Driving home was a confusing thing. First, she wanted to get home and finish her homework, but then, she wanted to turn back around and see him again. But she knew the outcome would be one thing either way: Her angry parents.
It was steadily almost four in the afternoon, she still had his shirt on, it had some splatters of blue paint, but she was fine with it. It was strangely like a support system she wore, the shirt was loose on her, but it was soft and safe. She wouldn't mind her parents' rude outrage at this, but she knew she'd fear not being able to see Toby again.
Thinking about it, were they about to… kiss? Or was it just her self-conscious? Maybe she was just dreaming again, hoping too hard when she knew hope breeds eternal misery, she'd learned the hard way many times before. But, damn, if he wanted to kiss her… Was she ready? Did she possibly want to be with him?
The questions kept pilling and pilling up on her as she pulled up to her house. It was dead silent inside her car, as she just took time to breathe. She hadn't been breathing at some points of her drive, the bubbling excitement from being with Toby distracting her even from things like breathing.
She exited her car, closing her door gently, not feeling the need to rush. She entered the gate after entering the code, and she opened the front door, always knowing it was unlocked. When she entered her house, it was quiet. Her Mom and Dad were sitting on the living room couch, and her mother stood up when Spencer entered.
"Spencer"- Her mother began, but Spence put up her hands, "Don't!" Her Mom stops, surprised at her daughters rage in her voice. "Just take my keys, my phone, and leave me alone! That's all you've ever done, just ignore me and pretend I am not such a burden, for once in your life." She hisses through her teeth, tears springing into her eyes.
Spencer breathes in, and her mother shakes her head. "Where have you been?" She asks, more roughly. "At the Brew"- She begins, but her mother walks right up to her, pinching the shirt Spencer was wearing. "Then where did you get a man's shirt?!" She hisses, ripping her hand off her shirt. Spencer has wide eyes at her mother's outrage.
"It's not what it looks like! I was helping… a friend, paint for the Brew." She says, her voice small. Her mother rolls her eyes. "And why did you need to change your shirt?" She asks, her hands clenched. Spencer looks up at her mom, and begins walking towards her room.
"Because he was kind enough to not want my clothes to get ruined, alright?! Would you just back off of me, and let me live!" Her mother steps away, and she crosses her arms. She doesn't say anything. Her dad stands up and walks in front of Spencer. He wears a blue polo button up shirt, and jeans, and he holds out his hands. "Spencer, your keys and your phone."
Spencer closes her mouth into a firm line, and places her keys and her phone into his hand. He takes them and her mother walks away into the kitchen to the left, disappearing behind the wall, her dad follows. "You can have your keys before school, but we are expecting you home right after school, do you understand?" He says, his voice trying to be mean, but it mainly just comes out sorrowful.
Spencer just nods, and walks away to her room, her bag dragging along the floor. She threw her school bag onto her bed, slamming her door as she went. She felt heat rising in her chest, the anger, until she looked at her laptop on her desk.
She raced to her Mac, and she opened it, the screen glowing up. She pressed onto her mail, going to the compose icon. She grabbed the slip of paper Toby gave her with his email out from her bag that was on her bed. And she saw it. His last name. It was Cavanaugh. He had supoosedly been molested by Jenna, and now she felt a large pit in her stomach. She felt bad for Toby, but there was no way she was going to bring that up. and she typed it quickly.
To: tobycavanaugh
From: spencerjhastings
It's Spencer. Sorry I had to leave early.
She left it at that, and clicked SEND. She waited, and waited, biting her nails between her teeth. She decided that he could be busy working, and she grabs her white binder from her bag, finishing some of her AP Chem homework that was assigned. She clicked her pen over and over again, knowing all the answers usually came so easy to her, but tonight, she was blank. Like her inbox to her mail.
Until suddenly, there was a single link to mail. Spencer places her pen on her desk, and her binder on the floor. She clicks quickly on the link, and she smiles when she sees it's from Toby.
From: tobycavanaugh
It's okay, are you alright? And Hastings is your last name? It suits you well, Blazer Girl.
Spencer sighs, and she breathes in deeply, before typing quickly:
Yeah, just my parents… I no longer have my own ride or phone. What I get for getting home drunk. And thanks a lot, Paint Boy, and I tell you, IT WAS A JACKET.
