Blah blah blah. I don't own these characters.

Chapter 17: Confessions

Bella entered the front of the dining car, anxious to begin her afternoon with Edward. He was standing near the entrance, obviously waiting for her. She tried to remain calm, to not allow her excitement to get the best of her, but she couldn't control the bright smile that stretched across her face. She wasn't experienced in matters of flirting and dating, yet she couldn't help but think that this was indeed a date. James was the only person she'd ever dated and he'd made his intentions clear from the start; with Edward, she couldn't be so sure.

Edward smiled as she approached, but his posture was rigid and his hands were clasped tightly into fists. Bella's smile faltered as she wondered about his sudden change in mood. He'd been flirting—at least she thought he was flirting—with her as she'd taken his order and delivered his meal. Now he seemed annoyed, angry even. Bella took a deep breath, hoping to calm the paranoia that suddenly gripped her.

She could trace his change in mood back to his conversation with Rosalie. Bella worried her lip and wrapped her arms around her stomach, feeling like she needed to hold herself together. Rosalie knew little of Bella's past before she arrived in Forks, but she was well aware of the one secret that Bella had been keeping from Edward, the one secret that could alter everything he thought about her: Ben.

As they began the short walk to the coffee shop, Bella silently wished that Edward would put his hand on the small of her back, as he'd done after the bonfire. She yearned for his touch, a comforting gesture to ease her fears, but as they walked, he made no attempt to touch her. He seemed to be deep in thought, his brow furrowed as he mumbled to himself.

Halfway to the coffee shop, Bella chanced a look his way, worry and apprehension marring her face. Edward caught her eye and let out a long, exaggerated sigh as he rubbed his hand across his forehead.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I'm being rude. Rosalie just infuriates me sometimes. She always has."

"What did she say to upset you so much?" Bella asked, holding her breath as she waited for his answer.

"She's just the same old Rosalie—never afraid to speak her mind and always sticking her nose where it doesn't belong."

"Oh," Bella said, unsure of how to reply. "I really don't know her that well. I mean, we aren't really friends or anything. She's just my boss. Have you known her a long time?"

"Yeah, I was friends with her and Emmett in high school. We haven't exactly kept in touch over the past ten years, and she seems to think I'm the same guy I was back then."

"Ten years?"

"How old do you think I am, Bella?"

"I don't really know. I've never been good at that kind of stuff, but you mentioned before that you left Forks for college, so I assumed you were 22 or 23?"

"I'm 29. Does that bother you?"

"No, it's just not what I was expecting." Though it had never crossed her mind to enter into a relationship with someone so much older than she was, Bella wasn't bothered in by his admission. As a young mother, she'd always assumed she would eventually end up with a man several years older than her. Guys her age made assumptions about her based on her pregnancy, assumptions that simply weren't true. They also weren't looking to jump into a relationship with a girl that already had a child, a potential ready-made family. Even James wasn't ready for that responsibility and it was his baby she had carried.

"I'm only 19," Bella whispered, afraid that their age gap would cause him to view her differently, like a child.

"I know; Rosalie told me. You aren't like most other 19-year-olds."

Their eyes met and Bella gave him a hopeful smile, realizing that his comment meant their ages weren't an issue. He was right; she wasn't a typical 19-year-old. She had the worries and responsibilities of someone much older, and though Charlie and Sue had surely helped to lessen her burdens, she still struggled to keep her life in order.

When they reached the tiny coffee shop, Edward stepped up to open the door, allowing her to enter before him. Bella selected a small table in the corner, hoping to avoid the peering gazes of the other customers. She knew that this time with Edward was important, that it could define how their relationship would proceed. She felt guilty for not being entirely forthcoming with him during their earlier meetings, but she hadn't known that in such a short amount of time, his opinion would matter so much.

