Risenfromash: This chapter features one of my original ideas/concepts for The Nature of Devotion and one of the first I wrote so I cant believe that it has taken me this long to refine it to the point I felt I could post it! This is chapter 8, already? Wow, obviously, Franzy and Miles have more going on in their lives than I would have guessed!
~xxxx~
"What does he have that I don't?" Franziska shouted angrily while waving a business card in her brother's direction. Her rage was almost tangible with waves of it undulating towards Miles.
"I could think of at least one thing," Miles said factually knowing that the statement would unfortunately further incur her wrath.
Franziska hated the fact she was a woman for many reasons, but Miles' homoerotic tendencies had now become the main reason. If she were a man there would be no reason for him to ever wander from her, but instead she was a woman and despite her brother's constant statements that he was in no way interested in pursuing other relationships he had accepted a man's phone number.
Perhaps, it had not been entirely Edgeworth's fault. The man had come to the von Karma mansion uninvited. He had bought the neighboring estate and it seemed innocent enough for a new neighbor to come over to introduce himself, but had Miles really needed to talk to him for nearly a half hour about dogs and the flowering trees along the garden's border? Miles didn't talk that much to anyone! And Franziska was no fool. She had seen the way the man's eyes studied Miles body and the suggestive look he imparted when they had exchanged numbers "in case of emergencies".
She was very worried that phone number would be abused. She could imagine Miles going over for dinner and having a few drinks afterwards saying that it was the neighborly thing to do and she was determined Miles not do anything neighborly with this man.
"You like him don't you?" She said with great distaste.
"Yes, I do. He's seems quite nice."
"He reminds you of Phoenix." She hissed. She was going crazy with jealousy, but she wasn't sure that letting her brother know just how much she wanted him all to herself was a wise idea.
Miles laughed. "Franziska, he is nothing like Wright. He has much better taste."
Franziska snorted. She probably couldn't argue that point, but he was enough like Phoenix that Miles found him desirable. That was enough of a similarity for her.
"But like with Wright I'm not going to do anything. I-"
Franziska started clawing at Mile's clothing, pulling his blazer and shirt off. She was going to make him feel the sting of her love. How dare he look at someone else!
"Here let me help you." He said removing his shirt and kneeling before her offering her his back.
"I know my wandering eyes have wounded you."
The ivory flesh of his back revealed the scars of other doses of punishment, but Franziska thought that they were nothing compared to the marks she would leave on him today. This man with his wandering eye and his unnatural desires. She spread her legs and planted her stiletto-heeled feet and swung her whip by her side and it rose in the air like a fish jumping from water coming to land on his back with a loud crack.
Miles flinched, but felt himself getting excited. This was only foreplay and he knew before long she would have made him indulge every whim she had. He hoped she would allow him a moment or two of dominance. He so enjoyed hearing her shout out his name.
The lashes were coming faster now, the cracking sounds building to a crescendo. He wondered if she would cum from seeing him like this. He thought it possible as her lashes were starting to become more erratic and accompanied by extremely short little panting breaths.
She fell forward upon him still clutching her whip in her hand. Her chest pressed into his back and the scarlet liquid oozing from his lashes seeping into her blouse.
"Am I going to have to allow you to be with a man?" She said sounding exasperated, but no longer angry.
"Perhaps, but I love only you." He said pulling her arms around his chest in a spooning hug.
Franzsika did not like to think of him with anyone else. He belonged to her and should bring pleasure only to her, but if he was unhappy…if there were things she could not provide for him…what was she to do?
She rolled onto her back and seeing his bleeding back she felt great shame for having hurt him. Perhaps, this was why he looked elsewhere. He sensed the focus of her keen eyes and he turned himself towards her so she would not have to view his lash-marks.
She started to tremble a little and tossed her whip to her side. "Oh, Miles, I'm sor-"
But he would never let her tell him that. After all, this was his fault; it was his unnatural perversion that led them to this unhappiness. His desire to have one like himself…
"It's my fault. I'm sick."
Franziska's nostrils flared and she slapped him across the face.
"Miles, you listen to me. There is nothing wrong with you and if you need a man I'll find you a man."
"But Franziska I want only you." Their lips met and her fingers tangled themselves together in his hair. There was nothing wrong with her brother. He had never been dishonest. He didn't find women appealing but he loved her so he was with her. She wished there was some way she could make herself his ideal, if only for one night. There was nothing wrong with his desire other than that she wasn't able to fulfill it.
