..Chapter Twenty-One..
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Gold and red were interwoven and shimmered as silk drapery; it hung from the ceiling centered over the bed and then wrapped about the bedposts where it then pooled at the floor in each corner generously. The walls were as brown and as military as the rest of the interior; however, paintings and a few tapestries made up for it. The furniture, which included a dresser and a wardrobe, was sparse. The floors were better though; they appeared dutifully more waxed and buffed.
He stood there, just at the foot of the bed, as he took all of it in. He would of wondered why they hadn't tied him to something were it not for the chakra bracers on his legs and arms. Kaoru might have allowed him free reign with Sakura because he bought her story of prowess over him, but, he wasn't going to take a chance on Kakashi with only his men to watch the door and the perimeter of the room.
The silver-haired ANBU looked down at the clothing they'd given him to wear. The thin, soft, silk of the formal kimono had taken him aback. He wasn't entirely sure what he'd expected, but, it wasn't this. This was something you gave your lover, one you had a feverish affection for... not someone you planned to use to the fullest.
He stared down at his hands and his arms where the material draped. His eyes were distant and his mind drifting in a sea of words and images; they were all strung together, floating, connecting and then disconnecting before him.
He closed his eyes and allowed his hands to drop.
He wasn't this individual who stood in this room waiting. He wasn't this person who couldn't stand to look at himself in the mirror because of what had been done to him, who couldn't stand to look at his own reflection because of what it represented to him. Everything that he was, that he knew himself to be, was slowly shattering before him. The person he imagined himself to be was staring at him, analyzing him, judging him. That person that stood before him, that's who he was.
Somewhere between the person he wanted to be as that child who lost his father and the person he'd become because he didn't like to look at his own reflection, that place, that between was where he didn't want to be. It was that place he couldn't seem to escape. It was an existence that he refused to back-peddle into but couldn't seem to stop himself; he hadn't been able to since locking his own coal and crimson hues with electric amber.
He needed to be the stronger person, the one that got things done, that accomplished the impossible, the one that Sakura looked onto when she needed someone... when she...
In his mind he saw her, pink hair waving about her face as she smiled, green eyes laughing at him; he saw her determined expression as she pushed herself farther, trying to prove herself, to make herself just as useful; he saw her tears, her crumbling body as she clung to him, as she tried to will it all away and.. forget.
He swallowed and opened his eyes again.
"Hello, Rookie."
He resisted the urge to jump, but, he couldn't quite stop himself from shuddering just once. His eyes locked with electric amber and he stared, transfixed, unable to stop himself from doing so.
He chuckled. "Don't look so surprised," Kaoru remarked as he casually stepped aside and towards the dresser. "Relax," he added as he poured himself a drink from the decanter sitting there. He paused and then gestured to the alcohol as Kakashi looked on. "Hm?"
He shook his head and looked away.
"Oh, yes, you never were much of a drinker, were you?" Kaoru asked as he took his glass and made his way back across to the room, this time towards the bed. "Never would touch the stuff, even when I gave you permission." He sighed as he sat down on the edge of it and leaned back so his forearm held him up.
Kakashi watched him, eyes narrowed.
Kaoru swirled his drink, looking on at it. "So, tell me, rookie... how does it feel to be betrayed by your student?"
His words were like a knife, cutting into him, and making him feel what he did not want to. Kakashi's jaw flexed and he looked away as the oppressive air Kaoru wielded so well draped over him like a blanket. Did he have control of it like he once use to? Even like this? Or did he simply go about forcing his wants and needs on others by mere whim?
"Lovely girl, really," he went on before taking a sip from his glass. "Brilliant mind, from what I've read," he commented idly, still staring at his glass. He then smiled."Well, she must have to have fooled you."
He took another drink from the cup, swallowed and then smacked his lips lightly. The moment passed on, drug on and neither said anything. When he spoke again, however, his voice was darker, deeper and held a hint of repressed pain mixed with anger. "It's a terrible thing to think you know someone so well only to find out in the worst way imaginable you don't, isn't it, Kakashi?"
Suddenly, the oppressing blanket of emotion and turmoil receded as Kaoru stood up in a flash and closed the distance between them both. Kakashi instinctively stepped back, eyes shutting. He felt as his lower back hit the edge of the dresser and heard the sound of a glass shattering when it hit the floor; the sound sliced the silence of the air almost instantly. His body shook and his breathing became unsteady.
Kaoru's body was so close that mere inches separated them, if that. His hands were placed to either side of his body, palms flat on the wooden top.