Almost as soon as they were in their seats, sitting across from one another, a waitress appeared and took their orders. Edward ordered a simple black coffee and Bella chose a mild tea, knowing that a bunch of caffeine would not be good for her already frazzled nerves. She picked at non-existent lint on her jeans before placing her hands on the table, lightly gripping the edge. How did she tell him that she had a baby? That James had abandoned them both?

"Have you ever been married?" Bella asked, suddenly hoping that there were some skeletons hidden in Edward's closet as well. He was older; it seemed like a logical question.

"No, not even close. I dated a lot in high school, but after that, I concentrated on school. I've had a few relationships over the years, but most of them didn't last very long.

"Have you ever been married?" he asked with a laugh.

"No," she replied, eyes staring at the flecks of gold on the white Formica tabletop.

"Bella, is everything okay?" Edward asked, reaching across the table to pry her hand loose from the edge of the table. He rubbed his thumb gently across her knuckles, silently waiting for her answer. She was looking down, her hair falling around her and shielding her face from his view.

"I have a baby," she whispered, so quietly that he was almost sure he'd misheard her. He heard a quiet sniffle before she reached up with her free hand, hastily wiping at the tears he could now see tracing lines down her cheeks.

Edward stopped his ministrations on her hand momentarily, shock coursing through his body. Rosalie had said Bella had gone through a rough patch, but he'd never even once considered something so life-altering. Knowing that she was only nineteen and working at the diner, Edward had assumed she'd just had some problem with going to college immediately after high school; maybe she couldn't come up with the money for tuition or wasn't ready to leave home yet. It was obvious from their conversations that she was very intelligent and getting accepted wouldn't have been a problem.

Bella was so sweet and kind. He couldn't imagine what she'd gone through to end up in that situation, or how she was even dealing with it all now. His shock turned to anger as he realized that the father must not be around; if he was, Bella wouldn't be here with him. What sort of man could do that—just walk away from his child?

"A boy or a girl?" he asked, his voice soft and low. He couldn't fathom how hard it must have been for Bella to confess this to him and he didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable. He'd never dated a woman with a child, but he wasn't opposed to the idea, though he was sure it would be an adjustment. He was a pediatrician after all; he loved kids.

"A boy—Ben."

"Do you have a picture?"

"Yes," she answered, reaching over to fumble in her purse. As she reached out to hand Edward the small photo, she finally looked up at him, their eyes meeting for the first time since she'd confessed. He smiled and gave her hand a gentle squeeze, hoping to convey his acceptance.

Edward's smile grew as he stared at the frayed photo of Bella and her son. She was sitting in a rocking chair wearing pajamas, her hair twisted up in a messy knot on the top of her head. In her lap sat a chubby little boy wearing nothing but a diaper. He had a small patch of brown hair on top of his head and big brown eyes that matched his mother's. Though it was obvious that Bella was tired, likely having been woken up for a late night feeding, Edward couldn't stop staring at the beautiful smile on her face. It was obvious that she loved her son very much.

"He looks just like you," Edward said, finally handing the photo back to Bella.

"That's what everyone says," she replied, a small smile finally breaking through all the anxiety and worry on her face.

"I don't mean to pry, but the father—is he around?"

She began shaking her head before he'd even finished his question. "No, he's still in Florida, I guess. We were already broken-up when I found out and his parents weren't happy about the situation. I guess he wasn't either, so they decided it was better if I came here, to live with my dad."

"They decided? What about what you wanted?"

"My mom, Renee, didn't want to help with the baby. And James' family wanted me to…get rid of it…so Forks was really my only option. But I'm happy here. My dad, Charlie, and his girlfriend, Sue, have been really understanding and helpful. I couldn't do it without them."

Bella and Edward continued to talk about Ben, time passing by quickly. Their drinks grew cold as they sat untouched on the table. Edward asked questions about Bella's son and she was happy to oblige him, though she feared that she was boring him with "baby talk." He didn't ask for any more information about James, and for that Bella was thankful. She'd only shared those stories with Charlie and Sue, and she wasn't sure she was ready to revisit old wounds.

