..Chapter Ten..
..
.
..
The sky was brilliantly lit up with a million amazing lights and her eyes, green and expansive, couldn't help but be drawn up towards it. She soaked in the cool night air as it pressed over her skin, the air floating behind her with each hurried step across a branch.
They hadn't been traveling long. Perhaps an hour or more. It wouldn't too far off before they reached Mystic Falls, the town where the Luna Lounge and her client awaited them. She estimated if they kept up this light travel they wouldn't need to rest and would arrive come morning; albeit early.
However, when Kakashi, who was directly in front of her, came to a stop and dropped down near the edge of the forest she was a tad confused. Still, she dropped down with him a second or two later and followed him silently as he walked out of the brush and towards a road.
"Isn't it a bad idea for us to travel on the roads, sensei?" She stared on at his back as it hunched slightly, reforming back to that lazy stance of one with less than a care in the world.
They were in no real danger, truthfully. It wasn't out of the ordinary for a regular team to travel on the roads. But, since being in ANBU she'd grown highly accustomed to hiding her trail, her scent and her very existence from those who might find them. All of this she'd learned from Kakashi in the last few months of rigorous, hard, brutal training.
"No," he replied as they came over the peaking hill in the road.
Her brow furrowed at the lack of information as she fell in step with him. Her eyes drew on ahead and she quickly realized they were heading towards a town. By her estimation it couldn't be Mystic Falls. She briefly wondered why they were going through this town, on the road, out in the open, when they could just as easily go around it through the forest.
"Sensei--."
"Are you hungry?" he asked as they drew closer, interrupting her.
She paused and considered the unusual question. She supposed she could stand something to eat. She'd skipped dinner to meet with Tsunade and left right away after the meeting. It was now well past ten o'clock at night at the very least.
"I.. guess," she replied.
"Tired?" he asked secondly.
She blinked as she looked over at him. Tired? Well, she supposed she was tired. When she wasn't on a mission her hours were early to bed and early to rise. She was at least two or less hours past her normal bedtime. But, missions were missions and she just ignored her normal sleeping habits while on them. ANBU had to adapt and overcome.
"Um... sure.." she said hesitantly, curiosity in her voice. But, instead of explaining, all her sensei did was nod his head and continue on down the path.
Months ago she would have been frustrated and irritated by his evasive behavior. But, these days all she did was shrug and continue on. It didn't do much good to pester him, for eventually he'd clamp up altogether and say nothing to her. Who in the hell really knew what went on in his head while he wore that uniform. He certainly wasn't the man she'd grown up knowing. And he hadn't been since that morning he'd tried to convince her not to join ANBU.
As they entered the small town they passed a few merchants by who were still cleaning up from the later evening. Some of them bowed their heads respectfully in response their their uniforms, most did; but, fewer still just shuffled on without so much as a hello. It was Fire Country to be sure. Some people respected shinobi for the protection they provided and some outright hated them for the wars they'd brought on the lands from years before. Sakura's heart inadvertently went out to them, the ones who'd festered feelings of hate because of the pain, the loss, they had experienced over the wars their loved ones had become tangled in by just existing.
She stopped as she sensed Kakashi do so. She followed the direction of his eyes turning to a small eatery that still appeared to be open. Without questioning, she followed him towards the establishment.
"We'll order take out and get a room for the night," was all he said.
She did nothing more than nod as she walked past him, as he held the door open for her to go in first.
Few customers littered here and there, sitting quietly in booths or at tables chatting about while they nursed a bottle of sake or some other alcoholic beverage. She leaned against the counter as Kakashi stood before it, waiting for an employee. Now that they'd finally stopped moving for a while and she had a moment to relax her senses, she quickly realized she was rather tired.
An elderly man came up to greet Kakashi, "Here or to go?"
"To go."
The balding man nodded as he handed both of them a menu. "Do you need some time?"
"Only a moment or two. Sakura?" he asked her.
