Thanks to my beta lislar for being a star and getting this back to me super fast. And to shoefreak37 for pre-reading and pointed out my ridiculous typos and making me laugh.

Chapter 21: I'm Ready to Learn

Bella's hand tingled as Edward held it securely on top of the table, seemingly paying no mind to the other diners seated nearby. He had chosen a romantic French restaurant for their evening, deciding that the more family friendly restaurant he'd mentioned prior could be saved for another time, when Ben would be with them. Bella felt extremely lucky that he not only accepted her son, but also intended to include him in their outings as their relationship changed and grew.

They were seated in the solarium, affording them a breathtaking view of the city around them and the twinkling stars above. Bella smiled politely at the waiter as she placed her order, excited to try something new. She had a hard time deciding on what to order, her eyes widening as she saw the prices on the menu, remembering the last time she'd been in a restaurant like this. Her 18th birthday. Bella was saddened by the memory.

At that time, she had been convinced that she could love James if she threw herself into the relationship and suffered through situations that made her uncomfortable. Now, Bella realized how childish and naïve those thoughts had been. Though she had cared about James in a certain way, her feelings for him were mostly born of loneliness and desperation, not actual attraction or love.

"Hey," Edward said, pulling her from her thoughts. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, sorry."

"If you're worried about Ben, you can call and check on him, or we can go back?"

"No, it's not that at all. I was just thinking."

Edward squeezed her hand and tried to distract her from the gloomy thoughts that swirled in her head. He spoke about work at the clinic, how much he enjoyed having a set schedule and no on-call hours. He also didn't miss working in a hospital ER. Most of all, he was very happy to be back in Forks. Though he'd lived in the city for many years, it had never really been the place for him. Finally, he felt like he was back in the place where he could blend in seamlessly and enjoy his life.

Bella smiled and nodded, replying where appropriate, but her thoughts kept returning to James. As much as she didn't want to talk about him, she realized that her relationship with him had dramatically changed her. Though she doubted that Edward really wanted to hear about her ex-boyfriend, she knew there were some things he needed to know if their relationship was going to go anywhere.

The warmth from Edward's hand caused butterflies to flutter in Bella's stomach, thoughts that made her blush rushing to the forefront of her mind. The only other time she'd ever been to a fancy restaurant like this had been with James and he had very definitive plans for how the evening would progress—and end. Though Edward was too much of a gentleman to ever do something so sleazy, Bella thought about what it would be like to spend the night with Edward.

She'd only had sex with James a handful of times and she really couldn't recall anything she had enjoyed about it. Even fooling around with him had been unfulfilling, awkward moments filled with groping and fumbling. James had been much more experienced than she was and she always felt like he expected too much from her. Bella had always been tentative and unsure when they were together, self-conscious about doing the wrong thing.

He'd never done anything to assuage those doubts, often huffing and pouting when she would pull away. James had been gentle with her that first time, on her birthday. She had anticipated that it would be painful, so she wasn't surprised that she didn't enjoy the act. After that, however, she thought things should get better; the pain was no longer there, but she never grew to want or desire James physically. Bella didn't think James ever realized that she wasn't as into their relationship as he was; if he did, he never made those thoughts known. Maybe he was just too self-centered to even care.

Though their relationship was new, Bella had thought many times about what it would be like to be with Edward in that way. The feelings she had for him were so much stronger than anything she'd ever felt for James. Edward was so kind and caring, making her believe intimate moments with him would be a completely different experience. She wasn't ready for their relationship to proceed to that level just yet, but as the thoughts continued to flicker in and out of her mind, she knew that she eventually would be.

Their first kiss had been soft and sweet, but Bella found herself craving more. Her dreams were filled with him, kissing her and holding her close, his hands moving over her heated skin. These new feelings and sensations were exhilarating and frustrating. More than once, she'd woken up in a cold sweat, almost expecting him to be lying in the bed beside her.

As the waiter arrived with their entrees, she turned her attention back to her date, wondering what other plans he had in store for the evening. A walk by the waterfront would be a romantic way to end their evening, but with the blustery wind and falling show outside, she doubted that would be possible.