Kakashi could smell the rice wine on his breath as it fanned across and over his face. He could sense the fluctuating disbursement of his chakra; this time, though, it wasn't directed at him. Kaoru wasn't using it to control him or harm him as Kakashi knew he could. The silver-haired male still couldn't stop the edge of fear that coursed his veins. That was enough to keep him still and unreacting of the man before him.
"Do you know how often I dream about you?" he whispered darkly. "Do you have any idea how many years your image has wrapped itself around my mind, calling for me to go back and get you?" He paused, as if waiting for Kakashi to respond. He dipped his head closer, brushing his cheek against Kakashi's as his lips moved closer to his ear.
"To think, all it took was patience and one tiny girl to bring you back to me... hm?"
To this he said nothing. His eyes remained shut and his mouth partially open as his hands braced to either side of his body on the dresser, barely touching Kaoru's. He hated the mixed feelings that swarmed his senses, the fear. He should be in control; his shinobi instincts, instincts that had been drilled into him by this very man, screamed at him to take it back.
He had to.
"I want you back where you belong, Kakashi," he went on without moving an inch more, surprising him further. "By my side," explained.
At this, his eyes opened and he looked on as Kaoru backed away, slowly; he only moved far enough that his hands could still remain on the dresser, bracing himself. The older male's gaze locked on his own, looking oddly soft and revealing; however, Kakashi wasn't going to let his guard down. He was doing his best to use his own fear as a tool while he could, while Kaoru opted not to make use of his oppressing aura.
"Meaning?" he asked.
Kaoru smiled, oddly looking a bit like the man he once knew and less like the monster he'd become. "So, you can talk... Here I was wondering if you'd gone mute."
To this he didn't respond.
"You never were much of a talker anyway... but, we we're different, weren't we, Rookie? I like to think so."
"What do you want?" he asked, still apprehensive, but also agitated; not only of Kaoru's evasiveness, but, of how it made him feel: like a caged animal without control.
"I told you," he said, "I want you back. I want you by my side." He paused, looking serious and contemplative of what he wanted to say. "You're more than a mere bauble to me, you always have been, Rookie. Leaving you here, in this room, as a mere toy for my fascination is a waste of your talents; we both know it.
"All you have to do is say yes. Give your loyalty to me and renounce Konoha, Kakashi. Do that, and I'll give you the freedom you so desire... the life we both wanted together once before...
"The past," he said in finality, "will be erased."
All of it now made sense: the expensive kimono, the chakra bracers instead of more physical restraints and the lack of oppressing aura; he'd done all of it as a way to lay some sort of foundation for what he'd planned to offer Kakashi.
Caution and a lifetime full of shinobi instruction told him to be wary; you never got anything for nothing and there was always some catch. Look underneath the underneath, he'd drilled into his own students. He knew Kaoru well enough that the man was cautious in his own right. He would never do something like this unless....
Kakashi paused, his gaze still transfixed on Kaoru's, this time looking deeper.
...unless he was actually being earnest.
His eyes narrowed.
Was it possible the man before him still held affection for him? Was he so blinded and so lost because of his genetic ability, of it's control over him, that his emotions were driving him?
"Well?" he prompted. "What will you answer me with, Kakashi?"
ooo
The sun was nearly hidden behind horizon by the time Sakura returned; it painted the sky in an orange-yellow hue that danced along the clouds. Her muscles ached as she moved, but in way that she was both use to and enjoyed after a long day.
She sighed blissfully as a well-timed breeze drifted through, cooling her sweat-laden flesh.
The work areas out front that were normally filled with people laboring were now empty and desolate as she passed by; it signaled to her everyone had likely retired for the evening. She noted this as as she watched the departing backs of her 'team' head towards the building entrance, thinking perhaps it would be good to know for later.
"Haruno," she heard as the team leader for the 6th unit, Kairi, fell in step with her.
"Commander?" she replied without looking up at him.
Up was almost an understatement, in Sakura's opinion. He was tall, terribly so, and---as Tsunade would say---built like a brick shit house. He had a both wizened and intimidating appearance that his scars and missing eye only enhanced; however, the way he looked was in no way a mere front. She discovered during the span of the day that he was a capable leader who took no bones from anyone.
In a world where she was still getting her bearings, knowing where she stood with anyone was a blessing.
"I wasn't sure when you got out there today if you were going to be worth your salt."
"Oh?" she replied, sounding bored.
He placed his hands behind his back, nodding. "I can see Kaoru-sama wasn't embellishing when he debriefed me on the addition to my team."
"He does that often?" she asked, her voice light.
