..Chapter Fourteen..
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The flash of her hair, pink and unbound, danced about her features as she dove into the night. Her lungs forced life into her body, into her heart. Her heart beat blood into her veins and those same blood vessels shot adrenalin through the very core of her being. She moved with a cat-like grace, with an ease, through the many towering buildings in a way that would of had her panting in confusion months ago.
But not now.
Months ago she wouldn't of dared give chase, she wouldn't of even considered it. Had she made an attempt to keep up then she would of found herself on the losing end of this gambit run. He would of laid waste to her senses. He would have left her in not in a trail of dust; no, he was far too good for that. He would of left her in a sandstorm of mental disarray and off balance. She wouldn't have picked up on his subtle tracks---ones he didn't have time to wholly hide as he moved like a panther hunting his prey in the night. Even this distraught and clumsy, she would of felt like a trembling Genin to even consider it.
She wouldn't of.
But now... now she was a woman of finesse. She was a woman of grace and expertise. In the time he'd groomed her, guarded her and beat the life out of her within a breath of living, she'd become the wondrous weapon she so desired to be. He had given her that. And, in giving her that he'd given her the ability to keep up with him.
Perhaps if he was in a bit better form, in a better place mentally he might have lost her.
Perhaps.
But, not now. He'd run from her twice before. Once when she'd asked him to be her sponsor and once when he'd finally agreed after trying to scare her. And twice she'd let him go, knowing she was the inferior shinobi. That was not the case tonight.
Not now.
Now she was fast on his heels, moving about like a leaf on the wind, telling herself he couldn't totally detect her as she kept an eye on his backside, moving as he did over the buildings and into whatever sanctuary he so sought for himself from her confessions of love.
She wasn't giving up this time. She wasn't letting up. She wasn't going to let him run from her. Not again. Not tonight.
Not now.
He'd been evasive her whole life. He hid from the world like a turtle who somehow managed to protect himself without ever really withdrawing into his shell. He was complicated and excuse-laden. Honestly, if she really wanted to delve deeply enough into the throws of his general evasiveness, Sakura could say, without a doubt, he'd been running his whole life from one person or another...from one reason or another. He always slipped away at the last moment, he always hid at the most critical climax in any given non-combative situation where lives were not in danger. He left people with the bill constantly, he could write book on late slips and tardies and he could even coin a slick phrase to sell ice water in the frozen tundra of Snow Country to the savviest of buyers.
Hatake Kakashi was so many things. And in all the time she'd come to know him until then she knew few. She knew far and few. However, what she'd learned by barely cracking the shell in his reserve was a wealth of knowledge. It was something she'd been an unlikely candidate to be privy to. He was compassionate. He was caring. And he'd sooner die than watch someone under his charge fall prey to their wounds, their own personal demise. He was an unshakable force. She would say she was daunted at the very idea she hadn't fallen for him sooner. Still, it took months of walking in his shoes and being expected to fill them in a way she didn't quite think possible to really understand him even a small bit. It took trembling in his arms, vulnerable and in tears, for him to open up even enough for her to feel what barely lay beneath.
She didn't know what made him run.
She didn't know what his demons were.
She didn't care what he was trying to protect himself from, her from.
All she knew is what her heart, the beating organ in her breast, told her to do. She only knew what it had been secretly telling her since that night in the bar when she first asked him to make her into the creature she wanted to be as a child.
Even if he didn't love her, even if he didn't want her, even if there could be nothing more between them but a unwavering trust and sound friendship more securely formed by the bonds of of being a team... she had to know the truth. She had to know why he couldn't face her.
It was with this quiet courage and undaunting pursuit that Sakura reached into the pouch snugly tucked to the belt about her waist and flung a wire attached to two weighted balls in the direction his his ankles. She wasn't kidding herself as she watched it sail into the night. She fully expected the puff of smoke to pop out in the night, revealing to her it was nothing more than a replacement jutsu.
And when it did, before it did, she was already moving to relocate herself and continue the chase. It would take a far grander amount of finesse to take out the Copy Nin Kakashi. She'd worked with him long enough to know.
She stole against a wall, pressing her back into the cool surface as she exhaled softly and listened. She expanded her senses and waited for him to make a move. Would he attack or would he go on running? More than likely the latter considering his mental state and unknown fear. However, this didn't stop her from being cautious as she waited and held a sharp, readied, kunai to her chest.