Her lips parted from his for a brief moment and he felt moisture roll into his mouth. She was crying. He felt his heart breaking. This was his fault for not being able to shut off his desires. He had a lover why could he not be satisfied?
"Perhaps we shouldn't be together." She said.
He felt as if his chest had just been chopped in half. "NO!! Franziska, I love you. I am sorry that I am not doing enough to make you happy."
"Miles, it's my fault. You've been nothing but honest and every bit of evidence existed that said I was trying to turn an apple into an orange."
Miles grabbed her tighter. "No, you don't understand! I desire you. You haven't made me do anything I didn't want. I just have fantasies. I wish I could make them go away…"
He continued more quickly the words flowing like a waterfall. "Whip me everyday. Do whatever you have to. I deserve it for being so selfish but please don't give up on me."
Franziska's eyes met his and she thought of how he did anything she wanted. He would do anything to make her happy she was sure of it. So he must really love her. She sighed and climbed on top of him lust driving her to claim every inch of him.
~xxxx~
A few weeks later Franziska hosted a cocktail party at the house. It was unusual for a social event to be held at the von Karma mansion, but Miles believed that Franziska was trying to distract herself from the issues they seemed to be facing.
Edgeworth would have preferred to spend the evening alone in his room but Franziska had made it clear that he was required to do more than simply put in an appearance at the event. So that evening Miles dressed smartly in silvery grey slacks and a maroon shirt and before leaving his room downed a couple shots of very high class scotch. He hated social occasions, but for Franziska he would do anything even make small talk with her "friends" many of whom he had never met or heard of before in his life.
~xxxx~
The party was in full swing with the majority of the guests encircling a dark haired man of about Franziska's age named Nate. Nate was handsome with a kind of artistic charm and he looked completely comfortable as the center of attention sitting on a stool in the corner playing his guitar. At the request of some old friends he was currently singing a silly song about a goat that went on walk-about in a shopping mall. Each verse seemed to poke fun at another aspect of consumerism or conservatism and Miles found it oddly witty though he continued to hang back from the others. He really didn't like crowds and even in a space as large as the von Karma drawing room he could still feel the anxiety he felt whenever around people he did not know well.
Franziska sauntered over to the corner in which he stood nursing his drink. "So, what do you think of my college friends?"
"I think it's odd you refer to them as college friends when we both know very well that you were already a prosecutor by the age of thirteen."
Franziska sighed. Miles was always so damned detail oriented. "Fine, what do you think of my friends I associated with while in graduate school obtaining my fourth masters? Is that what you would prefer me to say? It's kind of a mouth-full and personally, I find it rather pretentious."
Miles laughed. If Franziska found it pretentious than it surely must be.
"So, tell me my dear little brother why you are cowering over here in the corner?"
"I am not cowering," Miles said. "I am merely enjoying the festivities from afar."
She smirked at him. He was such a terrible liar.
"I never would have thought it, but you can be a lovely host," he said wrapping his arm around her and bringing his lips to her neck playfully.
"So what do you think of them?"
Miles shrugged. He wasn't a people person, but there was one of them he did like…his eyes came to rest on Nate. He was…cute? Miles wasn't sure, but there was something about him. He pondered it as he sipped at his wine his arm still firmly planted on Franziska's waist.
"Enjoying the view?" Franziska lifted an eyebrow and Miles' eyes met hers.
"Am I supposed to know to what specifically you are referring?"
"You like him don't you?"
"Who?" Miles said trying to act innocent. He knew perfectly well whom she meant. Nate had turned into something of the guest of honor. All eyes in the place were on him and his toned upper body that was gently being hugged by a dark t-shirt.
"Miles, its alright you can tell me." She said gently coaxing him to admit his feelings.
Miles nodded slowly, afraid to admit his attraction.
"Good." Franziska smiled. Her matchmaking was proving to be working well. She leaned into her brother's neck and whispered, "He's staying in the second guest room on the third floor. He's expecting you to join him this evening."
Miles started so violently he almost bashed his head into Franziska's. He had merely commented that the man was attractive not said that he wanted to screw him! He shook his head his eyes wide with terror, but Franziska merely kissed his neck.
