..Chapter Six..
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A tension hung in the air. It seeped in from the walls and crevices. It roved over furniture and fell like a mist over every item in the room. The blackened aura didn't help matters much either. A darkness clinging to the room, darker than the lack of lighting, weighed heavily on the sole occupant.
His single orb of coal-grey narrowed on the garment on his coffee table before him. It was wrapped in plastic. It stung of acid and poison. It gave promises of glory and returned the wearer to nothing but a shell of what once was.
"Do you trust me, Kakashi?"
His vision spliced and serrated him like a knife as he blinked.
"Do you trust me, Kakashi?"
He shut his good eye tightly. His chest constricted. His heart felt rapid and bleating.
He couldn't move. His arms wouldn't will themselves mobile. His legs were stuck in place. His lips dare not open and his throat did nothing more but clot with dry, heavy panic. Was it a jutsu? Or his own weakness binding him in place across the room as he watched with wide eyes?
His hand tightened around the saki bottle, warm and yet unsatisfying in his hand where it rested on the arm of the chair.
A cry of confusion and outrage filled air as he watched on, unable to act.
"You're... what?"
"I'm leaving. Tonight. I want you to come with me," the older male said to the youth while the Kakashi watched on, unable to speak.
"You're want to become a missing nin." It was a statement.
"I want to be more. And I want you to be more with me."
"No!" The answer wasn't a hesitation. It was the heart of the shinobi who'd spoken so strongly. Feelings of betrayal etched the you man's voice.
Foolish, his mind whispered.
He watched on the young male was forced onto the mattress in the room. He watched on as he tried to fight. He watched on as his clothes, his uniform were ripped from his body. He watched as every attempt the young man made to free himself from the one he trusted most failed because he couldn't overpower him. Because someone couldn't save him.
Naive, it went on.
"Stop!" The cries started. "Please don't! Taichou!"
Kakashi swallowed a sob, succeeding this time.
"Why are you doing this?! Please!..Oh god! NO!"
In the crevice of his eye a blot formed, clear and unmistakable.
His cries filled the room and rattled off the walls. He watched on, unable to stop himself from doing so as the man relentlessly pumped into his seventeen year old subordinate. He watched as he lifted his face, pulling on the younger man's hair so the youth could watch what he did to him in the wall of mirrors across the room.
"Watch," the older male ordered hoarsely. "Watch or I'll cut your throat when I'm done!"
He tried to move, god help him he did. He couldn't fathom if the man was speaking to him or the boy. Perhaps both. Perhaps he didn't care.
A salty stain began to coat the edged of his mask as his throat constricted.
He watched on as tears coated the young man's face. His face was red and stained from his earlier attempts to stop his assailant. Kakashi couldn't tell if he was crying anymore... or trying to numb his soul to it all.
"Stop..." he whispered.
"Stop," the boy pleaded softly, begging pathetically.
"No more.."
"No more..!" he cried out painfully, his throat worn from his screams, his tears.
He could see, when the older male finally pulled free from him... the crimson soaking his abdomen, his softening cock, his thighs and partially his palms. He couldn't look away as the superior reached for his ANBU issue katana. He couldn't will himself to look away as the boy turned his head at the last moment, eyes hallow though begging as he brought the weapon upward.
"Tai....Taichou..." he breathed before the slicing of steel against flesh was heard.
There were no cries of pain then. No muffled screams. Gratification seemed to flash in his eyes, dim... and then fade as they closed and as his body sank into the mattress.
The older male stared down at the broken and used body for a while. And then... his eyes turned upward and flashed across the room.
Amber yellow met with coal-red.
He cried out as an animal in pain wrought with regret and stained in weakness. Glass shattered against the wall in front of him. It crumbled and echoed in the room before it chinked to the floor in a million pieces. His chest heaved and his face was soaked. Snot coated the inside of his mask. The trademark symbol of dark blue was nearly ripped from his features. For the first time in his life it felt claustrophobic on his face.
He couldn't breath. He couldn't find enough air to fill his lungs as liquid pain trailed down his face. His scalp felt numb as he dug his bare hands into his hair. His body shook. His insides quaked. In that moment more than any other he wished he had his mother with him.
