A/N: Any wolves you recognize from The Twilight Saga belong to Stephanie Meyer.
Basically everything else, including past and present wolf pack members, imprints, wolf families, and additional characters in this story belong to the universe created by the amazing, brilliant, and wonderfully talented yay4shanghai!
Thank you everyone who reviewed, I love getting feedback and hearing what people think, hope you enjoy this! Updates are probably going to slow down a little bit more than they already have, I'm really sorry, but real life is getting extremely hectic for me. I really hope you keep reading though and I'll try to get things out as soon as possible. Thanks for understanding!
As always I recommend you read the other spin-offs by liljenrocks, ari11990, AsagariMelody, Guzhong, twihardcaligurl, intiMACYx33, and TwilightHeart21. They are fantastic and worth taking the time to read.
My beta, yay4shanghai, completely rocks! Thanks so much for everything, you truly are incredible and I appreciate your help so much!
Show and Tell
17 December 2041
My mind had been in overdrive since my conversation with Melody and I was anxious to be near Krista. I wanted to tell her immediately, before I lost my nerve, but I still couldn't come up with a good way to do it. She wasn't in heat anymore, I could tell when I sat under her window and I was infinitely grateful. I paced around her backyard while I brainstormed ideas.
It already felt like too much time had passed since I was last close enough to touch her when the large orange sun began its ascent and I ended up climbing through her window shortly after her father left for work, unable to wait another minute to get near her again. I sat on the dilapidated green, jungle-print chair in the corner by her window watching her sleep for another two hours, simply enjoying how peaceful she appeared before moving to gently kiss her delicate cheek.
She stirred when I did, reaching up to touch the spot, but her hand came in contact with my face first, the tips of her fingers rested against my chin. Rolling onto her back, she gazed sleepily up at me. Her eyelids slowly closing and opening a few times, her golden lashes fluttering over her cheekbones before a magnificent smile spread across her face and I couldn't help returning it.
'Morning,' I signed hoping she wouldn't mind the impromptu wake up call.
'How did you get in here?' She asked and giggled when I pointed towards the window. I could tell she didn't believe me since there weren't any trees or some kind of a trellis outside the window, but she found the idea funny anyways.
That would have been a good opening to tell her, start by explaining how I'd climbed through her window then go on from there, but she didn't believe me. I spent about two seconds stumbling over the few ideas I had rolling through my mind on the best way to convince her, but another, much more pressing thought occurred to me. Her mother and sister were both still here and either could walk in if they heard us and I doubted it'd go over well if I was found in her bedroom.
I held a finger to my lips and signed, 'mom,' to explain the need for quiet. She glanced at her alarm clock and saw the glowing digital numbers declaring that it was almost eight.
'She won't hear us… heavy sleeper,' she signed. Well that took care of one issue. I almost still used my entrance as an introduction to the looming explanation, but before I could, she added, 'I like waking up to you, much better than a alarm.'
I couldn't resist kissing her then. Every thought except the one insisting I claim her fled from my head and like a recovering addict being handed their drug of choice, I caved, swooping in to capture her sweet lips. I'd missed their touch and taste so much. She responded eagerly, towing me towards her and I went willingly, settling in beside her on the bed and huddling her close against my chest. When we broke apart some time later, I propped my head up on my elbow to gaze down at her flushed and beautiful face.
'I like that even more,' she signed staring up at me breathlessly, her chest moving rapidly against mine and I nodded in agreement. 'Is that why you came?' Another opening, I debated my response for a split second.
'No, I came to ask if you want to take Eli and Hazel to the zoo with me today. I take Eli every year,' I ended up signing, chickening out at the last instant. I was a coward. I told myself weakly that it was because I really had already promised Eli and I couldn't break my word to him, I'd already let him down way too many times lately.
If I confessed everything to Krista now and she freaked, there was no way I'd be able to handle spending the day in Seattle so far away from her. Even if she didn't freak, I owed her more than a rushed explanation and that was all I had time for this morning. It would be better to wait. Maybe tonight once we got back would be better. Yeah, that way I'd also have more time to figure out what I planned to say when I told her because so far I was still drawing a blank.