"You are able to fulfill ever fantasy I have, dear brother, but I am not able to fulfill all of yours so I have made arrangements for you." She had the smirk upon her face of one who had it all figured out. She was perfectly in charge.
"But!" Miles was terrified and now completely unable to look anywhere remotely in Nate's direction.
"Brother, I would be angry if you lied to me, but you have been honest and I am honest with you. He is a very wonderful man and not bad looking. He and I dated for a while. I think you'll like him. Go get to know him. Have a few drinks. It's alright." And then with very clear innuendo she said. "Have some fun."
It was than that Miles realized that Franziska must have orchestrated this elaborate get-together as nothing more than an excuse for Nate to come visit. She must have figured Nate would understand Miles confusion because he had been there himself.
Miles felt torn. He wanted so badly to be only with his love, but sexually he desired more, different things. It disappointed him that he was not strong enough to ignore his urges. He turned his eyes back to the young man singing and laughing and then when the song ended Nate gazed at Miles from across the room and even Miles could recognize it as a look of seduction.
~xxxx~
Very early in the morning Franziska felt Miles join her in bed. He put his head on the pillow next to her and found it wet with tears.
"Have you been crying?"
Franziska refused to answer.
"How was it?" She said, her voice shaky. She feared he might say that he had realized he could no longer be with her. That she was just a substitute for what he really desired. That he loved her very much, but not enough to overcome what he most desired.
"Not like what I expected." He said.
"Oh?" She wondered if she had done a bad job of picking someone for him. She had been so sure Nate had some of that goofball charm that Phoenix had and Franziska knew personally that Nate wasn't bad in the sack. Of course he hadn't made her cum, but only Miles could do that. Franziska always found that to be odd. Why should a man who claimed to have no attraction to women be the only person who could fulfill her? Was it that he followed her directions so precisely or was it that he sensed things she didn't voice?
"Franziska, this was very sweet of you. He's very adorable, but…"
Her eyes flashed with anger. "But?!"
"I couldn't do it. I don't love him."
"What?!" She sat up in the bed. What did love have to do with this?
"Maybe it would have been different if you had been there, but I kept thinking about you…in here all alone."
"Then you're not gay." She snapped.
He shrugged. "Maybe I'm not. What do labels matter, anyway? Did it ever occur to you that maybe I had never been with anyone before you because maybe I can only have sex if it's with someone I love? I mean I'm sure someone would have been willing to sleep with me…" Miles sounded unsure, but Franziska had no doubt.
Miles could have gotten laid anytime he'd clued into the world around him. Franziska had been aware of his many admirers for years. She saw them flaunt themselves in front him and undress him with their eyes, but, of course, he never noticed or he chose to ignore them. Franziska had never been sure which it was that caused him to continue his seemingly sexual lifestyle. But she had witnessed the many volunteers, both men and women, just dying to go to bed with her brother and deflower him. It was disgusting. And it wasn't just crazy people like that Oldbag woman or their former maid that full-bosomed young woman, Catriona O'Finnegan.
"But you like him, right?" Maybe if she pointed that out it would ease her brother's mind.
"Yes, he's very nice and very attractive."
"And he's pretty decent in bed. I had sex with him before he came out."
Miles smiled. Of course, she would have picked someone she had personally tried out. She wouldn't trust just anyone. She would want him with someone she knew to be imperfect enough to not be good enough for her, but good enough for her imperfect brother.
"Well, you must not have been together for very long. He doesn't have scars." His eyes narrowed as he imagined her with her whip standing over him as she so often did injuring him before bringing him pleasure.
"So, you did-"
"Yes, sister," Miles said sighing as though already tired of the topic. "We got undressed. We were close-"
"Miles Edgeworth, get back in there and have sex with that man!" She stood up grabbing her whip.
He shook his head. "No, only if you came with me. I'm not leaving you alone."
"Don't feel sorry for me! You told me you liked men. I've always known you liked men. So I've gotten you a man. I flew him in all the way from Zheng Fa!"
Miles laughed at her irritation with him. Her persistence in this ridiculous pursuit was so endearing.
"My dear Franziska, you of all people should know that the punishment for sex trafficking can be some lengthy jail time."
Her nose twitched angrily. She looked like she might snarl and spit at him like a cornered feral cat, but he stood his ground. "I did try, darling, I promise. But I have never fancied myself having sex with someone I didn't love no matter how attractive or nice they might be."
