9. Alien Network News part 5 Final

Robin's eyemask widened; signifying that he was coming to. He looked straight up at an unfamiliar ceiling. He found his arms and legs strapped to a gurney of sorts. The room was a dark thing constructed of metal, and the ever-present smell of rust filled his nose.

Instead of a sunrise that morning, Robin got Control Freak's furry face rising into view.

"Wakey Wakey, early bird. I've got a worm to pick with you."

Robin frowned. He angrily replied, "Mmmfmmmfffmmff!!" He looked surprised. "Mfmmmfff?"

"Heheheheheheh," Control Freak gestured to his gag and chuckled. "Allow me." He stripped the tape off Robin's mouth with a riiiiiip.

"Ghhhh!!" Robin winced, spat, and gasped. "Think you might be overdoing it?"

"Oh what, are you suddenly the expert on being kidnapped?" Control Freak leapt back, landed in an office chair, and slid a spiral over towards a haphazard computer station set in the dark metal corner. "Well do fill me in on the etiquette that I should follow, my obstinate Vulcan! I'm all ears."

"For one…in these situations, I find that it's the bad guy who does most of the talking," Robin gritted his teeth.

"Quite true. I guess you read through the plot before we got to the initial action sequence," CF chattered, typing away at the computer. "Very well." He swiveled around and smirked at Robin from afar. "You're the one key I have to unlocking the ultimate secrets of Secrethood!"

"And just how do I fit that itinerary?!" Robin said, struggling in vain against his restraints.

"Why, you're holding your comrades back by just being here." Control Freak rolled over to Robin's side and said in a lower voice, "They can't imagine what dark, dirty things I could do to your vulnerable person while I have you in my grasp."

Robin raised an eyebrow. "You make it sound really…really wrong when you say it like that, you know."

Control Freak thought about it, winced himself, and conceded. "Yeah…that is a bit over the top. Ahem. Well, one thing's for sure." He blurred a hand over Robin's temple. The Boy Wonder grunted as the villain manhandled the edges of his eye-mask threateningly. "This thing can come off any minute!" CF then pointed to a red laser situated above Robin's figure. "This thing can blow it's top off any minute!" He then swiveled around and pointed to an elaborate system of cameras and studio recording equipment. "THIS STUFF can start up any minute!!"

"This is sounding a tad bit goofy for a threat."

CF glared/smiled at Robin through the corner of his eyes. "You talk as if it's nothing to you. I'll agree that, in the general sense of things, it is *nothing*. Your secret is no shot in the dark. We all know you're a short, Caucasian, dark-haired adolescent. We know you once worked in Gotham under the tutelage of the Dark Knight and thus must have lived there at one time. We also know you're an over-achiever who lays his life on the line for worthless companions."

"They are my *friends*," Robin said firmly.

"They are your weaknesses," Control Freak retorted. "And quite the same vice versa. For the protection of your worthless little secret, I'm gonna have access to a slew of GREAT SECRETS!" He spun around on his office chair, cackling. When he swiveled to a stop, he leaned forward, chuckled into a sigh, and rested his chin against a hand. "To think….Area 51…alien autopsy…biowarfare and the spread of Ebola…..all to be confirmed/denied by the simple turn of the nob."

"Where have you got Kobayashi's transistor?!" Robin barked.

"Don't ruffle your feathers so," Control Freak said effortlessly. "It's over here, inside the computer console. From here I have the system hooked up to the greatest receiver in the world. But I can't tell you much more than that. Heheheheheheheh…even if the truth's always been so close to home!"

Robin's face twisted. Then he gasped. "Of course! You're using the—mmmfffmmfmfff!"

Control Freak reapplied the gag and went back to the computer. "Showtime is almost here, Robin Hood-less! But first I'll leave a little word with your friends. They tried ever so carelessly to track you down last night. I knew it would happen all along. That's why I had to deal with them in the only language those meatheads can speak!"

Robin's eyemask wilted in horror. "Mmmmfffff…"

"It's all just a matter of time, Robin. Don't you worry. Your worthless little secret is good as hidden, cuz nothing's gonna stop the Alien Network News! Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!"

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

"Is everyone allright?"

"I'm allright."

"We are both in considerable shape of goodness."

"Speak for yourselves, y'all….ughhh…it's getting worse."

"Beast Boy, should we write you in for a Sick Day or something?"

"Whatever…just make it stop….errgggghh…"

Cyborg scratched the flesh part of his scalp and looked at the ground. The five of us had gathered once again at the gates of the Tower. It was morning with the dim light of day. We formed an awkward circle right beside where the T-Car was parked in front of the steps to our headquarters. The warm air lingered around us as our temporary android leader attempted to think up a new course of action and Beast Boy looked about to collapse with the way he was moaning and rubbing his aching head.

"It was so simple a clue to capture Control Freak," Cyborg said off-handedly. "He knew we'd look for an advantage to take him up on his trademark superficiality."

"Let's not forget his parting speech," Raven mentioned. "He said he was not merely what he appeared on the outside."

"I thought when villains reformed, they changed from their bad ways…instead of changing into worse ways," Starfire remarked.

"Villains are villains," Beast Boy managed to say between gurgles. "They always have been and always will be. Can we call it a rap now? Ughhh…"

"Giving up on Robin so soon?" Raven quirped.

"My head's killing me. I think we should rethink who we're rescuing here…"

Raven rolled her eyes. "It's a headache…deal with it."

Just then, everyone's communicator went off. Including mine. Curious, we looked at each other as if to see which of us was calling who.

Starfire blinked and jumped with a sense of hope. "Robin??"

Cyborg shook his head. "We're not that lucky." He opened his communicator with a Star Trek sound, and we all followed suit. "What is it now, Control Freak?"

"Just an update, you droid dunce," Control Freak's holo-image smirked. "I'm hours away from unraveling the greatest national secrets ever. And I'd better not get any more interference from your numskulls than you've already caused!"

"Interference?? What are you talking about?!" Cyborg bluffed.

"Don't play the part of the inferior Class M Planetoid Civilization!!" CF stuck his tongue out and grinned. "I know you went after my diversion. You guys really think 2-dimensionally, don't you?"

"It hasn't occurred to us," Cyborg said. "Why don't you come over and visit. We'll all get to know each other in any dimension you'd like."

