Chapter 25

The Morning After


Jason

I've been awake for almost ten minutes, I woke up how I normally wake up with Brenda in my arms. Only this morning is different and I don't mean because neither of us are wearing any clothing. It's different because I know it'll be the last morning. My antics last night were stupid, amazing but stupid. I should have pulled away after the first kiss, I should have regained my sanity in the limo instead of carrying Brenda inside with her legs once more wrapped around my waist and her lips alternating between mine and my neck. I should have dropped her to the floor inside of trying to carry her upstairs and losing track of my destination about halfway up the stairs. I wish I could really regret what happened in those hours in between and a part of me does, but I can't. It's been all I've dreamed about for weeks, hell maybe even months and it was more amazing than I thought possible.

The only reason I regret it is because I don't know what it's going to do to us. I made love to the love of my life, a woman whose in love with another man, my best friend. I know Brenda, she'll regret this. I know she didn't regret it last night, I know every time she woke up, she reached for me, but I know in the light of day she will.

I finally force myself to look at the clock, 10:15 it read, the last time I'd looked at it, it had been almost 6. I realize I might as well go to the office, it was bound to be better to get the pain over with than lie here holding her in my arms for the last time because it hurt too much to realize that what we had was over.

She's awake by the time I get out of the shower, dressed in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt looking out the window. "It's almost spring" is all she says

"I'm sure we're in for a few more storms before then."

"Yea that always happens, I always break out all of my spring stuff and then winter comes back with a vengeance."

I continue to watch her looking outside, I curse myself for not having brought clothing into the bathroom with me so I wouldn't be standing here in a towel now. I also curse myself for being unable to say anything about last night.

"I'm sorry" she says still looking outside

It draws me out of my thoughts, "Huh?"

"About last night I'm sorry."

"Bren"

"No," she turns and waves her hand dismissing my words "I mean I know it was both of us, but it was stupid. I don't want to destroy our friendship Jason."

"Our friendship will be fine."

She shakes her head some more "I didn't want this to happen. Can we just try to forget about it?"

I force myself to not shut my eyes in pain, my heart has been ripped out, but I can't show her that. "We can just blame it on the booze Bren, we can move past it."

She nods her head and turns back to the window "Thank you."