He wanted her to hold him. To rub her fingers through his hair and tell him, as she did when he was a boy, everything would be well.
Nothing would ever be 'well'.
Ever.
ooo
Three days had gone by since Rin had been to Sakura's home. She'd spent her time working at the hospital, meeting with Sai for coffee and training with her team. Although, it was more like training with Sai than the team, she told herself as she rolled eyes.
She adjusted a large bag that held her books and papers from work over her shoulder so that she could take the keys from her pouch and unlock her door. Moments later she was entering the dark home and flipping on lights. Everything was dropped next to the door as per usual. Her nurse's coat was hung on one of the many hooks bolted to the wall. She sat down on the small bench next to her front door and unclasped her shinobi boots. A moan of relief was expelled from her lips as she set them aside and wiggled her toes.
She grinned down at them for a time before hopping up and walking into her living room. The oak floors felt cool beneath her feet and she briefly wondered if she'd set the air temp too high and never changed it before she left this morning.
Her eyes drew to the sun starting to drift beyond her window view. The light danced along her floor and furniture. It made her smile slightly as looked towards the clock hanging on her wall. It was now seven. That meant she had about an hour to get ready before heading out to meet her boys, Sai included, for dinner. Yamato had declined this morning after training, explaining he had other plans.
Today she'd told Tsunade--finally--of her change in position. The woman had been more than happy for her. Like Rin, she warned of the many dangers involved in the elite rank. And again, Sakura was not deterred.
With a final glance to the time she headed to her bedroom and opened the door. What she found there had her stopping short. She paused a few feet from her bed and her eyes narrowed on a square, bulging bag of plastic. It was clear and large.
As she slowly drew close to it she realized, slowly, what it was. A gasp escaped her as she lifted it and her fingers pressed against the material still contained within. Soft violent and ebony called out to her reverently.
It was her uniform.
As she was about to rip it open her eyes caught something still on the bed. It had been beneath the package.
A mask sat there, plain and white with the leaf symbol etched into the forehead. She wondered for a moment why it was plain; however, her attention quickly turned to a sealed envelope right next to it and she ignored the other items.
Sakura set down the package as she herself took a seat and ripped the letter open. A sheet of parchment was pulled forth and opened from it's formal folding. She began to read.
Sakura--
If your reading this you know by now you've received your uniform, mask and ANBU issue katana. Decorate the mask as you see fit and choose a code name for yourself. Chose wisely as whatever you select is what you are stuck with for your entire career in ANBU. They cannot change it once it's printed on file.
As for the rules...
You are allowed to forgo the mask when you are within Fire Country territory unless the mission specifies otherwise. From here on out you can wear the uniform in public or not. It's up to you. But, when you're on an ANBU class mission you must wear it.
Your missions are classified unless the mission states otherwise. Only yourself, the Hokage and your teammates are allowed to have knowledge of it. You will not speak of it to anyone else. Doing so is a direct breech of conduct and could result in your suspension, or worse, extermination.
At all times you will follow the directive of your captain unless the orders given go against Konoha, the whole of the mission itself, or the Hokage.
I expect to see you tomorrow at five AM for training in area ten.
--Kakashi
Her eyes narrowed on the words as she finished. Her hands dropped and her lips became a flat line.
When Rin had told her she should expect to see Kakashi for further instructions she naturally assumed she'd see him in person. That had been what the woman meant, right? So why had he let himself into her home and dropped them off? Not that she minded... Sai dropped things off all the time.
She sighed and fell back onto her mattress. Her bold, emerald orbs stared her ceiling.
Was he avoiding her?
Her eyes closed.
She did want to speak with him. And she'd left him alone in hopes that when he did finally come by to give her these things she would be allowed to clear the air. It's not as though she been the one to instigate it. She didn't understand his reasoning behind what he'd done, other than the need to scare the hell out of her. He'd done just that for a good five minutes into it. She'd been frightened. She'd felt violated. It had all been so sudden and she hadn't know how to react. Her mind had become blank of anything save the need to get him off of her.
He was her teacher, he had been anyway. It simply wasn't right, in her train of thought... was it?