It crossed Miles mind that Nate was a very nice person. Probably nicer than he or Franziska were and he certainly wasn't as tense. Perhaps, Miles thought, that was why he and his sister were so good together. They shared some of the same antisocial behaviors; though Miles had to admit to himself he had never felt the urge to whip random people even when he was extremely annoyed with them.
"Dear, it would just be sex" he said the word with a large amount of distaste for one who participated in the activity quite often. "And I can't do that while I know you're here alone. If you were with me or had someone you wished to spend the evening with while I was away I could perhaps oblige, but really, darling, this can't be what you want."
He raised his eyebrows at her pressuring her with that stare he used to break down witnesses on the stand. The patented my-years-of-highly-specialized-education-make-me-able-to-see –through –you glare but she just pressed her lips together so tightly they turned white. He should have known that a von Karma would be immune to it.
Miles sighed. What was he going to do? He was quite confident he had never seen Franziska this angry, at least not with him. It was rather terrifying, but it didn't make him want to change his mind. She was doing this for him and she didn't need to. He was very happy with things just as they were.
"I'm sorry things aren't going according to your plan, but your self-sacrifice only makes me want you more, my dearest sister."
Franziska was livid. How could he do this to her? She couldn't fulfill his desires so she had found someone who could and he refuses to participate? How dare he!
"Miles Edgeworth, don't you try to sweet talk me with that old-world charm of yours when inside you are just an uncouth American who knows nothing of how to submit to a lady's wishes." Franziska was so angry that the irony in her words was entirely lost on her and Miles simply sighed. He had really hoped she would understand, but he should have known better. When Franziska had a vision of what was going to happen even a scenario she disliked she found it less than perfect to have it change without her permission. By insisting on only being with her he had taken away some of her power and she didn't like it.
He made one final attempt to soften her hatred by gently bringing her hand toward his lips with the intention of giving her a gentle kiss, but before he could she yanked her hand back as if he had been a serpent put in her bed to poison her.
"Get out!! Now!" Franziska rose from the bed and snapped her whip at him lashing his chest.
"As you wish."
He was deeply saddened by this. He had wanted so badly to let her know how much her thoughtfulness had meant to him. How attempting to work through her jealousy was a thing they could celebrate together, but instead he was getting thrown out. There would be no special ring tone from his cell phone tonight. He sighed. Loving Franziska would be easier if it didn't mean living with Franziska. He wondered how different she would be if her Papa had treated her more kindly and he silently cursed his mentor for raising them to be so demented.
~xxxx~
As soon as Miles had shut the door Franziska threw herself down on the bed sobbing out of frustration and confusion. She knew she loved him and desired him to be only with her, but love was surely only an illusion just as her Papa had told her. There would be no more talk about the unnatural condition of love in her house. Sex was just sex. Feelings didn't matter.
~xxxx~
Miles knew he couldn't win. No matter what he did Franziska would be mad. If he had sex with Nate he and Franziska would have to face the fact that they weren't truly monogamous, but if he refused Franziska would feel like she was denying him something he wanted that she didn't have the right to deny him. He found it ironic that such a domineering person would so deeply fear that she was preventing him from having some kind of joy he deserved. It told Miles that she did care for him and that what they shared together was much more than sex for her as well and it made him decide that even if Nate were the best lay on the planet that Miles wouldn't be with him or anyone else not without Franziska.
The next morning Franziska stepped out of her room and found Miles asleep in the hallway. He was slumped over against the wall across from her door still dressed in what he had been wearing the day before. She turned back around, grabbed her whip and headed back into the hallway. She woke him with a slash.
"I thought I told you to leave," she scolded. Miles could find no love in her eyes only the blind hatred of a queen who had not had her orders followed.
He lifted his arms in a subtle shrug. "I did. I simply chose to stay close."
"Hmph!" She stomped down the hallway a few feet and then spun herself around her whip held tight against her. She was baring her teeth like a rabid dog, but a beautiful one, Miles thought.
"Don't you think that by laying outside my door like a lost puppy that I will forgive you for this. I'm not what you want. I'm not what you desire. I'm just a substitute and it's not fair." She started quaking and at first Miles thought it was all from anger but then he saw tears start pouring our of her eyes. "Miles Edgeworth, you made your choice and I've made mine. It's over."
Miles eyes widened and he leapt up after her. "Franziska!" He hadn't foreseen this. How could she possibly think they could be apart?
