..Chapter Three..
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"No?"
"No."
"Really? No?"
"Yes, really, no."
Pause.
"Are you sure he said no?"
Sakura frowned. "Can we both please stop saying no? The word is starting to become weird."
Sai furrowed his brow and frowned as they both walked, side by side, across the well known, little bridge towards team seven's common training area. His hands were dug into his pockets and his posture relaxed. He wanted to ask her if she was sure again, but from the look if her emerald eyes he surmised this would not be a good idea at all. He'd rather save the possible beating for training, thank you.
"It didn't even occur to me he would; refuse, that is."
"Tell me about it," she agreed, eyes narrowing. "Why would he?" she asked out loud.
Sai merely shrugged, not quite sure how to reply. He knew very little about Kakashi, much less about his time in ANBU. Generally such records were for the Hokage's eyes only unless you were privy to such things directly from the person.
He could see the wheels turning in her head...
Sakura didn't bother looking up to see the concern etched into Sai's features. Her mind was indeed working towards finding out some measure of a reason why Kakashi would refuse her. He hadn't even stuck around for her to ask why after she'd found her voice, after she'd regained her damned ability to move!
Gah!
She hated not knowing something which pertained to her. She hated facing the prospect of not being allowed to know why he didn't want to sponsor her. Was there something wrong with her? It didn't make much sense.
Sakura hated failing at something. She hated not being able to accomplish that which she put her mind to, that which she believed was within her ability to overcome. Granted, she didn't have Sasuke's eyes, she didn't have Naruto's overflowing pot of chakra and she didn't always find it easy to set her emotions aside as well as Sai... but Sakura was her own person. She knew her own limits. And she knew without a doubt she wouldn't even consider ANBU if she didn't think herself capable of success. Sai wouldn't suggest it if he didn't believe her capable either. He wasn't the sort of person to tell you you could do something if he didn't think you could.
Then what of Kakashi? Was it, perhaps, a matter of him thinking she wasn't capable? She didn't want to believe it. Kakashi was truthful to a fault, if you discounted his dry humor and punctual lateness. He told her many times over the years when she wasn't doing well, when she was and what he felt she needed to improve upon. Sakura, quite literally, held his advice in the highest regard only second to Tsunade's.
Which is why she felt so horrible about this. Why else would he tell her no? It was so unlike him. She could count on one hand, with fingers left over, all the times he'd ever said no to her. This wasn't due to Kakashi being a sucker for her cuteness, of which she denied she had; no, this was due to Sakura rarely asking of him anything she knew he would say no to.
Asking to see his face made up one of those fingers, but that was hardly relevant.
The real point was she could see no reason as to why he would say no. Even Sai hadn't anticipated it. For him not to see it coming was something in and of itself. It really was.
"You could ask," Sai offered, breaking the quiet as they drew closer to their destination.
"I wish I had last night."
"Why didn't you ask last night?"
She grumbled in a way that normally would of had Sai amused. "I would have, if I hadn't been so shocked by his reply. I didn't even have the good sense to move until about thirty seconds after he left." She didn't need to say he could have been anywhere by then. If he'd left with intent of avoiding her, of which she was sure, he wouldn't have been easy to find.
She'd left without even telling Sai of her departure last night, so confused and slightly furious at Kakashi. He'd been rather engrossed in whomever he was speaking to at the bar, anyway. She must of looked quite pissed when she'd walked out. Because no one, not a one of those drunk bastards, had so much as whispered in her general direction.
"Did he say anything besides no?" He was curious now.
She shook her head and stopped when he raised a brow at her questionably, trying to hide a smile. She glared at him, frowning. "It wasn't just the word, Sai. It was how he said. Everything about him changed. It wasn't even him."
"Hm.."
"'Hm', what?"
"Nothing, I suppose," he replied as he wound one arm over just under his chest while his free hand touched his lips in a thoughtful manner. "His actions don't make sense, to put it frankly."
She snorted, "Obviously."
"No," he said as he shook his head. "Think about it. If he didn't think you capable of ANBU wouldn't he just say so? Kakashi would have explained why he didn't think you were ready and then he would have told you what you needed to do before applying at all. Instead, he said, 'no' and then essentially ran off, right?"
She paused as his words sunk in.
"Something else is going on."
"Maybe... or maybe he just didn't want to deal with me. He does it to Naruto all the time. Skips out in a puff of smoke," she muttered.
"True, I could be over thinking this. But keep it in mind anyway, will you?"
"I will," she assented as they made their way towards the mass of flurried movements and destruction that was Naruto and Sasuke. She stopped about twenty feet away from them in the open field next to Sai. She lifted a hand to shield her eyes from the ass-crack of dawn early morning sun. "Feh...They never wait on us..."
He grinned, shoving his hands into his pockets. "We could always mess with them if it bothers you that much."
Her face lit up. "What did you have in mind?"
"Well..."
ooo
A thunderous outrage of splintering clear flits fell from the sky, causing many a man, woman and child to run for cover. Laughter rang out just as suddenly as a few shouts of vexation did also from open air vendors selling their goods in the streets. A storm was never good for business in an open that type of market.
A single orb of obsidian-grey glanced upward and through the window as village children mixed with Academy students playing hookey for a good day of play in the puddles. The smells leaking in from the open screen next to him were the same each time it showered in Konoha. A subtle hint of grass, earth and life all in one.
"Do you like the rain.. Ka..ka...shi?"
His eyes narrowed on a group of young boys as Iruka came out from an alley, having caught them and began to scold the whole lot.