She waited for what seemed like minutes. Those fair minutes were nothing more than seconds and she knew it no matter the tricks her mind would play to taunt her. When she finally felt secure in her intuition that he wasn't going to pounce on her she moved down the alleyway. Her footing was light and unheard. She did well to settle chakra beneath her feet, moving it in a manner that did not leave a trail in her wake. It was just enough to do the job without using too much of her reserve. She wasn't worried though. If her sensei, her partner, taught her anything it was that she needed to take the enemy out as quickly and quietly as possible.
Anything else was failure.
Less than a second later her thoughts were redirected to the task at hand and she was fast on his heels once more. She had been right. He wasn't going to attack her. Kakashi was going to try and divert her attention.
He was still going to run.
"Have it your way," she mouthed into the night lest she be heard. If he wanted to play hardball, so be it. She wasn't going to fool herself into thinking this was going to be easy. She recalled immediately how Zabuza had taken him down all those years ago. Fast and quick. If she wanted to do the same she'd have to use cunning, stealth and her most powerful genjutsu.
Even as she thought this her hands were already moving into the signs. Her eyes snapped in direct line of sight on his moving, leaping form.
"Blossoms Of The Befallen," she whispered to execute the action. In a flash of forward momentum her body faded from sight and in its place a flurry of cherry blossoms shot onward. Before he even realized it was a genjutsu it would be too late. She knew this much because she'd taken care to try the technique on Sasuke. Regardless of how good his eye was, if she were fast enough--which, she was in her mind--he would be trapped. Once he was in her grasp he wouldn't be going anywhere.
Her eyes were everywhere. They blinked from all angles as her technique breezed about him like the rush of a flowery-laden storm. And she was right, the moment he realized her coarse of action was far too late. His eye widened and he reached for his headband to see through the guise.
And in the time it took him to take that coarse of action was all the time she needed to tighten the haze of pink and white about his body. In this moment she attacked from what appeared, for a split millisecond, numerous angles and bound him in forceful embrace. The genjutsu was released as she did so and they both fell a good two flights down.
She stifled a cough and suppressed the urge to cry out when her wrists, her hands, felt as though they might break under the impact of hitting between the sandwich of his back and terra firma below. She held true, however. She refused to release him even as he stiffened beneath her. It was a movement that told her he was trying to find a weakness in her hold.
"Let me go, Sakura. Now."
"Not until you agree, you vow, to talk to me first."
"We've talked already."
"Oh, you mean that bit where I reveal my feelings and you run like a bat out of hell?"
"Sakura.." he drawled, voice deep as he exhaled beneath her.
"Do you honestly think I'm going to let this go? What are you going to do? Transfer off my team? Keep yourself busy with so many missions you never see me? Like hell, Hatake. I will find you by any means possible. I will haunt you until you relent and speak to me like an adult. I'm not that girl anymore. You saw fit to remedy that. If you don't want me, if you don't want to return my feelings, just say so, damnit! Don't hide from me as a coward would! I'm not your student anymore!
"I am your equal!"
Her chest heaved against his own and she awaited his response. He couldn't possibly think she was going to simply let this go. She wouldn't... "You can't honestly think I will go quietly into the night as your dutiful subordinate. I will not, Kakashi. I refuse. I--!" Her speech was cut off as he suddenly, somehow, managed to shove her off of him. Sakura jumped to her feet, fully ready for him to run from her once more.
However... he did not, much to her surprise. She didn't know why he hadn't. He'd seemed pretty set on it from the start. Then again... maybe he realized she was serious. She was. She meant every word. It was a vow that would not be broken. Like him, when she said she was going to do something she meant it with every fiber in her being.
"Let it be, Sakura," his voice was dark and held a hint of wavering, clandestine words.
"Then tell me you don't want me!" she insisted, fists balled before her. "Tell me," she snapped in heated, emotional anger because he'd run from her, "you can't love me. Tell me..." she went on as she took a step forward, "that you will never feel that way about me. Look me in the eye and say it, Kakashi."