"Franziska." He said it again. This time slower, as if his tongue were making love to each syllable. "Franziska, please, darling, don't do this. For me it's like how some men might prefer a brunette but falls for a blonde or desires a pixie like creature and end up with a Rubenesque beauty. It's just a preference. It doesn't mean I have to have it. It's like a fetish." He was trying desperately to make a case for why her belief was false, but just as in the courtroom she was determined to have her way.
"I think being a homosexual is a little more than a fetish!" She spit out the words.
"Franziska for heaven's sake would you quit worrying about labels and just let us enjoy what we have!! I don't label you. I love you just the way you are. I love how you trust me to see you as you really are. Franziska, I knew the thought of me with him was hurting you and I won't do that to you. I love you too much."
"There is to be no more talk of this insane condition called love under my roof! Go back to the U.S. and leave me you foolish fool."
"My sister, this is my house too and I refuse to leave. So find a way to split the house in half, because I'm staying. Besides, where you are is my home." He paused for a moment. "Franziska, I know you're in love with me and you're simply too proud to-"
Franziska's whip slashed across him nicking his lip and the blood gushed from it, but he would not move. He would not back down.
"Franziska, you can not go through this life alone. You need someone and so do I. Please, don't hate me because I admit the truth which is that I will worship you until the day I die."
She widened her stance defiantly, "MILES EDGEWORTH, do not try to sweet talk me. Your words have no effect on me. There is only one thing that matters and that my dear is evidence!" She cracked her whip dangerously close to his face again and he felt his arousal growing at an alarming rate. He loved her and she wouldn't believe it, not because she didn't love him, but because she refused to believe in the condition. It was her who had taught him that love was illogical and indefinable in yet here she was claiming it didn't exist.
He reached forward and embraced her. She dug her nails into his back trying to get him to release her, but as she did so her thighs brushed against his tense organ and he knew what he needed to do…what he had to do. If it was evidence she wanted it was evidence she would have. He had always considered himself a gentleman, but he felt crazed at the thought that she would no longer make her requests for his nighttime companionship, that she would no longer order him to lap at her most personal regions, that they would no longer share those private special moments together. The withdrawal of these from his life was more than he felt he could handle.
He gripped her wrist and pushed her against the wall grabbing for her other wrist. She moved forward to bite him, but he threw his head and neck back just in time so her teeth merely grazed his skin.
"If you claim all we have is sex, than that is all you shall have. All evidence of my love for you will be gone." And with that he pinned her against the wall as he pulled up the bottom of her nightgown and gruffly jerked her panties to the side and jabbed his fingers into her.
"Do you really claim that you could think about me doing this with someone else and not be jealous? You who freaks out when I get a postcard from Kay? You who has forbidden the new maid from even entering my bedroom? You think I don't know? You think that I will just give in to my urges and hurt you, the most precious thing I possess?"
Franziska was thrashing against his tight hold. She had never realized how strong he was. He was such a gentle creature most of the time; so submissive she never would have guessed he could have held her like this.
His finger curled to touch one of her most sensitive area and he rubbed at it without mercy making her writhe so wildly that she hit the back of her head against the wall.
"Do you really claim that I could come back to you after plunging into someone else and that you would be ok with that? Or is this all some kind of ploy to find a reason to make me beg for your forgiveness? Because I think you've missed something important, dear sister. I possess you."
As he spoke he lifted her hands above her head and somehow managed to grab both wrists with one hand while undoing his belt and pants with his other. Franziska's eyes got wide. She's never seen her brother like this.
"Miles, I just want you to be happy." She said meekly.
"Well, good." He said grinning at her. "I will be very soon." And with that he drove his erect cock deep into her so forcefully that she hit the wall. He felt her hands fighting against his to get free and so he raised his other hand using both of them to restrain her wrists as he forced her thighs open even more with his leg and started to feel the moisture seeping out of her.
"Is this really what you want Franziska only sex? Only penetration, no tenderness or love ever in your life? It's fun once in a while but surely you would like to be kissed and snuggled and loved. You don't actually think this is all we have do you?" He leaned his face close to hers so she could feel the warmth of his breath. "Surely, you can allow me to love you even if you refuse to admit how much you only want to be with me."