Spencer waits again, watching the screen silently. A bubble pops up with words.
From: tobycavanaugh
Oh, I'm so sorry Spencer. I wish I could do something to help you. By the way, the whole blazer thing is still up to a debate.
She smiles at the last bit, but she doesn't want Toby to feel responsible for this. It was her mess. But she wished she could see him again… then she had an idea. It was so stupid, she could've thought of this forever ago with the technology they had.
Toby, do you think we could video chat? I'm having a lot of doubts, I can't even remember the Krebs Cycle.
She sounded almost needy, and she hated herself as soon as she asked. Of course she couldn't, he had to paint! She slapped herself in the face, now she was angry with herself more than her parents.
From: tobycavanaugh
Sure! I don't want to distract you though, and I have no idea what a Krebs Cycle is, but, I'm sure you can explain it?
Spencer half smiles, and she answers,
Okay. Thank you, Toby.
She waits after she sends it, until her screen blacks out with a small notification that tobycavanaugh wanted to video chat with her. She instantly clicked, "Accept".
The screen went black again, until a fuzzy image came on, with music blurring through the laptop. The Head and The Heart, of course, and Toby sat in front of the camera, even more paint on his face. Spencer laughs, as he wipes his hands on his black shirt.
"What? This is what hard work looks like, Hastings." He says, his voice sounding different. Spencer smiles, leaning back in her chair. Toby's eyes wander around her room, and he says,
"Wow, even your room is preppy." Spencer laughs, and she pushes herself closer to her laptop. "Hey! This is what hard work looks like, Cavanaugh!" She mimics him, and he smiles, letting his head fall forward and he shakes his head. His hair is messy, but shinny on the computer screen. She stares at him, but then she grabs her binder from the floor. She begins writing the explanation for the Krebs Cycle.
"Is that some homework you have?" Toby asks, eyeing the paper. She nods, and she sighs, "Accessories of going to school." She replies, writing quickly. He nods, and he turns in his seat, and he walks out of screen space. Spencer watches, and then the music becomes quieter. Toby returns, and he sits back down.
"Did you go to Rosewood High, Toby?" She asks, looking up at him from her paper. Toby looks down, and he sighs. "Yeah, I did. But, I left and got my GED and now, I'm living the full life." He says, as suddenly one of the light bulbs from above Toby clashes and goes dead. He sighs, and he shakes his head. Spencer laughs, and he half smiles when she does.
"That's nice." He says. She stops laughing, and she asks him curiously, "What?" He looks right at her through the screen, but in the moment the screen isn't there. It's almost like there was no screen separating them, like he was truly just sitting right across from her.
"Your laugh, it's nice." He exclaims, the corner of his mouth raising up. Spencer blushes, and she shrugs. "You do too, Toby, when you do laugh." She means it, his laugh is like a melody that reflects his kind personality. It soothed her, surprisingly more than coffee. He chuckles softly, and it lightens her heart.
"I'm really sorry, I don't know when I can help you with the loft"- Spencer says with meaning, feeling bad she can't help him, at least, for now. He stops her, "Spencer, it's okay, really. I can wait."
"Wait? No, Toby don't wait on me, my parents are a tough crowd, and they will keep me under house arrest for quite some time." She explains, her voice growing desperate. She didn't want him to wait for her, she wasn't worth that wait. But for some reason, he makes her feel worth it, in some ways.
Toby stays quiet for a moment, just for a moment, he looks at her like she was being sarcastic, but he seemed like he caught on that her answer came out from her deeper set feelings.
"Spencer, seriously. Are you okay?" He asks, leaning forward. Spencer sighs, and she feels her throat close up. He waits thought, watching her carefully. "It's nothing…" She says.
"No, it's not nothing. What can I do? I'll juggle these oranges if that helps," He adds, making her let a smile escape. He smiles at her release of some stress, but he continues, saying, "Or I could come over, only if you were comfortable." He says.
Spencer raises an eye at him, and she hesitates. "Toby, but your motorcycle"-
"It is fixed." He says. Spencer gasps, and she looks at him. "No, no way! I saw that thing, it was completely crushed!" She exclaims. Toby shakes his head, crossing his arms. "The wheel was crushed, Spencer, attention to detail. When it was delivered, all I really had to do was change the tire. Not so bad."