Feeling overstuffed, both Edward and Bella declined dessert. Once the bill had been settled, he held her hand and led her to his truck.

"I didn't really plan anything beyond dinner. I thought that with the weather, we should probably head back home before it gets too late, and I'm sure you're anxious to see Ben. You seemed distracted during dinner."

"Is there somewhere we can go to talk?"

"I'm sure there's a coffee shop around here somewhere. Or we could wait until we get back to Forks and go to my house for a little while?"

"Your house would probably be better."

~ O ~

Bella was surprised when they got into the truck and Edward tugged on her hand, pulling her towards the center of the bench seat. He started the truck and turned on the heater, but made no move to begin the drive back. Instead, he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her into his side, kissing her temple. The gesture was reassuring, almost as if he knew that she was feeling uneasy about their impending conversation.

She looked up as he smiled down at her, the lights around the parking lot slightly illuminating the cabin of the truck. With tentative fingers, Bella reached out and placed her hand upon his cheek, gently rubbing her palm against the scruff there. When Edward's mouth descended upon hers, she slid her hand around his head, curling her fingers in the soft hair at the nape of his neck.

Edward slid his arm around her waist, their kiss turning from slow and sweet to heated and urgent, a mingling of lips and teeth and tongues. Bella scooted closer to Edward, pulling herself as close as she could get in the small confines of the truck. Her heart was hammering in her chest, the sensations overwhelming. Her lips were tingling, her stomach fluttering. She wished she wasn't wearing a dress, wanting to feel Edward's hands against the skin on the small of her back.

They eventually pulled away, both gasping and panting for air. Bella's face was flushed, her lips swollen, and she knew she'd never been kissed like that before. She tucked her head into the crook of Edward's neck, wrapping her arms around his waist.

The pair remained like that for an indeterminate amount of time, just sitting and watching the snow fall around them, the loud thrum of the truck's engine the only sound being made. Eventually, Edward pulled away, taking her hand and resting it on his leg, beginning the drive back to Forks.

The ride was mostly quiet, the old radio unable to pick up any local stations because of the bad weather. Edward made a mental note to have it replaced. When he didn't have to reach down to shift gears, he placed his right hand on top of Bella's, still resting casually on his thigh.

Once they arrived back at Edward's house, Bella felt the nerves that had calmed during the drive once again make a commotion in her stomach. Her legs felt shaky and weak as she navigated the slick spots on Edward's sidewalk. He walked behind her, his hand firmly against her back, ready to catch her if she made a misstep.

Entering the living room, Edward moved to get a fire going, the temperature outside quickly dropping. He asked Bella if she would like some coffee or tea, but she declined, knowing that the caffeine would only make her more uneasy. When Edward finally joined her on the sofa, her palms were sweaty and clammy despite the chill in the air. Edward noticed her distress just as soon as he reached to take her hand.

He wasn't sure why she was so nervous or what she wanted to talk about, but he wanted to make sure she was comfortable. He pulled the throw from the back of the couch—a gift from his mother—and draped it over Bella's legs, rubbing her back in an effort to comfort her. She looked up and gave him a small smile, so he leaned forward and kissed her, hoping to reassure her.

"I don't know what I'm doing," Bella said as soon as he pulled away, her hands knotted in her lap. "It wasn't like this before, with James, and I just…don't know."

"Ben's father?"

"Yes. Our relationship never felt balanced, but this is even worse. You're older and I'm sure you've… I know I have a baby, but I'm not experienced."

"Bella, are you talking about sex?" Edward cringed as the words left his mouth, not wanting to think about Bella with another man. Though Ben was the proof that she had been with someone else, there was still such an innocent quality about her, making Edward wonder why she'd chosen to have this conversation now. "Did you think—I didn't bring you here, to my house, for that."

"I know. I was just afraid that soon—later—you would expect things I have no clue about."

"Bella, I don't expect anything. Ben's father, he didn't force you, did he?"

