Updating a day early because the snow is coming and I fear I may lose my internet connection.

Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight.


Chapter 5: Love Will Tear Us Apart

October soon arrived, ushering with it a slight drop in the temperature. The air in the city wasn't the only thing that was cooling down.

Bella's relationship with James had hit another rough patch. After her birthday, things had gone well for a few weeks, but now she was left to wonder what she'd done wrong. She was growing more downhearted with each passing day, yearning for some assurance that things were going to turn out okay.

It was almost as if James had two personalities, going from loving and caring one moment, to angry and irritable the next. Several times he had snapped at Bella for no apparent reason—once because she couldn't decide upon a movie rental, another because she simply needed an evening alone to catch up on homework. She vividly remembered that particular incident.

Bella had been overwhelmed with homework, trying to keep her GPA intact. She'd also been spending a lot of time filling out her final college applications and looking for another job, the ice cream shop having closed down for the season. Trying to work James into her hectic schedule was nearly impossible. The few times she'd put her homework on hold in order to see him, she'd fallen behind on her reading for English and now she had to scramble to finish up a report for her Physics class.

After school, she'd sent James a quick text, letting him know that she needed time alone for the evening. When she'd arrived at her apartment, however, he was sitting in his truck waiting for her.

"James, didn't you get my text?"

"Yes, but I needed to see you. I know you said you had stuff to do, but I won't bother you, I promise. You'll hardly even know I'm there."

While she should have stood her ground and asked him to leave, Bella relented—just like always. Once they got inside the apartment, James settled on the couch to watch tv and Bella started working on her report, silently cursing her decrepit computer. She'd barely had time to get the machine booted up and connected to the internet before James was hovering over her.

He stood there for several moments, simply standing behind her and watching her movements. Then he was rubbing her shoulders. Bella should have protested, but her neck was stiff from a long day at school. The movements of his hands soothed and relaxed her aching muscles; Bella found herself closing her eyes and leaning into his touch.

In a matter of moments, his innocent touches became something entirely different. Before Bella could even register what was going on, his hands were cupping her breasts over her t-shirt and he was kissing her neck.

"I want you, Bella," he whispered in her ear.

Bella let out a sigh before putting her hands around James' wrists and pushing his hands away from her chest.

"James, I told you I had a lot of work to do and you promised you'd be good."

He continued to nip and suck on her neck, his hands moving to lightly grip her hips. It was almost as if he hadn't heard a word she had said. "Baby, please. I need you," he answered in a rough voice, giving her hips a gentle squeeze.

"James, even if I wanted to, I can't. I've got so much work to do and I can't concentrate like this. Maybe you should go home."

"Even if you wanted to?" he sneered at her as he jerked away. "What the fuck is wrong with you, Bella? I thought you loved me. Don't you want to be with me anymore?"

Guilt consumed Bella. She'd known the words weren't true the first time she had spoken them, but she couldn't take it back. If he knew that she'd lied to him, he'd leave her and she'd be all alone. She needed to rectify the situation.

"I'm sorry James," she said as she rose from her chair. "Things are just a bit crazy right now. I wasn't thinking. I didn't mean it like that. You know I…care about you." She wanted to reassure him, to tell him that she loved him, but her conscience screamed at her, and the words just wouldn't come. Bella knew it was wrong to continue to lie to him this way, yet she couldn't find the strength to turn back from the path she'd already chosen.

She walked over to him and placed her hand on his cheek. His posture instantly relaxed and he uncrossed him arms, allowing them to hang loosely at his sides. James could see the glassiness in her eyes, a sign that she was on the verge of tears. He mistook this as a show of remorse; in actuality, the tears were the product of a fragile young girl that was terrified of being alone.

Bella stood on her toes and kissed him, putting everything she had into that kiss and hoping it was convincing enough. When she felt his hands move around her backside, she knew things would be okay.

"Let's go to my room," she whispered in his ear, taking his hand and leading him down the hall.