"I can't believe you fixed it!" Spencer says, her voice light. Toby nods, and he leans back. "I would like for you to come over, but, Toby, my parents"-
"Just meet me outside then, please Spencer. I want to know you're okay."
Spencer pauses, and she doesn't say anything. He got really actually upset, almost like he was desperate to see her. He notices her shock, and he sighs.
"I'm sorry, it's just… when I'm around you, I don't know, I feel like I can be myself. I haven't felt that around anybody, but you. And you… you're amazing, Spencer. You don't deserve my sad little attention, but I promise I will bring you the best CD you will ever hear if you let me see you, no creepy stuff." He adds.
Spencer is blown away. He actually cares about her, he wants to make sure she is okay, and she knows she's willing to break the rules for him. "Okay." Spencer says. He smiles, and she feels alright. For once, she is okay.
She waited out front of her house. Her parents didn't care. She told Toby to meet her out front after giving him her address at ten. She didn't want to be seen leaving, and thought it would be better if she left when her parents were asleep. After she told Toby that, she had to part with him and finish her homework. But Toby had argued with her, no for real, just a small quarrel, and he said he would just let her work. So, she had left him on video chat, and she sat on her bed, finishing her overwhelming amount of homework. He painted the rest of his walls, not touching the area Spencer had painted.
And after he had finished that, she was still finishing her homework, and he just watched her. It wasn't creepy like she would've felt with other guys watching her, it was calming, knowing he just liked to look at her work and concentrate. Spencer ended the video chat then after, saying she'd wait for him out front. He had said, "Goodbye, Blazer Girl." And she said back, "Goodbye, Paint Boy."
And the screen had gone black. She changed out of his shirt, and she folded it, placing it inside her closet. She changed into black jeans, and she threw on a red sweater since it was chillier outside. She had grabbed her black boots, and sneaked down stairs, carefully walking past her parents' bedroom, and out the door without another glance.
So now, standing outside, she felt anxious. Her legs were shaking, her breath coming out of her mouth. She had brushed her teeth beforehand, her breath now minty freshness. She watched the blank black street, lights coming and going. She waited for the single headlight to signal his motorcycle. Something, anything. She didn't even know what time it was.
She shivered, and her hair was now down. Her natural curls pulled through, and now her hair was actually quite messy. Spencer didn't mind though because the only thing she could think of was just seeing Toby. Until, she finally saw him.
The headlight was wasted and worn out, but she saw his silhouette. He had on a motorcycle helmet, the glass covering his eyes, the gray helmet circled around his head. Spencer smiles. He rushes in front of her, braking softly, the motorcycle motor loud and smelled of gasoline.
He raises a gloved hand, and flicks the glass eye piece up, revealing his eyes. "Hop on!" He says. Spencer's mouth drops. He takes off his helmet, and his hair stands up easily, as he hands it out to her. "No, this is crazy!" She says. Toby shrugs. "Sure it is! But it'll be fun, I promise, I'll keep you safe."
Spencer sighs, and she takes the helmet. "What about you?" She asks. He smiles. "I'm experienced, I got it, Spencer. Do you trust me?" He asks, staring at her with the motor running hungrily.
Spencer nods. "I trust you."
She slides her leg over the seat, slipping on. She is unsure how to sit, never being on a motorcycle. She slips her hands around his waist, and then he takes one hand off the handles, and he presses her hands tighter around his torso, around his leather jacket. She slides the helmet on, and it's dark. But she can almost feel his breath inside of the helmet, and she feels more comfortable. She shivers as a breeze comes in.
"Hang on tight, okay? Spencer, are you cold?" He asks over the sound of the motorcycle. Spencer nods against his back. He nods, and he pries her hands off him, and he peels his jacket off. "No, I'm okay." She begins, but he turns around, handing Spencer the leather jacket.
"I can't drive if I have a shaking Spencer Hastings behind me." He says. Spencer slips on the jacket, and it's warm inside. She wraps her arms tightly around him, and she feels his strong torso, and she blushes when her head presses against his back.
