..Chapter Twenty-Three..
..
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..
I thought I saw a man brought to life
He was warm
He came around
And he was dignified
He showed me what it was to cry
Well you couldn't be that man I adored
You don't seem to know
Or seem to care
What your heart is for
I don't know him anymore
There's nothin' where he used to lie
My conversation has run dry
That's what's going on
Nothing's right
I'm torn
I'm all out of faith
This is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed
Lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed
Into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
You're a little late
I'm already torn
(Exert from) Torn - Natalie Imbruglia
..
.
He could remember the first time after he graduated the Academy that he'd been caught off guard so completely that it had taken his breath away. It was as clear in his head as it had been the moment it happened. His chest had felt like it had been on fire with the pain that resulted. He'd been cocky, brash and ready to prove his prowess when The Yellow Flash, his-then new-sensei, Namikaze Minato, had put him on his ass and scared the shit out of him. Fear had turned to awe and then respect.
He'd vowed to himself then that it would be the first ...and the last.
"Kakashi?"
He'd been wrong.
He coughed, inhaling dirt through his nose and mouth almost unexpectedly. Even through the veil of his mask he was tasting the stuff.
"I'm alright," he muttered from above her as he pulled himself off of her and onto his hands and knees.
Around them a cloud of dust still gathered. Bits of raw material could be seen; it was a broken mess and all that remained of the wall that made up one side of Karou's room.
He could taste sawdust and smell blood.
"Are you alright?" he asked, his voice almost broken from where the wind had been knocked out of him.
She nodded as she moved to sit up, eyes narrowing. He could see in those green orbs that her head had begun to clear; she was already trying to figure out what was going on, just as he was.
"What happened?" she asked as he stood up and offered her his hand. She took it and he helped her stand quickly. "Did you...?"
He shook his head as he looked out with two narrowed eyes, into the cloud, and tried to figure out what happened. "Something triggered an explosion," he muttered. " We need to figure out the situation and fast. A noise that loud is bound to garner attention if it hasn't already."
"Agreed," she murmured.
A flash of silver caught his eye not too far from where he stood and he recognized it as his katana. He must have dropped it in the blast.
He closed the distance and reached for it, hand wrapping about the hilt.
"Kakashi!"
It all happened at once. He was pulling up on the hilt, she was yelling out a warning and running towards him, and he was turning his head in reaction to what his intuition was telling him. He saw a flash of amber and wanted to react with more than a block, but, he didn't have time for much else.
He'd always been faster, after all.
Kakashi felt the blanket of pain sear across his forearms through the guards. His back met with solid ground and he grunted as he slid.
Damn, that hurt.
He forced his body into a roll as he heard the clash of steel against steel and came to his feet. Both eyes, sharingan blazing, settled on Sakura meeting blades with Karou. It wouldn't last long. He had to warn her.
"Sakura-!"
He see the slight smile on the confident man's face as he brought his blade outward. The area around the weapon pulsed with invisible energy before it erupted and Sakura was tossed backward. She fared better than he did though and dug her feet into the ground as she braced herself for the impact.
He came up next to her and spoke low enough so that only she could hear, frustration evident in his tone, "Are you alright?"
"Yeah," she muttered. "It feels like it hit my whole body. Not just my arm." She rubbed her head, eyeing the enemy with scrutinizing eyes. "It's weird," she went on, speaking as if she were apprehensive to admit it. "But, it's like he sent my emotions through a whirlwind with that. It's almost like that oppressive air I feel around him all the time, but, directed."
He nodded. "That's part of what his family specialized in," he explained, tone low. "He doesn't just use the ability to manipulate people into doing what he wants in subversive situations. He can also use it as an offensive technique.
"The katana in his hand is a chakra weapon, one he wields with the upmost skill." His jaw tightened. "It's going take both of us to bring him down," he said as if just realizing it, his eyes back on the dangerous ex-ANBU member. "We need to separate him from his weapon. If we do that it should even the playing field."
She sighed. "All of this would have been easier if it had went according to plan."
Kakashi couldn't argue with that logic. If the man before them were dead right now they could be well on their way back to Konoha, job done. Now they were left with still completing the assassination minus the advantage.