The argument was feeble and flimsy at best, but I'd jump on any excuse to put this conversation off for even a little bit longer if I could. I knew it was pointless to wait for the right time because really, when would there ever be an ideal time to tell the love of your life that you were a werewolf?
'Love to,' she replied, cutting into my morose musings and I smiled, happy with that particular outcome then went back to berating myself while I waited in her room while she got ready.
~x~*~x~
'Can Ava still come?' Eli asked running off to grab his Pa's cell phone off the coffee table and send a text message as soon as we arrived. Krista and I shared an amused grin because he didn't wait for me to agree, just assumed I would. 'Phil's bringing her here,' he signed a minute later when the phone vibrated again.
While waiting for Ava to get there, we tried to convince Hazel to come with us. I was a little disappointed when she refused and not even Eli could coax her into spending the day with us. I felt extremely guilty for not making more of an effort to get to know her in the five or so months since she became my cousin. My uncles deserved more from me and what's more, I wanted to know her. Family was important to me and it only took a few seconds of being around Hazel to recognize how special and amazing she was. I'd have to double my efforts to get to know her after this.
I also felt guilty because I'd wanted to use this as a way to give my uncles a day to themselves, I knew they needed one and I still owed Mark for giving us that notebook the other day. It had really come in handy when we were first getting started and somewhat managed to prevent us from floundering and possibly from eventually giving up altogether.
'I tried,' I signed to Mark when we were leaving, giving him a helpless shrug and glancing over at Hazel where she was cuddled up in Jordan's arms, the pair looked completely content and happy to stay as they were.
'Not hard enough,' he responded with a sigh and I saw Krista try to stifle a giggle from the corner of my eye.
The drive was relaxing. I held Krista's hand the entire way, absently stroking my thumb over the back of her small hand and could tell she sensed a welcome change in my mood. Not wanting to ruin that, I cast the subject of being a wolf from my mind and focused on making sure she had a good time instead. Her happiness was more important.
We got to Seattle a little after noon and found a hole-in-the-wall Thai place for lunch because it was cheaper than eating at the zoo, food was better too. We also stopped by the mall so Ava could pick up a Christmas gift for her sister. She ended up deciding on a gift certificate to a popular clothing store Chloe liked, but only rarely was able to shop at because it didn't have any closer locations.
We headed to the zoo afterwards for a very enjoyable afternoon. I kept an arm wrapped around Krista's shoulders, holding her close to keep her warm while we idly strolled down the worn paths watching Eli and Ava running around ahead of us. The coldest winter weather wouldn't set in for another couple weeks so many of the attractions were still out for viewing.
We spent extra time in the reptile house when the kids needed a break from the cold since that building was heated and because Eli had a fondness for the exotic snakes from Central and South America, particularly boa constrictors. There were also a number of indoor exhibits to see this time of year as well and we killed time viewing those while we waited for it to get dark outside.
Sunset was a little after four and most of the Christmas lights came on about that time so we walked back through the park to see the lights all lit up, including an elaborate Santa's Village that was still exciting to see despite us all being too old to truly enjoy. The main attraction was a dolphin, penguin and seal show that ended with an elaborate display of fireworks. We attended the early show, which started at six and by the end Ava was in raptures, wishing she had one of the little yellow-eyed penguins for herself, just as she had the year before, and each of the three years before that.
It was pretty late when we got back to La Push. We dropped Ava off first and I hesitated in my uncles' driveway after saying goodbye to Eli, unsure about asking her to stay with me again tonight. I wanted her to, but she hadn't the last two nights, so it was harder to suck it up and ask her. She nodded before I even asked, however, no invitation required. I had glanced at her and she'd already known I wanted her to stay over again. That knowledge made me grin and sigh in relief.
We were both exhausted when we arrived at my house after our day at the zoo and I had it worse because that was on top of several days with next to no sleep. That made it easy to put off telling her till morning, I wanted both of us to be coherent for the intended conversation and right now we weren't. I'd tell her in the morning though, no matter what. Yeah, tomorrow would be better.