"Do you, Taichou?"
His jaw clenched as Iruka led them off and back to the Academy.
A smile, the feeling of a comforting hand on his head, ruffling his strands.
He ripped his gaze away from the group as they disappeared from sight. His one good eye returned to the book in his hand, sweeping over the words with an unusual lack of interest. Jiraiya's words generally had him entranced, fixed in his own world while somehow remaining in the present. Today, however, they did nothing for him. The good plot ridden with mystery, manipulation, death, drama and trappings of sexual content barely captured him for five minutes at a time, if that. He was, at the moment, too lazy to actually time himself.
"You look preoccupied," a familiar, old, voice spoke out as the owner of said voice took a seat across from him.
He didn't acknowledge her. He didn't even look up from his book. In fact, he made a rather grand show of methodically turning a page, despite not having yet finished it at all. It mattered little. He'd already read the three day old book five times since it's pre-release.
The woman sighed. "You're being very callous to and old teammate, Kakashi." He barely watched as the violet haired, mask carrying, female with large eyes to match her hair tone motioned for a waitress in the small pub.
He listened as she rattled off her drink order and resisted the urge to sigh once he realized she would be darkening his presence for a while. He could try and lose her, try being the key word. But he knew such a feat would be in vain. Unlike Sakura in regards to her team, the woman before him was more than on par with him and had been for some time.
Very well.
He dog eared another page, one of many, and set his book aside while he asked the waitress to refill his tea cup of Earl Grey.
She smiled at him in a way that always reminded him of that oh, so innocent girl of long ago. She was hardly that anymore.
Hardly, he emphasized more so as he partook of his hot drink.
"It's been a while since we've spoken," she began while half holding her mug between to hands on the table in front of her. "You weren't this...abrasive the last time."
"I'm not in the best of moods today," he admitted. "It's nothing personal against you."
She raised a brow as she took a long drink. "Has something serious happened?" Her brow then furrowed in concern. Kakashi rarely became the equivalent of a dog on the verge of bearing his fangs unless it was serious.
Her eyes darted down to his hands. She could see he was resisting the urge to clench them. They looked near shaking. An age old feeling to reach out and comfort him surfaced. The flashing of a memory raced across her mind and her depths softened for him. Her heart did. Her lips pursed as she used all that she'd learned to hide that look as best she could from him. He wouldn't want to see that pity in her eyes.
She could see him fighting with himself to tell her. She would wait. If he didn't want to she wouldn't push. Not if...
"Sakura wants to join ANBU as a medical nin."
She blinked and did her very best to smooth out the surprise in her features. "Your female teammate?"
He nodded, eyes briefly shutting, then softening as they opened halfway.
"What brought that about?"
He quickly explained to her all about Sasuke, Naruto and Sakura's overall determination to not be a third wheel. When he was done he didn't have to look at her to see that small smile.
"Sounds like someone I once knew."
"It was different for you," he muttered, still not looking at her.
"I didn't have the same reasons, Kakashi. But ultimately the idea was to improve myself. Wouldn't you agree?"
He said nothing and she hadn't expected him to.
She sighed. "Men and women in this village join ANBU everyday Kakashi. If I recall you didn't have a problem with it when I took up the mantle."
Again, he said nothing.
"Did she ask you for your opinion on the matter? Is that how you found out?" she edged quietly.
He was quiet and she really began to wonder if he'd clamped up entirely for a moment. At least until he spoke out, softly, "She asked me to be her sponsor." The woman wasn't sure, but had there been a hint of a hoarseness in his voice?
Her eyes softened again, and this time she couldn't deny the strong feelings anymore. She couldn't hide the pain she held for him in her own eyes. "So... that's what this is about... You're not your--."
"Hows the tea?" he interrupted her and smiled a little too cheerily. "This pub boasts the best in Konoha, you know."
She frowned. "You're not," she said urgently in a hushed tone.
"I rather like the Earl Grey. Would you like me to order you a cup? It's fantastic with cream and sugar."
Her jaw tightened and she tried to force her anger down. Anger that wasn't directed at him, but at a man who... Her eyes tightened shut and old memories flashing across her mind. "Kakashi..."
"Drop it, Rin," he finally snapped.
At this she stood up and took her things. A wad of ryou was all but slapped onto the table as she directed her kind eyes and strong voice at him. "Look at it this way, Kakashi... If you don't train her, someone else will. Think about that. She wouldn't of asked you if she didn't trust you, damnit."
His jaw tightened but he refused to look up and meet her gaze. "She doesn't know what the job entails."
"None of us do," she said with sternness, kindness ever prevalent. The unit could never beat that out of her. Without much else to be said she left rather quickly, startling a waitress on her way out of the screen doored pub.
Kakashi found himself raking a hand through his silver strands, upsetting his headband enough that it clattered, face up on the table.
The sound was unusually deafening to him
His eyes shut painfully tight as he fought back tears and a long dead feelings of anguish and weakness in his breast; as he tried push it all back down and forget.
He opened both eyes and stared down at his own reflection in the silver, leaf emblazoned plate. He stared intently as the red, black and gray looked back at him naught but a few inches from his face. A cry of whispered pain escaped his throat just barely as he shut his eyes. His face was ridden in anger and frustration . He snatched the symbol off the table in a way that might make one think, perhaps, he dreaded his own reflection for a moment.
Perhaps a lifetime.
He replaced it hurriedly, in much the same way Rin had slapped the ryou on the table.
"No..." he whispered as he did so, "none of us did."