Sakura shook her head as she scanned the menu. "Nope, I'll take the number two with a lemonade." She handed the menu back as Kakashi rattled off his order.
"Well, it'll be about fifteen minutes. You can wait over by the door on the bench or take a seat in one of the booths. We can give your drinks now, if you'd prefer."
"I'll wait," Kakashi responded about the drink.
"I'll take mine now," Sakura replied with a grin.
The elderly man nodded and went to work. As soon as Sakura had her styrafoam encased beverage with a straw they both moved to take a seat at the booth nearest to the door. Silence seemed to echo on like normal as Sakura stared out the window. But, it wasn't uncomfortable or abnormal. This was usually the way it went.
Still...
She turned back to him as she grasped her drink in both hands on the table. "Say, why did we stop?"
He raised a brow.
"Well, its not like we had to, ya know. It's only twenty miles from Konoha, sensei. We hardly need the rest or the food. We handled much worse travel with far more ease and quickness."
He didn't answer right away and she wasn't expecting him to. She could tell he was fighting for the right way to answer the question or, at least what he felt was the right answer.
"Are you in a hurry?" he asked quietly.
"Well..." now she wasn't sure how to answer. "..No, not really."
"We don't have a set time to be there, Sakura," he said still in that same quiet voice.
She nodded. "Yes, I know... but it's never good to keep a client waiting." He'd taught her that.
He shrugged, as if it didn't matter. "A good rest and some good food will do you good. Or," he muttered, "would you rather be ragged, tired and hungry when you greet the woman who's husband you're expected to seduce?"
She couldn't be too sure, but she thought perhaps she'd senses a bitterness laced in his tone. Her lips parted only slightly and she looked down at her drink. She really didn't know what to say to him. She hardly ever did anymore, to be truthful.
The Kakashi she'd once known as a child had always been happy, charismatic, however stern when he was required to be. He always knew when to say the right thing and when not to say the wrong ones. He dealt with each of his students with an amazing amount of calm and patience. She'd never been the best student, but then he could hardly be blamed for that, she supposed.
She'd been horribly boy-crazy over Sasuke at the time. It had taken her years to get over it and find comfort in someone else. It had taken time for her to realize that sometimes sex didn't always need to to happen when love was involved. And having sex with someone you didn't love didn't make you a whore or a slut. It just made you more human.
She'd grown up a lot in the past few years. She liked to think she had a sense of maturity and grace about her. She wasn't like the average woman her age--least of all like Ino; who, adored makeup, male attention and parties. But, she thought of herself as well rounded and good at her career. She wouldn't be where she was if she wasn't determined.
Kakashi... well, since she and the boys had turned sixteen he'd made himself more and more scarce. He was still himself, of course. How could he be anyone else but her porn-reading, eccentric, one-eyed, Copy Nin Kakashi-sensei?
Although, since joining his team on ANBU he'd turned even more recluse. He'd made himself out to be as reserved and withdrawn as she'd once known Sasuke to be. Actually, worse, if one could imagine it. He hardly spoke and only did so when he needed to for the mission or during training to reprimand her on her form. He hardly ever spoke words of praise; which, is why she'd been so surprised by Tsunade's comment. When they stopped to break like this? Silence always echoed on. When they shared a room to save on funds? He always took the floor or requested another bed. When they ate together, he either ate alone or she simply turned her back to him to avoid being without someone there. She still didn't understand why he didn't want her to see his face, after all this time; however, she respected his abundant privacy.
Was every ANBU team like this? Quiet, private and reserved? It made her wonder. It made her think it it was so. There could be no other explanation as to why he acted like black and white in the two uniforms. Because, whatever had transpired between the two of them that morning long ago was gone, as far as she could tell. All he'd been trying to do was teach her a lesson and nothing more. There couldn't be more, after all; not for someone as trained and deliberative with his actions as her sensei.
The only time she'd ever, with crude confirmation, seen him lose his control was the first day he'd taught her swordsmanship.