Franziska was wildly thrashing, feeling as though she had been staked to the wall by a huge spike between her legs. She flailed her feet but it only seemed to make him more determined to push ever millimeter of his length into her.
He started pounding at her and slid her hands still higher above her head stretching her as much as her petite frame could and she felt her legs lifting from the floor as she was suspended against the wall by only his thrusts and his hands.
"Miles…Miles…what do you want from me?" She panted.
"I want you to admit that you're in love with me and don't really want me to be with Nate."
She panted and howled but he continued to thrust into her until with a deep groan his head fell back and she knew he had climaxed. He slowly lowered her hands as he more gently rocked himself in and out of her. Together they slid down the wall and sat in a heap their bodies still connected.
Tears flowed from Franziska's eyes and Miles wiped them away.
"Alright, you fool. I do love you. The thought of you with anyone else drives me insane with rage. I was just trying to make you happy." She said with a pouty look on her face that made Miles want to laugh, but he restrained himself instead he gently kissed her neck. "I know. Don't send me away. Let me continue to love you and if it isn't enough for one of us let us together do something about it. I don't want to ever be without you."
Franziska was unsure. Her big blue eyes looked sad and Miles smiled as he held her.
Laying his head on her shoulder he said, "Franziska, don't ever feel sorry for me. I have you and that, sister, is a truly wonderful thing."
~xxxx~
The next day, Franziska drove Nate to the airport. She could have had one of the servants do it, but she had gotten to spend no time alone with her old friend and so she figured it was the least she could do.
They chatted about various things until the silence in the car became uncomfortably prolonged and Franziska found herself wishing she hadn't volunteered to be his chauffeur. It was Nate who finally broke the silence knowing that there was something that needed to be discussed that neither one of them was bringing up.
"I thought you should know that your dear brother turned me down." He said.
"Yes, I know. He told me. I don't pretend to understand what that means."
"It means he only wants to be with a person he loves." There was that damn word again, Franziska thought to herself. "And that person is you."
Franziska blushed. She hadn't told Nate that she and Miles were together. She had simply referred to him as her brother. Was she that obvious?
"I'm sorry about this," she said becoming a little flustered. What an embarrassing, imperfect mess everything was in. It made her want to go home and whip all the servants for being so stupid as to help her throw a social gathering. They should have known better than to think any good would come of a party at the von Karma estate.
"I'm not. I'm happy for you. I've had many lovers, but never one willing to only have me. What you have is more precious than you realize."
"But-"
"But, he thinks men are hot? I wouldn't let it bother you. You carry a whip around. Don't call the kettle black, Ice Princess."
What an insolent person he was! Franziska wished she hadn't been driving because then she would have been free to whip him a good one. He obviously needed to feel the bite of her leather.
"Franny, he is crazy about you- love slave crazy. I mean it. You better be enjoying it. I'm wildly jealous."
Franziska groaned. Wonderful. Miles was so completely devoted to her that she would never be able to fulfill him. Why, oh why, couldn't she have been a man? It would have made Papa so happy.
As Nate stepped out of the car at the train station he leaned into the window to give Franziska a pat on the arm and he said, "Just remember, don't look a gift horse in the mouth" and smirking at her continued, "and I'm not just saying that cause he's hung like a horse, Ice Princess."
Her head tremored slightly as she turned crimson. Her old pal now knew almost as much about her relationship with Miles as she did and she found it very embarrassing, not to mention that he was calling her by that dreaded nickname again. No wonder she had sent him packing so fast after they'd done it all those years ago.
"Keep in touch. I want to know how you and your slave are doing."
"Shut. It!!"
Nate smiled broadly. He could never have handled being around Franziska for long periods of time, but he found her a hoot in small doses. Though he did fear that if she didn't relax a little she'd be dead by the time she was forty. He sighed. Hopefully Miles would loosen her up some, but then he laughed there was no way that was going to happen! That boy was almost as bad as her!
Driving back to the mansion Franziska turned from the main thoroughfare to enjoy the country roads. What was she going to do about Miles? Why was this devotion he had to her troubling her? It was exactly what she had wanted. She had companionship. She no longer felt alone and he never allowed her to be sexually frustrated. It didn't matter what time, day or night, he would come to her and find a way to please her, often several times over. She felt a tad embarrassed when she thought of his commitment to making her feel good…cared about…happy….loved.
Damn that word.