"No can do, cyberpunk! I'm gonna tell you only one thing. Back off from my plans, or Robin will become featherless! I'll pluck every fiber of his ego out bit by bit. It'll be a gruesome fate for a Titan, not without its similarity to Prometheus' liver. But what do you all know?! Do your homework! Ha ha!!"

"Someone make him shut up…," Beast Boy urped.

"You will do no such thing to Robin!" Starfire exclaimed into the communicator. "We will stop your meanie meanness before you have a chance to be mean to him!"

"Congrats, little girl. You won the Ultimate Lameness Award! Once I hack into the Pentagon's reserved archives concerning EMP space rifles, I'll turn the lights out in your whole district and laugh at the thought of you peeing in your bed! Prick me, and do I not kick ass?! This is your new global leader of information, Control Freak, signing out! Live long and MMORPG!!"

And with that, his face blipped off the comunicators' screens.

"Maybe you were a little….up front with him?" Raven asked, glaring at Starfire.

"Rggggh!" Cyborg tossed his communicator to the ground. "That tears it! There's gotta be something we're overlooking! Something simple! An answer to just how Control Freak's able to broadcast everywhere so effortlessly!"

"Well, we're back to square one," Raven said. "Noir's genius plan didn't lead us anywhere."

I frowned.

"And just what are we gonna do?!?! There're too many signals and frequencies to follow!!" Cyborg exclaimed.

"We could run a thorough search using the computer," Starfire said. "I am sure that if we put all our heads together—"

"It's totally impossible, I'm telling you!! Control Freak's finally got a one-up over us! And the clock's ticking. There's nothing we can do!!"

"UGGGGH!!" Beast Boy clutched his head. His knees banged together. "I….I-I can't take it!! So….painful….annoying…." Suddenly, the changeling turned into a green bloodhound and howled desperately at the moon before rolling on the ground, barking its head off.

"………………," we all stared.

"Okay…..," Raven remarked. "What's he doing, and why's he doing it??"

"Wait a minute….," Cyborg said in a low voice. "Beast Boy is…."

Starfire gasped. "It is just like the dogs! Something is causing him to act as though he is irritated!"

Beast Boy turned back into a kneeling elf. "You think?!?!?" he clutched his head.

Cyborg squatted beside him. "Tell us again when your headache started."

"Ugh…..o-on the way back from Kobayashi Tower."

"Was it right after Robin was taken?"

"An hour or so after…..it began so suddenly."

Cyborg stood up and fingered a few buttons on his titanium forearm. A panel lit up with a frequency distribution.

"HA! I thought so!" he said.

"What is it?" Raven asked, getting on her tip toes to look at Cyborg's panel.

"There is a constant, low level vibration in the air. It's all around us!"

I cocked my head, listening curiously.

"This is not normal?" Starfire asked.

"This frequency is constant and shows a pattern. It's very much synthetic and constructed…not like the normal chaotic frequencies that I've recorded before."

"How come you just notice it now?" Raven asked.

"Because I wasn't looking for sound waves before."

"You mean….," Starfire put her hands to her chin.

"Control Freak is using a sonic signal," Cyborg said. "It's something even I've read up on in conspiracy theories. The government has these secret sound systems in strategic places throughout the continent that emit specific, key sound waves across long distances that a large, inconspicuous receiver can detect and transmit into data."

"It's like ringing a huge bell across the nation," Raven suggested.

"Exactly….only this sound is so evenly displaced that living things can't hear it. Control Freak must be amplifying the signal somehow using the transistor he stole when he left Kobayashi Tower with Robin. Kobayashi's men must have been working on a way to commercially use sonic transmission when the government asked them to hold their horses."

"But Control Freak has no intention on 'gripping the multitude of equine'?" Starfire remarked.

Cyborg shook his head. "In order to pirate the secret government information, he has to be using a large receiver to produce a sonic transmission of equal distribution back towards the sources of the sonic waves. The result is an amplification of the signal that the very receiver he's using picks up. That is how the government's transmissions supplies him with information."

"And that amplification is too quiet for us to hear," Starfire said. Then looked over at Beast Boy. "But earthling dogs and animals are prone to its effect."

"Glad I could be of help," Beast Boy remarked sickly, resisting the urge to vomit as he rubbed his head.

"What kind of a receiver are we talking about?" Raven said to Cyborg.

"Something ghetto, considering the time and resources Control had in limitation."

"Ghetto??" Starfire asked.

"Big and obvious. Really big and obvious."

"Like what? An antenna?"

"A lightning rod?"

"No," Cyborg shook his head. "Bigger."

"A skyscraper?"

"A bridge pylon?"

"Almost…but I don't see how any in our city could be useful in that way…."

I scratched my head. Then froze. And looked up….up….up….

"…..," Cyborg looked at me. He turned around and looked up.

So did Starfire and Raven. Even a sickly Beast Boy.

Silence.

"You…have got to be kidding me," Raven remarked.

We were all looking at the looming structure of the Titan Tower above us.

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

In the kitchen unit, Raven filled a glass with water. She planted it squarely on the counter. She beheld it as tiny reverberations grew in the water and rippled outward from the center.

"That confirms it," Raven said, then looked up at us. "The Teen Tower is vibrating."

"V-Vibrating??" Beast Boy said, looking even greener as he stared at the shaking glass of water. "How?"

"The tallest skyscrapers sway as much as over a foot from the center of their foundations," Cyborg explained. "In fact, they're built to do that. Any more solid, and they'd break under the constant stress of air and wind at high altitudes."

"The Teen Tower is no exception?" Starfire inquired.

"Exactly…," Cyborg nodded. "Even more so, in fact. The Teen Tower was constructed to resist hurricanes, earthquakes, and all other sorts of elemental disasters that a superpowerful villain could wield upon us."

I nodded.

"But….just h-how is Control Freak doing this…TO OUR OWN HOME?!?!" Beast Boy cackled.

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

I opened the cellar door and led the way down the stairs into the bottom shadows of the Tower. The others followed suit, with Starfire trembling at the familiar creepiness of the setting and Cyborg shining a flashlight built into his torso. We looked around a bit, then I spotted something and pointed it out to Cyborg. He set his light upon it.