"No, it wasn't like that. I had never been with anybody like that, but he wanted to. I wasn't really ready, but I thought that would make him happy, so I did it anyway."

Edward wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her into his lap, tucking her head underneath his chin, unable to continue watching her fidget and struggle to find the right words as she sat on his couch, trying to explain her lack of sexual knowledge and experience.

"I don't want you to do anything you're not ready for. I'll wait as long as you need me to. And if anything between us ever makes you uncomfortable or you want to stop, you just have to tell me, okay?"

"Okay."

"Where is Ben's father now? Do you keep in contact with him?"

"Florida, I guess. I haven't seen or talked to him since the night he found out I was pregnant."

"He's never seen Ben?"

"No. I guess legally he isn't even Ben's father."

"What do you mean?"

"After I gave birth, his family sent a lawyer up here with some papers. James signed his rights away."

She was quiet for a few moments, the memories playing back in her head like a movie. Bella hadn't thought about those events in a long time. The memories had always been too painful; though there was still sadness there, she didn't feel that painful stab in her heart like she used to.

"Even then, part of me didn't want to sign them; I thought he might still change his mind. But it was for the best. His family is wealthy and they threatened to take the baby when they found out I was pregnant, if I didn't leave. I don't have to worry about that now, but it's been hard. I have to rely on Charlie and Sue for almost everything. The job at the diner helps, but not nearly enough."

Looking at the clock, Edward realized it was nearly midnight.

"We should get you home before the weather gets worse, or Charlie shows up on my doorstep with his gun."

Bella giggled, but made no effort to move, instead placing her hand on Edward's chest, drawing patterns with her finger. "Thank you," she whispered, placing a kiss on the column of Edward's throat.

~ O ~

On Sunday morning, Bella attempted to sleep in, but found herself tossing and turning as soon as the sun peeked up over the horizon. Edward had dropped by the night before, asking her to attend Sunday brunch with the Cullens, an invitation which both frightened and excited her. Though she'd spent time with each member of the family on occasion, she hadn't been around Carlisle and Esme much and she wanted them to like her, to accept her relationship with Edward.

Edward had insisted that brunch was casual and that she had nothing to worry about, but Bella still felt nervous. She changed clothes four times, finally deciding upon a simple sweater and jeans. She dressed Ben in a little bodysuit with puppies on the front, bundling him up in the hat and gloves Sue had recently purchased for him. When Edward knocked on the door, they were ready to go.

They had to take Bella's car because it wasn't safe for Ben to ride in the bench seat of Edward's old truck, but Bella insisted that Edward drive. The roads were snowy and wet, and since she already felt on edge, she decided that putting herself behind the wheel wasn't the best option.

"I should get one of these," Edward remarked on the short drive to his parent's house.

"A Volvo?"

"Sure. They're safe cars, right? And besides, I can't always borrow yours. What if Ben and I want to have guy's day out?"

Bella smiled at the thought, not only because she couldn't imagine what a nearly six-month-old baby would do on such a day, but because Edward genuinely wanted to spend time with her son.

~ O ~

Walking along the cobblestone sidewalk in front of the Cullen's sprawling home, Bella felt like her heart was going to beat out of her chest. Her stomach rolled, making her feel queasy, her nerves getting the better of her. Of course, she'd met all of the Cullens before, but under much different circumstances. This would be the first time she would be meeting them as Edward's…girlfriend? The word lingered on the edge of her thoughts, bright like a neon sign. Was this how their relationship was now defined? They'd only been on one date—well, maybe two—but they'd spent so much time together in the past couple of months and now he was taking her to brunch with his family. What did all this mean?

Edward didn't knock when they arrived at the door, just opened it up and ushered Bella inside. She could hear voices carrying from somewhere to her left, likely from the kitchen. They stepped into a small room off of the foyer, shucking off their coats and wet shoes. Ben fussed for a moment as Bella removed him from his carrier, unhappy that his car ride induced nap had been cut short.

