Wherein the character of some people is revealed to Teagan.
Chapter Nine
Those first few days following the eventful Landsmeet that heralded the arrival of the Cousland twins were tense ones. Those banns that had been raided weren't too happy with the solution, but as they were the ones getting the most aid, so they could hardly complain.
All the banns who had hired mercenaries had disbanded their soldiers in an effort to get assistance. While it was the barest minimum, even they got assistance. In light of this, no one could support an army of their own.
The mood in Denerim was positive and Teagan was hopeful that things could be resolved after all. If there were no further attacks on his land, he was content to let it end there. He had gotten back most of what had been poached.
Weeks passed in Denerim wherein Teagan found his days full. Eamon kept him busy with the politics Teagan had no love for. Still, if this would help solve some of the problems in the Bannorn, Teagan wanted to help his brother.
Bann Regina had been a marvel, organizing the accumulation of goods and their distribution, receiving pledges from nearly everyone who had surplus they could spare. Teagan spent a good part of his days helping her and had developed a new respect for Regina. He had previously thought her rather flighty, a beautiful face with no substance behind it, but he began to see there was a quiet strength there. She had a grace that allowed others to find their own nobility and purpose, and she did it all with such diplomacy that they never even realized what she had done. As he got to know her better he saw her earlier behavior as teasing, not really meant maliciously. When she let down her guard, she could actually be very nice.
For her part, Regina seemed to enjoy having Teagan's assistance or at least his company. He knew she probably would've done better without him, but again, that quality he noticed in her came to the fore and she made him feel his help was invaluable.
What rest of his time that wasn't spent working at restoring the Bannorn, Teagan spent worrying about Neria in Amaranthine. There was still very little news trickling down from the arling and it had been the largest holding not represented at the Landsmeet this year.
He had written her several letters mostly telling her about things that had happened in Denerim and the resolutions found. He wrote of how he missed having her there with him to talk to and his wishes for her speedy and safe return from Amaranthine. He managed to keep them sweet and casual, he thought. Instead, had she felt pressured by him? She had asked for space, that they only maintain an intimate friendship, but if she did feel pressured, she should say something. Anything would be more tolerable than this silence.
She had responded to none of them.
Teagan began to wonder if maybe she had given up on him and gone on with whatever Grey Warden business she had to attend to. He hoped if she felt that way, the least she would do was send him some kind of message, but as each day came and went, no word came with it.
He had heard that the keep was attacked by darkspawn shortly after Neria would have arrived there and all the Wardens in it were missing. But he had also heard the Warden-Commander had sent the creatures running, so as far as he knew, she was alive.
Then last month, news arrived of a violent peasant uprising at the keep that had been put down. This followed on the heels of an attempted coup from the banns in Amaranthine or perhaps precipitated it. The details were hazy.
Throughout it all, he only knew the Warden-Commander lived and had beaten every challenge so far. In the darkest parts of Teagan's nights, he would lie awake listening to the quiet around him and hold on to that fact.
She lived.
But following on the heels of that realization came the anguished question: Why the silence from her?
Finally, two months after the Landsmeet, the news came from Amaranthine. Vigil's Keep had fallen to darkspawn. While the city had been saved by the Warden-Commander with the help some of the soldiers from the keep and the city guard, there had been an attack on the keep as well. Casualties in both places had been high.
It was Ostagar all over again as Denerim anxiously awaited the news. Who had lived? Who had died? Those with families or friends in the arling gathered at the chantry to beseech the silent Maker for mercy.
Bann Regina had been a frequent guest at Arl Eamon's estate this spring. Usually when Eamon was there, the talk focused on politics and the relief efforts being organized. During this, Isolde would smile at Teagan in that 'long suffering bored way' she had whenever Eamon would bend their ears about such matters.
Tonight, Teagan wasn't in the mood to be sociable and he had spent most of the evening in the study, drinking a bit more brandy than he should have. He was aware of Regina slipping in to stand quietly near him by the fireplace.
"What troubles you, Teagan?" she asked.
"I wouldn't burden you with this, Regina. You have a lot on your mind yourself."
"I would be lying if I said I wasn't worried about Evan, but you also have someone you care for there, I know."
Her younger brother was a templar in Amaranthine's chantry. So far, no casualty lists had arrived, and like the rest of the city, she could only wait and hope.
"More than I thought possible," he admitted.
"But there's something else troubling you?"
He nodded, staring into the fire. "I haven't told her."
The small word from her was quiet and pensive. "Ah."
"There's been nothing for two months from her. I've written her several letters, but there's been no response."
Her tone was reproachful. "Teagan, you didn't try to tell her this in a letter without telling her in person first, did you?"
He chuckled. "No, nothing like that. I just wish she were here."
She moved closer, her hand rested on his arm.
"Perhaps she has moved on and doesn't know how to tell you, especially in a letter?" she suggested. "Though I don't see how she could have. You're a pretty tough act to follow."
He looked at her then as if for the first time. She was beautiful, true, but a lot of her beauty lay within, the strength and grace and a true nobility of spirit was present there. She was so close that if he took a deep breath, they would touch. The scent of the jasmine oil she used on her skin wafted to his nose. Her green eyes glittered in the firelight as she regarded him.
Were his heart not already engaged by another, he would have found her very tempting. As it was, he already found her too tempting.
She placed her palm on his cheek and leaned forward to kiss his other cheek. She whispered in his ear, her voice dropping to a husky note.