"All of this obvious plotting isn't going to do you a bit of good," Kaoru suddenly spoke loud enough for them to hear. He twisted the blade in his hand as he did so, slicing the air with a sharp sound; as if such an action were meant to intimidate them. "Or," he said a hair softer for affect, smiling snidely, "didn't you notice?"
Sakura glanced at Kakashi, but, he didn't look back.
The silver-haired shinobi sighed after a short moment passed, smiling only slightly; it was done out of acceptance. "Hmm..." he murmured, "You've known since we got here, haven't you, Kaoru?"
"Perhaps not since then, but, for a while," he admitted. "It really is such a pity," he continued, frowning, eyes half shut for effect. "I had hoped the both of you would change your minds... Well," he smiled, "I would have been happy if just you had, Rookie..." he pointed to tip of his blade at him, arm stretched out. He looked at him down the length of his blade, as if aiming.
"We could have been great together..." he sighed out. "Now? Now I have to kill you."
In flash, there he was, bearing down on Kakashi. He barely saw the movement, it hardly registered even with the sharingan activated. He had just enough time to pull his katana up and deflect the oncoming blow. He felt it again, though; the chakra flooded into his own, mixing and working it's way into his system.
He leapt back, trying to create some distance as he felt Sakura dive in for an attack. She came from above, moving for the opening towards his throat. But, Kaoru turned and the air around his weapon once again pulsed as he met her blow head on. It erupted with much more strength this time. He watched as Sakura's eyes seemed to bulge on impact. Her body was sent sailing.
Shit.
He ran, pushing chakra into the soles of his feet. He stumbled as she hit his open arms and exhaled.
"Sorry," she muttered, "I didn't see that coming."
"Apologize later," he snapped as they both moved to avoid another attack, splitting up in two directions. It wasn't enough, though, the brushing energy hit him and he flinched.
"You think you're good enough now?" he heard. "You never were."
Kakashi's eyes narrowed as he found himself face to face with Kaoru once more, dealing blow for blow. Even as he spoke these words he was trying to formulate a way to get his weapon away from him. But, it was becoming increasingly hard to think. His heart felt heavy in his chest.
Even with Sakura backing him up, it seemed he was just too fast. To quick. Too quiet. Everytime they found and opening he beat them to it.
It was an endless cycle of a problem.
They needed to separate him from his weapon, but, to do that they needed to get close. By getting close they kept coming in contact with his offensively attacking chakra. And each time they thought, this was it, it wasn't. Each formation, each tactic, a failure.
Fuck.
"I remember the first moment I saw you, Kakashi..." he heard him say between blows. "Young, inexperienced in so many ways and yet worldly in so many others. I saw a maturity in your eyes, a willingness to absorb that so few shinobi have... even today."
He didn't respond and kept his gaze sharp.
He was smiling at him and it unnerved him, the lie in that smile; it had been the same lie that...
"Never did I realize what that admiration would turn into," he continued, sighing. "Secondly, I certainly didn't imagine you would return what affection I held for you, even when I didn't recognize it for what it was myself.
"Denial is a sharp knife, is it not, Rookie?"
"It's in the past, what does it matter?" he finally bit off, jaw tight. He didn't want to talk about it.
"Blossoms of The Befallen...!"
Pink blossoms fluttered everywhere around him and twisted around Kaoru. Kakashi leapt back, creating some distance for her to work the genjutsu.
It was a beautiful technique to watch first hand, but, terrible to be caught in; he knew. If you were unlucky enough to be caught in it, it rendered you completely immobile. Each petal created a feeling of paralysis in the area that the petal covered and no more. It was almost impossible to get out of once you were caught in it because—like any genjutsu—the key was in the illusion.
The paralysis wasn't literal; it was mental and no more.
Kakashi moved fast; this was it.
Chidori!
Electricity surged to life in his half closed fist as black and red zeroed in on his mark and he ran, heart hammering in his chest.
This is it.
Time ticked by as he drew closer and everything around him felt as though it were slower. Even as he knew nothing had slowed, the moment seemed sluggish and heavy with a thick intensity. He could almost hear his own heartbeat, his own breath in his lungs as he inhaled and exhaled. He could hear the ticking of time itself as his fist reached, open, towards the place where Kaoru's life-pumping organ rested within his breast.
It all ends here.
He felt his hand connect; he could feel the tearing of flesh around it; he could feel bone crumple and tissue burn under the ferocity of his jutsu.