~x~*~x~
18 December 2041
'I have been watching you,' I signed the second her eyes focused on me. Shit. The idea had been to dive right in, not give myself a change to back out, but admitting that I stalked her wasn't what I aimed to start with.
It was early, but not too early. She'd slept later than usual and I let her. I had only slept a couple hours myself before waking from a nightmare. It was the first I'd had since I imprinted and the content, which involved Krista though I couldn't remember the exact details, had been scary enough to make the thought of getting back to sleep again very unappealing.
Instead, I stayed up doing some much needed planning while I waited for her to wake up. I was sick with dread and every passing minute made it worse. That's why I slipped up. It was too late to take it back; I was stuck now, waiting in a feverish haze of hellish suspense to see how she'd respond.
'Have you been up long then?' She signed sweetly, misunderstanding my vague statement.
'No. Well yes, but I meant since this summer when I first saw you,' I signed like an idiot, clarifying what I'd intended by "watching her" instead of starting over completely. She looked surprised, but unafraid and I took it as a good and encouraging sign that she didn't run screaming from the room or back away in fearful distrust.
'Why—I mean, I'm not very interesting,' she signed carefully, seeming genuinely more curious to learn my motives than she was disturbed by the fact I had spent months following her around like some sort of creepy psychopath. Her words slammed into me, scattering my thoughts like getting reamed with a two by four leaving me with only the pressing need to convince her how wrong she was about herself.
'You are fascinating!' I replied animatedly, still truly astonished that she could ever fail to see what I did when I looked at her. She blushed immediately, smiling shyly, but a degree of uncertainty or perhaps disbelief lingered in her woodsy green orbs so I added, 'I can't get enough of you or stay away—not that I want to. I have to protect you, not just that, I want more of you, all of you—I mean I want to be near you always—'
Fuck! I screamed in my head, rolling onto my back and rubbing my face in total frustration. It would not be possible to screw this up anymore if I were actively trying to because my nonsensical ramblings were doing a swell job all on their own. Maybe I just wasn't cut out for this. I had never shared so much of myself with another person and I didn't really know how to. If I kept up like this, pretty soon she was going to get fed up and bow out realizing I wasn't worth the effort.
I felt her small cool hands urging mine away from my face and I let her. Of course I did, I'd do anything she wanted me to, anything to make her happy. Before I opened my eyes to look up at her, she kissed me. I was taken aback by the unexpected suddenness of it, but quickly became lost, absorbed in her touch. My hands wandered over her body, intimately caressing her and she did the same. We communicated better without words and right now we were conveying our mutual desire for the other, each of us understanding that our feelings were reciprocated, that everything was alright with us, and that there was nothing to worry about—yet.
Things were simpler, clearer, when we broke apart. She was flushed, her eyes were heavy with desire that I attempted to ignore and she was wearing a small happy smile. I concentrated on seeing her and forgetting the mess I had previously endeavored to create, as a sense of clam washed gently over me; thanks entirely to her knowing exactly what I'd needed to relax and get me through this conversation.
'Is this related to what Mel hinted at with us as… well us,' she asked and I nodded in relief, sitting up to face her, grateful she was able to interpret the direction my illogical admissions were headed.
'I belong to you,' I signed without thinking, it was just the first thing I thought of then I had already signed it before stopping to consider the wisdom of doing so and now it was too late to start somewhere else.
'I don't understand,' she signed with a slight apologetic shake of her head and I marveled that she was even still willing to hear me out, let alone feel bad for not being able to piece together my fragmented confession, so taking a chance, I went for it.
'From the moment I saw you, I became yours and I'll always love you as much as I do right now—'
'You love me?' She interrupted, her astonished eyes wide and unblinking as she stared at me anxiously, holding her breath while she waited for my answer.
'More than anything,' I signed and when the only perceptible movement she made was the further rounding of her eyes, I added, 'always.'
'So this,' she paused to wave her hand back and forth between us before finishing, 'is forever, you're sure? No matter what?'