~xxxx~
Franziska lay in her bed flopping this way and that feeling as though her bed had suddenly become greatly uncomfortable. She fluffed the pillows, but she knew it wouldn't help. Otherwise, it would have helped one of the other times she had tried it. Her mind was racing. She kept picturing Miles fighting to get her to say she loved him.
There were reasons she was the way she was but she wasn't prepared to share the truth with anyone right now, not even her brother. If she told him today he would pity her and treat her differently. She would tell him about all that nasty business another day.
She thought about Miles and found herself tiptoeing to her bedroom door and opening it a smidge so she could peer out to see if he had again parked himself in her hallway, but she found herself disappointed. He wasn't there.
Damn it. Damn it. Damn it!
She didn't know what she wanted, but she was sure it was not this. She felt lonelier than she had before her and Miles…became whatever it was she and Miles were. Lovers? She supposed that was the truest way to describe their relationship, but really how can you be lovers when you don't trust that love even exists?
Franziska grabbed her whip and paced back and forth in her room stretching the leather and feeling it slide between her fingers. The leather was cool against her hot fingers and it felt soothing. She did it over and over again in time with her walking as she tried to focus on her thoughts. She felt all a jumble and she didn't like it. Perfect people were organized and knew how they were feeling at all times. They had a plan for every contingency and they didn't break a sweat. Perfect people were like Miles. She couldn't get him and his perfection out of her head. He was so self-assured. So strong. He knew what he wanted. Why didn't she?
She quit her pacing and sat on the edge of the bed her dissatisfaction with life making her like a lump and not like the pert being she normally was. She was still confused, but she was sure about one thing. She wanted Miles. She wanted to be with him all the time, when she wasn't working of course, and she wanted to feel the sense of security she got when his arms were around her and she wanted to not only have him fuck her brains out every chance they got, but she wanted that other thing to. That gentle stuff was nice, too. It was what she had wanted all those years ago when she'd ended up being raped.
She shook her head. Why had she been thinking so much about that incident lately? Was it because she'd desired Miles even then or was it because she was mad he hadn't been here to save her? Or was it because he didn't know and, therefore, at some point she would have to tell him? She cried. She wanted to tell him so badly. She wanted to tell him that yes she was bossy and short-tempered and obsessive, but that she hadn't always been quite this bad. At one time she had been more trusting, more loving. She wished he could understand yet somewhere in her psyche she could hear his charming voice saying, "Darling, I was there, remember. I know who you really are."
She sighed. Even if she successfully kicked Miles out of the house she'd never be without him. He was in her fucking head. All the time. His advice about cases, his opinion on fine wines and fast cars, his seductive whispers. Damn. She wanted him. She wanted him bad and she probably owed him an apology and von Karmas didn't apologize because they never did anything wrong because they were supposed to be perfect. Damn, damn, damn.
She reached for the phone, but then realized she didn't want to call him so she threw on her silk robe and padded barefoot through the mansion to Edgeworth's wing of the house. She reached his door and stood there giving herself a moment to change her mind before knocking, but she proceeded.
"Yes?" She heard his voice. He sounded tired, but awake.
"May I please come in?"
"Franziska?"
"Yes, you fool. Who the hell else would it be?"
"Well, you never know around here," he said opening the door.
Franziska entered, but stood nervously in his doorway fumbling with her whip that she was holding in both of her hands like a child clutching their satchel on the first day of school.
"I've come to ask you something." She spoke to her feet never raising her head.
"Oh?"
Miles wanted to motion her to an overstuffed chair sitting on an oriental rug by his fireplace, but she continued to stand nervously not giving him the opportunity to invite her to take a seat.
She looked up and her sad eyes met his. "Miles, you really do love me don't you?" She said it as though it was a great surprise as though there was nothing about her worthy of anyone's affection.
He nodded slowly unsure of what was going through that complex brain of hers. He slowly approached her and wrapped one arm around her loosely as he kissed her lips gently. "I do. Are you going to tell me something is wrong with that?"
Franziska looked like she might but instead she just stood there. She closed her eyes and felt what it was like to have him near her. She found it to be wonderfully intoxicating and it made her want him to get even closer. She breathed more deeply and tried to relax as she kissed him and she felt his hand slide down her arm and gently remove her whip from her grasp. She didn't see where he placed it when he set it aside and she didn't care. She wouldn't need it because as she took his hand in hers she knew that tonight they would be making love.