Chapter 16: A Wish for Something More

Edward moved to lead Bella toward his rental car, gingerly placing his hand on the small of her back. He realized belatedly that the gesture was probably too familiar for their acquaintance, but when she made no move to evade his touch, he allowed his hand to remain there. Bella felt the heat from his hand, as it seemed to sear straight through the layers of her clothing. Though she was initially shocked by the action, she allowed herself to take comfort in his warmth.

Once they arrived at his car, a non-descript sedan, Edward opened the door for Bella, allowing her to slide inside and away from the biting, cold wind that made its way in from the ocean. She gave him a timid smile as he closed the door and moved around to enter the car, starting it up and allowing the warmth from the heater to fill the enclosed space. Bella buckled her seatbelt and placed her hands in her lap, feeling nervousness and excitement moving through her body.

As he maneuvered the car onto the highway towards Forks, Edward adjusted the radio to a level that was loud enough to provide a distraction from the uncomfortable silence, yet soft enough to allow for easy conversation. Looking over at Bella, he noticed that her shoulders were tense and she was staring towards the floor, not paying attention to him, the road, or the high rate of speed at which he was traveling. Edward wondered if he had made a mistake in offering her a ride home.

"I'm warm enough now," Bella said, her voice barely audible over the sounds of the classical music that poured from the speakers. In the same moment, both reached for the adjustment dial, their fingers bumping in mid air. Though Edward's fingers were cold, likely from having spent so much time sitting on the beach, Bella still felt the fiery warmth that emanated from him, sending a delicious tingle through her fingers and straight up her arm.

"I haven't been to a bonfire in La Push since high school," Edward began. "My friends and I used to drive out there every weekend during the summer, build a fire, drink, and just hang out. Do you go to the beach there a lot?"

"Sometimes….I guess mostly when Seth drags me along. There usually aren't as many people."

"Crowds make you uncomfortable?"

"Not the crowds as much as being around people I don't know."

"Oh," Edward sighed, feeling as though the offer of a ride was definitely a bad idea. He should have known she'd be uncomfortable like this, stuck in a car with him on a dark, practically deserted road.

"I didn't mean—not you, really. We kind of know each other."

"Bella, it's okay. I know what you meant."

They soon arrived at the Forks city limits. Bella gave Edward directions, pointing him towards Charlie's house. When they pulled up, she was surprised to see that the cruiser was missing. Unbuckling her seat belt, she turned towards Edward.

"Thanks for the ride, Edward. It was really kind of you."

"You're welcome."

"Have a good night," Bella said, opening the door and moving to step out.

"Bella, wait," Edward said, reaching to rub his palm across the back of his neck, a sure sign of his anxiety and discomfort. "I know we don't know each other very well, but, well, I'd like to…get to know you better, that is. Would you want to maybe get a coffee with me one day, after work? I could pick you up at the diner or just meet you there. Whatever makes you comfortable."

"Sure," Bella replied, the words escaping her lips before she'd taken time to consider his request.

Edward waited until she entered the house, returning the wave she gave him. He exhaled a giant sigh of relief, wondering why this waitress suddenly made him feel like a 17-year-old boy again.

~ O ~

The house was quiet and still as Bella entered, the faint sounds of the television drifting from the living room. Bella toed off her shoes and headed that way, finding Sue sitting on the couch, watching crime drama reruns on TNT. The baby monitor lay beside her, causing Bella to frown. She hated not being there to put Ben to bed. She gave Sue a smile and a quick hello as she crept into the nursery, careful not to wake the baby.

The curtains were pushed open and soft moonlight poured into the room, allowing Bella to gaze lovingly upon the face of her sleeping son. His lips were puckered as he slept, his hands curled into tiny fists. Bella smoothed his hair and rubbed his belly before leaning over the rail to place a kiss on his forehead.

Though she knew she couldn't spend every moment with her son, part of her wished she could. It was so hard to leave him behind, whether she was going to work or just making a quick run to the grocery store. She worried about the months to come, when her classes in Port Angeles would start. She'd looked into compressing everything into two days per week, only taking a few classes, but that would still add to her time away from her baby. He was growing so quickly and she hated missing moments with him. What if she wasn't there the first time he walked or said his first word? The thought of missing those milestones nearly broke her heart.

With another kiss to Ben's cheek, Bella moved back into the living room and settled down on the couch next to Sue, resting her head on her shoulder. This was a common occurrence between the two, the gesture a sign that Bella had something on her mind. Sue moved her arm around Bella's shoulders and gave her a squeeze, a gentle reminder that she could speak openly. There weren't many secrets in Bella's life, but she knew that whatever she confided in Sue, it would stay between the two women.