'Nothing could make me stop loving you,' I promised her then hesitantly traced a finger down the profile of her cheek, fearing she'd pull away. Instead, she smiled, her entire face lighting up with such radiant happiness I could barely remember to breathe, only the stinging burn and dizziness from oxygen deprivation prompting me to inhale again.
'Why? How do you know?' I tensed at the question, closing my eyes and taking several deep breaths to prepare myself and collect my thoughts before opening them ready to tell her, trying not to delay or keep her in suspense any longer than strictly necessary.
My hands felt stiff like my body was fighting me, urging me not to form those words, but I did anyways. 'Its part of what I am, getting to know when I first see my soul mate…' I trailed off, scared to continue. I was terrified I'd never see her smile at me the way she just had again once she knew everything though I knew I didn't have a choice, she had to be told the secret of our tribe, though only the pack was aware of its truth.
'What you are?' She signed the question slowly, not like she was scared, more like she thought she'd misunderstood and wanted confirmation of what I'd signed.
'I turn into a wolf,' I revealed then waited to see how she'd take it. My stomach twisted in painful knots, leaving me queasy while my forehead became instantly clammy. Icy bands of steel crept around my chest, gradually tightening as they cut off the air supply to my lungs and the flow of blood to my heart, waiting to see her reaction to know if it they would be required to crush the unnecessary organs should she react negatively.
'Okay,' she signed hesitantly, glancing around like she expected someone to pop out of hiding and scream "gottcha" because this was actually only a joke.
'Really,' I insisted, staring at her intently until she slowly nodded, understanding that I was serious. 'It's because I'm Quileute. Some of us do. We're strong, fast, hot—enhanced,' I explained deciding that keeping it simple would be best for now, no reason to overwhelm her or alarm her by over sharing just yet. She looked at me with a thoughtful expression, her eyes running over my face assessing me carefully.
'It doesn't hurt you does it?' She eventually asked and her concern made my heart swell till it completely filled my chest and warm tingles danced through me like static electricity. The constrictive pressure around my chest eased considerably and my shoulders sighed in relief as their heavy burden was lifted.
'No,' I assured her immediately, smiling easily. I had never felt such a liberating sense of freedom like this before.
'Can I see?'
'No,' I signed with a sharp snap of my fingers, feeling frantic over merely the idea of doing something so absurd.
My body tensed up again, every muscle pulled taunt. I wanted to kick myself for foolishly letting my guard down and relaxing like I was in the clear. I was stupid to think that the hard part was over with all this when obviously that wasn't the case because I had forgotten about so many little things just like this one.
I never expected her to want to see. I figured she'd want as little to do with that side of me as possible. She didn't grow up knowing about it so she must find it weird and people generally didn't do well with things that were considered abnormal, but then I should know better by now than to lump Krista in with the norm. There was nothing standard about her, she was completely extraordinary.
I quickly amended my refusal when I caught sight of her wounded expression, 'not till either Melody and Taylor or my mom and dad are here.'
'Your parents aren't here? How can you tell?' I touched my nose in answer figuring she could handle one more of my little quirks right now. She looked confused by my gesture at first, but then her face lit up in understanding and she started giggling madly.
'What?'
'I bet gym class sucks!' I could hardly believe how well she was taking this, to the point she felt comfortable making jokes about it. The realization brought a real smile to my face as I nodded in agreement. 'Why do the others have to be here? Can they turn into wolves too?' Again I nodded.
I wasn't sure how to explain the danger of me phasing and of me being a wolf to her, to make her understand how serious and real it was. I wanted to make that point clear from the start, but I was also still worried about not wanting to overload her with information and I had to be approaching that point about now. Too much and she'd be overwhelmed or the significance of certain things would get lost.
'You're afraid, why?' She asked, interrupting my internal debate by addressing the very subject in question. I wasn't even tripped up this time by her already knowing I was afraid, because she did know, she was simply struggling to understand the underlying cause motivating my fear.
'I don't want to hurt you and I could, so easily,' I admitted staring into her beautiful eyes so she could see my sincerity.