"Rosalie mentioned that Charlie was your dad. I've known him my whole life. I used to go fishing with him and my dad when I was younger. I actually remember him talking about you, that you lived with your mom."

"You went fishing with Charlie?" Bella laughed, imaging a younger version of Edward out on the boat with Charlie, eating soggy bologna sandwiches and stale potato chips while they tried to catch The Big One. "Wait—is Carlisle your dad?"

"The one and only. I moved back here to work with him at the clinic. I was almost finished with my residency when Dr. Burty retired, so Dad kept the position open for me. I actually start working there in a couple of days."

"I guess that means I'll be seeing you in a few days." Bella blushed as she realized the implication of her statement: that Edward would want to see her again after today. "I mean, Ben has an appointment next week, with the new pediatrician."

"I can't wait to see you, both of you," Edward replied, reaching out once again to squeeze her hand.

~ O ~

Edward and Bella stood huddled together near the entrance of the coffee shop, unsure as to how to proceed. The weather had quickly shifted, the sunshine of the afternoon replaced with ominous clouds and swift moving winds. Fat drops of rain pelted the ground, splashing in the rapidly appearing puddles on the sidewalk. Bella stared out the window, hoping for the rain to abate but knowing that it wouldn't. This was Forks, after all.

Before she had a moment to protest, Edward latched onto her hand, dragging her out into the pouring rain. She gasped as the first ice cold drops fell upon her, shivering as they trickled down her skin. There was no time for her to think or protest as Edward pulled her down the sidewalk, laughing as he deliberately ran through the puddles, the water splashing his ankles and wetting his socks.

His boyish chuckles emanated through the air and Bella soon found herself laughing along with him. She mimicked his actions, stomping the puddles with great force, delighting with glee as the water soaked her shoes and the bottoms of her jeans.

As they arrived at the diner, Edward pulled her under the awning near the entrance. They stood there for several moments, catching their breath from the spontaneous run. Bella smiled as she looked down and saw that Edward still held her hand tightly in his own. It was a small gesture, but shared with him, it felt very intimate. When she looked up, she noticed that Edward was staring intently at their intertwined fingers.

When he raised his eyes to look at her, she was met with a blinding smile. His eyes twinkled with mirth, tiny laugh lines crinkling around the edges. She bit her lip as tension suddenly filled the air.

Bella felt the familiar tightening deep within her belly as a pleasing tingling sensation emanated from that point. As Edward gazed at her, she saw his expression soften. He moved his thumb lightly back and forth across the top of her hand, the tiny movement raising goosebumps up her arm. A shiver ran up her spine; the combination of his light, caring touch and the longing look he gave her was overwhelming.

"I had a nice time with you, Bella."

"Me, too," she answered, her voice sounding shaky even to her own ears.

"Do you think I could call you and maybe we could do this again?"

"I'd like that…a lot."

Edward pulled his cell phone from his pocket and punched her number in as she rattled the digits off to him, still holding her hand with his free one. It seemed as if she wasn't the only that was enjoying the prolonged contact.

"The rain seems to have let up a bit. This might be the best time to make our escape," he said. "Drive safe, Bella."

Edward leaned forward slowly, maintaining eye contact as he tried to gauge whether his actions were making her uncomfortable. She didn't flinch or move away, so he closed the distance between them, placing a soft kiss on the apple of cheek, lingering there momentarily. When he stood back up, he was elated to see that her cheeks were flushed a light pink and there was a smile on her face. He gave her hand one final squeeze before letting go.

~ O ~

Bella drove home in a hazy fog, a goofy grin stretched across her face. As she pulled into the driveway, she felt her phone buzzing in her pocket. If possible, her smile stretched even wider as she read the text message from an unknown number.

Will call soon. Have a good evening. –E

Her smile immediately faltered, however, as she opened the front door and was met with the screeching wail of her son. Bella rushed into the nursery, finding Sue pacing the floor and gently rubbing Ben's back as she spoke softly to him.