It was in these moments that Bella felt like a child herself, a teenage girl still struggling and unsure. Though she was thankful for Sue's presence in her life, she was still sometimes saddened that these were moments she would never share with her own mother. It angered her that part of her still wished Renee would change, that she'd realize the error of her ways and try to make amends.

Since arriving in Forks, Bella had been holding out hope, silently wishing for some sort of correspondence with Renee, but nothing ever came. Deep in her heart, she knew their relationship was probably irreparable, but the broken girl inside of her couldn't let go of that dream. Sue had been everything Bella needed and she felt guilty that she sometimes still wished for the comfort and reassurance of her own mother, comfort and reassurance she'd never really received until Sue came into her life.

"Where's Dad?" Bella asked, curious as to where Charlie would be this late in the evening.

"There was a car accident between here and Port Angeles. He got called out. How was the bonfire?"

"It was good. There were a lot of people, more than usual." Bella bit her lip, wavering on whether or not to continue with her line of thought, knowing that Seth had probably already beat her to the punch. "Edward was there."

"Edward from the diner?" Sue questioned, pretending she wasn't already apprised of the events of the evening.

"Yes, Seth invited him after he hauled his truck in to the garage. I guess they're friends now."

"And what about you and Edward? Are you friends now?"

"I…don't know. I guess. I mean, he drove me home and invited me out for coffee after work this week," Bella stammered, feeling the heat that was surely staining her cheeks a brilliant shade of red. Even her ears were burning with this confession. It should have been such a trivial thing—getting coffee with someone new—yet she felt as though this was the gateway to something more; that thought scared her.

Bella twisted her hands in her lap, fidgeting as she tried to find the words to explain how she felt. Even before James, she'd found it hard to trust anyone, yet with him, she'd made the mistake of letting her guard down. She was so down and out, desperately yearning for someone to make her feel special—to make her feel wanted. Though she knew she was never in love with James, she did love him in her own way and the friendship they shared filled a void in her life.

His betrayal had completely broken her already downtrodden spirit, her own mother only adding to her despair. But Forks has been a much-needed change, helping her to heal and pick up the pieces of her life. She worried about whether or not she was ready to try again, to put her heart in the hands of someone else. Her inner voice screamed at her to flee, to wrap her heart up and keep it safe. She knew she should be content with what she had—a loving family and a beautiful son.

Part of her, however, wanted something more. When Bella had realized she was pregnant, she had cast aside so many of her dreams, feeling that college, a career, marriage, and even real happiness were completely out of her reach. Yet now, she'd found that she could still realize some of her goals; she just needed to rearrange her expectations. In just a few months, she would be starting college, delayed, but still an accomplishment. It might take her longer, but she knew she would graduate someday, transitioning into whatever career she chose.

Did that also mean that there was a man out there that could see past her transgressions, that would love and care for her, treating Ben as his own? There was no guarantee that Edward would be that man, but there was always the possibility. How would she know if she didn't try?

"Edward is…really great, but I don't know what I'm doing. And I'm scared."

"What are you scared of?"

"This might not be anything, but it feels like something. I don't want to make the same mistakes I made before, but I think things have already started out on the wrong foot. I didn't tell him about Ben. I know I should have; I just couldn't get the words out. I didn't want to see that look on his face, like he felt sorry for me."

"Sweetie, it's not fair to him for you to keep that secret. He needs to know and it should come from you. And if he's really worth your time, it won't be an issue. I'm not saying it'll be easy, but at least you'll know."

Bella sighed in resignation, feeling the truth in Sue's words.

~ O ~

Later in the week, Bella was back at work, pouring hot cups of coffee and delivering greasy meals. The lunch shift had passed and the diner's patronage had lessened immensely, leaving only the pair of old men that came by each day to sip their coffee and talk about the weather. The constant rain left little to be said. Bella busied herself wiping down tabletops and sweeping the dirt encrusted floor. So engrossed in her task, she didn't hear or see Edward approach her, not until he gently placed his hand on her forearm, alerting her to his presence.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," he said as he registered the look of shock on her face.

"Are you here for lunch? Do you need a table?" she asked, realizing how silly her questions sounded with the diner practically deserted. She smoothed down her uniform and fiddled with the ruffled edge of her apron, trying to squelch her nervousness.

"Actually, I wanted to see if today would be okay for coffee?"

"Oh, that would be fine. But I won't be finished here for another hour or so."

"I can wait. I haven't had lunch yet."

"Grab a table and I'll get a menu. Water?"

"Water," he answered with a wink.

Bella walked quickly back into the kitchen, slumping against the counter as she tried to calm her racing heart. At the end of her shift, she would finally have her chance to tell Edward the truth. The fear of rejection overwhelmed her, but she knew that this was the right thing to do.

~ O ~

Rosalie stood behind the counter, watching the interaction between Bella and Edward with inquisitive eyes. Though it had been many years since she spent any amount of time with her old friend, she quickly realized that much about him hadn't changed. When Bella appeared through the kitchen door, heading towards Edward's table with a plate of piping hot food, Rosalie moved in that direction.

