4. Somebody Has to Clean That Up

"HYAAAAA!!!"

Robin flew at me, chopping a hand down that stunned the length of my right arm. He then lightning-quick-grabbed my aching shoulder and flung me over towards the edge of the mat.

I gracefully recovered in mid flight and landed in a sliding crouch; barely keeping myself from getting out of bounds of the sparring arena. I dashed towards him with all my human might and swiped a forearm at his temple.

He ducked….dodged a second blow of mine, and flipped backwards so that we were at a fair distance apart. We both deserved a half-second to breathe.

Inside the Gym—deep within the recesses of the tower—the Teen Titans were taking part in their weekly training. It was something Robin and I anticipated for days now, for we often enjoyed these bits of hand-to-hand combat. Needless to say, we were both experts in the field. With all the energy we put into the fighting, we knew how to not dangerously hurt each other. 'Boys will be boys', they always say. Robin and I…we were on the way to becoming men.

"Hrmp--!" Robin leapt over me, landed behind, then immediately crouched down and swiped my legs from under.

I fell—but in mid fall my hand reached out and flexed, shoving my body back upwards. I flipped in mid-air and twisted so that a foot would fly towards Robin's chin. The Boy Wonder barely ducked. He backed off a step or two around the time I landed on my feet and stood up, composed.

"Yeah! Allright! Now this is what I call an exciting fight!" Cyborg cheered from the sidelines. With that robotic eye of his, the Teen Titan was acting as visual referee. It was a complicated task all in its own right, not to mention that he was simultaneously 'monitoring' Beast Boy's jog on the treadmill.

"Lemme see! Lemme see!" exclaimed the elf, jumping in mid run to glance over Cyborg's shoulder.

"Nuh uh, little man. You've got a good ten minutes left, so don't be jumpin' off that thing."

"I've already been on this thing for forty minutes!!" Beast Boy exclaimed with an exaggerated pant of the tongue (memoirs of a dog). "Can't I just pause and see who kicks whose butt?"

"I said no. You've got important muscles to grow. And it ain't easy with all the protein you miss out on with that greeny diet of yours."

The emerald one frowned. "You want proteins? How 'bout I jump into your arms and turn Walrus on ya?!"

"That's fatty tissue, genius. Just relax. I'll play back the results of the duel later from my neural net."

As if on cue, Beast Boy brightened. "You mean you're recording this thing?"

"Yeah, and your voice is overlapping the combat. So shut up!"

"Pfft," BB pouted. "As if they're both talking or something…"

Robin charged at me with a fist.

I surprised him with an awkward move. I leaned forward and—with use of my greater height—clamped onto his shoulder and held my chest back far enough to miss most of the impact of the Boy Wonder's fist. I then used his torso as a vaulting board—flipping over him—twisting around—and coming down with my chest to his back ready to perform a finishing body slam.

But suddenly Robin's heels slid back and locked with my feet. I was frozen in place by his limbs. He then yanked his upper body down, planted his hands against the mat, untwisted his heels, and shoved them deep into my torso with a leapfrog kick of sorts.

I flew back, flipped, and landed—again, barely in the zone.

Robin spun about and rushed to shove me out.

I merely twirled aside from his advanced and kicked him in the square of his back.

He was sent tumbling forwards. But just before he could collapse out of bounds, he again stopped himself with a handstand at the very edge. He tensed his arms and leapt upwards, flipped, and came down at me with a drop kick and a growl.

I spun to the side—barely avoiding the SLAM! of his impact and flew a fist at his cranium.

He lifted his body in time to avoid my blow, grabbed my arm, and flipped me over his shoulder.

I grabbed the very arm gripping me in time to neatly roll down his back—grab his side—and send him spinning to the other end of the mat, where he stopped a little dizzily and froze in a ready position for the next move.

Again…another half-second to breathe.

"Wow…most exciting," remarked Starfire at the edge of the gym. In the middle of some long-distance, starbolt target practice she looked to her right to observe the ensuing match. "They seem to get evenly matched with each subsequent training session."

"Robin will win, you'll see," said Raven rather monotonously. She was a few feet besides the Tamaranian beauty, floating in a meditative crossing of the legs while levitating various metal spheres and shaping them into a mid-air replica of an electron cloud.

"But Robin always wins," Starfire exclaimed.

"Yes….that's exactly my point." Raven's face scrunched as she turned the electron cloud into a nucleus, and back into an electron cloud again, exercising her mind. "It'd break my concentration to watch the exact same thing happen this week like any other one before."