Sakura was good at reading people... so, was there a chance perhaps there was something more to his crass, cool behavior than a mere uniform change? He was a man and she wasn't a little girl anymore. That much had been verified by the reaction her guys had to her in her uniform months prior... but, lust was one thing; a thing which could be dismissed and controlled. The doctor in her knew so. The woman, the girl who was no more, knew it to be so with Kakashi. If his porn reading habits were any indication to his abundance of control in sex related topics and lust, then yes, he was very controlled.
There was no way in hell her sensei could want more. If he did, it was just lust. And he would never ruin their relationship with lust. He was just that kind of man. One only had to be in presence for an hour and have a good eye to know that much.
Still... the woman in her hadn't stopped her from thinking about it. But, that's was all it was. A fantasy. It was natural and healthy to have fantasies. And she supposed it was better to have them about good men than ones who were easily obtainable and no good for her, right? Was it not natural for one with 'hero worship' in regards to one you looked up to, to want them in that way?
"Here you go," a waitress spoke up next to the table, breaking her train of thought. She vaguely heard her rattle off the amount due. She stood and took the plastic bag of food packed in styrafoam boxes while Kakashi paid.
It wasn't long after that they headed across the street to a clean looking hotel. Not too expensive, but not too shabby either. Not waiting for him to take charge, and feeling like she needed to pay for something since he bought dinner and stopped on her behalf, Sakura walked up and got their room.
"You didn't have to do that," he mumbled while they took the stairs up. "It was my idea to stop."
She shrugged and smiled softly. "You paid for dinner. I figured I'd cover the night at the hotel."
He said nothing to this at they reached the top. But, he did take the key from her so he could open the door and let her in since her hands were full of bagged food.
The room wasn't great. But, thankfully it had two full sized beds and a small table to eat at. It also had a closet and a single dresser they wouldn't be around long enough to use. She smiled gratefully at the shower as she set the bags on the small table. The click behind her signaled Kakashi had shut the door.
She dropped her backpack on the floor next to the bed she would claim as hers before she swiftly removed her sandals. She wiggled her toes customarily for a moment. The smell of food quickly drew her attention back to her hunger and she got up and moved over to the table. She sat after concluding, with a quick peek, which box was hers. She got some chopsticks and her drink and settled down to munch.
It was after a few bites she realized Kakashi wasn't eating. In fact, he was just sitting there, staring at his open box of food, as if lost in the space of his thoughts. She slowly chewed her food and tried to figure out what could be stopping him. But then, naturally it dawned on her.
"Kami, I'm sorry," she mumbled, feeling like an idiot. She swallowed her bite monotonously and moved to close her box. She felt hurried and hastened as she started to stand up next to him. "I'll just go get a shower so you can eat--."
Her breath came short and she stopped and he suddenly latched onto her wrist. She looked down at him, not fully sure of how to react. He was still staring down at his open tray of food. He hadn't seemed to break his haze at all. She was more than a little perplexed. Kakashi never voluntarily touched her outside of training.
Ever.
"Sensei?" she asked softly in question.
"How long have we been teammates?" he asked tonelessly.
She blinked. "Well... do you mean ANBU, before... or both?"
"Both," he said without hesitation.
She had to stop and think about it. "Well... over five years, give or take a few when one of us was on sick leave or while I was working with Shishou..." She continued to stare down at him. "Why?" She normally didn't ask why he asked her things. He rarely ever gave her an explanation.
He surprised her when he said, "Perhaps that's long enough then."
"I'm sorry?" she queried again.
He looked up at her then, his one good eye finding her own two depths of endless sea green. He still hadn't released her wrist, but somehow she hardly noticed the contact now.
"Would you prefer to eat alone?" he asked.