"Well I'll be damned…," he walked forward and pressed his palm against a huge metallic plate set against one of the support structures of the Tower. "It's this thing allright. And I bet there're a couple of other, identical ones planted all throughout this area."

"What are they exactly?" Raven asked.

"No real definition. They're just huge metal boxes with whirling cylinders in them. I think they're used for some theme park rides or something. Whatever they are, they're all attached to the support pylons of the Tower and are shaking in unison. Control Freak must have them on a wireless signal to respond to his every command and amplify the sonar transmissions in any way he so chooses."

"How did he get in here to plant them?" Starfire asked, paranoid.

"The heck if I know," Cyborg shrugged.

"The man can turn plants into tentacle monsters with the click of a remote," Raven said. "I'm sure it's not beyond him to walk through walls."

"Why don't we just destroy these things and be done with it?!" Beast Boy remarked, swiftly turning into a green rhino to emphasize his point.

"No! Don't!" Cyborg jumped in front of him. "If we cut off the signal, we cut off Control Freak's access to the transmissions."

"And that means he will do bad things to Robin!" Starfire mourned.

The green elf reappeared. "Well we gotta do something!! Just being down in here is wanting me to tear off my head and call it a night!! Do you know what it's like having sensitive, pointed ears?!?!"

"We're green with envy…," Raven droned.

"Not even funny!" Beast Boy frowned. "And that means a lot coming from me!"

"There's gotta be something we can do, now that we know Control Freak's secret…," Cyborg said.

I glanced at Starfire.

She thought aloud. "If we cannot cut off Control Freak's transmissions……maybe there is a we can duplicate it?"

Everyone looked at Starfire.

She grinned. "Dear friends! I have concocted a plan!"

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

"Here's the drill, Noir…," Cyborg said, handing a detector to me and patting me on the shoulder. "You're gonna be our reconnaissance man. But we have to work together."

I nodded.

"Starfire, Raven, and Beast Boy will be playing part of the farce to throw Control Freak off," he gestured behind to an assortment of fake medical trays, operating equipment, a bed, and a white sheet backdrop set up against a side of the Main Room. "I'm going to operating the camera, the communicator, and the frequency reader. So I'll be doing three things at once; recording the three, looking for transmission signals from Control Freak, and relaying the direction of his location to you."

I smiled and pocketed the detector.

"Nobody here is quite as fast as you are. You must understand, Noir. We're gonna be using the Tower against Control Freak and sending electronic symbols to him. You think you can catch up with electrons?"

I bit my lip and shrugged.

"Well…better than the rest of us. Follow the circuits where me and the detector tell you. The detector should beep rapidly the closer you are to the pirated signal heading Control Freak's way. Once you find him, contact us and try to free Robin. We're gonna nail this guy using his own devices!" Cyborg grinned.

I bet he felt like a genius…even if Starfire technically thought it all up.

"You guys ready over there?" Cyborg turned around and asked.

Raven stood stoically as Starfire busied herself around her, attiring the dark girl in a white surgeon's outfit.

"I….am not….an actress," Raven complained lowly.

"Nonsense, Raven!" Starfire beamed in her face and applied a surgical cap. "You are marvelous at portraying yourself as cold, insensitive, and downright apathetic towards life in general!"

"…..," Raven stared. "But that's how I really feel about life."

Starfire blinked. "Oh…..er….w-well then….all the more realistic performance!"

Raven rolled her eyes and sighed. "Heaven help us all…"

"Hey!" Beast Boy sat up straight from the cloth-covered hospital 'bed' he was in. "I'm the one with the splitting migraine, and yet I'm still able to play the part! Who're you to complain, Raven?!"

"Just shut up and grow tentacles already."

"Yes, Beast Boy," Starfire said through a surgical mask she put on. "You're not supposed to be human in this scene."

"I'm not gonna be anything sane for long if we don't get this done right! You're sure this plan will hit it off, Starfire?"

"Oh, most undoubtedly, Beast Boy! The 'hitting of the off' shall consume merrily with this experiment! We are ready to perform when you are ready, Cyborg."

Cyborg saluted me. "Get ready, Noir. Control Freak is bound to scan the Tower's sonic transmissions at any second!"

I saluted back and opened a nearby window.

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

A Klingon dagger reached '12' on the clockface. Control Freak looked up from his watch and smirked. He leaned back in his chair, cracked his knuckles, and sighed happily. "It…is time."

"Mmmmffffmmff!!" Robin protested.

"Oh hush up and enjoy the show!" CF stuck his tongue out at him. "You're about to see the unveiling of a hitherto forgotten history….or present!" He typed a blur on his computer keyboard and then turned a dial on the device holding Kobayashi's transistor. "Let's see what wonderful half truth we run into first! Accessing strongest frequency!!"

Robin watched helplessly as a nearby monitor switched on, displaying static and snow as Control Freak worked hard to intercept a secret video file in the sonic airwaves.

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

Cyborg caught the waves of pulsing transmissions coming towards the Tower and requesting feedback. He turned a dial on the computer and routed the information request through another network. He then fixed that network to the very same digital camera he had in front of him…and started filming.

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

Control Freak's monitor flickered once…twice….

He jumped in his seat emphatically. "Come on! Come on!!"

More flickering. More static.

Impatient, he subconsciously ripped open a Butterfinger and started eating. "Mmmrrrmmm…mmrrrmmm….any second now….any second now….any second….now!"

There was a flicker that resembled two figures against a wall of white, but was gone again.

"Dag nabbit!!!" the fatty villain waddled. "You rebel scum!! I'll teach you to break up on me!" He frantically fiddled with the keyboard and the controls. The picture became clearer. There were two female bodies standing over a table. Everything about them and the setting was a blindingly clean white.

"…ha….e…ade….th….nal….ision….t?"

"Come on….Come on Come on COME ON!!!"

Control Freak growled and kicked the monitor.

PBBZZZ!!

The picture came in clean.

Control Freak gasped.

The secret government footage on the monitor showed two petite women hovering over an autopsy table. One was taller than the other and seemed to be leading the proceedings. The shorter one looked up at her companion as a conversation ensued. Both identities were hidden by surgical gowns and masks.