"I see what you mean…," Starfire nodded. A pause. "………………..GO ROBIN!!!"

"YAAAAK!" Raven exclaimed, eyes wide. The spheres dropped loudly to the floor. After the surprise left her eyes, her forehead turned into a sizzling red and she growled at Starfire.

"Oops," the alien girl blushed. "Heheheheheh….by all means. Go back to your spinning balls of glory, Raven."

"Yeah….glory be to the engineer who made these things to shatter upon impact with living tissue," Raven griped.

And Starfire was quiet, though she still watched the duel….and smiled.

Robin wooshed up from behind me all of the sudden and gripped me in a headlock. Robin grunted as he applied added force around my neck in an effort to cut my oxygen supply and make me throw in the towel. But there's a little secret that Robin still hadn't gotten used to, and that's that I had a lot more room in my neck to breathe than the average person.

I sneaked in an adequate gulp of air, lifted my legs, put all our weight on Robin's body, then swiftly brought my legs back down and flung Robin over my torso like a catapult.

He landed in a crouch.

I rushed him.

He jumped up with a horizontal swing of the leg.

I blocked with my forearm and swung my other down at his chest.

He pulled it down below his center of gravity and attempted an uppercut at my unbalanced figure.

I spun out of the span of his lunge and elbowed him in the side.

He went sliding across the mat—his boots practically smoking against the material beneath—and then came back at me with a flurry of fists.

SmackSmackSmackSmackSmackSmackSmackSmack.

Backing up, I parried just as rapidly.

BlockBlockBlockBlockBlockBlockBlockBlockBlock.

Cyborg and Beast Boy cheered from the sidelines. Starfire giggled and Raven chanted to herself.

Robin's last punch was really more like a grapple which he used to yank my blocking arm downward and throw me off for a blow to the chest.

But I had anticipated this. And as his right arm went sailing for my torso, I acrobatically flipped the rest of my body on the fulcrum of his grip on my hand, landed behind him, and slid a leg under.

It was here that things happened in slow motion.

The sliding of my leg successfully sweeped his legs out from under him. Slowly, his body swung into a horizontal position with his chest to the ceiling and his back to the floor—thanks to a forceful yank of my arm on his very own grip. I was now kneeling with an airborne Robin right beside me, and the appropriate shove-down of my arm into his chest would most likely ground him to the mat and grant me the first victory in as many hand-to-hand spars as we have had. It wasn't until my palm was making half of its maiden voyage down to smack flat into Robin's sternum that I realized there was a severe error in letting an airborne Boy Wonder named after a bird grip my appendage to begin with.

Robin's right leg snaked to my side, bent, and hooked itself around the entirety of my back. Before an inch of his body could strike the mat, he flexed his lower half with all his might and—using my weight—pulled himself swiftly out of the blow of my palm, which instead struck the floor. I was then helpless while Robin—in perfect agility—snaked around the back of my body, sprung free from my grasp, and used my very derriere as a springboard for his two feet; upon which he leapt high towards the ceiling.

WHUMP!!!

I fell hard onto the mat, chest first. Then I made the foolish mistake of rolling onto my back to get up. For just then—through the black crystal of my shades—I saw Robin flying back down at me elbow-first. He had flipped in midair from jumping off my back, and was now sailing earthward to pin me down.

And he did. And it stung.

WHAM!!!!!

The breath shot out of my mouth. Naturally, there was no grunt or cry. Just the hot air of defeat. Pain warbled out of my body like a heavy stone splashing into a pawn. And after the liquid agony washed over and lapped against the edge of my extremities, the match was over, the gym floor was quieter, and Robin grinned amidst panting.

"Gotcha…"

Cyborg whistled. "Man….that had to hurt."

"Who won?! Who won?!?! Lemme see!!"

"Who do you think won?" Raven mumbled amidst her electrons.

"Say, aren't you supposed to be meditating?"

"Say, aren't you supposed to be going to Hell?"

"Now now, guys," Cyborg tsked, "I know we're all getting worn out in our exercises, but let's not get testy!"

"Yes, Cyborg is right," Starfire said with a helpful smile. "Raven, please do continue with your meditations! And Beast Boy can resume going to the Hell!"

"Think you taught him a good enough lesson, Robin?" Cyborg chuckled. "You know, we stole Beast Boy's whoopee cushions for a reason. Don't take it out on Noir!"