"What's wrong? Is he okay?"

"It's just a tummy ache. I already called Carlisle and he recommended some drops. Charlie's on his way from the pharmacy right now."

"How long has he been crying?" Bella asked as she reached for her son.

"He's been fussy all afternoon, but it wasn't this bad until about twenty minutes ago."

Twenty minutes ago Bella had been running through the rain, laughing with Edward and enjoying a carefree afternoon, all while her baby was at home, crying in pain. Her stomach clenched as guilt overwhelmed her. She paced the room with Ben in her arms, whispering apologies in the ear of her sweet baby boy.

When Charlie finally arrived, the drops helped to soothe Ben, but he still occasionally whimpered and scrunched his face up in pain. Bella sat with him in the rocking chair, rubbing his little bloated belly. Tears pooled in her eyes, the stress of the day weighing heavily on her.

"I'm sorry, baby boy. Mommy's so so sorry."

Memories from her childhood flooded her mind as she sat in the quiet room. She remembered all the times in elementary school when Renee would forget to pick her up, the hours she'd spent sitting in the office, crying and waiting for her mother to appear. Principals and teachers would ask if there was someone they could call, but there were no family members or friends to come to her rescue.

She remembered being sick and needing the comfort and coddling only a mother can give—but her mother wasn't there. She remembered forgotten holidays and birthdays spent alone in tiny apartments and run-down houses. Whenever she needed her mother, Renee was never there. Her absences from Bella's life could almost always be traced back to a new boyfriend or some scheme to wrangle one.

Bella had made a promise to Ben when she was pregnant, that she would always put him first, but when he needed her most, she wasn't there. Bella continued to cry as she compared herself to her mother, realizing that even though she swore she'd never be like Renee, she was more like her than she could have ever imagined.

She'd always hated the way Renee changed, morphing into the woman she thought her flavor of the week wanted her to be. Looking back, she realized she'd done the same thing with James. She was so lonely and desperate that she compromised herself, doing things she wasn't comfortable with, trying to be the girl she thought James wanted her to be.

It was hard enough now to leave Ben behind while she worked, but she couldn't handle knowing that she was out with Edward, having fun while Ben was home suffering. She had to put Ben first in her life, and in order to achieve that, she knew what she needed to do.

Later that night, Bella sat in her bedroom, quiet and contemplative. The baby monitor was silent; Ben had fallen asleep hours earlier after his stomach ache had subsided. She was reading one of her favorite books, yet she couldn't find the concentration she needed to enjoy it. Bella was sure she'd read the same sentence at least five times. She huffed out a sigh as she slammed the book shut.

Her cell phone began to vibrate, slowly dancing across the top of her nightstand. Picking it up, Bella sighed again as she looked at the name on the display. Edward. She squeezed her eyes shut as she flipped the phone open to answer the call.

"Hello."

"Hey, Bella. It's Edward. Ummm…I'm not calling too late am I?"

"No, it's fine."

"Good. I'm sure you have a lot to do, with the baby and all, so I won't keep you on here long, but I wanted to see if you'd like to go out to dinner this weekend? There's a new Italian place that just opened in Port Angeles and I'd love to take you."

"That's really sweet, Edward, but I don't think I can. I really want to. I just…can't." Her voice cracked as she finished, trying so hard to hold onto what little composure she had. "I think it would be better if we were just friends."

"Friends. Okay, yeah, that's…friends. We can do that." Edward sounded confused and disappointed, as if this was not the reaction he had expected. Bella couldn't blame him; she was sending very mixed signals, allowing him to hold her hand and kiss her cheek, then refusing his invitation for dinner mere hours later. She wished she could explain, that it was her and not him, but that explanations seemed clichéd and weak, even to her.

The line crinkled with static, but the only noise Bella could hear was the thundering of her own heart. She waited for him to question her, to ask why, but those questions never came. On the other end of the line, Edward was stunned into silence, wondering what had happened in the hours since he'd watched her pull away at the diner. It just didn't make sense.