He was fourteen years her senior. She'd know him as a child. He's trained her, guided her and cared for her in the manner a parent would. Surely it was wrong, taboo, for her to see otherwise.
But when she'd kissed him through the covering of his mask...
Was it wrong to have physical feelings of want for someone you'd know for so long, someone you had once seen as an adult; someone who'd patted your head, tended your wounds and kept you safe when you couldn't stand up for yourself?
She grumbled as forced herself to sit up.
It was really silly to think of this all right now, wasn't it? It was too much to take in. The kiss she'd shared with him had been out of anger and nothing more. All she'd been aiming to prove was that she was more than capable of taking whatever lesson he had in mind to deal out to her. She hadn't been thinking at all when she'd done it.
If anything she could see herself attracted to the mystery of him. He was cloistered, withdrawn and an utter enigma. He never spoke of his past, hardly voiced his future and strolled through life as if it were a joke. The idea alone that no one had ever seen his face--no one that was alive that she knew of anyway--was enough in and of itself to draw any woman of mature age in, was it not?
Like hell she needed to be lusting after another unobtainable man again.
She heard a clock chime in the background and gasped as she realized she had thirty minutes to get ready and meet her team.
"Damn! Damn! Double damn!"
With the speed of a cheetah she was dashing to her bathroom and hurrying to get ready. Like hell she would ever live down being late.
She could just here them now...
'Pick up a few of Kakashi's habits, Sakura?'
She groaned and hurried her pace.
ooo
"Do you remember what time she said to meet her?"
Sasuke sighed as he rubbed the bridge of his nose. The blond next to him was really trying his patience. While it was safe to say they were best friends, brothers more so, there were many times all he wanted to do was throw him through a wall because of all his questions. If they were even good questions, ones with some merit, he wouldn't mind. He wouldn't. But, usually they weren't.
Like now.
So he grumbled out tightly, "Weren't you paying attention this morning?"
"Do you want an honest answer or a sugar coated one?"
Sasuke blinked in surprise.
Alright, every dog had his day, he supposed. He sighed. "You weren't." It wasn't a question.
Naruto grinned in response.
Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Eight-thirty, moron. She asked us to meet her there at eight-thirty."
"Why? Do you know?"
Sasuke growled at his overall lack of attention span. "She didn't say what for," he replied tightly. "She just said she had something important to tell us."
Naruto grumbled. "You don't have to be so mean about it..."
Ok. That was it!
He reached his hand back, eyes shut while a vein in his temple twitched, fully ready to smack his teammate into next week.
"Whoa..." his whisper had him taking pause.
"Huh?" he asked stupidly as he looked over at Naruto's dumbfounded face. He stopped walking when he realized his friend had. "What?" He eyed him.
"Does Sai have a girlfriend in ANBU?"
Sasuke blinked. "Eh? What are you talking about? Sai and girlfriend do not go in the same sentence together, dropout." He crossed his arms over his chest as if to emphasize his point more clearly.
"A lover then?" he queried.
Sasuke's brow furrowed. "As if I'd know that. Where is this coming from?"
Naruto pointed just beyond him. With a sigh he turned in the direction of his point. He almost wish he hadn't. His eyes nearly bulged out of his head and at the very least widened for a brief moment as he took it in. There, across the way, holding a blank mask in her hand stood a woman. You couldn't see her face because a sign was blocking it from view as it hung from an awning.
He couldn't stop his eyes as they trailed up her form, starting at her toned legs. They were snug in a pair of black, sleek pants which tucked into her shinobi boots. Silver shin guards glittered in the evening lights over those.
His eyes drew further upward and noted the hard ass, thin waist and a tight midsection contained in the soft violet armored top. His throat tightened at the sight of her breasts, the curve of one half visible in the skin 'suctioned' ebony top just where the arm openings were wide. and her arms... they seem grafted to the long, elegant gloves covered in more silver guarding.
"Christ," he found himself muttering, scorning his fetish in regards to the elite rank's uniform on a damn fine body.
"I'll second that... you think he's fucking her? What... I.... wouldn't.... guh..." anything else he meant to say died in his throat as the woman stepped away from the awning with Sai, her arm slung over the former Root member's shoulders in a friendly manner.
