Me?
I blinked, before bursting into uncontrollable giggles, clutching my sides and gasping for air until my eyes started to water.
I was met by a stony silence.
Once I finally pulled myself together. I choked back my laughter, trying to get the words out clearly. "Paul," I shook my head sadly, "You don't care about me. All you care about is getting what you want- from me. There's a big, big difference."
His voice was slicing, frigid, like razor edges to ice. "What could you possibly know about what I care about?"
"Okay," I replied patiently, "Let me rephrase- you want me, don't you Paul?"
"Is that even in question at this point?" He asked me acidly, tone indescribably flat.
"Exactly. There's nothing else, Paul. You want me, you get me, then you'll be done with me. All this stupid angst and manipulative gaming will be over—once you satisfy whatever it is, your own selfish wants, then you will move on to something else. Its all for yourself."
"Is that what you're worried about?" He asked me harshly. He turned me towards him by my forearms, the pitch black concealing what I'm sure was pure anger in those flashing blue eyes.
"Is what?" I blinked stupidly.
"The reason you resist me," He hissed, "Is because you think that I won't stick around? Is that it?"
"Isn't it?" I asked quietly.
There was a long, terrible silence. My heart had started to beat quickly, and blood pounded in my ears—I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to ignore it.
Finally, his silky voice broke the heavy cloak around us, so soft and low I could barely hear him.
"Suze, I think everyone knows I want you. But I'm not going to want you once, or twice, I want you always," He whispered, and his lips moved to the underside of my jaw, caressing my skin softly. "It'll last if you'll let me…."
I pushed him away shakily. "That's exactly my point. That's all you want. Its all to satisfy what you want. That's what I'm saying. Me…You. Us. That's not what we're talking about."
"Isn't it?" He repeated my question smugly.
"No."
"Then, excuse me, but what exactly were we talking about? I must be confused." I could practically feel that taunting smirk radiating around him in the darkness.
"The bottom line is, you're selfish." I reiterated. "You only care about yourself. And you're going to end up alone."
"Hmm," His voice became bemused, but as always, there was that icy undercurrent. "But you see, everything contradicts that. If you give in to me, then I hardly see loneliness."
"You don't know how to have a relationship. To love anything, anyone, but yourself, and the luxuries money brings you." I tried to turn away, but his hands tightened, dropping down to my waist and pulling me forward until we were so close I could feel his breath—wintergreen colgate, I recognized the smell absently.
"What do you want me to say?" He demanded me coldly. " That I care about you?"
"I don't want you to say anything." I snapped. "I was making a statement."
"Well, I do." He said sharply. "And its about time you quit your ridiculous insecurity bullshit, Suze, because I'm not the person to reassure you."
"Then who is?" I quipped furiously. "Because I don't get anything from you except how much you want me in your bed."
"I'm in love with you." The words were spoken with cold, hard hatred. "I've grown up, Suze, and I know what I want and how I feel. After I gave up, after I realized I was a coward, that part of me was lost. And I'm not going to quit fighting for you now. So stop trying to get me to," He spoke quickly, his words burning with a deeper anger. "Because I'm not."
"You did not just say you were in love with me," I whispered, eyes wide. "Jeezus."
He sighed shortly.
"That's not possible for an ego-maniac. A narcissist." I insisted. "Clearly you're unhinged right now."
"I want you with me, now, and I'm done waiting, Suze. We're inevitable. Its like insisting that the sun isn't going to rise tomorrow." Paul said coyly. "And the sooner you see that, the sooner we can stop playing cat and mouse."
I was quiet for a long time. "Why the sudden realizations now, Paul?"
"My uncle showed me a few things," I felt him shrug. "I let go of my arrogance- it was interfering with the game. And I refuse to lose."
"You're arrogance is still here, sorry to break it to you."
"Perhaps," He said smugly, "But now I know I'm in love with you, and that I'm not giving up."
"I still cannot believe Paul Slater is saying those words." I shook my head. "I must be dreaming."