"Heyyyyy!"

Robin stood to his feet and brushed himself off with a smirk. "I know enough about physics to not truly hurt a teammate, Cy. Right, Noir? No damage done?"

I wheezed…hacked…cracked my neck and nodded dizzily.

"Heheh…okay, I'm sorry," he lowered a hand to help me up. "You know me. You were getting pretty good, and I have a record to maintain!"

"Yeah…like most egotistical butt-kickers!" Beast Boy chirped. "Ha ha ha ha!"

Cyborg increased the speed of BB's treadmill by a factor of Five.

"Whoah! Whoah Whoah Whoah WhoahWhoahWhoahWhoahWhoah! Knock it off!!"

"Heheheheh…"

I took Robin's hand and stood up, wincing, but all right.

"Not half bad, Noir," Robin said, patting a shoulder. "One of these days, you may win against me yet."

I nodded silently.

He looked at me.

I looked at him.

He looked at me.

I looked at him.

He smiled. "Aw shucks….gloves off. How 'bout it?"

I smiled, knowingly.

Raven's eyes opened from her meditation. "Not again…"

Robin reached back for his rod.

Starfire looked over and blinked. "Eek!"

I reached back to Myrkstaff in its sheathe.

Cyborg gasped. "Uh oh! They're at it again!"

Robin extended his rod and smiled devilishly.

Unlimited powers. Gloves off indeed.

"Woohoo!" a scampering Beast Boy chanted from his treadmill. "Tear the house down! Tear the house down! Yeah!!"

"RAAAUGH!" Robin leapt..

"!!!!" I leapt.

We met in mid-air, our bludgeons contacting with a broad CRACK!! Myrk erupted outward from my body. I faded and materialized directly behind Robin—forcing his falling body to the ground and pressing him into the mat.

For a moment he struggled, then acrobatically froglegged his lower body into planting two heels deep into the pressure points of my ribs.

Naturally, I was jolted off him. But as I rolled away, I left a carpet of warbling smoke which I promptly yanked out from under him when he stood up—sending him falling to the ground again.

I gasped and swung Myrkstaff down at him.

Robin rolled.

I swung down to strike him again.

Robin rolled to the other side and brought a foot up, deflecting my third swing—and the staff—up in the air.

He then jumped up, recovered his rod, and spun it at me like a huge fan.

"Yeah!! That's what I'm talking about! RrrrRAUGH!!"

I held Myrkstaff out. Blocking each spin of Robin's metal. Making sparks fly.

Robin swung horizontally at my skull the first moment he could.

I ducked and jabbed into his chest with the blunt edge of Myrkstaff.

He groaned and bent forwards.

I made to uppercut him with the wood.

He spiraled out of the way and tripped me with the rod.

I fell butt-first to the ground.

Robin jammed his rod down at me.

A bed of myrk formed behind my shoulders and slid me towards the side of the gym—completely off the map. I then vaulted myself backwards, flipped, and landed with my feet planted against the wall. A coil of smoke formed against the concrete siding and exploded. My body sailed directly at Robin as I stretched Myrkstaff forward like a tomahawk missile.

In slow motion, Robin bent his body back and narrowly escaped my rocketing figure scraping over his chest.

I rolled to the floor and squatted up just in time to see him charging me with three birdarings poised between his knuckles….which he let fly.

I held the broadside of Myrkstaff out vertically and deflected all three projectiles in one shove.

C-C-CLANK!!

Right after, Robin was on me…swinging his staff and grunting and sweating with the whole effort yet grinning all the same with the challenge.

I smiled back at him and deflected each blow, jabbing forward with my weapon every now and then to contact a shoulder or leg—but to no avail.

"Whoah! Watch it!" Cyborg dashed out of the way as we dueled past him. The fight took us both slowly across the floor of the gym. Nothing was sacred anymore. We reached the exercise equipment. Meanwhile a nearby panicky Beast Boy watched in mid sprint on the treadmill.

Robin backed me up against a rack of dumbbells. He swung three times horizontally—each of which I dunked or dodged. Then he made a vertical strike with a growl. I rolled backwards up and over the rack of dumbbells and swung up with a flash of Myrkblade—slicing the rack entirely in two. In slow motion, the dumbbells lifted in midair. I swiftly brought Myrkblade back down through one of the medium dumbell's centers, spun around, and effectively kicked both severed weights--flying directly at Robin's body.