"No, not yet, my formal colleague and assistant…," said the tall one dramatically. "Even if this creature on the autopsy table before us is a being from another planet, we must wait for the phone call from the House of White of the United States to give us a final word before we can cut into its exotic exoskeleton!!!"

"Ohhhhhhh man…..an alien autopsy! Jackpot!!" Control Freak grinned a crescent moon. "Oh man…Oh man Oh man Oh man Oh man…" He spun around and smiled at Robin. "Are you seeing this??"

Robin looked at the screen, blinked behind his mask, and went bug-eyed. "Mmmfmmfff???!!!" (Starfire???!!!)

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

"But we must know of these…er…creatures' backgrounds sooner or later, Doctor," spoke 'Nurse Raven'. "After all, the invasion is only a few days away and the Star Wars program isn't ready to…um….blast the Mother Ship away…"

"Oh what a tragic universe we live in when nothing but bloodshed abounds before us!!" whoahed 'Doctor Starfire' with an elbow pressed against her temple.

Raven stomped on her foot.

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

"Owchie!!" the tall doctor jumped.

Control Freak blinked. "Owchie?!"

"What's wrong, Doctor??" growled the nurse.

"Um….it must be the….psychotic telepathy of the aliens all around us………..um…….here in…um….THE INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT OF THE DENVER!!!"

CF's jaw dropped. "So that's what they have hidden under there! And all this time I thought it was a dark project of amber cleansing. Whew…that makes me feel good. I can deal with alien psychosis anyday." He turned around and winked at Robin. "I was born in Florida," he whispered, as if that would explain everything.

"Mmmfffmmmmfffmmfmfmmmfff!" (This is nuts!)

"Lemme just improve the reception a bit…," Control Freak adjusted a nob.

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

As Starfire and Raven continued the charade, Cyborg filmed them and monitored a receiver at the same time. He caught wind of Control Freak's receding signals, and signaled to me.

I signaled back, dropped out of the high window, and scampered on blurred feet down the Tower. I leapt and soared over the surface of water, following the detector as it lead me directly over a line of underwater cables. I was heading North, straight towards the Bay area of the City. I pushed my powers to the maximum, not wanting to lose a single breath of speed.

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

"Doctor, why are you sweating?"

"As you well know, my faithful assistant, it is hot down here underground and beneath the Airport. Oxygen is short, which explains why the government only hired female scientists to work on aliens because of the small volume of air consumption in our feminine lungs!"

"Whoaaaaaaaaah," Control Freak's sparkled. "That makes so much sense. Why didn't I think of that? Better not piss off my date again, or else she could kill off an entire species."

Robin banged his head against the gurney.

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

I followed the beeping of the detector. It suddenly lapsed, and I twisted my blurred movement to meet with the change accordingly. I looked up and gasped as I found myself streaking straight towards a sailboat. The pilots on board jumped in each other's arms and screamed.

I launched a plume of smoke beneath my heels and vaulted over them, water spraying on either side of me. I came back down, scampered for a second or two, and continued dashing over water.

The detector beeped a little less…a little more….less…and more again.

I zig-zagged to maintain the high tempo of the signal, and eventually found myself heading for the shopping plaza by the bay. Thus came the first obstacle I had never before encountered due to my hitherto, stealth form of movement.

People.

I brought my arms back, summoned up dark energy, and veritably turned my whole body into smog form. Thus I inked in and around the people, streaking over cars and whirling around shopping vendors in the blink of an eye. By the time I had passed through, every pedestrian or driver batted an eye and barely caught sight of me. It disoriented them a little, but it was a risk I had to take. I couldn't lose the signal.

The pursuit took me zooming down an alleyway, up walls, and finally over rooftops.

I felt a bit more comfortable as I headed after the network of wires and the directions of the detector. Ahead of me was the East.

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

"Shouldn't we be…um…hearing word from the 'president' yet?" questioned the nurse.

"It is only a matter of time before the phone call gets here," said the doctor.

A pause.

"I said, it is only a matter of time before the phone call gets here!!"

What followed was the sound of a telephone ringing which suspiciously resembled the warbling effect coming from the lips of an African American android.

"….um….the telephone, Doctor."

"Praise be to Dog!"

"God."

"Ahem, --sorry--." The doctor reached out of the camera shot and put a phone to her red head. "Yes? Mmmmhmmm? Oh dearie me, is that so? Well, yes of course, Mr. President."

She simply dropped the phone and mourned vividly. "Oh what a tragic circle of the human race this is. We must cut open a thing we do not understand and extend our knowledge beyond the infinite that is the known universe."

"What a….pity…," the nurse droned.

"Why, you do not seem remorseful, my faithful assistant! Do you not know that this is a living breathing alien we are about to lacerate into minute quarters—"

"Here's the scalpel," the nurse handed the doctor a silver instrument.

"…..very well then, alas," the doctor said and took the item in a shaking hand.

A pause.

"Well?!?!?!" the nurse exclaimed.

"I am deciding the best place to cut it open."

"Start with your wrists and work your way from there."

"…..I beg your pardon?"

"Ahem…sorry….um…alien psychosis…"

"Telepathy."

"Whatever. What were we doing again?"

"Alien autopsy under the airport of the Denver—"

"Right. Let's cut."

Control Freak stared with saucer-wide eyes. "It's….It's….I-It's the steroids! Even female officials are so pumped up with experimental testosterones, they have no choice but to fight with each other! And the alien telepathy and---GASP!! THE PRESIDENT MUST BE AN ALIEN TOO!! HE WANTS HIS GALACTIC BRETHREN CUT TO PIECES SO THAT HE CAN INHERIT THE NITROGEN SUPPLY OF THE EARTH!! This is pure gold!! Pure, informational gold—AW CRAP! I better make sure I'm recording!"

Meanwhile, Robin whimpered.

And meanwhile…

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

The sun glistened as I gritted my teeth and leapt over two full blocks of urban sprawl. The detector beeped rapidly then lessened. I realized I had to make a right turn, and quick. I dashed to the right and met a wall. I ran up to the second story and felt the detector lessening again. I grabbed a clothesline and swung myself up and in through an open window. A family in front of a television gasped as I dashed through their living room, blurred, and smoked under their door. I was running down an apartment hallway, following the signal. A right turn. I jumped off a wall, slid on tile, and blurred on my feet again. I gasped. A woman with a baby stroller shrieked in front of me. I ran up the wall and onto the ceiling—barely avoiding her—before flipping off, landing upright, and bursting through the door of a stairwell. The detector beeping, I bounced up the stairwell from wall to wall till I reached the top door and burst through onto roof level. I soared past a couple of roof-picnicking families with a barbecue grill and leapt off the side—sailing over a man made canal—and landing in an industrial complex on the other side.