When he stopped he was panting; his eyes were locked on electric amber as they stared lifelessly into his own. Perspiration coated his brow and when he continued to draw breath it wasn't because he needed to out of a physical need; no, it was more out of a mental need that he did so.
Finally.
Slowly, he shut his eyes.
"Kakashi!"
What?
His head snapped up, eyes open. But, there wasn't enough time. He couldn't stop the hand that came through the dissipating image of the man before him to place itself over his forehead. A ravenous chakra coursed through his veins, intrusive and immobilizing. Kakashi couldn't do anything as he felt his body fail him, as he felt himself fall to his knees.
"Useless," he heard the older male mutter; it wasn't directed at him.
Sweat beaded on his brow and he panted, eyes locked on Sakura as she matched blows and techniques with Kaoru. He had to move, he needed to; he needed to regain control of his body. Whatever his ex-taichou had done to him however, left him at a complete loss. It wasn't a genjutsu, he could see through that. He could access what chakra he had left; his body just wasn't obeying.
Her scream echoed into his very core as he watched her go down, crumpling in the dirt. She was awake, he could see; she wasn't getting up, though.
Move! he told his body, his eyes tightening shut. His jaw mimicked the action, painfully so. He tried to force chakra into the right paths, he tried to will his muscles to obey; horrifyingly, nothing would do as he wanted it to.
Kami, was this it? Was he going to die here?
Sakura...
He swallowed.
"Is it?"
His eyes snapped open and he found himself staring into electric amber hues. Mismatched depths of crimson and charcoal black narrowed on Kaoru as he crouched before him, blade stuck into the ground. Kakashi glanced over at where Sakura lay. She was trying to get up, but, her body wasn't allowing it; she barely had her chest off the ground and was sitting.
"Oh, don't worry about her. She's not going anywhere for a while; neither are you."
"What do you what?" he managed to mutter.
Kaoru smiled; when he did so, his eyes appeared to communicate that which he didn't have to: fear. It was a fear of this man he'd done fairly well to hide even now. "I answered your question with a question of my own. I think it's only polite that you respond." The ex-ANBU waited a while, staring on at him. When Kakashi didn't reply he sighed and explained, as if dealing with an errant child. "You asked what the point was of talking about what's in the past. I repeat, is it?"
Again, Kakashi didn't reply.
"Hm," he gave a thoughtful short laugh without opening his mouth. "Denial is as a sharp knife, Rookie. We're not all that unalike. Why should you deny that now?"
"I seriously doubt that," he bit off.
He chuckled. "Naive boy, do you really still think what we did wasn't consensual?" When the silver-haired younger didn't reply he continued in a lower, darker tone, "I didn't give you anything you weren't asking for already... and I left you there because you couldn't bear to make the choice that needed to be made, love."
Kakashi felt his chest tighten as these words watched over him, as he felt a warm hand on his cheek, caressing and coarse in nature. No, you're wrong.
"You made a vow to Konoha, but you loved me. You couldn't bear to be without both. So, rather than making the right choice, the obvious one, I made it for you. It's what we both wanted," he whispered, thumb rubbing over his chin softly.
"No," Kakashi strained out. That wasn't how it happened... Was it...? He could feel his heart starting to race in his chest as Kaoru's words washed over him, working their way into his system. Images, flashes of things in his mind were slowly becoming distorted. Everything was coming back from that place he'd long left behind all over again.
"You deny what you wanted just like you try to deny that what I did for you is no different than what you have with Sakura.
"You keep telling yourself over and over, 'I won't hurt her like he hurt me,' and, 'I won't take advantage of her like he did me,' and my favorite, 'I'll save her from the monster that left me as I am, that I am sure to become if I admit it's ok to have her'." He shook his head.
"You're no different than I was and you never will be. The sooner to come to realize that, Rookie, the better off you'll be."
"I'm not like you," he muttered in a strained voice.
He smiled that cruel, subtle, sinful smile that gave off the impression of some final conclusion or the last nail in the coffin, to coin a phrase and said, "Who are you trying to convince, Rookie? Me... or you?"
