Hello ~

It's the first time that I publish in English, and I'm really, REALLY, nervous. But I really want to share this strange and special text with you, because it is very important to me.

I understand english, but for speak... No comment n.n That is why Yukiko hyuga-chan has translated this text for me. She's very nice, so... Give her cookies. Lots of cookies :D

("You don't forget anything ?") ... One Piece is not mine. Unfortunately. Can I just have Ace, Sabo and Luffy ? No ? Sadness.

Once again, I am covered in wounds. My clothes are shredded, stained with blood and a nice cut runs along my face, if you forget about the numerous bruises all over my body. I'm sore but I keep walking on rapidly, step after step.

People turned as I pass by, sometimes making comments quietly. I don't need to hear to know they're thinking I'm a thug, stupid and violent. Sometimes, some even come my face to lecture me. Telling me to behave correctly because that's what the world wants. In those cases, I raise my middle finger and tell them to go fuck themselves, them and shitty opinion. As if I gave a damn.

In front of my door, I stop for a second, playing with the keys shoved inside the lock, making them click between my fingers. Then, I abruptly turn them and enter, closing quietly the door. I scan the room looking for a particular person. A noise behind me makes me jump and I swiftly turn around, anxious. I let out a sigh of relief when I see it's only Robin. There is no need to observe her carefully to see that she is dead tired. You probably didn't left her a single second of respite.

She's the only I trust to take care of you when I can't. When she came to take care of you, employed by that damn government, I spat all the venom of the world to her face. I won't let anyone take the risk of hurting you. She didn't back down and she found the right words to convince me to let her approach you. One day, I asked her what made her do that, spending hours taking care of a seventeen-years-old boy with a baby's mind who didn't know anything of the world, only the warmth of the maternal womb. She replaced a strand of hair behind her ear and smiled at me as she simply told me she understood. And oddly, me too.

The young woman greets me, closing her coat, ready to leave. Just before exiting the house, she throws me the disinfectant with her eternal smile, before pointing me a corner of the house. I thank her before rushing to this place to see you there, you my little brother sleeping on the floor, sucking gently your thumb. I softly brush a strand of hair behind your ear, before checking every corner of house, always keeping an eye on you.

It's out of question for my gaze leave you for too long little brother. For you who only sees your world, who doesn't understand the things around you, all is pretext to hurt you. The last time I looked away, I almost regret it all my life. Since then, I watch at each instant your very single movement, your every single breath.

The plug covers didn't move, the bottles of products are out of reach. Nothing dangerous seems to hang around. I check once, twice and a third time. Everything's fine. I let myself fall on the armchair with a sigh, and I open my phone before closing it immediately. Sabo is surely taking his exams right now. I would have liked being with him, rather than of having to do the jobs nobody wants. Too strenuous, not elegant enough they all say those assholes. And after they say it's society's fault if they are unemployed, that nothing is their fault. It's so easy to place blame the hardships on others.

I won't do that Luffy. There's no way I'll leave you to someone else. He couldn't understand. And I would be too scared that he would hurt you. Might it be specialized doctors or not, I don't give a damn. Even if I'm told I'm wasting my youth or downright my life by protecting you, I'll continue to do it, again and again. Always.

I see you waking up gently. You crawl a little and catch a cloth ball that lays on the floor. You make it roll slowly between your hands, your gaze lost in the void.
If mom was still here, everything would be easier. She has taken good care of us little brother. Sweet and loving, not caring that you were different. Always there to heal our every wounds and to hold us both in her arms. I remember that you used to play with her beautiful blond hair, and with mine too when you managed to catch it. But life's a bitch who can go away whenever. Hit by a car driven by a drunk guy. And that bastard got away with a fine.

I think that's when it was the hardest. Convincing them that I could take care of you alone, that there was no need to take you away from me, to lock you up and isolating you because you're not like everybody. Fortunately, even if it made me sick, the judge took pity on me. Poor kid now orphan who wants to look after his little brother she said. I was too afraid to lose you so I went along with it. And that's how I managed to keep you near me, precious little sun.

Dad ? He barely knows we exist. Especially you Lu'. As soon as he knew about your illness, he left like a scumbag. It wasn't his fault after all.

I, too, had some trouble to accept it. I didn't understand. I was a kid, barely six years old, when I was told that my adorable little brother won't ever be able to talk or live like others. That he would stay ignorant of this world and would live in the one he created.

I hear you whine and I hurry to see what's wrong. Nothing apparent. I stroke your hair until you calm down and you curl into a ball, ignoring me.

I go back to the sofa and turn on the TV. Always the same news. Murders, assassinations, accidents. Always the same crap in this world.
I turn off the TV when I see you getting closer. You stagger on your feet and you snuggled against me. Softly you whisper:

"Ace. Ace, Ace, Ace."

At first, I hated you, little brother so special. You had ruined my life, and brought me nothing, if not for mockery and pity. But one day, after I got into a fight in the streets after unfortunate words addressed to me, you had come to see me and had said, giving me the most beautiful smile in the world:

"Ace!"

The only word you pronounced in your life. Your only smile. It is filled with more innocence than all the one we can find in this world. It's from this day on that I no longer fought for me, but for you.

Because I love you little brother. Even if society wants me to reject you, me I adore you. More than anything in the world. Your smiles, just for me, warm my heart that threatens to break at any instant facing this corrupted and rotten to the core society. I'm so proud to be your big brother. I'll continue to advance and fervently fight for you, grown kid with black hair and an angel face.

You stare at me with your big chocolate eyes, as if you were trying to read something in my black eyes.

I can't help but wonder what you see when you stare at something else than me. Do you dream of magical adventures, with exceptional people? Do I have a place in your universe, I, the only link to the, no, my reality? I constantly ask myself about that. And often I find myself hoping to join you, to talk and laugh with you, to sail on the waters of your world. But I must content myself to watch you live far from me, and enjoy your rare smiles, so precious to me.

Your gaze is still planted in mine, still intense.
It's rare that you stay connected to reality more than a few seconds. So, knowing very well that you will never answer, I ask you one thing.

Tell me little brother...Your autism...Isn't it just another reality, more beautiful than this one, in which you have the intelligence to live ?

Thank you for reading !