Chapter 11
It Can't Be
Jason~
I woke up to the sunlight streaming down upon Brenda and I from the blinds I had forgotten to close last night. We slept as husband and wife, with her head upon my chest and my arm drawing her close and protecting her from others even as we slept. I wondered what she would do if I awakened her with a kiss, then I started to wonder where that thought had come from.
Bile started to rise up my throat as I realized what has happened, I've fallen in love with Brenda. I fell in love with her just as Sonny and Jax did and I had no idea how it happened.
I close my eyes and tilt my head back as far from her as possible, trying to seek some clarity.
It isn't love, it can't be love...
It's because she's sick; she's dying and she's my responsibility. That's it; she's my responsibility, just as Michael was once, how can you hate someone when they're so vulnerable? I open my eyes and look back down to where she slept. She was trusting like a child; she put her life in my hands. That explained these feelings I now felt for her.
She starts to wake; she stretches; her arm stretches, moving her hand very slowly across my body. She does that soft groan/sigh that causes a reaction in all males that we all try to deny. One little sound that can reduce a man to mush, on second thought, definitely not mush…That soft sound that makes me want to clasp my hands around that tiny little waist of hers and raise her up to me. I resist and she says "Morning" sleepily, seductively with a small smile on her lips and I wonder if she has the same thoughts running through her head.
I smile at her, I like this intimacy, the no walls "Morning, sleep well?"
She nods.
I have to distract myself from this moment…"So, what are you plans for today?"
She gives me a look, that you're an idiot look, she doesn't bother speaking.
I laugh "I guess that look would mean either A) Physical therapy with Jax or B) Cheetos."
She laughs with me "Jax has physical therapy, but not until 5."
I frown slightly as I talk to her "Well we can't have you sitting around the apartment all day again."
With a teasing smile she says "That would be a waste of my final days wouldn't it. So what do you suggest we do about it?"
"I was thinking about a house." I say with a straight face
Her face goes blank "Are you serious?"
I smile at her "I think you've had enough of this penthouse"
She jumps up to a sitting position on bed, shocking my whole system and causes me to sit up too. Her face is alive and vibrant; I knew my hasty words had been the correct ones. "When can we start looking?"
"As soon as you're ready to go, I'll call a realtor after I shower."
"AAAH Jason, you're the best" Brenda squeals as she leans into me and hugs me and then runs out of the room leaving me dazed.