Fast forward. Robin spun his rod counter-clockwise, froze, deflected one weight, spun it the other way, froze, deflected the other, then spun, then jabbed forward with the weapon.

I lunged back, lunged forward, kicked, and sent Robin sailing backwards over the equipment.

Robin righted himself in midair and grabbed ahold of the wire support of a nearby punching bag. He spun around by his grip, landed in a crouch on the body of the bag, and used it as a spring to leap directly over me, squat, and jab the square of my back with the broadside of his rod.

I was sent reeling over towards Cyborg—who again yelped and jumped out of the way. When I had composed myself, Robin was again charging, a grin of competition on his face.

I tossed some dark hair out of my eyes, crouched, and flared up a wall of myrk behind me. FLASH!!! I crossed ten meters in one tenth of a second. The sheer velocity of my power sent Robin floating upward. FLASH!! In a streak of obsidian I was above him, shoving down with my foot. Robin sailed to the floor. FLASH!! I streaked beneath him, caught him with my spring-like legs, and launched his body across the length of the gym.

But eventually, Robin beat me to the punch. I was just then zooming up towards him on miles-per-nanosecond speed when he whipped out a grappling hook and shot it towards the ceiling. So, when I reached where I anticipated his body to be in mid air and swung Myrkstaff, he had recoiled a few feet above me, flipped, and flung himself down rod first.

SMACK!!

The blow sent me spiraling to the ground. At the last second I landed on my right knee and left toe—stretched out athletically—and slid to a stop at the base of Beast Boy's treadmill.

Robin lit the ground and charged at me, growling.

I smirked and flipped up before he could contact me and perched gracefully on one of the railings of Beast Boy's exercise machine.

The green elf sweatdropped and then yelped as Robin's staff struck at me. Beast Boy effectively ducked and dodged each swing of Robin's and my contacting bludgeons—all the while continuing his strenuous jog.

"Aah!" Whack! "Eeek!" Clang! "Hey!" Wham! "Knock it off!" Smack! "Sheesh!"

Robin suddenly whipped out his birdtaser and aimed at my chest. Beast Boy shrieked and duck-ran. I again flipped off, jumped off the wall, and sailed down over Beast Boy's head—knocking the taser away. The tool slid far along the ground of the gym and exploded somewhere near Starfire's feet.

"Ackies!!" Starfire jumped up--

"Azzarath…Metrion…Zinth—"

--and fell into Raven's levitating lap.

"--UGH!!!"

Both girls tumbled to the floor—Raven's metal spheres clattering on top of their dizzy heads.

Robin swung at me with both edges of his rod.

I sidestepped both lunges and swung down with Myrkstaff.

Robin leapt away, and my blow broke off the metal bar supporting a dumbbell—which fell to the floor with a clang!

Robin picked up the bar in one hand and held his rod parallel in the other. He winked through his eyemask, growled, and came at me—spinning like a top and rotating both metallic sticks of death like a rusted carnival ride from Hades.

My eyes widened under the shades. I found myself backing up, deflecting, erupting smoke and myrk to confuse him—but he merely pierced on through, spinning and rotating and striking and grinning and sending sparks flying.

I had to get out of that hurricane. So I ducked and slid down, underneath, through his legs, and leapt up the other side. I spun a three-sixty with my sword, only for him to reach backwards with both metal rods—effectively trapping my bludgeon in a rusted grip.

With a yank, he flipped Myrkstaff into the air through use of his rods. I leapt to catch it, but he performed a suddenly impossible bicycle kick that shot my weapon up into the air sharply so that it stuck into the ceiling.

"HA!" Robin spun about and swung both rods mightily to crush my lungs together from the sides. I merely bounded over him and ran right towards the edge of the gym. As I approached it, myrk flashed out from my feet. I grit my teeth and ran directly up the wall. Defying gravity through speed and dark energy.

Cyborg let out a long whistle. "Man, look at 'em go."

"Yeah..," Beast Boy wheezed, looking sick. "Look at 'em…"

Raven pushed Starfire off her and grumbled.

Robin watched.

I ran up the wall, bounded off, shot out into open air, and flipped twice until my feet were close enough to the ceiling. I momentarily fazed into smoke and back again, and soon I was hanging upside down from the ceiling right next to my stuck Myrkstaf thanks to my smoke-encircled feet.

Robin couldn't help but laugh.

I grinned. Grabbed the staff. Let loose my powers. And fell upside down directly over him.

Robin readied to strike me with both rods.