~ O ~

Sex was the only way that Bella knew how to prove to James that she loved him. They'd been together several times since that first night, each night was much the same, but without the initial pain. The first time she had thought maybe she was just too nervous to enjoy it, but that wasn't the case. She'd heard other girls talking about tingling and fireworks, but she felt none of that.

Bella started to wonder if maybe there was something intrinsically wrong with her. Rather than dwell on it, she pushed her worries and insecurities to the back of her mind. Bella learned to pretend, wanting James to believe that he was pleasing her. Her insecurities didn't matter as long as James was happy.

She still cried sometimes after James was gone. Most of the time she simply felt numb, as if this was all happening to someone else and she was merely a spectator. Other instances left her hollow and aching. If she were stronger, she would have never allowed their relationship to reach this level. But Bella was weak, consumed by fear and loneliness. She wanted James to love her, because it seemed as if no one else did.

~ O ~

On a typical Friday afternoon, Bella sat in her AP Spanish class, diligently working to complete her exam. Foreign language was definitely not one of her strengths, but she needed the credits to be accepted into a top tier school. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed that the girl sitting across from her kept staring her way. Bella turned to look at the girl, wondering why she was staring instead of working on her test.

"Miss Swan, please collect your things and bring your exam to the front of the room," Mr. Mason said in a stern voice.

Unsure of what was going on, Bella hastily grabbed her backpack and test, shuffling towards the front of the room. By now, the rest of the class was no longer working, more interested in what was going on between Bella and her teacher. She felt a heated blush stain her cheeks, embarrassed to be the center of attention.

When she reached Mr. Mason's desk, he took her exam, handed her a folded note, and told her to head to the main office.

"But I wasn't finished," Bella protested.

"Now, Miss Swan. Please let the secretary know that I will be down as soon as the bell rings."

Bella simply nodded her head and left the room. She gave the note to the secretary when she entered the office and relayed the information Mr. Mason had given her. The secretary gave her a stern look and told her to be seated.

What transpired after Mr. Mason finally did make it to the office fifteen minutes later was slightly akin to a horror movie, at least from Bella's point of view. Once she was granted entrance into the principal's inner sanctum, she learned that Mr. Mason was accusing her of cheating on her exam. He stated that she would be given no credit for the exam and asked that the incident be filed within her permanent record.

Bella vehemently argued her innocence, fighting back tears as she pleaded for the principal to believe her. Though he seemed to have faith in Mr. Mason's word, he eventually conceded that Bella would simply be given a warning this time. There was nothing in her record to suggest that this was a repeated offense; she was the picture of a model student. Bella would be given no credit for the exam, but could make up some of the points by enrolling in an after-school tutoring program.

The whole incident was strange and made Bella feel as if she was living in a parallel universe. She chalked the whole thing up to some sort of bizarre misunderstanding. It was the first time that she'd ever gotten in trouble at school, though she was thankful to avoid any severe punishment. If this had gone on her permanent record, her chances for Dartmouth would have been ruined.

~ O ~

What Bella didn't know was that the incident wasn't just a simple mistake. In fact, all of her recent misfortunes were the work of one person. Jane had started with simple things, like messing with Isabella's utility bills. It was amazing what a little bit of money could buy, especially when dealing with underpaid staffers at the local utility companies. The greedy bastard that was the manager at Isabella's decrepit apartment complex was more than happy to take a bribe. Even sanitation workers had a price.

Jane had been sure that James would put the pieces together, knowing that these incidents couldn't have been a mere mistake. After waiting several weeks for him to put the pieces together and confront her, Jane finally had a talk with him and confessed her misdeeds. She had hoped he could become incensed and his reaction didn't disappoint.

It was shocking for Jane to learn that, beyond the electricity and water, Isabella hadn't mentioned any of her recent problems to James. No wonder he hadn't confronted her; he didn't realize anything was going on. A maniacal cackle escaped Jane's mouth when James explained that Isabella thought her mother simply wasn't paying the bills.

