Just a Normal Person

Chapter 24

Jason~

I fake a laugh and smile as Emily says something that caused that reaction from everyone else. We're at Jake's, we meaning Brenda, Emily, Zander and of course myself. There are an extra 3 people in this bar at the moment that I know.

I just want to sit here and have beer after beer on my own, I do not want to see her face, nor do I want to have to try to play the polite kind older brother when all I want to do is start a fight. All I can see are Sonny and Brenda in the kitchen, in our kitchen. I should have walked in when I saw them together, I should have walked in when I heard Brenda's declaration of forgiveness, their confessions of love, I should have done anything but walk away after I saw them kiss. But I couldn't risk walking in at that point there was too great of a chance I would slam my fist into my best friend, my partner's face.

I'm already on my third beer within a half an hour of getting here. Why I had let Brenda drag me to the hospital to see Kristina, Alexis and Ned's child I don't know. Why I had allowed myself into being talked into going to Jake's with them to celebrate I don't know, at the moment Brenda's sweet smile, completely unaware she had hurt me, completely unaware it was possible to hurt me and the thought of massive amounts of alcohol to ease the pain seemed like a good idea, right now though, it was not working. "We should celebrate this properly." They all turn to me, I know they're expecting champagne, but I instead turn to the bartender "4 shots of tequila"

I turn to see the females grimacing

"Explain to me how me throwing up all night is celebrating Kristina's birth?" Brenda questions

I just laugh and hand the shot that was quickly placed in front of me to her and down mine before Emily and Zander even take theirs off the bar.

"Weren't we supposed to toast?" Emily says staring at me

I just look at her, then turn back to the bartender and motion to my glass, she fills it back up. "To Kristina" I say raising the shot up, I control my urge to immediately take the shot and wait for them to raise their glasses and repeat my words.

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"What the hell is wrong with you?" Emily corners me off to the side as Brenda and Zander look through the jukebox

"Nothing, what makes you think anything is wrong?"

"Six beers and three shots in under an hour."

"Am I drunk?" I ask only because I know I'm not, not yet that is, soon but not yet.

She frowns "You've spoken two words to Brenda all night."

"You're exaggerating"

"You aren't acting like yourself."

"How am I acting?"

She looks at me, searching for the words

I look at her and laugh, it's not a nice laugh though, it's a sarcastic laugh "Let me guess, like normal, like a normal person that is. Like someone who gets to have moods, who gets to be happy, sad, pissed, without any real reason. Then again I don't get to act like that because I'm just a robot, no feelings no emotions, right/wrong, black/white….I don't get the gray."

She's confused; she's shocked, she's never had to deal with this, because it was always either perfect Jason Q or one dimensional Jason Morgan. "What's wrong?" she asks

"Nothing" I point to the shot glasses still on the bar and Julie, our faithful little bartender rushes over to fill them. I hand a shot to Emily, then proceed to take the remaining 3 on my own. I take a deep breath because I know soon this pain will ease. I now know why so many people become alcoholics; it's so freeing just letting go of everything…

"Everything okay guys?" Zander says approaching us and seeing the serious looks on our faces

"Yea" I say before Em can respond "Everything's fine."

"Good" Zander says with a nod of his head, I can see in his eyes that the alcohol is starting to affect him "Pool?" He says motioning towards the table.

"Sounds good. You pair up with Emily, I'll take Brenda."

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Brenda giggles

I turn to her "What?"

"You're drunk" Her eyes widen as she says this, she once more turns to a giggle

"You're one to speak"

"I never claimed to be sober" she giggles some more

Brenda probably has one of the cutest laughs I've ever heard, who am I kidding? She has the cutest laugh I've ever heard and no one else's has even come close.

"I like you drunk" she says raising up a hand to touch my cheek looking deep into my eyes. She leaves her hand there and doesn't move as she looks into my eyes. Even in my state, I can feel my breath freeze, I wanna tell her I like her all the time and if she wanted me to, I'd always be drunk. I'd do anything she'd ask. "I never got my dance at Luke's"

"I never promised you a dance at Luke's"

Still gazing into my eyes, "I'm your wife Jason, for better or worse, that means you put up with dancing." Better for me, worse for you." She ends with a laugh and I laugh with her and lift her off the barstool.