'Levi, you would never hurt me, it's just not possible,' she signed so confidently that a huge portion of the fear I constantly fought to stay in control of disappeared altogether, though I still felt it necessary to encourage her to be cautious and justify my reasoning.
'It's happened before.'
'But it wasn't you that hurt someone?' She signed making it a question though I could tell she already knew the answer.
'No, different wolf—an accident, but he hurt her,' I signed then remembering that she'd met them, I added, 'Emily, her face.' She was careful to keep whatever she was thinking and any surprise or fear from showing on her face, making it appear that she had no reaction whatsoever to the news, but I saw the pulse in her neck throb faster and a corresponding increase in color across her cheeks, something she wasn't adept at masking from me or anyone.
'You aren't him and I wouldn't care if you did that to me, not as long as you still loved me,' she declared fervently. Nothing had prepared me for such a statement. Never in my wildest dreams had I imagined receiving such unquestionable and undeniable proof of her acceptance for what I am or of knowing she cared more about my feelings for her than anything else.
It took me several minutes to recover from the shock she'd dealt me and when I did, I saw that her face was set with determination and I could tell she was bracing herself for my response so I kept it simple and heartfelt.
'Always.' She released a relieved sigh and her eyes drifted closed as she smiled happily.
'Then will you show me,' she requested hesitantly, making it clear that the choice was mine, but that I needn't be afraid because she trusted me implicitly and nothing would happen.
I didn't want to risk it, not really, but I needed to. This was important to her, that she be able to show me I wouldn't hurt her. She had been so understanding and accepting of me that I needed to make this gesture to show that her trust in me was well founded.
I led her outside, stopping only to help her into her winter coat and to wait while she slipped on the knee-high black, heeled boots she'd worn yesterday, which were tight and had buckles wrapping around the ankle. The combination of coat and boots made her look adorable, especially when paired with my boxers.
'Stay here,' I asked pausing on the patio and she nodded, sitting down in one of the chairs. She pulled her legs up and wrapped her arms around them to show she had no intention of moving. I walked to the center of the yard and hesitated, unsure how to proceed. She was watching me intently, so I awkwardly signed, 'I grow,' then indicated the shorts I was wearing, shifting uncomfortably.
It was harder outside in the chill morning air, but I still managed to detect her blush a full three seconds before she nodded to let me know she understood what I was trying to say. She didn't look away. Instead, her eyes stared, unblinking, at me, her gaze rioted. With a nervous swallow, which became painfully lodged in my throat, I pulled off my navy, cut-off sweats.
Standing straight, I felt the familiar warm tingle race down my spine, my body vibrating for a moment before I exploded, sandy fur sprouting across my skin as my body stretched and my insides shifted. One second I was me then the next I was landing on all fours, looking up at the most exquisite woman that ever existed, who was grinning, completely unafraid.
I watched her lips form my name and I shook my massive furry head, letting her know I still couldn't hear. My heart broke when her face fell and she nodded in understanding. It had been difficult to see my mom beat herself up and be upset that I couldn't hear as a wolf, but seeing Krista affected by it too was almost unbearable. I hated disappointing her. I lay down, resting my head on the ground between my paws, trying rather pointlessly to make myself appear smaller and less intimidating while I watched her look me over.
'Can you still understand me at all,' she signed while biting her lip and I lifted my head to nod. She released a great sigh and slumped forward a bit, relaxing her shoulders, 'oh good. I meant to ask before… forgot,' she signed as red bloomed across her cheeks and I realized I had made her forget, or my stripping for her had. 'Can I touch you?'
When I nodded again, she ran down to me, dropping by my side to sit on the cold ground and stroke my fur. It was soothing, like getting a massage. 'You're so soft and beautiful,' she signed and I nuzzled into her hand before resting my muzzle on her lap looking up at her. 'I love you,' she signed unexpectedly.
I hopped up and she stood as well looking confused, so I nudged her towards the porch and when she got there I phased back desperate for her in a way I needed to be human to experience.
'I love you too,' I signed before rushing to her, not bothering to grab my shorts in my rush to hold her again. She stared in shock, amazed by the speed and I flashed her a grin before capturing her lips in a passionate kiss.