No... he heard the voice in his head say, no. I'm not that person... But, the more he repeated the mantra the less it effective it felt. At that moment all he could see were the flashes of images of past events: him pushing Sakura up against a tree, him kissing Sakura, Sakura crying, Sakura speaking of her admiration for him and then there were those of himself; in each one he could see Kaoru, himself and then in a comparison set of images there were those moments with Sakura and himself much older. The visualizations rolled together so furiously and so quickly until all he could see was a blurred picture of himself becoming the man before him in what he saw as a literal representation.
No, he heard himself breath mentally; however, he could no longer deny it. The command was weak, at best. He could feel himself go numb. He could feel all the fight he'd been trying to force, to will, go as it left him. His form slackened like a tossed and forgotten rag doll and there he remained. The drive was gone from his eyes.
Sakura's eyes widened a fraction. "Kakashi...?" she called, her voice wary.
No answer.
"Kakashi!" she cried out, desperation evident; it wasn't for herself, but, for him.
"I'm afraid he can't hear you, not really," Kaoru's voice addressed her and she looked up, realizing he was only a few feet away from her now.
Her lips twisted into a determined scowl. "You bastard."
"I've been called worse, I assure you, my dear."
"What have you done to him?" she demanded.
He leaned on his sword hilt, tip stuck in the dirt. He posture was lazy and self-assured; it was as if he had already won. "I only told him what he needed to know," he replied coolly, smiling satisfyingly. "That he's really no different than me, especially in regards to you. And," he almost whispered, "that he needs to face the reality that everything I did to him in Konoha was what he wanted."
Her jaw tightened and her hands pulled into fists beneath her, digging up dirt inadvertently. Kakashi had been right, Kaoru was a master manipulator. He took people's emotions, their voices and thoughts and tore them apart. If there was anything in there of the man he had once loved... she couldn't see it.
"How could you do this to him?" she breathed angrily. "To the man you claimed to... love? What are you trying to accomplish by hurting him again?" Did he actually believe the things he told Kakashi?
The smile remained, unwavering. He seemed almost unaffected by what she said to him. It didn't appear to faze him at all. "Why? Does it bother you that what I had with him came before you; or, that what we had was stronger?"
His response made almost no sense and had nothing to do with her question, not really.
"Does it make you twist with jealousy just thinking how many times I had him…Sakura?" he asked next, unrelenting.
She could feel that vile chakra coming off of him waves, pressing into her and pushing her down.
"Not even before," he continued, darkly, "But just in the past few weeks." That smile seemed to be more so, his eyes slicing to the core. "Just think, while you were out working for me he and I..." he chuckled, eyes closing briefly with mirth.
"You're an idiot," she muttered, lips curling much to her own surprise.
"Oh…?" he seemed genuinely curious. His brow rose. "Enlighten me."
It was her turn to laugh softly. "Do you actually think I care about that?"
He didn't reply, but, he did watch her, eyes set.
Her eyes darted up to his, meeting his gaze with every ounce of strength she possessed; they appeared aflame with intensity. "I love Kakashi. I don't question how I feel about him and I don't expect anything of him. My love is unconditional and therefore without requirement. As a shinobi of Konoha, apprentice of one of the Great Sanin and a member of the elite ANBU, I am under no illusion that sacrifices must be made; even if that means sacrificing one's own body.
"You may have had his body for a few weeks, Kaoru, but you don't own his heart... his soul, his loyalty." She smiled steadfastly. "And that's what pisses you of the most. You can't force the kind of bond Kakashi has with Konoha... with me. You can't break it either, no matter how much you try to break him."
The backhand across her face brought stars to her eyes, but she didn't try to dodge it. She didn't have much left for that. Even so, she wouldn't go down crying. She wasn't that girl anymore. Like hell she would ever give her enemy that satisfaction, especially a bastard who took delight and ruining people she cared about.
"Ka..ka...shi...!" she strained out as she felt a hand around her neck, tightening and pulling her off the ground. She gripped his wrist, trying to keep herself from chocking. She tasted blood and tried to cough.
"You know, I was going to keep you around. That talent you have for genjutsu just seemed too good to pass up or waste... but, I think I've changed my mind." She heard him laugh, this time more clearly, sanity gone from his voice altogether. "I think it would be much more fitting to simply take you and kill you. Granted, women aren't my preference, but, it might just make my goals in regard to your partner much easier."
She twisted in his grip as he turned and headed towards Kakashi. Her heart hammered in her chest and her blood ran cold. Oh god, not again, she couldn't stop herself from thinking. There was no preparation this time. She had no control of the situation.