In movies it seems that music has perfect timing, in real life though it has a little sister. Brenda leads me to the dance floor and as she turns to me the music changes. It's slow and I pull her close for awhile I don't hear anything, I feel a rhythm, I feel her. The music slowly enters my brain, I struggle to keep hold of the situation, and I can't forget the facts…

Forever always seems to be around when things begin

But forever never seems to be around when things end

So give me your forever

Please your forever

Not a day less will do

From you

She stops and looks up at me as the music ends; she just looks up into my eyes. A new song starts, but we don't move. She just looks at me. I realize that if there were ever a moment to kiss her this would be it. I can't though, even through my alcohol induced fog, I know I could never be happy with just one kiss.

I start moving again, it's a faster song. It takes Brenda a moment; she catches the beat of the song and lowers her gaze. I know the song this time, it's "Blaze of Glory."

"I'm going down in a blaze of glory/Take me now but know the truth/I'm going out in a blaze of glory /And lord never I drew first but I drew first blood" Zander and Emily sing from next to Brenda and I, the next thing I realize we're singing right along with them. With one arm around Brenda we're facing them and singing at the top of our lungs.

Kitty, the one waitress in this place comes over to us at the end as we're laughing "Four more you guys?"

Emily starts to shake her head no as Zander nods. "Em, come on, you need to be awake for anything tomorrow?"

"No, but I would like to be able to move three days from now." She laughs

Brenda's the one who decides "Four more" she says with a smile

"Am I the only one who's noticed we're drunk?" Emily asks turning back to us

"I realized that" I look down at my watch "about an hour ago Em"

"Yea" Brenda says nodding in agreement "I was drunk about 45 minutes into being here."

"I put all the blame on this man" Zander says slapping my back

Brenda nods "He is the tequila man"

"I may be the tequila man, but who's ordered at least the last dozen rounds of beer?" I say looking at her

"We have soooo not had a dozen rounds of beer, I'm still standing." She smiles, "But not for long" she sees Kitty already approaching with our beers

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Brenda and I attempt playing pool again, it doesn't go so well. We keep ending up laughing. Brenda goes to take a shot and the next thing I know the cue ball is flying towards me and I have to duck out of the way. Brenda runs towards me laughing so hard no sound is coming out of her mouth besides gasps for air. She falls upon me, hugging me as she laughs, pressing every inch of her body against me. I hold her upright as she continues to laugh so hard her body is violently shaking against mine and eventually I stop laughing because I can't breathe, but not because anything is funny. She looks up at me again, she just continues to look, I have no idea what she's seeing, but she keeps looking so intently. "I wanna dance again."

I start to say something, but then I realize something, we're already swaying to the music. "We already are."

Well I'm so far away every step that I take's on my way home

Kings ransom in dimes I give each night to see through this pay phone

Still I run out of time or it's hard to get through to the pearl on the wire that brings me back to you

I just close my eyes and whisper, but Baby but our love is true

I wanna lay you down in a bed of roses

For the night I sleep on a bed of nails

I wanna be just as close as the Holy Ghost is

And lay you down on a bed of roses

Well there's hotel bars, hangovers, whiskeys gone dry…

We'd stop moving again and we were just staring as she tilted her chin up and the next thing I realized we were kissing. It happened so naturally, it felt as if we'd been doing this our whole lives. It wonderful, exciting, but it felt natural. I couldn't tear my mouth away from hers even if I tried. My hands went to her hair and her hands clenched around my neck. I tried to regain sanity, but it was a lost cause. She sighed as I pulled away and then pulled me back. There was no stopping at that point. I remember lifting her up, I wanted her closer to me, I wanted her eye level. I felt her legs wrap around my waist. I heard Emily's giggle and I remembered we were still in the bar, still in public.

I pull our mouths apart again "Bren, we're in public"

I go to let her down, but she clamps her legs onto my waist "I don't care" she whispers in my ear as she moves her lips to my neck. I groan aloud, I can't help it. She then allows herself to slip to the floor "Pay the tab"

"Kitty" I call across the bar, she tries to pretend, she hadn't been watching. I drop a few hundreds down; I don't bother looking to see how much I've put down. I turn back around and realize Brenda isn't standing there anymore; I look around and see she's at the door waiting for me. Her look was all the invitation I needed. My lips recapture hers as one hand pushes against the door as the other locked around her body. The car's waiting for us, we stumble towards it, never separating, we know we're there only by the fact that Brenda's body slams up against it. For a moment we stay there, till I grope around enough to find the handle. We turn as Brenda pushes me into the car; the car door eventually shuts, not by either of us. I'm propped up against the side with Brenda on me. The car starts moving, but we can barely tell…