"Not that I'd be surprised you dream about me," He said coolly, "But don't worry, I'm all real for you."
"You're still Paul." I sighed. "Pity."
"Give in, Suze." He shot back, "You're not even fooling yourself any longer."
"I love Jesse." My voice broke. Damn, damn, Damn it! Why?
" I don't believe you," He whispered, "You belong to me now." and his lips met mine, angry and smoldering in the dark, burning with a passion I couldn't resist. Slowly, I began to kiss him back, and when he felt it, he let out a low moan and pressed me to him. I sighed, lips parting, and ran my fingers through his dark locks.
A maniacal laugh tore through the air, stopping us cold, shivering through my bones down through my every fiber. "London bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down, London bridge is falling down," A high, awful voice whispered in my ear, and my mind filled with images of dark roses and blood, running down the walls and seeping into my soul, and- "Stop!" Paul commanded, his voice cold and so authorative that the room seemed to stand still. "Don't touch her."
Slowly, the icy cold brush of dead fingers released themselves from my mind, and I nearly collapsed.
When I turned, the darkness was dizzying, terrifying. Paul's arms tightened around my waist, and I let out a shaky breath, unable to stop hyperventilating.
"Back so soon?" The terrible, high voice pierced my ears- it seemed to be coming from every direction. It started to hum, the eerie melody echoing around the frigid stone, a taunting, murderous child's tune."Does Washington know you visit me?"
"He knows." Paul said coolly. "And if you touch her again, he'll know a few other things."
"Oh, afraid of me are we?" The terrifying laughter rang out, hysterical and insane.
"Not afraid," Paul said smoothly, and he kissed the back of my neck, sending a different kind of shiver down my spine. "Cautious. I have a few questions for you."
"Paul what is this?" I asked him, my voice high and unsteady.
"I am the spirit who never leaves, who was never born and never dies." The voice whispered, but with the intensity of fingernails slicing down chalkboard. "Washington has harnessed me, and here I stay."
"What do you want from this?" I asked him, turning towards him. Something told me something was terribly wrong. We shouldn't be here. It shouldn't be here.
"It has powers," Paul told me, "And it knows about the Dreamlands."
"The what?" I hissed.
"What is it you want to know?" The voice whispered, slithering now, like a snake's low deadly hiss.
"What happens to you? Once you pass into the Dreamlands?" Paul asked calmly.
"You become like Washington, a man of both worlds," The thing hissed, before giggling to itself. "Its in the Dreamlands that the Great War will start. And it is in the Dreamlands that it shall end."
Paul was silent. I was seething. What the hell were the Dreamlands? And Great War? Umm, I don't want any part of a 'great war', especially if it has to do with this thing. You know, summer, tanning, flip flops, the occasional unhappy ghost? No Big Wars or whatever the hell they were talking about.
"Get me out of here," I commanded tightly. I hoped he heard the finality in my voice. I was going to kick him if even tried to put up some lame ass argument-
"That's all for now," Paul said pleasantly, and took my hands, leading me forward.
"The girl," The thing murmured in its slicing voice, "Is your weakness. Show no one."
I felt Paul stiffen beside me, and a few seconds passed before he moved again, fluidly leading me back until the faint rays of light could be seen peeking over the ledge. He took my waist, lifting me up- and swung up agilely by himself.
"How do you see in the gloom?" I asked grumpily.
"I've been down here since I was young," He replied casually.
"What are the Dreamlands? And why the hell did you take me down there? What is that thing? I shuddered involuntarily.
"I'll explain everything later." He found me in the darkness, and ran his fingertips over my lips, before caressing them with his own. "It interrupted us."
I shrugged. "I'm glad."
"I'm not." And his lips moved down, exploring the hollows of my neck.
The sensitivity made it hard to breathe. "Paul," I gasped, "Can we do this later? I'm still scared of that thing- its not that far away yet and…."
He exhaled shortly. "My uncle will be expecting us anyway."