"Goodnight, Edward," she whispered as she ended the call. Pulling her blanket over her head, she silently sobbed into her pillow, not wanting to wake Charlie and Sue who were sleeping just down the hall.

"Goodnight, Bella," Edward replied, knowing that she'd already ended the call.

~ O ~

Edward sat at his desk, reading over charts and finishing up paperwork for the patients he'd seen earlier in the morning. His first day at the clinic had gone well so far, even though his mind wasn't completely on his work. He kept thinking about the abbreviated conversation he'd had with Bella, wondering what had gone so wrong.

He just couldn't understand how she'd gone from laughing and smiling with him after their date at the diner to asking that they only be friends later that very same day. It was such a strange turn of events and he couldn't help but think that something must have happened in the span of those few hours, something that caused her to drastically alter her feelings.

Edward was startled from his thoughts by a gentle knock on his open office door. He smiled as he looked up to see his sister-in-law standing in the doorway, a bag of food from the diner in her hand.

"Hi. I brought lunch," Alice said as she wiggled the white paper bag in the air.

Edward began to move files and folders aside, clearing away the clutter on his desk. The smell of greasy burgers filled the air, making his mouth water. After Alice had unpacked their meals, the pair ate in silence for several moments. Edward noticed that Alice was mostly picking at the food, a contemplative look on her face.

"Bella came by the shop this morning." Alice continued swirl a fry in ketchup, not making eye contact with Edward. He sat patiently, waiting for her to elaborate.

"She seemed upset, but she wouldn't tell me what was wrong. I feel like it had something to do with you."

"I don't know what happened, Alice. We met for coffee and I thought things were fine. She even told me about Ben. But when I called her that night to ask her out to dinner, she said she just wanted to be friends."

"I think it's hard for her to trust people. She told me some of what happened to her in Florida, but I feel like she left out the really bad stuff. She's just scared, Edward."

"I don't know what I'm supposed to do."

"Just be patient. Give her some time. Be her friend, if that's what it takes. Just don't give up on her yet. She's worth it."

~ O ~

Bella stopped and took a deep breath before opening the door to Forks Community Wellness Center. Ben was nestled in his baby sling, cuddled against her torso. He was quietly drifting off to sleep, completely unaware of the tension that wracked his mother's body. Bella stepped up to the reception desk and hastily scribbled Ben's name down on the sign-in sheet, eyes darting around, looking for a glimpse of unruly auburn hair.

Aside from a few random text messages, she hadn't spoken to Edward since she made the decision that they could only be friends. He was probably confused, maybe even angry, but she couldn't blame him for that. She still desperately wanted to spend more time with him, but her wants and needs couldn't come first anymore.

The clinic was practically deserted in the early morning. Bella had taken the first appointment of the day, needing to get in and out quickly before she had to start her afternoon shift at the diner. After only sitting in the waiting area for a few minutes, the nurse called Ben's name.

Bella walked on shaky legs as she followed the nurse back to one of the children's exam rooms. The nurse took Ben's temperate, weighed and measured him, then placed his chart on the door for the doctor. For Edward. Bella's stomach was in knots as she waited and she suddenly wished that she'd asked Carlisle to continue being Ben's primary care physician.

Ben was on the exam table, happily babbling away as he chewed on his fingers. Bella gently wiped the drool from his chin and tickled his feet, causing him to erupt with a loud laugh. She pulled up his shirt and blew raspberries on his belly, laughing at the delighted little squeals that erupted from his tiny body.

Feeling another presence in the room, she glanced over to see Edward standing in the doorway of the exam room, smiling at the scene that was playing out in front of him.

"Sorry," he said. "You both looked like you were having a good time; I didn't want to interrupt."