The detector beeped in recognition of a string of wire on poles overhead. I took a breath as I blurred beneath the cords, soaring after whatever destination the network provided for me.

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

"Now, fair assistant, please…um…hold down the…..er….sternum as I make the first incision," the Doctor said.

The Nurse reached her gloved hands into the center of the white-cloth-covered bed while the Doctor reached in with shaking hands holding a tiny blade.

Suddenly, a throng of green tentacles exploded from the bed and enveloped the cutting hand of the Doctor and the neck of the Nurse.

"EEEEEK!!!" both females shrieked.

"Blllmmbbbbbmmmaaaa!!!" cried the 'alien'.

"Duuuude!" Control Freak pumped his arm. "I was *so* right!! Aliens DO look like squid!!"

"He……seems……to be agitated," grunted the Nurse. Her eyes above the surgical mask burned a glare at the very alien manhandling her.

"Oh he is!! Oh he is indeed!!" the female Doctor lamented while in the grasp of the emerald, extraterrestrial mollusk. "He is angry for he knows that the universe is a mortal thing that is here today but like the lilies of the field are thrown tomorrow into the Fart!"

"Fire!"

"FIRE!!"

"BLLLLmmmMMMBAAAA!!!!!" the alien shook the three shrieking doctors.

"I think it has a headache…," the Nurse droned.

"BLMMB!" a green tentacle dropped her hard to the floor.

"OW!! Why you little—" the Nurse jumped back up and proceeded to attempt strangling the squid alien, but the Doctor blocked her with a hand.

"Lovely assistant! Guard your temper so! The more wrath you feed into him the more….um….of the black Jedi force….er….you'll absorb???"

Control Freak did a double take. "Black Jedi Force?"

"Mmmfmmm! Mmmfmmm!" Robin shook behind him.

The villain looked behind his shoulder and beamed. "Are you GETTING THIS?!?!?!"

"MMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmfffff!!!"

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

"You're almost there…," Cyborg's voice whispered through my communicator. "The detector appears to be taking you to the shipyard in the Eastern half of the Bay. I can just bet Control Freak's there somewhere! And Robin too!!"

I nodded…and nodded….and nodded. I almost wished he could see my face so he could just shut up for a second.

I was busy blurring and dashing up and over moored fishing craft and private yachts. As I neared the more industrial half of the marinas, I came across huge rusted ghost ships and tankers and oil rigs. One tanker in particular was straight in my path as the detector blinked and vibrated like mad.

I furrowed my brow.

This must be it.

I lowered my body into the water I was parting with my sprint, blurred my legs, and leapt mightily up into the air, over the edge of the tanker, and onto the deck. I slid to a stop on the rusty surface and beheld my detector.

It blinked faster than a hummingbird's wings.

Yup…must definitely be it.

I found a hatch. I ran, jumped, flipped, and flew straight down—smashing through the door and landing loudly in the hollow cargo room of the tanker. I gripped the handle to Myrkstaff and looked around the dark surroundings in a crouched, ready position.

Everything around me was rusted. A huge pool of water formed in the center of the grand interior. Over it dangled pieces of cargo and submersible craft on cranes and rusted hulks of metal chain. I looked around for a sign of life.

Or light…

I reached a hand to my face and slipped my shades off. I blinked around at the surroundings, my solid-black eyes reflecting the shades. Everything was comfortable and dark, except for one spot that my vision kept. A dagger of light atop a long set of metal stairs stabbed into my eyes from afar.

Control Freak…

I whisped over to the bottom of the stairs and slowly crept up the steps, my back to the metal wall. As I ascended, I gradually heard the familiar voices of Starfire, Raven, and Beast Boy in their telecommunicated skit. Just a few more steps, and I was at the top of the stairs—peering into the room. I saw a set of automatic doors leading into a grand hallway and a small inlet for a bathroom stall. But within the center of the room was Control Freak. And in the center of the room was a gurney. And on top of that gurney was Robin. And aiming at that gurney was a red laser.

I gulped and looked closely at Control Freak. The rotund villain was practically falling over in his seat at the happiness wafting through him in witness to the 'information' being disclosed. I couldn't help but grimace at the acting job my three fellow Titans were performing, but nevertheless found this an opportune time to radio back to Cyborg the whereabouts of Robin.

I picked up my communicator, muted it on my end, and quietly pressed a button down that would give Cyborg the signal he needed.

….If only we all thought ahead of time how loud that signal would be.

--Beep Beep Beep Beep!!--

A repetitious sound emanated from the background of the scene on the monitor.

All three; the Doctor, the Nurse, and the green Squid Alien froze.

Cyborg's unmistakable voice gulped in the distance. "Uhh………he found 'em……"

"!!!!!" the Doctor gasped. "Robin!!" She swiftly shed her surgical outfit and flew out of the shot.

Control Freak popped an artery. He blinked and sweatdropped. "R-R-Robin???" He spun around.

I bit my lip, and dove.

WOOOOSH!!

I blurred into the room, unsheathed Myrkblade, and severed the tip of the red laser all in one blink.

SMASSSH!!

I spun around and swiftly, unmercifully lifted the gag from Robin's mouth.

RRRRRRRRRP!!!

"Ugh!" Robin shook and grinned wide to see me. "Noir!! You came to rescue me---AACK!!"

I kicked his gurney hard, forcing it to soar on wheels out into the hallway. I then leapt and slashed at a console on the wall. The automatic doors slammed down, protecting the bound Robin on the other side as I spun around to face Control Freak one on one.

"NOOOO!!!' He shouted and stood from his seat.

I raised Myrkblade, frowned, and soared at him.

A wet spot instantly formed in his pants. An eye-bulging Control Freak ducked out of the way.

I flew beyond him and slashed the monitors and computer equipment parts into sparkling debris.