She saw it in his eyes when she closed ground between them both, even if it was only a step. She saw a deep seeded terror there. Was he afraid of her? Why? What reason did he have to fear her? That fear, that silent echo of pain, it forced her to break the anger budding within. She had to quit shouting. Even if she didn't stop demanding, pushing, she had to calm down. Anger was something she had trouble with. It was something she had slowly, steadily, learned to control. This was a time when she needed that control. She needed to exhale, to breathe and realize whatever it was he was keeping from her would not be revealed by shouting or screaming in his face.
Gingerly, at the pass of several moments, Sakura edged closer to him. "Talk to me," she whispered. "Please..." She moved again, gauging his reaction, if any. Her heart hammered in her chest and her insides shook with trepidation and she took slow, steady and cautious steps closer and closer to him. She swallowed as she held his gaze, as she tried to read what hidden emotions kept him there and made him want to go at the same time.
Just as slowly, she lifted her hand in front of her. Her gloved, trembling, fingers reached out for his face, his cheek. Her eyes remained soft, hopeful and questioning. Please don't run, she said within her thoughts. Please stay with me, she begged to her heart. Her lips parted as if to speak, but she would not.
I love you... she wanted to say, but would not.
Not yet.
Would he move? Would he go? Was she wasting her time chasing after another man who could not overcome the monsters in his heart? Was all of this in vain? Was it wrong to place her heart on the line for someone who ached so obviously in her eyes?
"Kakashi..?" she whispered a bare breath before him, her fingers grazing his cloth covered cheek.
She gasped as his hand snapped up and took tight hold of her wrist. Her face contorted into confused pain as he shut his eyes to hers. His grip was just as painful; but, the bite of the hand about her covered flesh didn't make her cry out; not when the pain lacing her heart just so was inevitably much harder to bear.
"You don't," he ordered gruffly, obviously trying to keep himself in check.
She said nothing. She couldn't make herself speak now.
"Do you hear me?" he asked. His eyes flashed open when she remained silent, an unquenched fire laden in both. "Do you hear me?!" he shouted in a whisper, grabbing her upper arms.
She opened her mouth to speak; but he stopped her again.
"Don't say it again. Don't tell me you love me."
"Why?" she was amazed she got that out. A need to understand him and why he would say such was stronger than the fears in her heart.
"What you feel for me," he whispered, eyes softening, "it's not real. I won't do that to you. I won't take advantage of you."
She shook her head and reached for him, placing her hands on his chest in a physical reaction to become closer to him. Once more, she followed her heart. "I love you because of what you've become to me, Kakashi; because of what you have given me. I admire you--."
"That's just the problem," he said in hoarse interruption, gripping her arms tighter in reaction as well. "You're confused and I won't become what he was. I won't watch someone do that to another human being again. Do you understand?" he asked, holding her gaze. "I won't let it happen! Even if it's me!
"You've been hurt enough!"
"You haven't hurt me!" she shouted this time.
"I will!" he snapped back, pulling her close enough that her breasts were pressing into his chest. "I will be no better than he was!" he went on, not really grasping what he was saying.
"That was different!" she argued back, shaking with raw emotion. "I didn't want Yukio! The choice was a business matter not a matter of my heart! Yu--!" she was stopped short and cried out as she found herself slammed back into a wall with a warm, hard body flush against her own. She could feel taunt legs spreading her own. She could feel hips pressing into hers. She could feel her heart ramming against the beat of another, syncing itself.
Her eyes were wide and her lips were parted as she expelled short, fast breaths in reaction to the fire present in his mismatched eyes.
"I won't be that man. Not for anyone. Not for you; especially not for you."
Her eyes drew across his own, reading and trying to find what he was truly saying. She didn't really understand how she knew; but, she felt he wasn't talking about Yukio anymore. Perhaps... perhaps he never had been talking about him.
"He was so young," Kakashi said in a still tone. "So full of life and aspiration. He admired his Taichou. He did everything he could be just like him. In the end, he fell in love with him. He would of walked to the ends of the earth and back for him. He would have died thrice over for him. Yet..." he trailed off, eyes distant even as they remained on her own, "yet, the one thing he didn't count on was his subordinate's loyalty to his village.
"His Taichou chose power and the boy chose his village," Kakashi whispered, voice trembling. "And in doing that he sealed his fate. He was powerless, suddenly. He was powerless not because he didn't have the ability or the skill... He was powerless because he couldn't stand up to a man he admired, fought with, killed with... a man he was in love with..."
