Thank you to everyone who's been reading and thanks for the reviews :) They're very encouraging. Okay, so this is set after the infamous date scene from Derek's POV. Enjoy, even though it's kind of long!

Disclaimer: Still don't own anything

Stupid teenagers and their stupid hormones

DPOV

My trek through the woods to find Simon managed to put me in an even blacker mood, which I didn't think was possible. The oncoming Change was making me irritable and the night's events and everything they brought on were not helping.

After Chloe and Simon had left for the night, I had tried to lose myself in the books of the library, refusing to think about their date. That proved to be unsuccessful.

Very unsuccessful.

Their stupid date was all I could think about.

Over the past couple of days I had come to admit and accept that I liked Chloe as more than a friend, though, if I was being honest, things had been like that for me for a while now. Ever since the second Change.

Either way, it doesn't matter how I feel because nothing will come of it and I know that. With that in mind, I had decided that I wasn't going to do anything about it and wait for-pray that-these feelings went away, which seemed to be wishful thinking…

So I ended up spending the hour and a half that they were in my room, brooding, for which I was not proud but could not help. At first, my anger had been directed at Andrew. I could not, and still cannot, believe that he let them go out. It was reckless and irresponsible and he was supposed to be the one taking care of us. But no, he just let them saunter out of the house like we lived in rainbow land with cotton candy clouds dotting the sky. He was probably just trying to make sure that Simon got the girl, I had thought somewhat bitterly.

I remembered with a mix of painful acceptance and indignation what Andrew had said to Chloe about my evident "attachment" to her and to always remember that I wasn't all human, disdain and fear respectively colouring his tone.

I'm not blind. I'm not under any false pretence. I know Andrew likes Simon better. I also know that he's afraid of me and as much as try to tell myself that I don't care, that he's wrong, screw him… it hurts. I had thought that he knew me well enough to know that I wasn't going to go on some unpredictable, bloodthirsty killing spree. I guess not. And his doubts sometimes make me think that maybe he is right, that when I become a full-fledged werewolf, I won't be as in control as I'd like to think, that I should be something to shy away from, to fear.

Then my thoughts turned to Simon and I was surprised at the intensity of my anger and jealousy. I was even more surprised at the words that the wolf was throwing his way. Rationality somehow then managed to take over and reign in my otherwise furious thoughts. Of course he liked-likes- Chloe. What isn't there to like? Hell, even I liked her and I disregard 99.9% of all people. I couldn't blame him for that. I could still be jealous though; jealous that he got to spend time alone with her and jealous that he was who he was, which was someone who deserved Chloe and could make her happy and safe.

And finally, every other feeling I had had evaporated and all I was left with was hurt and loneliness when I thought of Chloe. And those feelings were completely irrational and unjustifiable. Why should she have-could she have- the power to hurt me, unknowingly to boot? I, who completely ignore social rules and frivolities, even knew the outcome to this story. There is no way that in this lifetime someone like Chloe would fall for someone like me, especially when Simon was an option. There was no self-pity in that statement. There couldn't be because it was cold hard fact and I had known that from the start, when the first seeds of attraction had begun to bloom.

Still.

It hurt to know that I wasn't good enough and that I wouldn't-couldn't, ever be. To know, to know for sure, that Chloe was completely out of reach, did terrible things to me. Even the wolf, who has been saying things like 'Ours' whenever I think of Chloe, which has been a lot lately, was whimpering. It was truly pathetic. I was pathetic.

I had looked out the window and in an instant was rushing down the stairs, my pity-party coming to an end. It was dark out. Simon had promised me, promised, that they'd be back before dark. Anger and worry were waging a battle for dominance as I was pacing in front of the door, giving them two more minutes before I went looking, when I heard Chloe coming towards the house…

Well, that altercation had been great. I snort. Not.

Being me, I had practically demanded she tell what had happened; not missing the fact that she was crying and wanting to teach Simon some basic survival skills.

Then she dropped the bomb.

Simon, my little genius of a brother, thought that Chloe liked me. I felt like I had been slapped like the wind had been knocked right out of me. I didn't even know how to process that information, react to it, because I had just previously established that that possibility was impossible. When she denied it, I battled between relief, almost gratefulness and severe disappointment and hurt.

She had said that she didn't like me and she shouldn't. I was a grumpy, stubborn, self-righteous know-it-all and possibly dangerous-I was anything if not self-aware. The thing is though, that I had prepared for that, for her not liking me that way, I had planned for it and knew how I was going to proceed. Now this sudden curveball, that created a crack in my steely resolve to not do anything and try to not feel anything, just added to the confusion because now I didn't know what do to or what to believe. Even though I knew that I liked Chloe, it still confused because I've never felt this way and I never really thought that I would. Chloe confused me too, and not just mentally. Whenever I smelt her, or heard her voice, or even looked at her, my senses were assaulted. They were overwhelmed. She also scared me.

I know. The thought of Chloe scaring anyone was comical. But it was true. She scared me because she was the reason I felt the way I did-normal, trusted, comfortable, accepted-and I didn't know to react to what I was feeling. Sometimes I even wanted to scare her away just so I didn't need to deal with all the confusion and venture into unknown, uncertain territory.