ZZZZZZZZTTTT!!-SMASH!!!!

I turned around and my jaw dropped.

Control Freak was reaching for the transistor in a surviving computer panel.

I slid on the ground and jumped up with a swinging uppercut of Myrblade.

CF's hand retracted with the item in question just milliseconds before I could slash the equipment in half.

The rotund man then kicked me hard in the unguarded chest.

I flew back and tripped over his office chair. I slammed to the ground with stars circling my head.

"What a Romulan technique…," CF frowned. He tossed Kobayashi's transistor into his pocket and whipped out the Darth Maul lightsaber. BZZZZZZ!!! He held the two glowing blades out at arm's length and spat at me. "Prepare to join Dreamcast in the grave!!"

With that, he charged at me, flipping his entire fat body with a whirl of lightsaber fury.

I kicked the chair at him, which burned in half from his blows but bought me enough time to scamper out of the way, gather my footing, run up the wall, flip off, and swipe his legs out from under him.

"UGH!!" he grunted. Sweating, he pivoted around and kicked me hard in the side. "That's not very NICE!!"

WHUMP!!!

I flew back—out of the doorway leading into the room—and back into the huge interior of the tanker. My back slammed against the railing, and I uncontrollably tumbled down the full length of the stairs. I expertly blurred the parts of my body that contacted the metal steps so as to not suffer too great an injury.

I reached the bottom back-first with my legs spread up on the last few steps. No sooner was I wincing when I heard a double-chinned warcry from above.

I looked through a pair of sweat-stained shades to see Control Freak jump from the top of the stairs. His legs spread out, contacting each rail, and sliding his posing body downward. He stretched the double-sided lightsabre ahead of him, spinning like a propeller directly down at my prone body. On the cutting path.

The air heated between us.

I lifted Myrkblade and blocked both edges of the saber at the last second. I twisted my wrist, locking my weapon with his, and lifted my legs—which lifted his body, and vaulted him over me and smashing through the glass windshield of an abandoned submarine craft a couple meters off by the pool.

I sprung my legs and jumped into a fighting position just as an angry Control Freak sliced his lightsabred way out from the rusted innards of the submarine and gritted his teeth at me, panting.

"You…all…ruined…my search….for truth!"

I gripped Myrkblade, held the weapon up high, and gestured him to come at me.

"As much as I'd love to…," he smirked and whipped out a dastardly remote control with a free hand. "I'd much rather stand here and watch you turn into a brainless zombie!!!!"

My black eyes bulged under the shades. I ducked right as he clicked.

ZAP!!!!

The wall behind me fell out in a circle and rolled towards me like a buzz saw.

I rolled to the side and watched as CF took aim again.

ZAP!!!

I pushed Myrkblade into the metal ground, pushed, and flipped myself up in time to avoid. Dust on the ground got struck by Control Freak's utensil and turned into a dust devil that approached me.

I landed, slid for a moment, and ran the entire length of the wall.

Control Freak laughed his head off ("AH HA HA HA HA HA!!!") and clicked rapidly on the remote control.

ZAP!!! ZAP!! ZAP!! ZAP!!!!

The impacts of the infernal device trailed at my heels. Rusted buckets, cargo boxes, oil rags, and globs of soot turned into animated creatures and leapt at my feet as I streaked by.

Control Freak got smart and aimed a bit ahead of me.

A deep sea diving suit got struck by the device and stood up to face me. I realized to my shock that behind him was nothing but a wall and open water in the pool below.

I gritted my teeth, jumped, and landed on the shoulders of the outfit trying to grab me. I leapt again and impacted the wall over the pool. I blurred across its horizontal stretch before leaping off and landing safely on the other platform beyond the pool.

"From downtown!!" Control Freak cackled, spun, and aimed directly above me.

I ducked, winced, and realized I wasn't struck. A clinking sound took place above me. I glanced up and gasped as a living string of metal chains snaked down and circled around me. Before I knew it, I was being suffocated from the torso up by a boa constrictor made of rusted chains.

"Whenever I think of the word Titan…," Control Freak smirked upwards as he slowly sauntered towards me, lackadaisically spinning his lightsaber, "…I always envision the NASA rocket that exploded during so much testing. Well, my fellow Titan, it's time for you to crash and burn!!"

With that said, he reared the lightsabre and prepared to toss its two spinning energy blades of death at my suffocating figure.

I bit my lip, squinted my eyes beneath my shades, and gripped hard to the hilt of Myrkstaff. I summoned the endless streams of destruction up through my limbs and built up a bubble of darkness before unleashing it in one dying breath.

FLASH!!!!!!!

Murk and smoke warbled outward, sending superheated shrapnel of rusted chains soaring every which way.

"AUGH!!!" Control Freak was blinded in mid throw and fell back to the ground. His two-edged lightsaber went sailing aimlessly towards the ceiling of the tanker's dark interior.

A cloud of smoke and burning chains faded, and my figure dropped to the ground. No sooner had I landed that I glanced up and saw the mid air weapon. I dashed to the side, jumped off a railing, bounced off a hanging platform of cargo, flipped, and sailed down onto the rotating weapon with Myrkblade slashing directly downward.

CRACK!!!

I snapped the lightsabre in two. The two glowing halves spun down to the ground and lodged into the metal just inches away from Control Freak's underarms. He gasped—not so much at the close call—but at my figure sailing down at him with the warbling blade of darkness.

He snaked his arms expertly, grabbed the brand new hilts of the lightsabre halves, and raised both blades up to lock with Myrkblade just as I landed. He shoved me back and got to his feet. Thus he proceeded to spin his rotund body around, taking separate swipes at me with both severed sabers. I almost regretted slashing his weapon in half, in that I had made the fat man twice as dangerous.

He swung at my head.

I ducked and jabbed forward.

He deflected Mrykblade down so that it dug into the metal and slashed both blades forward.

I leapt back, forcing him to slice a chunk out of the metal railing adjacent to the pool.

I spun about and swung Myrkblade down onto another end of the railing. A cylinder of rusted metal broke free, which I promptly flipped and down-kicked. It sailed into Control Freak's shoe, bounced off painfully and promptly deflected the left handed saber half out of his grasp.

"Ow…OW!!!!" he jumped back, hobbling on his right leg and shaking his left hand.