James had railed on his mother, cursing and threatening her when she revealed what had been going on. His threats fell on deaf ears, however. He could yell and scream all he wanted, but Jane held the power in this little chess match. She promised him that she would continue to make Isabella's life a living nightmare, increasing the severity of her actions with each passing day. Jane shared some of her ideas with James, but assured him that it could all be avoided if he would simply end the relationship.

Jane warned him that there would be repercussions for him as well, if he dallied too long. Though he had access to his trust fund, she was still in control of the money. With one phone call, she could revoke those privileges. It all came down to one choice. What was more important to James: money or Isabella? With a little push, Jane was sure he'd make the right decision.

~ O ~

Only a week after the cheating incident, Bella once again found herself in the principal's office. She sat stiffly in a visitor's chair, desperately trying to stop her knee from bouncing around. Instead, she bit her lip and wiggled her toes, hoping to chase away the knot of nerves in her stomach.

Finally, the principal entered the room, followed by the school guidance counselor. Both had grim looks on their faces, increasing Bella's agitation. She wondered if there had been an accident and something terrible had happened to Renee. Immediately, her mind conjured up images of Renee in an accident, her old Corolla mangled beyond recognition. Or Charlie lying in a pool of his own blood, seeping from a gunshot wound to his chest, the dark liquid staining his police officer's uniform.

"Is something wrong? Is my mom okay? Charlie?" Bella blurted out, her eyes moving frantically between the two adults.

"Calm down, Miss Swan," the principal answered. "While this meeting is of a serious nature, as far as we are aware, your family is fine."

Bella momentarily slumped in the chair, relief coursing through her veins. She had little time to collect herself, however, as the principal began speaking again.

"Do you know a girl in your English class named Tia?"

"Ummm…yeah, I guess. I mean, I know who she is, but I don't really know her," Bella replied, desperately trying to recall the girl's face in her mind.

"That's interesting, because she has leveled some pretty serious accusations against you. This school district has a policy against bullying and it is not something that we take lightly, Miss Swan."

"Bullying? What—I don't understand."

"Tia sought help in the guidance office earlier today, after your shared English class. She claims that you have been harassing her for weeks—calling her names, teasing and threatening her, even demanding that she give you money. And given that this is the second time you've been in this office recently, I'm inclined to believe her."

With that claim, Bella broke down. Sobs wracked her body as tears rolled down her cheeks. She was too upset to even try to control it. Almost immediately, she felt the guidance counselor, Ms. Molina, kneeling beside her. She rubbed soothing circles on Bella's back and assured her everything would be okay.

Bella heard the door shut and when she was able to pull herself together, she realized the principal had left them alone. Ms. Molina continued to treat Bella with care and concern. Overcome and desperately seeking comfort and affection, Bella found herself confessing everything that had been happening to her. Ms. Molina listened intently as Bella spoke of her mother's distance, missing her father, her relationship with James, and all the recent mistakes and misunderstandings that had plagued her.

Eventually, it was decided that there would only be a warning issued for the bullying allegations, especially since there were no witnesses to corroborate the other student's story. Ms. Molina also suggested that Bella make time to stop by her office at least once a week. The guidance counselor felt such empathy for Bella and desperately wanted to help her in any way she could.

Oddly enough, when Bella left the office that afternoon, she felt better than she had in weeks.

~ O ~

James paced back and forth in his room, entirely sure that he was wearing his route into the plush carpeting. He was so angry with his mother; he had always known she was a cold-hearted bitch, but this was a new level of evil. The worst part was that she got some sort of sick pleasure out of the whole thing.

Poor Bella. She was nothing but sweet and kind, definitely undeserving of the wrath of hell his mother was unleashing upon her. Even without her knowledge of what was transpiring, their relationship was growing more and more strained. James felt like a live wire sometimes, unable to keep his emotions in check. He'd snapped at Bella several times, yelling at her and making her cry. His stomach churned as he thought about her, the look in her eyes when he'd said those harsh things. It was hard to see her cry, but even more so when he knew he was the cause of her tears.