Plus there's the fact that in the long run, I don't think I could be what Chloe would need me to be. I have no experience, unsurprisingly. None. I wouldn't know how to be charming, how to comfort her. And I would most definitely not know how to be a boyfriend. Chloe deserved the best and if anyone, not just me, couldn't give that to her, then they didn't deserve her.

But alas, there was the old male ego and my stupid feelings to take into consideration and her denial hurt, more than I care to admit. Because during my hour and a half of brooding, a couple of fantasies, of which Chloe was the star, flitted through my mind and I couldn't help but enjoy them, wish for them to become reality. I had to remind myself that it wasn't possible.

There was Simon to consider too. She had hurt. She had rejected him and brotherly instinct kicked in. Practically insinuating that she was a manipulative heart breaker was definitely not one of my finer moments.

I knew she was upset. I knew she needed a friend, understanding, maybe even a little empathy, but in the haze brought on by the change and the ride of emotions I seemed to be riding, I couldn't manage that. I did however manage to make things exponentially worse by upsetting her more, which made me feel fanfreakingtastic. And her tear filled eyes practically ripped my heart to pieces because I wanted to chase them away but I didn't know how to do that without getting slapped, though I doubted she would slap me, or scaring her off because all I was thinking of doing was pulling her into my arms and apologizing a million times if I had to, which was not an option. So I ended doing what I apparently now do best. Nothing. I walked her back to the house, making sure she was safe and that was that.

Mind-blowing, I know.

So now I find myself completely pissed off and confused, trying to find Simon. I was mad at him for upsetting her and for taking her out in the first place and mad at myself for making things worse and screwing things up. When I finally found him, he was sitting on the ground in a clearing and, too angry for pretences, I stood in front him, crossed my arms and asked, "What happened?"

Unsurprised by my curtness, he stood up, ignored my question and said, "Wow, I can't believe Chloe likes you when she knows you can be like this." He didn't seem mad, a bit upset, but not mad. There wasn't even any hurtful inflection in his voice. It almost sounded like he was… joking?

"Chloe doesn't like me." I say gruffly. He snorts.

"Whatever Derek. She does. She couldn't even get the words 'I don't like Derek' out of her mouth. And you like her too, I mean-"

I cut him off, not liking the knowing look in his eyes or where this is going. It had been hard enough to admit to myself that I liked Chloe; there was no way that I was admitting it to Simon. We needed to get back on track. I needed to know what happened. And I had to stop the wolf from yelping in contentment, a sentiment brought on by Simon's words.

"Simon. What. Happen." I say, making it clear that it isn't a question. He sighed, knowing that he couldn't put it off any longer.

"It didn't work out. She's not into me that way, which became painfully obvious when I tried to kiss her-" low, inaudible growl on my part "-and it felt as if she'd rather be anywhere but where she was. She basically confirmed what I had already suspected and I, ah… got a little sensitive." he admitted this last part rather sheepishly.

"So you walked away from her? Left her alone, unprotected and defenseless in the woods?" I ask angrily.

He suddenly found something very enticing to look at on the ground. His discomfort didn't last long though because he was suddenly looking at me steadily in the eyes.

"You're wrong D. She wasn't alone. She had you and she likes it that way."

I had to stomp on the sudden wave of contentment and bliss that Simon's words brought on. Because even if it was nice to think about and tempting to hope for, I couldn't give myself that luxury because I'd most likely be setting myself up for disappointment and more hurt. If I put myself out there and Chloe, one of the few people I've grown to fully trust and count on, didn't want me… I don't know how I'd deal with that or how we'd get past it because all things aside, Chloe was my friend and I value her friendship too much to jeopardize it. Plus, what kind of brother would I be if I disregarded the fact that she hurt Simon? A shit one, that's what.

"Simon, I'm-"

He cut me off angrily. "Don't you dare say you're sorry Derek. I'm not going to condemn you for not being able to control your feelings. Hell, it's nice to know that you can't be in control of everything all the time. I mean," His angry rant over, he continued jokingly, "I'll let your slip slide this time, but don't let it happen again." He even managed a cheeky grin.

"But she-"

Simon was apparently a mind reader too because he was prepared for what I was about to say next.

"Yeah, she hurt me, kind of surprised me too." I felt like saying welcome to the club but chose to keep my mouth shut. "But I'll get over it. It's not like I was in love with her." The latter statement was accompanied by an odd look, like he was trying to figure something out.

"I'm tired and I'm going to go to bed." He continued "This was a nice little heart-to-heart bro; we should do it again sometime." He finished by clapping me on the back. "By the way," he called over his shoulder, "just this once, I'm right. So not only do I get bragging rights when this all works out, I also get to tell you what to do, which is to not be too stubborn or too scared to take a chance."

Tired, confused, unable to focus properly, hot, itchy and not used to not having the last word, I sighed and followed Simon back to the house, prepared to do whatever needed to get Chloe to come for the quick-coming Change. I wasn't thinking past that. Once I had rested, I would think about everything that had been said and sort through what I felt so I could figure out how to proceed.

I took a deep breath and knocked on Chloe's door.

Please R&R :)