She can literally feel his heart pound under her palms past all the New York sounds. He twists his hand on the handle, pausing for a moment, but then the motorcycle takes off. Spencer feels her heart lurch into her stomach as the speed takes on, and the heat of the motorcycle grows up on Spencer's legs.
The stars are bright above them, and Toby drives carefully, fast, but straight. He makes a U-turn, and he takes her down a narrow path through the woods after a few minutes of driving. Spencer looks around through her helmet. She is curious at where they are, the only light is the small one the headlight gave, and the bright blue moon.
She breathes in, and it smells like pine and fresh night air. Toby suddenly pulls up to a full field. It's full of thin yellow grass, it dances gently with the breeze. There are trees surrounding the field, but it's beautiful. It's so beautiful, Spencer feels her heart slow down and stay that way. The sky gives the field a finishing touch, and it's like a painting. And Toby was the artist.
Toby brakes the bike, and shuts off the engine, pulling out keys. She releases her grip around him, and she slides off, standing unsteadily, her legs hot. She pries the helmet off her head, and she sets it down on the seat of the motorcycle. Toby stands up, and she realizes he's in a long sleeved white shirt, and a change of jeans, and now biker sneakers, black with leather laces.
"Wow." Spencer gasps, the breeze blowing her hair back. Toby looks down at her, and he surprisingly grabs her hand into his. Spencer looks down, and he brings her hand to his lips, kissing the top of her hand gently, then letting her hand go, opening up his arms, and smiling.
"Welcome, to the field of rye!" Toby exclaims. Spencer smiles. "What was this all for?" She asks. Toby smiles. "Well, I thought since you enjoyed the Catcher in the Rye, I might as well let you come see my secret place." Spencer steps forward, into the field. She touches the tops of the rye, they tickled her fingers lightly. She smiles, and she feels free. Toby doesn't move from behind her, he just stops and stares.
"It's beautiful here. Do you come here a lot?" She asks, turning around. He nods. "I come here as a reprieve I guess. It's nice here, it's quiet, peaceful. And, you can lie back in the field and look up, and it's like a huge canvas. Sometimes, I just like to come out here at night and look at the stars."
Spencer smiles, and she laughs. He furrows his eyes at her. "What?" He asks, almost embarrassed. "No, it's cute. I love it, you come out here just to… breathe, right?" She asks. He nods, and he walks towards her. "Yeah, you can say that." He stops in front of her.
Spencer looks up at him, and suddenly, a bright light comes from above them. They both look up, and a huge shooting star shoots above them, across the sky, disappearing behind the trees. Spencer watches in awe, and Toby smiles. "Did you make a wish?" She asks. Toby nods. "Tell me?" She asks. Toby sighs, and then he looks deeply into her eyes.
He looks into her, the stars around them combining into a huge light, they reflect in his eyes, his beautiful bright eyes. He lowers his voice, stepping right in front of her, as he joins her in the middle of the field. "I wished… I could kiss you, Spencer Hastings…"
Before she can protest, or even process what his answer was, he leans into her, and presses his warm lips against hers. Something inside her is finally released, a mix of passion and need. The mix of warmth and cool. His hands roam behind her back, up her back then down, creating a chill to spiral up her bones. Her eyes sink closed, and she breathes in deeply, his breath mixing with hers. She wraps her arm around his neck, holding his face against hers, and her other hand is on the side of his face, trailing down his jaw. The moment is magical, it completes her.
His mouth lingers along hers, and she stands up on her toes to keep her face connected with his. Her body is pressed against his, a puzzled finally put together. She slowly pulls back, and she kisses him again lightly. His eyes are brighter now than any star she's ever seen.
"Whoa." She says. His hands are still around her back, and slip away onto her hips. "I, um, was not expecting that." She says, her voice small, as she shyly looks at him. He breathes deeply. "Me either." He answers, his voice smooth and a whisper. He leans down, and he presses his forehead against hers. She closes her eyes, and she suddenly hugs him, as if she was thanking him. He is surprised, but he breathes her in, and hugs her back.
His arms are warm and strong, and it they surrounded her small frame. They stayed like that, just for this moment, as the stars sparkled along the black sky. But the world didn't seem so dark anymore. Not to Spencer, and not to Toby.