James wished Bella had told him about all the extra bills she had been forced to pay, but understood that embarrassment probably kept her from doing so. He'd have to sneak some money into her hidden sock. He knew if he offered the money, she wouldn't take it, and he knew that she would need it in the next fall.

The bills had been one thing, but now his mother was starting to do things that would affect Bella at school. The first couple of things had been pretty minor, but Jane had much uglier plans already in place. James knew he couldn't allow her to go that far. He couldn't let his mother do something that would keep Bella from going to the college of her choice.

More than the anger, James was truly hurt that his mother could be so callous. She only cared about power and position. She held no remorse for her actions, unconcerned with the repercussions her behavior could have for Bella. The most hurtful, however, was that she didn't seem to care about her own son's happiness.

No matter what anyone thought, James loved Bella. As much as he loved her, however, he had come to realize that this situation was more than he could handle. Loving someone meant protecting them and there was only one way he could achieve that. He would have to stop seeing her; that knowledge left him cold and empty.

He had been debating on how to go about this, knowing that he needed to be harsh and unfeeling. If she questioned him and he let his guard down for even a moment, he knew he wouldn't be able to go through with it.

It sickened James to think that he was essentially choosing money over love, but he knew his mother was ruthless. She didn't back down, and if he tried to maintain his relationship with Isabella for much longer, she would make sure he was left with nothing. Without his trust fund and his parent's support, he would no longer have a place to live or an automobile to drive. He wouldn't be able to attend college or provide for the family he hoped to have one day. That money was essential to his survival.

With his mind made up, he headed toward their home library. He needed to tell his mother to call off the dogs, or at least put them on stand-by. James needed just a little bit more time to prepare himself for what he was about to do—break Bella's heart.

~ O ~

Halloween was one of Bella's favorite holidays. It was an escape for her, a day when she could dress-up and pretend to be whoever she wanted. This year, that alternate persona was a cheerleader.

Bella had been excited to look for costumes, thinking about how fun it would be to go with James as a matching couple. She'd spent hours on the internet, looking at costumes and researching ideas on Halloween websites. She really wanted to do something elaborate.

James, as it turned out, wasn't as excited about playing dress-up. Bella offered several costume suggestions, but he shot them all down. Eventually he suggested that they just go as a jock and a cheerleader. He could wear his old football jersey and varsity jacket. Bella teased that he just wanted to see her in a short skirt, but even that didn't bring much of a smile to his face.

The Halloween party they were attending was actually being hosted by James at his parents' house. When he had first mentioned it, Bella had been fraught with worry, but he quickly explained his parents would be out of town. The party would just be his friends, none of the social climbers his parents enjoyed inviting to such events.

Bella laughed as she thought of appropriate costumes for James' parents. Mrs. Harris could definitely go as the Wicked Witch of the West. She already had that evil laugh down and her husband could be one of her flying monkeys. An evil vampire with beady red eyes also seemed appropriate for Mrs. Harris; she seemed to suck the life right out of everyone around her.

When the night of the party arrived, Bella slipped on her cheerleading uniform. She put her hair up into a high ponytail and wore just a bit of make-up. Sitting on the couch, waiting for James, she realized that he was fifteen minutes late. She grabbed her cell phone to call, but saw she had missed a text from him.

Won't be able to pick you up. –James

Frowning, Bella considered not even going to the party. He hadn't even bothered to call and his text didn't say anything about her coming on her own. Still, he was her boyfriend; surely he wanted her to come. Bella would agree that their relationship had been a bit rocky lately, but it wasn't anything serious, was it? Throwing caution to the wind, she called a cab to pick her up.

When Bella arrived at the Harris' home, the party was in full swing. A few people milled about inside, but the majority of the partygoers seemed to be outside near the pool area. Making her way outside, Bella headed in that direction, looking around for James.