Sasuke couldn't form words. Had he lost his mind?
"Pinch me," he ordered Naruto.
"I was gonna ask you the same," he replied numbly. He wasn't sure if he was more in shock over the fact that he had just been ogling his teammate, his very female teammate whom he'd turned down at least three hundred times before (until he lost count) she'd grown up and gotten over it... or because of what she was wearing and what it meant.
"ANBU is an elite rank, right?" Sasuke asked stupidly as they Sakura and Sai came closer to them.
"Last I checked..." Naruto replied, still looking as just as numb as before.
"Ok, good, just making sure I hadn't lost my fucking mind somewhere in the last thirty seconds."
Naruto managed a laugh. That alone was enough to make him hazard a smirk.
Sakura smiled brilliantly as she came up on them and stopped. She removed her arm from Sai's shoulders and beamed. "Well, I guess I don't have to tell you anymore." She turned in place once, still grinning madly. "What do you think? Looks good?"
Sasuke didn't miss the curious look from Naruto to his left. "More than good," he replied as best he could without tripping over his damned mouth. He really needed to get laid if he was thinking that. It wasn't often he gave any woman a compliment, but he felt she deserved it. She did look good. And he wasn't afraid of her molesting him anymore... although...
She appeared happy at that and turned her eyes to Naruto. "You?"
Naruto, despite having lost his boyish attributes, couldn't manage to hide the blush that ran across the bridge of his nose. "Amazing," he managed.
"Do we get an explanation?" Sasuke asked next, his brow furrowing.
"Can we find a place to eat first?" she asked.
At the mention of food Naruto returned to his predrool stage. "Ramen?"
"No," Sasuke snapped suddenly, coal depths turning to him with vexation. "I've eaten that drivel with you every day at lunch for a week now. And three times when we had dinner. I'm not eating anything even remotely resembling a soupy substance tonight. At all."
Sakura chuckled and Sai smiled next to her.
"I was thinking barbecue actually... if that's alright," Sasuke edged.
"Trust me," Sasuke muttered, his gaze leveling on her own, "anything is better than Ramen at this point."
A few chuckles, a smirk and grumble from the four and they were off to Sakura's selected dine in joint for the night. They ordered drinks, enjoyed the food and Sakura explained how she went about the whole damned thing. Of course Sai gave her a few looks when she left out certain pieces. Those pieces most including Kakashi's behavior and the finer details of being an ANBU agent. Like hell they needed to know about that... she could just imagine the looks she'd be receiving.
To her guys... she would always be that twelve year old teammate in too many ways; one of the bigger ways including the state of her chastity. Sai understood. She wasn't close enough with Yamato to know if he'd care. But Sasuke and Naruto?
She suppressed a sigh as the guys chatted without her.
Sasuke himself she didn't really know, but she wasn't going to risk it. Naruto would freak out for sure. His eyes would look at her with pity and he would beg her to change her mind. Yes, her blond buddy would never understand her choice and why she wanted to do this, consequences be damned.
She'd rather not tell him at all and let him look at her with awe and support. She wasn't selfish... but she at least had that much pride. She could do this to herself. But what she couldn't bear to have was her friends look at her with anything but the upmost respect. She wouldn't shatter that for Naruto. Not for anything in the world.
Sakura gazed at the clock in the dinner, noting it was about eleven at night. She frowned. If she didn't head home now she doubted she'd be able to get up before five AM. She wasn't the best morning person, despite what everyone liked to think about her.
She stood up and addressed the men before her. "Sorry guys, but I need to go. I have to meet with Kakashi-sensei and five in the morning. But, thanks for spending time with me."
Naruto nodded. "Yeah, no telling how busy you'll be now."
"I'll walk you home," Sasuke offered, moving to stand.
Sakura raised a brow as she starred over at him while adjusting the katana on her back. "You sure?" She smirked at his looked of 'If I weren't why would I offer?'. She shrugged it off and turned to the other two at the table as she dropped her money for the meal. "See you guys then. I'll come by as soon as my session is over, Sai."