Kairi hesitated and then his lips quirked. "Keep up the good work, Haruno, and you'll go far in this unit." At that he broke away from her pace and into his normal stride as he passed through the doors before them both.
She ignored the crowd and the noise as she sifted through the sea of people in the main hall drinking, eating, and whoring. There was laughter, music and several scantily clad women dancing provocatively in the very center of the room. Many a person's attention was drawn that way, devouring the sight.
She wove herself towards the hallway that would lead to her room and good bit of quiet; unfortunately, people appeared to just overflow into it. They leaned against walls, talking to friends, whispering to lovers; they sat on the floor, laying there like an overflowing tub of wine at a celebration on behalf of Bacchus. She'd anticipated some level of sensuality and partying considering what she'd experienced the first day; this, however, felt like overkill.
How much farther was her room, anyhow? To her, the hall looked to go on forever. With each passing minute her irritation grew and her eyes slowly began to narrow; eventually, she came to a complete stop. Her hands were placed on her hips as she stared on down the hall. There were still people everywhere. Surely they didn't loiter this far in.
She turned around, lips twisted into a curious frown. As she spied the entrance into the larger hall where the party was she blinked, instantly noticing that she'd seemly gone only a few feet. Realization dawned on her and she lifted her hand to perform the genjutsu dispel.
"Re--," she began, only getting half the word out as something grabbed her, tugged and pulled her into the shadows of a dark aura. Her first reaction was to fight, especially when the hand that grabbed turned into two, turned into two entraping her. She tried to speak, but couldn't as the secondary hand came over her lips, muffling her.
She lifted her leg and prepared to stamp her foot down on the attacker's, hoping to distract him into loosening his grip enough for her to perform some kind of replacement technique and haul it out of there.
Her heel connected and she heard a muttered curse; sadly, it wasn't enough to get him to release her; it was enough, however, to regain partial use of one arm. She pulled it forward and threw it back, striking toward his ribs with the chakra enflamed limb. He anticipated what she was doing, but, a bit too late; as a result, the perpetrator lost his balance and they both fell.
Sakura rolled away as far as she could manage and stood, fists glowing. Not wanting to give him any time, she moved fast, attacking the place he'd been less than a second ago. A hand deflected her blow, grabbing her fist. Instantly, she moved in with the other and tried to hit his face. Again, she was deflected and stopped. She lifted her leg to kick---.
"Are you trying to kill me?" the stranger said in a distinct, droll voice that had her taking pause.
"Kakashi?"
"None other," he replied. He released her and stepped away once she relaxed her arms and lowered her leg.
She was happy it was him; admittedly, she didn't think he had to go that far. She frowned and placed her hands on her hips, voicing her thoughts. "Genjutsu? Was that really necessary?"
"Believe it or not," he replied as he lit a candle, illuminating the small room, "yes." He set it down on a shelf full of canned supplies and perched himself on an overturned bucket.
She glanced about, noting they were in some sort of storage closet."Really?" she asked, brows raising. "How was placing me---."
"There are powerful people working here," he interrupted her, tone serious. "The only way to get something past them is to be a bit creative. Working out a dual layered genjutsu that I knew even you would have trouble noticing seemed to be the best option at the time.
"As far as anyone else knows you've went to your room. In reality, the moment you stepped foot into the hallway you were trapped in the technique.
"Although, right now they're off their game," he said, referring to the party, "so that helps more than I anticipated; still, I won't delude myself into thinking Kaoru doesn't have someone watching us like hawks waiting to strike."
Sakura nodded, slowly, listening. Knowing that he used her as a base comparison in skill to those shinobi here when constructing the genjutsu left Sakura feeling a little more than simply flattered; she wondered, honestly, if this was his way of subconsciously admitting he was finally accepting her as a peer... perhaps more.
At a different time or place, not of this one, she would have told him what that meant to her; right now, though, there other matters to consider. She had a lot to tell him and she really wanted an explanation as to why he had his ANBU uniform back on.
"Have our plans changed?" she asked, pointing at it and wondering he was reconsidering staying here.
At first he looked confused, like he'd been thinking about something else; but then, he seemed to realize what she was asking. "No, a lot has happened. Kaoru doesn't plan on using me as we originally ...imagined."
"What do you mean?"
Kakashi sighed and finally looked up at her. "He wants me to work with him... as his partner, his equal. He seems to think my talents would be wasted as a concubine," he replied, the last term laced in sarcasm.
Sakura's mouth opened to speak and her brow furrowed.