As she neared the pool, Bella finally caught sight of James, and what she saw nearly made her heart stop. He wasn't dressed as the football player to compliment her cheerleader. Instead, he was wearing a silk smoking jacket and loafers, obviously imitating Hugh Hefner. If his attire didn't give him away, the buxom blonde bunny that was sitting on his lap definitely did.

Bella's hand flew to her mouth as she gasped out loud. She was shocked to see James staring right at her, his face blank of emotion, a dead look in his eyes. Tears pricked her eyes as she turned and ran as fast as she could.

Bella moved quickly through the house, navigating rooms and trying to dodge the drunken people lingering about. She could hear the curses of some partygoers as she pushed and shoved them out of her way. Finally emerging, she dashed across the front lawn to the sidewalk. It was then that she realized that her escape was ill-planned. The street was completely deserted.

She began frantically digging around in her purse, trying to locate her cell phone. Just as she had pulled it from her bag, she felt someone behind her. Turning, she saw James standing only a few feet from her. Bella decided to ignore him, turning her attention back to her phone. Before she could place her call to the cab company, however, he had moved closer to her, pulling the cell phone from her shaking hands.

The two just stood there for several moments, staring at one another, both too afraid to break the charged silence. Bella was trying to hold onto at least some of her dignity, willing back the tears that wanted so badly to fall. She knew that she should be angry, but in that moment, all she felt was hurt. How could James do such a thing to her? He was supposed to love her.

Bella was shocked by the soft, broken expression that appeared on James' face. It was almost as if he was feeling remorse, but before she had time to ponder it any longer, that expression was gone. In its place was a cold, blank mask. The beautiful blue eyes she'd found so much comfort in were now icy and devoid of emotion. They reminded Bella of Mrs. Harris' eyes, a thought that caused her to shudder. Noticing her trembling, James finally spoke.

"Bella, you shouldn't be here."

"You invited me here. Why? Why did you do this?"

"We're not from the same world, Bella. We don't belong together. I have to start thinking about what's best for me and my family. There are rules and expectations."

"You never cared about any of that stuff before. You said you loved me. If you didn't want me—"

"I don't want you, Bella." None of the things James had said were part of the speech he'd carefully constructed. This wasn't going the way he planned it. He wanted her to be angry, to scream and shout at him. Instead, she was breaking apart from the inside out.

A loud sob ripped from Bella's chest and she could no longer fight off the tears. Out of instinct, James reached forward to comfort her, but she jerked away from his touch. She was frantically shaking her head back and forth, muttering the word "no" over and over again.

The sight before him was almost enough to make James reconsider, but he knew the consequences of continuing their relationship would be far worse. Sure she was would be upset now, but Bella would get over him and find someone who was worthy of her love. Someone like him—someone who could so viciously break her heart—didn't deserve her.

"I'm sorry if I'm being a jerk, but it's better if we aren't together anymore." With those parting words, James turned and went inside his house. No longer interested in the party going on, he retreated to his room to try and mend his own broken heart. He hoped his mother was happy now. She was the only one.

~ O ~

Bella didn't know how long she stood there on the sidewalk, her arms protectively wrapped around her torso. Eventually she was able to pull herself together enough to call a cab. Not only had she been dumped tonight, but in the most humiliating manner possible. He didn't even have the decency to break up with her before he started seeing someone else.

While she knew she wasn't in love with James, she still felt like someone had punched a giant hole through her chest. He was the only person in her life that she could depend on and now he was gone. Loathing and self-doubt consumed Bella and she wondered how she would survive this. She'd always been so cautious, never opening herself up to the people around her. The first time she decided to try, this was how it ended. Was it really worth this much pain?

~ O ~

A/N: As always, huge thanks to my beta, lislar. She keeps me in check.

Reviewers get a teaser for chapter 6. I try to reply to each review and I apologize if I missed anyone last chapter. There was epic fail with notifications.

This week's fic recs:

Expectations and Other Moving Pieces by chrometurtle – Full of angst and heartfail, but I love it just the same.

Hints of Me by 22blue – Two words: Mr. Multiple.