The one half of the lightsabre splashed into the pool, where it boiled for a while and died out.

I gritted my teeth and approached him, Mrykblade swinging.

He regained his pained footing and blocked with whatever saber he had left.

The poolside lit up with smog and red ruby saber light as we duked it out. I slashed downwards and he blocked. He jabbed at me and I twirled to the side to get him down below. We deflected and dodged and meandered around each other in such a way that seemed unnatural of a boy wearing shades in the dark and an overweight Trekkie. But halfway through the battle—which was very real—sweat covered our skins, and I knew this had to be finished.

So I charged up destruction for a blow that would completely knock him out. But it was a second too much wasted.

Control Freak stepped back and smirked.

Before I could find out what was so funny, a pair of heavy metal arms grabbed my neck from behind, and I was forced out of my meditative charging of Myrkblade. The deep sea diving suit—animated via CF's remote—had joined the fray to keep me at bay while its master had a chance to strike.

"On behold of Alien Network News…," Control Freak chirped and raised his saber to decapitate me. "Consider yourself yesterday's headlines."

I frowned at him. With a gasp I tossed Myrkblade deep into the metal between and behind the diving suit's legs. I then planted my ankles into the lower legs of the creature choking me, and sprung my lower body upwards with full force. I flipped out of the creature's grasp and raised myself over its shoulders just as Control Freak swung his saber.

SLASH!!!!

The thick metal head of the diving suit came off—instead of mine—and when I landed behind the dead golem, I grabbed the helmet in question and kicked its torso straight at Control Freak.

The trekkie was caught off guard, but growled and slashed through the careening suit with his lightsabre nonetheless. For a second, one could see his snarling face before I promptly spun and tossed the thirty-pound helmet directly into it.

WHANG!!!

CF fell back with a thud, his nose bleeding.

I gripped Myrkblade out of the ground, took a breath, and ran straight at him—holding the blade down on a sparkling cutting path.

He rolled to the side and kicked the broadside of my weapon, upsetting my balance long enough to give me another kick—this time to the rear. I was sent sprawling rather embarrassingly head-first into a metal barrel, where I got temporarily stuck.

"!!!!"

Control Freak stood up, dusted himself off, and once again raised his saber. "Well then…just where are you without your lousy friends, Strider?!"

As if on cue, a set of rusted doors creaked open, and their stood Robin. The Boy Wonder grinned and rubbed his limbs—which he had somehow freed from the gurney. "Noir! Great news! I got loose! Now where's that obese butthead so that we can beat him---erp!"

"HA!!!" Control Freak aimed his remote at my leader and clicked.

ZAP!!!!

Robin's whole body flinched……but nothing happened. He rose his eyes over his elbow and glanced down at himself. "…..okay."

"Don't feel relieved yet, my dear prisoner," CF grinned. "I just couldn't help but notice, that fashion statement of yours is positively voracious."

"Huh?!?!" Robin glanced down at his costume. Suddenly, a grotesque eyelid opened in place of the 'R' insignia. The neckline of his shirt formed drooling teeth and opened up like a mouth to bite down on the neck coming out of it.

"RGGGHHH!!" Robin clamped his hands around the 'lips' of the costume's serrated 'mouth' and fought his own clothing for survival.

"Hey Robin! Are you Sure?! Or Unsure?! Ha ha ha ha ha!!" the villain laughed and spun his weapon.

A starbolt sailed down suddenly from the ceiling.

FLASH!!!

The lightsabre was deflected out of Control Freak's grasp and singed to death in the corner of the tanker room.

The fat man gasped and looked up at a fresh hole in the ceiling.

Starfire hovered, her eyes glowing menacingly green, and aimed two more glowing wrists at the villain's prone figure. "Your broadcast…ends….here…."

"Starfire!!" Robin struggled against the man-eating costume he was wearing. "Help!!!"

"Pfft! You call that a finishing line?!?!" CF cackled up at the Tamaranian. "Look sister, as long as I have this here remote, your precious teammate can just kiss his neck goodbye! The battle is loss! Go home to your alien squids and stupid 'airport of the Denver' and—"

WOOOOSH-SLINK!!!!

Myrkblade flew at Control Freak, sliced through the remote control in his hand, and carried it over to where the weapon embedded into the rusted wall. CF watched as the skewered device sparkled, smoked, and died.

The animated buckets and soot and dust collapsed to the ground.

The mouth of Robin's costume fell limp on his shoulders. The boy stopped struggling and wiped his brow with a sigh of relief.

Control Freak gulped.

I had finally made my way out of the blasted bucket. I looked up, smiled, and saluted at Starfire.

Starfire saluted down, smiling as sweet at can be, and suddenly sailed downwards to tear ass on Control Freak.

"Mommy!!!!" the villain flinched.

I watched from afar. Green light lit up the room. I winced at what I saw. A cry and a flash of emerald. I flinched and covered my shades. More flashing. More smacking sounds. I snuck a look, wished I hadn't, and looked away. Finally, after the ordeal was over and silence returned to the room, I lowered my arms and looked hesitantly.

Starfire stood over a smoking Control Freak on the floor, her hands on her hips. "And 'let that lesson be unto you'!!" she scolded.

"Ugggggggghhhh," the villain groaned, his eyes swirling.

"Um….n-nice work, Starfire," Robin stuttered.

Starfire spun around, grinning throughout the extremities of her lower cranium. "Robin! I am elated to see you in your full, functioning goodness!!"

"Yes, good job. Control Freak got what he----WHOAH!!!"

Starfire had rushed over and was now giving him and his transmogrified costume a deep, girlish hug. "Hehehehehe!" she giggled. "I was sooooo worried. I bet it doesn't show, does it??"

Robin strained for breath. "I had no idea….—croak---…seriously."

"Robin!! Boo-ya!!" Cyborg leapt down from the hole above, followed by a floating Raven and a green falcon. "I knew everything would work perfectly!!"

"Actually, he was sweating bullets…," Raven said with a tiny grin. She looked down at Control Freak's pulverized body and the rest of the room in disarray. "Um….what happened?"

I walked over to the wall, removed my blade, and showed them the skewered remote control.

"Impressive," the dark girl nodded. "Do that around the Tower more often and it'd get Cyclops and Beast Boy to shut up."

