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Chapter 14

It'll Be Okay

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Jason~

"I told Sonny and Carly we were in love." I say these words the moment she comes in the door, even before a hello.

She stops and stares at me; she looks at me as if I speak a different language or have suddenly sprouted a second head.

"It's the only way" My voice is kind of empty, my eyes kind of blank, I can't get Sonny's silence out of my head. I can't forget trying to convince him Brenda was dead four years ago. I can't forget watching him cry, watching him throw things or watching him stare into her picture for hours without speaking. I can't believe I just hurt him like that even though it's for the best.

She cuts me off "We tried that before didn't we? It didn't work." I definitely know Brenda know, I thought I knew at the house, but I know for sure I know her now. I can hear it in her voice, all of the words she isn't saying. She doesn't want him to believe that we love each other, she wants him to always know he is number one in her heart, he is the one she wanted to grow old with and it is only because she doesn't get to grow old that she isn't chasing after him.

"They think that all the time we've spent together caused us to fall in love, Carly thought we were sleeping together, she told Sonny and when I looked at him, I saw that he believed it. After all who doesn't fall in love with you?" I laugh, hiding the truth.

"Is he okay?" She says sitting down on the couch. I start hearing more things in her voice, she's remembering that this is what we need to do; she wants him happy, this is the way as painful as it is right now; it's the only way.

"He will be, he needs to believe this Brenda. The one thing he needs more than anything is for you to be happy." I say sitting down with her

She nods

"You okay with this?" I say reaching out to touch her shoulder

She nods again "I think Jax thought the same thing, he had this weird look in his eyes but he didn't say anything when I told him. So is this what we do? Is this how we make them happy? We really let everyone believe we're in love?" She pauses for a moment and thinks about it, "I guess we have to stop fighting and what not in public."

"We've already stopped doing that."

She stops to think about it and I can see the awareness in her eyes as she thinks about it "We look like a couple now, don't we?"

I nod

"Wow, I would have never thought that was possible."

"We're friends how far off is that from what makes a marriage?" I lean back into the couch spreading my arms over the back

"Good point" she says sinking back into the couch and slightly against my body.

"It's going to be okay Bren" I say dropping on arm to wrap around her and pull her closer, trying to reassure her.

A few seconds later there is a quick knock followed by the door opening, we both turn our heads, but we remain in our close position. "Jason" his voice stops as he saw us, he regains his composure quickly "Sorry, but there's an emergency down at the docks."

I nod and stand, then lean over and kiss Brenda on the lips softly "I'll be back as soon as I can" I whisper as I lift my head away. I realized as I turn my head to the door, my show was for naught, Sonny has already gone.

Brenda realizes that too "He's hurt" she whispers because of the open door.

"He'll be okay" I say before I head out the door.