The pale skinned male did nothing more than nod as she left.
She jogged on afterward to catch up with Sasuke as they left the restaurant together. She easily fell in step with him as they headed back towards her home. And as she stuffed her hands into her pockets she noted the quiet of the evening. Few people were out and about, and many of them shinobi going home or men out drinking.
It had been a long time since she'd been alone in the presence of the sole Uchiha on her team. She could hardly recall any in the last year before now. It was quite odd, his offering to take her home. Sakura had long ago gotten herself use to the idea that he would just never love her. And in the year he'd been gone she'd used that time to get over him in the most purely physical way possible with the most unlikely of people possible.
Abrume Shino.
It hadn't exactly been planned. But it hadn't been without thought or under the influence of alcohol. For that she was glad. It had just happened...
They'd been out on a mission together, their first solo without their respective teams. It had been something stupidly simple assigned by her Shishou to get her out of the village and off of work. She'd been torn up over Sasuke's departure and dumping far too much of it on herself to keep her mind off of her own heartache.
He didn't talk much, or so she assumed. Or maybe it was that he'd been assigned to a loud teammate like her, and another who spoke so little it was impossible to start a conversation. She didn't know, really.
They hadn't spoken more than a few words to one another the first day and night. The second day had gone much the same way. But, by the third evening she found herself, without much to do, thinking a tad too much about the Uchiha. She'd looked across the firelight at him. He'd taken off his shades, revealing coal eyes to her and she'd broken down. He'd come to her then, surprisingly sensitive to her fears and pain. At first he'd just comforted her. But she became weak and in that given in to so much more. He hadn't stopped her and she wouldn't of asked either way.
All he'd ever said about it, even the times they come together after the mission, was that he'd be there of she needed him. He never told anyone and neither did she.
Sakura had had other conquests that weren't nearly as emotional as Shino. Working all day left one wanting more, feeling like one needed to release stress and tension. Sex did that for her. It washed away her sleeplessness, her anxiousness and relaxed her on nights she couldn't find the ability to.
But, whenever she was feeling especially weak... she still called him.
"Sakura?" she heard Sasuke say next to her as they stopped at the door of her small home.
She looked up and over at him, raising a brow. "Yes?"
The look on his features was confusing, as he didn't express much other than irritation more often than naught. It amazed her someone like Sasuke wanted to suppress his emotions so deeply when someone like Sai wanted just the opposite.
Still, his eyes always told her more... just like Kakashi, she realized.
Yes, she was doomed to want men she would never have.
"Itachi was ANBU," he said softly, as if trying to say something. As he stepped closer to her she found herself freezing on spot.
What...?
He leaned in close to her, his eyes incredibly revealing in that moment. The emotion, the raw feeling pouring from her former love, left her a little weak in the knees. She might not love him anymore, but that certainly didn't remove the physical attraction.
"I want you to know," he whispered, placing his hand on the wall of her house as he towered over her, not intimidating her in the least. She had a feeling that wasn't his intention. "I know what it means... Duty before honor. I won't judge you... but if you need me..." he let it hang on that.
Her eyes widened slightly at his admission. If she... needed him... His words sunk in and she immediately understood what he was trying to say. A small smile touched her lips. "Thank you, Sasuke. I..." She hadn't expected him to know. He'd been very young when Itachi had joined ANBU. She couldn't imagine the older Uchiha, even at that age, doing the things she was barely managing to prepare herself for now.
"Thank you for understanding... I'll keep the offer in mind." Seven years ago she would have been dragging him into her home right then and there. Hell, she would of now. The attraction wasn't lost. Only the emotion behind it. It would be incredibly easy to fall into his arms, his embrace for one night with no strings attached.
"Goodnight, Sakura," he murmured as he ghosted a kiss across her forehead and swiftly turned, making his departure.
"Yes," she muttered to herself as she watched his back, "impossibly unobtainable men... you got that right, Sakura." As she went inside, she half wondered if by the time Kakashi made such an offer he'd do the same thing--walk away and leave her wondering if he had been wondering of what could have been
Then she laughed to herself.
The day Hatake Kakashi even thought of falling in love with her would the day hell froze over.