"Hey!!" said an elf dropping down behind her.

Starfire smiled proudly at Robin. "We realized that Control Freak was using the Tower as a receiver for sonic signals. Raven, Beast Boy, and I distracted the fiend with a faked….er…what you earth people so lightly call an 'alien autopsy' while Cyborg and Noir tracked his signals down to here."

"I figured out the vibrating tower part," Robin smiled and nodded.

Beast Boy double-taked. "Huh?! You did?!"

"Yup," Robin nodded. "When Control Freak was talking to me earlier, I sort of gathered it from his speech. He's wyrd enough to think up something as quirky as using his own enemy's home base against them. Utter foolishness if you ask me."

Beast Boy turned into a frog and gave Robin the raspberry before becoming an elf again to say, "Dang it, why'd you have to be so smart?! I thought robins were only good for pooping and exploding upon eating wedding reception rice!"

"Beast Boy, your good mood has returned!" Starfire smiled, hands held together. "Could it be your ailment has left you?"

"Ailment?" Robin asked.

"The vibration transmissions were screwing around with the hearing senses of every dog in town," Cyborg said. "Including everybody's favorite green mutt."

"Yes, and it was worse than eating frozen ice cream at two hundred miles per hour!" the emerald elf exclaimed. A pause. He scratched his chin, "Well….almost…."

"Wyrdo…," Raven said under her breath.

Beast Boy glared at her, then looked at me. "Noir must have smashed something up to stop the transmission, or else I'd be saying hail-marys and rolling into the grave by now."

I shrugged and smiled.

"You did great, Noir," Cyborg said, patting my shoulder. "Thanks for putting yourself on the line."

I blushed.

"Looks like you all worked together nicely," Robin said. "And I'm proud to see it."

"And I am happy to see you well and—OOH!" Starfire jumped and whipped out his yellow cape. "I b-believe this belongs to you, Robin."

Robin sighed. "Thanks Starfire…but….um…it's a tad bit too late for that, I think." He gestured towards the mutation of his clothes.

"Oh….well then…," Starfire blushed. "I'll just….um….keep it?"

Robin blinked behind his mask. "Yeah…sure…why not?"

Starfire blushed some more and whistled to herself, looking away.

"Well now….look who's the life of the party!" Cyborg knelt by Control Freak's side and reached into his pocket. "Oop! And what's this?!" He produced Kobayashi's transistor. "That's one damn durable device you got there. I think we'll just take it out of your hands before you do something really nasty to damage it." He handed it to Raven.

"But….I-I worked so hard for that…for everything," the trekkie pouted.

Raven pocketed the device and stared boringly down at him. "Ever thought of taking up dieting?"

Cyborg forced Control Freak to his knees and handcuffed him from behind. In the meantime, the villain growled up at everyone. "You stupid Titans!! I was gonna give you truth! I was gonna give you naked reality! I was gonna expose the truth behind aliens and UFOs and everything the government wants to hide from us!!"

"Looking for love in all the wrong places…," Raven mused with a slight smile.

"Besides…dude…," Beast Boy pointed. "You don't have to look far to find aliens nowadays. For crying out loud, you just had your clocks cleaned by one!!"

"I….I-I did?!" CF's jaw dropped. He slowly turned around and looked fearfully up at Starfire.

The Tamaranian growled cutely and poked a mean finger into his chest. "And unless you want your 'chronometers washed' again, I suggest you stay clear of Robin from now on!!"

Raven, Cyborg, and Beast Boy sweatdropped.

"Um…what about the rest of us?"

I sniffled out a silent laugh and sheathed Myrkblade.

"Allright…let's haul this piece of junk off to jail," Cyborg said, lifting a whining Control Freak up by the scruff of his collar. Five of us started walking off until Robin cleared his throat and forced us to turn around.

"Ahem….one tiny problem," our leader said.

"What is it, man?" Beast Boy asked.

Robin slowly---disgustingly pointed at his mutated outfit. "I'm….uh…kinda sorta wearing a dead carcass at the moment."

Control Freak had one last, insect-sized chuckle.

Starfire glanced back and forth and smiled with arms outstretched. "Why…no problem whatsoever, Robin!" Her hand charged up a glowing, green starbolt. "Allow me to singe the undesired parts of the altered costume off of you so that you may join us in our trek to the police department!"

"O-Okay," Robin readied himself.

Starfire unleashed the starbolt.

FLASH!!!!

She lowered her eyelids and clasped two hands together. "See?! What did I tell you?? Hehehe!" She opened her eyes and beheld Robin from long distance. "Your costume has been restored to its normal shade of pale peach with insignias resembling pectoral muscles and a belly button and—WHAAYEEE!!!" Starfire covered her mouth as her green eyes bulged. In a flash she spun around and looked the other way, blushing like mad.

There Robin limply stood….smoking….in nothing but his eyemask. Starfire's bolt did the job of eliminating the mutation on the costume. In fact, it eliminated the costume completely.

I bit my lip and looked at the others.

Raven was politely blocking her gaze with a strategically placed wrist.

Beast Boy, Cyborg, and Control Freak—however—had seen way too much.

"…..Ahem," Cyborg cleared his throat. "That was unexpected."

"Perhaps so…," Beast Boy drolled, then grinned. "But suddenly….I don't feel so bad about myself anymore. Ah ha ha ha ha!"

Robin's eyes widened under his mask. He immediately covered himself and ducked behind a rusted barrel. "Will someone….PLEASE…give me some clothes?!?!?"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" A blushing Starfire chanted. "I'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorry!!"

I smirked and shook my head.

I wasn't so sure she was sorry.

Beast Boy, Cyborg, and Control Freak were all laughing as one.

It was Raven who rolled her eyes, whipped off her cloak, and sauntered over to Robin's location with the blue article held out for him to grab and utilize; which he did.

"I swear…everybody in this place needs to grow up," she slurred.

Robin gave her a sarcastic look.

She blinked. "For heaven's sake, I wasn't making a pun."

Robin blushed. "Oh…," he squeaked, and donned the cloak. "ACHOO!!" he sneezed from the cold and moaned. "Let's get out of this prison…"

I walked ahead of everyone.

Awww….but we had just arrived!