Getting close to Tony now would only exacerbate the situation, only twist the knife even deeper. She couldn't go there so she knew she had to be the one to leave before it went any further.

Despite the fact that she knew she should go in to NCIS, face her father and, even worse, face Gibbs and Vance, she just couldn't bring herself to tell her story again. Then she realized that telling it to Tony had put him in a very awkward position. Gibbs and Vance were sure to ask him what he knew and he would be torn between giving them the information they needed and breaking her confidence. That at least was something she could fix. She hunted around the apartment until she found a pen and paper, then sat down to write a note.

Dearest Tony,

You have always had my back. I know that I have not always appreciated, or even acknowledged it, but I have always known that I could count on you.

Now, it is time that I return the favor.

You deserve to be with someone who can give back to you, someone whole - not the damaged goods that my life has left me. I will only hold you back and after all you have done I refuse to let that happen. I just want you to know that I will always remember everything you have done for me and, no matter what, the memory of your loyalty and belief in me will stay with me forever.

I also realize that last night's confession puts you in an awkward position and I am telling you now that you do not need to think of me. Although I cannot bring myself to repeat my story to Gibbs and Vance, I am giving you permission to tell them what you know without worrying about betraying me. If there is one thing I have learned from you, it is that I cannot avoid facing the music. See, I have even learned an American idiom but, as with most of what I have learned in my life, it is too little and too late.

I will come into headquarters at some point today, even if it is only to tender my resignation, but then I am leaving. Do not come after me. You are too good an agent, and a person, to tie yourself to the rotting mess that is my life and career. I do not yet know where I will go or what I will do but I will survive somehow. That is my one talent - survival - so do not worry about me.

I will remember you, and the team, forever.

Ziva thought for a long moment about what to put as the closing. Sincerely was clearly too formal but the other words that came to mind expressed an emotion she was not yet ready to put down on paper. Finally, she simply signed her name. She left the letter in the center of Tony's desk, moving an old basketball trophy to hold it down and be sure that Tony noticed its presence.

She looked around the apartment one last time, tears clouding her vision, then grabbed her purse and headed for the door. She paused just before she left and whispered into the empty room.

"I do love you, Tony, but you will be better off not knowing that. And people such as I cannot afford to think of love."

Then she wiped the tears from the corners of her eyes before they could fall, squared her shoulders and walked out into the grey light of the barely rising dawn.

The warm light of the morning sun that slanted between his blinds and fell on his face was what finally woke Tony. He took his time rising up from from his pleasant dreams of last night. Finally he stretched and, without really opening his eyes, reached across the bed for Ziva and felt ... nothing. The cold, empty pillow next to him brought him instantly awake even though he told himself that Ziva was a notoriously early riser and probably waiting for him in the kitchen or living room, drinking coffee and tapping her foot with impatience at his sleepiness. She wouldn't have left ... she couldn't have left ... not after what they had shared last night. At least that is what Tony told himself as he scrambled into a pair of boxers and went looking for her, his heart in his throat.

But the apartment was empty and silent. The only thing moving in the living room were the dust motes that twirled and danced in the splintered rays of light that managed to squeeze in through the curtains. He scanned the room, hoping against hope, to find some remnant of her. Something she might have left behind that would allow him to believe that she had just stepped out for breakfast, or to go for a run. Then the statue snagged his gaze. It belonged on the shelf above the desk and he was sure he had not moved it himself. Slowly, dread weighing down his footsteps, he walked over and removed her missive from beneath its impromptu paperweight.

The handwriting was unmistakably Ziva's, with that strangely precise yet artistic quality that must have come from years of forming the more difficult Hebrew letters of her native language. He took a deep breath and read her message, unconsciously biting his lip as he realized just how much guilt and fear she was still carrying. Before her intentions, and his disappointment, could really sink in, he was startled by the ringing of his phone. Dropping the letter, he walked to the coffee table and found his cell where he had tossed it last night.

"DiNozzo," he answered, catching the call just before it stopped ringing.

"Need you in the office early," Gibbs' voice said into his ear. "Need you to get Ziva, too. She's not answering her phone."

"Uh, that might be a problem, boss," Tony replied.

Gibbs could hear the edge of worry in his senior agent's voice. "Talk to me, DiNozzo," he said.

And with that, Tony knew the time for subterfuge was over. Putting aside any worries he had for himself, he told Gibbs what had happened, starting with finding Ziva in the bar and ending with finding her gone in the morning. What he didn't tell his boss were the details of Ziva's anguished confession. Even though she had given him permission, in fact almost begged him, to tell her story, it still felt like a betrayal to reveal her secrets, so Tony simply glossed over that portion of the narrative. Maybe, if he was lucky, Gibbs would let sleeping dogs lie, at least until he could figure out what Ziva planned. He also didn't explicitly say they had slept together, but he knew Gibbs was more than perceptive enough to read between the lines and when he finally finished speaking he waited for the angry outburst he was sure would be coming.

"Is she in danger?" Gibbs asked in a concerned voice.

"Not right this second."

"A danger to herself?"

"No ... no, she left a note. Said she would be in to NCIS sometime today ... to tender her resignation," Tony said, his defeat obvious in his tone.

"Okay then, we can't worry about her right now. I know it'll be hard on you but I need you to come in and leave Ziva to her own devices for now. Eli David has agreed to an interview and will be here within the hour. You managed to play him once before, back in Israel and I need you in that room with me when we question him."

"That's it, boss? You're not gonna yell at me?"

"For what, DiNozzo."

"You know, rule twelve and all that. And for maybe being the reason Ziva is in the wind."

"Tony, part of being a good agent is knowing when to break the rules - and you are a good agent. I trust your judgement. Just come in and as soon as we finish with Director David we'll figure out what to do about Ziva."