"If you decide your friend isn't worth this worry and aggravation, you know where to find me, Teagan."
Then she kissed his cheek again and stepped back, walking out of the room. Teagan watched her go out the door, his head fuzzy with conflicting feelings and brandy.
The fire was dying down and Teagan picked up a poker to rearrange the logs. He was poking them watching the sparks of the coals flare up and subdue once more. It was getting to be a bit warm now for fires in the fireplace anyway, he thought. He didn't know why Isolde insisted on lighting one still.
He frowned, his eyes lighting on something odd at the very edge of the ashes. He used the poker to push it the rest of the way out, then fished out a scrap of half-burned parchment. His eyes scanned the words there, his heart sinking. In Neria's hand he read, "…do not know why you haven't written me. Have you decided to…. I've heard rumors of you and another bann…. Please, just tell me what's…."
Memories came to him of weeks of silence from Amaranthine, of Isolde in the study with what he now realized was a guilty expression. Odd encounters with her during the day where she seemed…distracted….
A cold anger washed over him, sobering him. Angrily, his fist clenched around the paper. He smashed his glass in the fireplace and strode out of the study, his tread furious. He found them in the sitting room, listening to music.
"Bann Regina, gentlemen, please excuse us, I have something to discuss with my brother and his wife," Teagan said, his voice carefully measured.
"Of course," said Regina, seeing an ugly confrontation in the making. She followed the musicians out the door and quietly closed it behind her.
"Teagan…." Isolde began, nervously.
"Don't 'Teagan' me," he said, his words clipped, waving the scrap of burnt paper under her nose. "Explain yourself, Sister."
"I…I don't understand, Teagan."
"Teagan, what is the meaning of this? What's happened?" Eamon asked, concerned and putting himself between his wife and his brother.
"She's been burning my letters to and from Neria!" Teagan said, glaring at Isolde.
"I…Teagan, I don't…."
With a soft sigh, Eamon spoke. "Do not be harsh with Isolde, Teagan. I told her to do it."
He looked from Isolde to Eamon, his expression going from anger to hurt.
"You?Eamon, why would you do this?"
"I did it because you need to put aside this foolish infatuation and find a nice noblewoman to marry. It's past time to grow up, Teagan," Eamon said. "Bann Regina likes you, I can tell. She would make a fine wife. She's been waiting for you to make the alliance."
"I will choose who I will be with, not you!" Teagan said. "Neria makes me happy, Eamon and…."
His voice lowered as he realized the depth of his feelings went much further than he thought. He wouldn't speak them, not to Eamon, not in this mood and not without telling Neria first.
"Very well, I suppose you haven't sown enough oats with her yet? Regina looks to me to be more than enough for one man to handle but if you feel the need for another woman to warm your bed…." Eamon scoffed. "Keep her as a mistress if you must, but you will do your duty, Teagan."
"You will not speak of her that way, not after everything she did for you. You had no right to do this to me. I've always done whatever you asked of me, Eamon, but don't ask me to do this. I won't treat her like that. She deserves better!"
"This woman isn't family, Teagan. She can never be family, so don't push this issue. We are your kin."
"Family?" The word was spoken like a curse. "I see no kin of mine here. We are done, Eamon."
Eamon stood there, his face inscrutable. Shaking his head in dismay, Teagan strode out of the room, Isolde calling after him.
In the hallway, he saw Regina, who stared, white-faced in surprise, at him. In two strides he was in front of her.
"Were you part of this?" he demanded.
"Part of what? What's happened, Teagan?" she asked, frowning in consternation.
He waved his hand in dismissal. "Never mind. I need some fresh air," he said.
Outside, his head reeled and he was disoriented, looking round him in confusion. I shouldn't have had so much brandy, he chastised himself. Once the burst of adrenalin charged anger had left him, he felt the full force of his intoxication. He also left Muffin upstairs in his room. Neria would be so angry with him for leaving her dog. Maker's breath, she was already angry at him for something that wasn't his fault.
Then Bann Regina was there, holding his arm, and he leaned against her. "I'm sorry, Regina," he said. "I'm a little intoxicated. Muffin…."
"Teagan, how can you think of food in this state?" she admonished.
"No, Neria's mabari, I can't leave him here. But I have no where to go…"
"Come on," she said, putting his arm across her shoulder and helping him walk. "We will retrieve her dog. The inn is full, but I guess you can stay in my room at the Gnawed Noble."
Teagan wasn't sure how she did it. Somehow, Regina managed to get him to her room. Muffin placed himself as close as he could to Teagan, regarding the woman curiously. She pulled off Teagan's boots and tunic and helped him to her bed. He looked at her unsure of what to make of the pretty bann.
"So, now do you plan on doing Eamon's dirty work and seducing me?" he asked.
"Don't be ridiculous. Go to sleep, Teagan," she said, annoyance tinged with slight amusement in her voice. "Contrary to what you might think, this is not the way I pictured being with you, drunk and idiotically in love with another woman. Not my idea of romantic, even if you are the most charming and eligible bachelor left in Ferelden."
"Maker's breath," he groaned. "I have to make this right. What she must think…?"
"Well, not tonight, you aren't. You aren't in any state to go anywhere. Just go to sleep."
She looked at Muffin, the dog looked at her. Her eyes narrowed and she pointed to a corner of the room. He lowered his head and moved to the position she silently commanded him to take.
"Maker have mercy," she sighed.