She narrowed her eyes in quiet thought. It took her a moment to realize what he was saying. He'd shed his mask for her this time and eat with her. Her chest swelled. Sakura had never truly understood why he wore it in the first place. And as a young girl, like her boys, she'd been avidly curious why he wore it. As a woman, the question was still there, but it wasn't nearly as obnoxious as before. After a time she'd just grown use to the fact that he'd never take it off. The mask was as much Kakashi as his little orange book was. It seemed wrong for him to take it off, even in front of her for dinner.
"Oh, no," she said with a frown. "You don't have to do that, sensei. Not for me, not for one little meal. I'll just go get a shower while you eat. Then I'll eat when I get--."
"You're food will grow cold," he argued, raising a brow in much the same way he had when she was a girl.
She shrugged. "Well, I can always eat on the bed with my back turned to you. We do the same thing in the woods, don't we?" Granted, he'd never asked her to. She'd just done it out of respect for the man before her; for the person she so wanted to be like in so many ways.
"Sakura--."
It was her turn to interrupt him, "You shouldn't show me your face because of a meal, sensei. I don't know why you hide it... but it must be rather important to you that you don't. If you're going to show me I'd rather it be because you trusted me."
Silence echoed on after her proclamation. She hadn't realized how true those words actually were until she spoke them. Perhaps that's why she'd never bothered him about after she'd grown up... It just hadn't seemed right. Seeing his face... it was like the great mystery of Konoha; well, it had been to rookie nine and Team Gai who'd graduated a year prior. Sakura had never met another person who'd seen it. Tsunade claimed she'd never seen it and the same went for Jiraiya. Tsunade once told her he'd had two teammates who'd, maybe, once seen it in his early Genin years. But, she'd also said two of those teammates were dead; one of them being the great Fourth Hokage. She'd pestered her shishou when she was first undergoing medical training who the last living teammate was; but, her teacher wouldn't say. She couldn't quite understand why. She'd assumed then, and still did now, it had been to annoy the shit out of her. Tsunade could be cruel like that...
But, whatever the reason was, Sakura wasn't going to take up the opportunity unless he had that trust in her; unless he believed she could have his back as a teammate and keep his secrets like a unit should.
She was surprised when the grip on her wrist tightened briefly.
"I wouldn't have offered if I didn't," he muttered, voice almost unsure. Then he did something she hadn't been expecting all of a sudden. He let go of her and reached for the top lining of his mask and began to tug it down slowly.
Panicking, she sat down and grabbed his wrist. A surge of unexpected emotion poured through her. "Wait," she breathed, anticipation licking her insides. When his eye narrowed in question, she explained. "Can I?"
He blinked.
She smiled despite the thick air in the room. "I've been waiting years for this, sensei... surely you wouldn't begrudge me the action of removing it myself?" She was a little taken back by the quaking in her voice; the shaking tone that hinted at wanting this more than anything else before.
He gave her an unusual look behind the guise of his mask. "Very well," he murmured in ascent with a nod and brief shutting of his good eye.
Closing her eyes and opening them slowly, she leaned forward. She scooted her chair to face his better from where it turned out a bit from the table at a slant. She didn't know why, but she carefully removed her gloves. Her bared hands reached forward, the very tip of her fingers reached for the edges and she held in a breath and she took hold of it.
His skin, she realized, was warm and feather soft like a baby's breath. It stole across her fingertips like fresh peach fuzz. She ever so slowly tugged it down farther. The spandex, blue material caressed his face and dropped off his nose with a jolt, causing her to swallow. But then, she paused and realized it wasn't going to be enough without the full display. She wanted it all in one go.
"Open the Sharingan," she whispered in order. "Please," she amended at his arched brow. Slowly, he did so. Staring into both eyes had her taking pause again. She wanted to run her thumbs across his long lashes even though she hadn't taken it all off yet.
She exhaled slowly and began to pull more of it off, undressing his face. The more she revealed the more she felt a warmth coiling within her, the more she felt drawn to his very visage. And when the mask was hanging about his neck, rumpled and disarrayed, she did not move. She stared and locked her eyes on every curve of his features. He must have shaved recently before the mission start, or sometime between the trip from Konoha and here when they took a short break. Because, she couldn't see a hint of stubble anywhere on his soft, pale features.