Edward leaned casually against the doorframe. He was wearing dress slacks and a tie, the gentle blue of his shirt a sharp contrast to his bright green eyes. His hair was styled haphazardly and Bella could see the hint of a five o'clock shadow. Bella felt the nervous knots in her stomach loosen, slowly being replaced by a delightful tingling.

"This is Ben."

Edward stepped closer to the exam table, placing the file he held on the nearby counter.

"Hey, little man. How are you doing today?" he said in a soft voice as he picked Ben up and held him upright on the table. Ben immediately began to bounce up and down on his legs, one of his new favorite activities. "He's strong. Is he sitting up on his own, rolling over?"

Just like that, Edward moved into doctor mode and began his examination of Ben. He measured and weighed Ben a second time, then checked his hearing and eyesight. Bella told him about Ben's recent stomach troubles and Edward was quick to offer solutions for Bella to try. As she talked to him, she realized that not only was he a smart, attractive man, but also a caring and concerned doctor.

When the time came for Ben's immunizations, Bella found herself grimacing as Edward gave him shot after shot. There were a whole round of immunizations and his sobs made her feel uneasy. Once they were finished, she was shocked to see Edward pick Ben up from the exam table and hold him close to his chest. Edward rubbed his back and whispered to him, words that Bella couldn't hear. Ben sniffled and whined a few times, but quieted down rather quickly.

As she watched Edward holding and caring for her son, Bella felt a pang of resentment and jealousy deep within her heart—not for herself, but for Ben. For a moment, she allowed herself to imagine how different things would be if Ben had a dad, a male presence in his life to care for him the way she did. Charlie and Seth were both strong figures and would continue to be as he grew up, but they could never take the place of a father.

Bella stood there quietly, wanting to prolong the moment as long as possible. Edward continued to rock Ben, lulling him to sleep. As she stood there, she imagined not just any father for Ben, but Edward as his father. She imagined an older Ben, going on fishing trips with Edward and Charlie. And she saw herself with a family…with Edward, Ben, and a little girl with her brown hair and Edward's green eyes. She was jolted from her daydream when she heard Edward gently whispering her name.

"He's asleep. Do you want me to walk with you out to your car, so he doesn't wake up?"

"You don't have to. I'm sure I can manage. You probably have other patients waiting."

"They can wait just a few more minutes," Edward replied as he turned to make his way towards the entrance. Bella followed him through the clinic, carrying Ben's diaper bag, opening doors when Edward needed her to. When they reached her car, Edward didn't hesitate as he put Ben in his car seat and buckled him in snugly.

"Thanks, Edward," Bella said, standing beside her open car door.

"You're welcome." Standing there, Edward realized how much he'd missed spending time with and talking to Bella in the past few days. It should have felt odd to miss her after knowing each other for such a short amount of time, but Bella had jumped into his life and overwhelmed his thoughts. He realized that he wanted to spend time with her in any way that she deemed acceptable.

"I'm sorry about before…about dinner. I wanted to go, but Ben needs me."

"Well, you can always make it up to me now," Edward said with a smile. "How about we meet one day for lunch, whenever you're free." He knew that he was probably overstepping the boundaries she'd tried to set, but he had to try.

"Edward, I don't think that's a good idea."

"You said friends, right? Friends eat together, go to the movies, hang out…"

"I don't know."

"Just come. Bring Ben with you." Bella was surprised. She'd never even considered that he'd want to spend time with her and Ben.

"I guess that would be okay," she replied with a smile.

"Great. I'll call you." Edward leaned forward quickly and gave her a quick peck on the cheek before retreating back inside the clinic.

Bella drove home with a smile on her face, her cheek still tingling where his lips had been.

A/N: Thanks to lislar for being a super fast beta. I sent this chapter to her way late and she got it back to me in 24 hours! Thanks for shoefreak37, Alby Mangroves, and m81170 for pre-reading.

Reviewers get a sneak peek of the next chapter. Thanks to everyone for reading, reviewing, and rec'ing this story. I really appreciate it!