But halfway down the ascent, I faded into smoke and faded back again—upright--with an airbone, spinning kick that deflected both weapons out of the Boy Wonder's.

SM-SMACK!!

Coming down from my full descent, I swung Myrkstaff vertically.

It missed Robin's nose by an inch as he backed up and chuckled. "Heheh! Two can play at that game!"

I'm usually one to listen. But I didn't care right then. I swung again at his form.

Robin leapt, flipped, jumped off unsuspecting Cyborg's shoulders and fired another grappling hook. The cord wrapped around the base of a ceiling fan. Robin let loose some slack and used his momentum to run along the circumference of the gym's walls, one arm tethering him to the grappling hook cord and the fan in the center of the ceiling.

Thus, Robin effectively—er—played round-robin with me. He orbited my body as his feet dashed him horizontally along the walls. With a free hand, he simultaneously grabbed handfuls of birdarangs and sent them—laughing—hurtling towards my figure.

I quickly tensed my muscles, centered myself, and channeled energy into Myrkblade just in time to slash at each incoming projectile. Waves of dark energy deflected them more or less back at Robin's speedily rotating position.

The wall-running Boy Wonder unleashed birdarang after birdarang at me.

WOOSH! WOOSH! WISH! WOOSH!

I deflected each into a piece of equipment…a trophy case…a locker…and other outrageously destructible structures.

CLANK! SMASH!! WHANG! SMASH!! CONG! SMASH!!

Starfire shook the tumbled red hair out of her face, saw the whirling projectiles everywhere, "EEKed!" and again leapt………into the arms of Raven who had just now gotten up. Needless to say, both girls fell down once more.

SMASH!! CRASH!! BANG!!

"Aaack!!" Beast Boy winced, still treadmilling as if his life depended on it. "Not again! It took me two weeks to clean up after last time!!"

"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!" Robin hysterically exclaimed.

I smirked, then deflected his last birdarang expertly so that it flew like the wind and ripped through his grappling cord.

Robin gasped and plunged to the floor, ironically closed to his dropped weapons.

I gripped Myrkstaff and smoked towards him at the speed of sound.

In a flash he was up on his feet with both rods ready.

Time to finish this…

CLANK!!

My staff's vertical plunge ended at the cross of his blocking metal. He lifted against me with a growl and resumed his trademark metal spinning.

I deflected his rapid succession of attacks and put my weight into shoving him back. He snaked around me with a slide and struck up with a double vertical cut. I blocked blindly, reversed myself, kicked him in the chest, and struck low. He leapt, fell back, and lunged. I trapped his rods down to the ground with my weapon, rolled over his back, and struck up against his chest. He brought his rods to his chest and blocked, then shoved against my blow. I was sent spinning but miraculously stopped in time to contact his next attack. He attacked. I parried. I attacked. He parried. We suddenly morphed into a spinning cyclone of clanging metal till somebody slipped and somebody sweat and somebody slid back and somebody slid after and before we both knew it, our weapons had locked with a huge shower of sparks in such a way that the heated metal and wood surfaces were half an inch away from contacting each other's necks.

"…….." Robin panted.

"……." So did I.

Silence.

Cyborg peeked up from where he had been hiding the last minute from behind a smashed locker.

Beast Boy looked as well…his running legs numbed for one reason or another.

Starfire and Raven untangled for the last time and gave us exhausted glares.

"……" Robin panted. Then blinked behind his eyemasks. Then grinned. "Well….I guess…..that leaves it….as a draw…."

I nodded and smiled. Sweat glistened from under my shades as I sheathed Myrkstaff and Robin dropped his rods and looked towards the others.

"Where were we exactly?"

"NOWHERE!!!!" everyone chanted at once.

"….oh."

Just then, the communicator on Robin's utility belt chimed emphatically. Surprised, he lifted the object and opened it up to read the exclamatory text message on the little LCD screen.

His masked eyes widened and he exclaimed out loud. "Titans! Trouble!"

Beast Boy looked around at the ruined, smoking gym. "Pfft! Yeah, you think?"

"Seriously this time!" Robin bolted for the Main Room. "Let's go!"

Starfire and Raven bolted into action.

"We can worry about the protein later," Cyborg muttered as Beast Boy leapt off the machine and falconed his way towards the Briefing. "Noir!" grinned the android at me. "Come on!"

I wiped some sweat from my brow.

You've got to either love it or hate it.

I ran after my teammates.