She was still as the silence echoed on after those words. The chill of the night air passed around them and not through them. Their bodies were close and unmoving against one another. The heat of his words, his grasp, it passed over her even as he relaxed against her in pain and placed his temple against her own.
"I can't do it," he whispered with a still aching, trembling voice that cracked in a way she didn't think he, of all people, could do. "It's why I left years ago when you all became Chuunin. It's why I didn't want to be your sponsor... I can't, I won't, run the risk of being that person and hurting any of you."
She understood. Finally. She understood. The idea, the torment, the emotions he poured into her washed over her body, her heart her and her mind. She wanted to weep. She wanted weep for him and the one he spoke of. Her experience had been a terrible thing; yet, what he spoke of was far worse. To be betrayed by the one you love so completely and then murdered after giving nothing but complete dedication for so long... Not just murder... no... she knew what he meant in those underly words... the horror he could not speak of.
She couldn't stop herself. She couldn't keep herself from wrapping her arms about his midsection. He jolted against her and she took advantage of his surprise when he pulled back. She exhaled through her nose suddenly, used one hand to pull his mask down and pressed her lips against his own. She slanted her mouth across his parted one and this time... she initiated the the kiss. She poured her heart through that physical response. She held back tears cresting in the corners of her eyes and she gave all of herself to him.
If he hoped to push her away with his honesty and his fear he was wrong. The words, his story, had done nothing but serve to make her love him more.
When he gave in she didn't question it. When he slowly, tenderly, for whatever reason, pulled her back away from the wall and into his arms as though she might break under his handling she wanted to cry out. The raw depth of the moment flowed through her as he caressed her, held her and loved her with his mouth.
He'd been fighting her. He'd been fighting this moment and it didn't take a good book to tell her that. After all, at the end of the day, no matter how great people made him out to be, Hatake Kakashi was still a man. He was still a human being with feelings, aches and emotions like anyone else.
She sighed as one of his gloved hands reached up and his fingers curled up at the base of her neck.
She would give him this if he would allow her to give him nothing else. She--.
A cough sounded to their right and cause both parties to rip away from the other. Quick and poise, they turned, readied, to the ANBU on their left who was waiting for them to give him their attention.
Somehow, in the rush, Kakashi had replaced his mask.
"Excuse me, agents Lotus and Crow. I have been sent by Rin-sama with a urgent mission for you both." The masked agent reached into his pouch and pulled out a sealed, red scroll. He handed it to Kakashi, looking a tad uncomfortable as what he had stumbled upon. "You are to review the contents of the scroll, follow its instructions and leave immediately to the location described."
"Class?" Kakashi asked, looking as best as he could considering what had occurred moments ago.
"Undisclosed."
Sakura's eyes narrowed. "Do you mean it doesn't have a class letter... or you don't know?"
The agent nodded at her. "I mean that I do not know, Lotus-sama. Only you two, the Hokage and Rin-sama know the details of this mission. It is to remain that way."
Both of them nodded in reply as the messenger saluted and left in a flurry of smoke.
Sakura shot a look over at Kakashi as he unraveled the mission scroll. He seemed to be reviewing in the same manner he did any scroll. Perhaps it wasn't---Her thoughts jolted as his eyes became widened a fraction.
"Kakashi? What is it?" she asked softly.
"Seduction mission," he muttered.
Her eyes narrowed. "For me? So soon?" The silence that echoed after her question did not bode well. "Kakashi?" she prompted, taking a step towards him.
"No," he said finally, voice stoic.
"Then--?"
"For me."
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AN :: I'm sorry this update took so long. I know how you all are use to my weekly ones for both Torn and Mona. Hell, any of my fics aside from KMI right now. Well, about two weeks ago I lost my oldest dog... we're not sure really what happened, but ultimately we think it was cancer. Even if we'd known we couldn't do much about it... I'm just happy he's at peace now. It really sucks, all considered. I mean, I lost Pop and Cebu... two of the ones I care about most in this world all in one year. Not even a few months between.
After I lost him we went to Dragon*con about a week and a half later. I had to get ready for that and I only recently got back on Tuesday. So again, I'm sorry for the late update. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Thanks for being patient, awesome and waiting. I'll be sure to check my inbox ASAP now that I've updated both and reply to my reviews.