In the kitchen, Esme and Carlisle were preparing the food. Esme was chopping something on the island while Carlisle fiddled with the oven. Jasper and Alice were seated on stools at the breakfast bar, steaming cups of coffee in front of them. Alice smiled when she saw Bella, but there was no mistaking the grimace on Jasper's face.

"I thought I heard someone come in," Esme said as she moved around the bar and engulfed Bella in a hug. "We're so happy you're here." Her smile was genuine and warm, putting Bella at ease as she tried to avoid the daggers Jasper was shooting at her with his eyes.

"And look at little Ben! He's gotten so much bigger since the last time I saw him. May I?" Esme asked, reaching out to take him. Bella allowed Esme to take her son, though she was confused by her actions. It must have shown on her face as Esme continued to speak. "Sue and I have lunch together fairly often and sometimes she brings him with her."

By that time, Carlisle had made his way over, shaking Bella's hand and giving her a kiss on the cheek. With introductions out of the way and the food nearly ready to eat, all attention seemed to turn to Ben. Esme and Carlisle both took a turn holding him, laughing and talking as he babbled happily.

"I've always loved children," Esme said, "especially cute little babies. Carlisle and I can't wait to have grandbabies to spoil."

As soon as the words left her mouth, the sound of a chair scraping across the wooden floor echoed throughout the kitchen. Without a word, Jasper stomped out of the room. Esme looked to Alice, confusion written all over her face.

"I'm sorry. Did I say something wrong?"

"No, it's not you," Alice said, trying to reassure everyone in the room. "He's just been having a rough time. I'll go check on him."

Alice and Jasper didn't return until the food was on the table. Bella sat next to Edward, trying to settle Ben into her lap, but he kept squirming, making it impossible for her to hold him and eat. Edward took him from her without a word and she thanked him with a smile.

Conversation was stilted at first, the room eventually falling silent. Alice kept her head down, her face looking a little puffy, as if she'd been crying. Esme and Carlisle kept exchanging worried looks between them, while Jasper's scowl seemed to deepen as the time wore on.

"Bella, have you started your Christmas shopping yet?" Esme asked, trying to break the tension in the room.

"No, I haven't really gotten a chance."

"Well, I thought maybe we could all go together, just the ladies: you, me, Alice, and Sue. We could drive up to Port Angeles for the day."

"That sounds like a great idea. I'm sure Sue like would like that. She's been complaining that she didn't get much of her shopping done when she and Charlie went to Seattle a few weeks ago."

"You know, I had a great idea, too," Jasper said. "Edward, you and Bella should go out one evening with me and Alice."

"That sounds fine," Edward said. Bella had mentioned her problems with Jasper, which made him wary.

"Yeah, there's a new bar that opened in Port Angeles near the university I'd like to check out."

"Jasper, I'm not sure—"

"Oh, that's right. I forgot," Jasper mused, interrupting Edward. "Bella's still a teenager. She can't even get into bars. And there's the kid too. Don't worry. I'm sure there's a Chuck E. Cheese we can hang out at."

"Jasper." Carlisle's tone was calm and even, a distinct reprimand for his youngest son. Jasper just chuckled and shook his head, then left the table without another word.

"I'm so sorry," Alice said, swiping at the tears rolling silently down her cheeks. "We've been having some problems and he's just not himself."

Carlisle stood to go and find his son, but Edward stopped him. "No, let me go." He handed Ben back to Bella, stopping to kiss her on the temple as he exited the room. It was time to find out what the hell was Jasper's problem.

A/N: Sorry for being late this week. I had a huge deadline for work and the time just got away from me. I've already started on the next chapter, so hopefully this doesn't happen again.

Reviewers get a teaser, just like always. I love reading all your comments and theories. Don't forget to check out the thread over on Twilighted. Those of you that got the Nashville outtake (there's still time!), what did you think of Charlie?

Finally, I'm excited to be working with some of my favorite ladies on some Twilight vampfic awards. Nominations for The Vampies start later tonight, so be sure to check out the site and nominate your favorite fics. http:/twificpics[dot]com/vampawards

See ya next week!