"I know," he interrupted before she could say anything, "it sounds a bit too good to be true to me as well. I don't trust the offer either. But, regardless of what I do he's still going to have me watched. At least this way I have the freedom to come and go as I please."
"What did he want in return?" she asked, knowing there had to be something.
"To renounce my loyalty to Konoha and pledge it instead to him... to be with him," he muttered the last, looking away as he leaned forward, hands partially together between his spread legs.
She nodded, and stepped over to the wall closest to him. She turned and pressed her back into it. "It doesn't sound to me like you're losing anything compared to what we thought he was going to do."
Kakashi nodded. "Then again," he replied as he placed his elbows on his knees and his chin on top of his folded hands, "there's always a possibility he's being earnest."
Sakura looked down at him, brows raising again, questioning quietly in a way she knew he would notice.
Her silver-haired partner took a moment before he spoke, briefly closing his one good eye. "Kaoru's ability allows him to impress his emotions through chakra onto people; it's also what allows him get what he wants out of someone. When he lost control of it it took control of him and changed him into who he is now. It's possible that people he has particularly strong feelings for cause the ability to turn on him in such a way that his judgment becomes clouded."
Her eyes narrowed as she considered what he said. It didn't sound like a complete impossibility; however, it didn't seem like Kaoru would be able to hold so many people in attention if he were so easily swayed. "If that were true wouldn't there be less people following him willingly? If he---."
"I thought about that too," Kakashi agreed. "If what I'm saying is correct, however, I would be the only one his ability would backfire on." He looked up at her, partially lifting his head. "I'm also not saying with absolute certainty it's why he made the offer... I'm only theorizing."
She nodded, accepting that. "Alright. So, what's the plan from here?"
"Before I get into that, did anything happen to you today that I should know about?"
She briefly explained to him the situation with Kaoru in the meeting room, the fight, what he said to her in private afterward and the search for Kairi. "So far I'm doing alright. No one seems to trust me, but, no one's really testing me beyond what I'd expect them to either."
"Good, that's what we want. The less they suspect the better.
"For now we'll take our time and gain their trust. Eventually, they'll get comfortable. Kaoru will get comfortable. It's then we'll make our move. For now, just keep going on as we have."
"And us?" she asked.
"We don't interact beyond what's normal. In fact, if we're in a situation where we have to deal with one another, we make it seem as though we hate each other. They'll expect that, given how we arrived and you're supposed betrayal of me," he explained, moving to stand.
"Alright, one more question... when do we meet?"
"No more than once a week and in the same way we did tonight. The next time we do I'll make it simpler by using a symbol you'll recognize."
"Nothing too obvious," she added, agreeing with the plan. "Something they can't trace back to us or follow, either." She paused, thinking. "Seven," she finally replied. "There are numbers on all the rooms. The next time we do this just pick a room with the number seven on it and change it in some way."
He nodded. "We'll have to change it every week. That way they won't notice a pattern."
"Agreed," she accented, nodding.
"We'd both better head back," he stated, looking on at the door with a narrowed black orb. "If I'm missing too long he might start to suspect something. And you should make an effort to participate as to blend in with the rest of them."
When he started to walk away, intent on exiting the room Sakura placed a hand on his shoulder, stilling him. "Before we go... are you alright?" she asked, leveling with him now that the business of the mission was out of the way.
"I will be."
She squeezed his shoulder and then stepped around him, facing him. Her emerald depths caught his single orb of ebony in her gaze. "I'm here," she whispered, trying to read him, hoping despite the strength she was seeing him pull forth that he knew he could depend on her.
It felt good when he embraced her. The action was almost immediate, but not quick. She ran her fingers through his hair, trying to soothe the ache he couldn't express or escape.
"I love you," she whispered as they stood there. He didn't reply an that was still ok. He needed this and she knew that. The moment only drug on a bit longer and when they parted, leaving the room, she was left with the knowledge that this man... her sensei...
...he was a far better man than she ever imagine him to be.
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AN :: Wow... like... it took me almost two months to update this thing, eh? Gawd, I hate that. It was starting to grate my writer's itch. But, if you read my profile or are keeping up with Mona you know I've had school work to tie me in written and mental knots. Soooo... yeah.
Also, starting at the beginning of next year (hopefully) I'll be posting an online novel on my own website. I know many of you have expressed to me that you'd read my work if I did something original...so, I'm going to! I'm working with a local artist and website design friend and we're going to put something together. It'll be like an online comic, but... a book.. with pictures...
So, keep in touch and keep and eye out for it. Details will come as we tie more of it down. Especially if you guys like steampunk. ^,^