Her eyes softened at the sight of him and she immediately realized that if he'd been in the academy when she was a Genin she wouldn't have spared Sasuke a glance. He wasn't gorgeous. He wasn't an Adonis with a sharp chin or jawline. His beauty, yes his beauty, was rather uncommon. She could easily understand why he wore the mask now.
He had the features of one far too young for his age. He looked very young and very boyish. And she imagined it would take years of aging before he showed a shed of anything but youth. In fact, if he were much shorter he could have easily passed for someone far--too far--beneath his age category.
She ran her fingers across his cheeks, her thumbs down his nose and across his brow. His eyes closed as she ran her fingers across his lashes and lips, across the scar falling over his left eye.
"I can see why you hide it," she whispered sadly, realization hitting her quickly. When his eyes opened, both of them, and locked on her she didn't release the hold she had on his cheeks. She felt that same need to hold him as she had that day in the training area, to comfort him. How many had he had to endure because of that beautiful, boyish, face? Had that been why he'd quit ANBU? How prized had his boyish looks been in regards to the men of different tastes?
Her heart ached for him and she could understand why he didn't want her to do this; why he night not ever want someone like Sasuke to do this.
"I think in my misguided youth I thought, perhaps, Naruto had been right," she went on. "That you hid your face because you weren't anything to look at, that you had some horrible scar or.. a disfiguring feature..." she murmured, almost feeling ashamed as her eyes shook, as her voice quaked. "But this..." she whispered, allowing her fingers to trail down his face in defeat. "It's almost worse..." It was.
Silence echoed on after her words and all she could do was look down at her hands, trembling on his thighs where they'd fallen ceremoniously. Her chest burned with all the emotion she felt in the room, with everything that had half poured out of her words.
Finally, he took her hands in his own and squeezed. She wasn't sure if he did it out of comfort for her... or himself. There were so many unspoken, though passed, words between the two in that moment. There had been for months and she sensed there might always be. She didn't understand it right then. Maybe she never would.
"Let's eat before it gets cold," he finally muttered uncomfortably, releasing her hands.
She nodded and gathered herself up as she turned her chair around and reached for her chopsticks.
For the first time in months she was happy dinner was eaten in silence.
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
AN: I'm really very overjoyed at all the reviews I've been getting. I use to reply to them in here about a half a year a go or so when I started writing fanfiction again. But, if you check your email inbox, you'll see I reply to all my reviews as long as they aren't anonymous.
A lot of people have been guessing and pondering about this story for a LONG time since it's posting. I'm glad to see that, as it was the point. So far, only a few people have gotten the answer to Kakashi's torment correctly, a few others have gotten really close. However, many of you still have a long way to go in figuring it out. That's ok, though! Don't try to guess too much, or the real reason won't be as big of a heart stopping shock! And I'd rather it be as big of a shock to you as it will be to Sakura.
Someone asked me about Rin a while ago. About how she may or may not be considered a loved one to Kakashi. It made me wonder if other people had this same question... well... I've always considered Kakashi decidingly cryptic... so perhaps I'll find a way to answer this question later in the story when and if Sakura finds out Rin was once his teammate.
Yes, I hate to break it you, but Sakura is going to find herself in a situation where 'rape' is a heavy theme. But, don't get your panties in a twist just yet. You'll find a surge of overwhelming surprise over the hill when it comes to her in that situation. Trust me. And NO, I'm not going to be cliche and have Kakashi jump in an ruin everything. Seriously? After reading my fics this long? You think I'm going to be typical and avoid heartbreak and character development with that? You guys know be better than that. But, I'll try to make it as quick and painless as possible for you, the readers.
Hope you enjoyed this latest update. Took me a while to find the groove to write it!
--Blade