She sat down in the booth across from Edward without saying a word, watching and waiting. She wanted to see his interactions with Bella up close, to either confirm or deny her suspicions. Bella was easy to read, her emotions clearly visible on her face; her blush always gave her away.

Bella hesitated briefly before approaching the table, keeping her eyes downcast as she placed the burger and fries on the table. Finally lifting her face, her eyes quickly darted between Edward and Rosalie. Rosalie immediately noticed the blotchy pallor of her skin, the flush moving rapidly from her face to her neck. Satisfied that she was correct in at least one of her assumptions, she addressed the diminutive waitress.

"Bella, since things are a little slow, could you go and sweep around the back entrance? People have been smoking back there and throwing their butts on the ground; it looks terrible."

"Of course, Rosalie," Bella answered, sneaking a quick glance at Edward before walking away.

Having bought herself at least a few moments alone with Edward, Rosalie turned her icy gaze in his direction. She crossed her arms across her chest and simply stared at him….waiting. For several moments, Edward continued to eat his meal, trying desperately to ignore the heat he felt from Rosalie's penetrating glare. When he realized that she wasn't going to let him off the hook so easily, he put his cheeseburger back down on the plate.

"Well?" she asked as soon as their eyes met.

"Rosalie—"

"Don't Rosalie me. What the hell are you doing?"

"I'm not doing anything! I just came here for lunch."

"Edward, I realize that we haven't spent much time together over the years, but I know that cocky little smirk when I see it. So start explaining."

"What makes you think I'm not here for the good food and impeccable service?"

"Impeccable service? From the girl that dumped water all over you?"

Knowing that he'd talked himself right into her trap, Edward sighed in defeat. "Fine. I'm here to see Bella. What's the big deal?"

"The big deal? Are you kidding me right now? First of all, you do realize that she's nineteen, Edward? Nineteen, as in still a teenager, barely old enough to vote. Her father will kill you and I imagine the Chief of Police would know how to get away with it. I don't know all the details of her life, but I do know that girl has had a rough time for the past year or so. She doesn't need you adding to it."

"Wait—she's Charlie's daughter?"

"Are you even listening to anything I'm saying?"

"Yes! Jesus," Edward exhaled, running his hands through his hair. "We're just friends. I gave her a ride home from La Push a few days ago and we were supposed to meet for coffee. It's not a big deal."

"Just be careful…and don't say I didn't warn you when you're staring down the barrel of Charlie Swan's shotgun."

With her point made, Rosalie left the table and retreated back to the kitchen, leaving Edward with a head full of questions and not many answers.

~ O ~

After sweeping the sidewalks near the back entrance, Bella walked to her car, the gravel of the diner's back lot crunching underneath her feet. Digging around in the trunk, she was happy to find a clean pair of jeans and a t-shirt that wasn't too terribly wrinkled. She was thankful that she usually kept a change of clothes in her car, never knowing when Ben might accidentally vomit down her back or have something even less appealing leak from his diaper. She had no desire to go for coffee with Edward while wearing her polyester diner uniform. Satisfied that she had everything she needed, she went back inside, dumping her things in the break room before heading back out to check on her tables.

Bella entered the dining area just in time to see Rosalie leaving Edward's table, making no effort to hide her apparent hostility towards him. She felt her stomach clench tightly, suspicious that their disagreement had something to do with her. Though there was no bad blood between her and Rosalie, Bella was intimidated by the beautiful woman. Rosalie was her boss, not one of her friends, and Bella did not want to get on her bad side. As the two passed near the kitchen door, Bella expected some sort of reprimand.

"If you're finished sweeping, check your tables one more time and then you can leave. I think Edward is waiting on you."

Bella nodded at Rosalie, moving swiftly to check on the few diners in her section. She refilled a few cups and collected some tips, then approached Edward, letting him know she'd be back out and ready to go momentarily.

Retreating back to the break room, Bella gathered her things and headed to the tiny bathroom in the back. She quickly removed her dress, thankful to be rid of the scratchy fabric. Pulling on the outfit from her car, she stopped to look at herself in the mirror, trying to use her hands to smooth out the wrinkles.

Her skin was flushed and overheated, likely from the heat emanating from the kitchen. Bella splashed some cool water on her face, hoping to sponge away some of the grease and sweat of a hard day's work. Her hair had been twisted up in a bun all day, so she let it down, allowing it to fall around her shoulders, a sea of wavy brown. Satisfied that this was the best she could hope for, she grabbed her bag and exited the tiny stall, anxious to spend some time with Edward.

A/N: Thanks to lislar for her beta services, and to shoefreak37 and Alby Mangroves for pre-reading.

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