She wouldn't allow her fear to show, not now. "He's stronger than you think," she managed as she tried to kick his grip off of her. Her booted feet beat into his chest ineffectively.
"We'll see about that, won't we?" he murmured and glanced down at Kakashi as he stopped.
"Kakashi!" she cried out, her own voice burning her throat. "Wake up!" Please wake up! she cried out in her mind as he dropped her to the ground. She tried to scramble away but he was already on top of her.
Desperate, she pushed a flood of blue green chakra to her fist and tried to hit him. He caught her wrist and pushed it down, frustrating her.
"None of that," he muttered.
"Kakashi!" she screamed this time, turning her heard toward him, her eyes pleading for him to snap out of it. "He's wrong! You don't have to be his victim anymore! He can't hurt you anymore, Kakashi! Do you hear me!
"Remember what I told you! You're a good man, Kakashi...! And I never loved you because I was misguided... or confused..!" she said, straining against all the emotions flooding her mind and filling her beating chest. "I loved you because..." she closed her eyes a moment, "Because you gave me the ability to become the woman I wanted to be."
Her jaw tightened and her eyes opened with new vigor when she saw he wasn't reacting to her words at all. "That man...! He isn't the one I see before me now!
"Damnit, wake up, Kakashi!"
I need you...
ooo
I love you.
You wanted it.
You're just like me.
It was consensual.
Quit denying it.
Monster.
Kakashi heard them all over and over again, lulled into some kind of void. The outside world was a vague blur, slow and sluggish before him. He could sense something was going on, but, he didn't have the drive to react to it. Everything was dull, devoid and fractured. Images were half there and half not. He felt lethargic.
Rin was wrong.
Sakura was wrong.
He'd been trying to fight against it for years and for what? He should have never become her sponsor. The whole situation would have been better dealt with if he'd just never joined ANBU again, if he'd never given into Sakura and if he'd just continued his life... alone.
Monster. You wanted it.
Yes, I know.
I love you...
What..? No, you don't. You only think you do. I used you, just like he used me. Don't ask for it... not like I did.
I never love you because I was misguided or confused!
You did.. you were.
I love you...
Stop saying that, he said to the voice.
Monster.
Yes, I know...
Wake up!
And do what? he mused to himself. Hurt you? he continued. I took advantage of you, Sakura.
He'd wanted to protect her, to help her. Hadn't he? No, that wasn't it. He'd wanted her for his own selfish needs. He'd wanted to envelope himself in her scent... her warmth… he'd wanted to hold onto her…
Monster!
She'd deluded herself into thinking she wanted him and he'd just let her; it was just as he'd let Kaoru take advantage of himself. He'd wanted it. It sickened him. He sickened himself. The pain… the ache… the months of people wanting to help him... Rin. He hadn't deserved it. He'd know that then; it had been his fault. It had always been his fault...
My fault.
I love you...
Shut up! he shouted back.
She didn't—she wouldn't—understand... She couldn't see that night so clearly in her mind of what he would do to her. He would do it to her. He would rip into her and tear her world to pieces.
You will.
I know!
He's wrong!
What...?
You don't have to be his victim anymore!
Monster!
What? What was she… He blinked slowly, trying to escape the haze so he could hear.
It was consensual.
He's wrong!
Sakura..?
You're a good man! I never loved you because I was misguided or confused!
But...
I loved you because...
Because..? he found himself asking.
..You wanted it!
Shut up! he shouted to the other voice. He needed to hear this. He didn't know why, but he did.
Because you gave me the ability to become the woman I wanted to be!
Silence.
Like a toy powering down or like a light being turned off, the voices, the shouting, the doubt, the words, they were all gone. Nothing remained but him and the haze. Everything was dark and devoid.
She loved him not because she admired him or because she looked up to him. She loved him because of what he had helped her accomplish. What had he helped her accomplish? Really?
He could suddenly see all of their moments together, again. This time, though, they were different. The pain, the ache wasn't what prevailed as it had been before with Kaoru. He watched her determination as she told him why she wanted to join ANBU; he watched her fire as she overcame him with the katana the first time; he watched her struggle on mission after mission and hide her tears; he watched as she cried in his arms and as she sought strength from his words after her first seduction mission; he watched her hold her chin high and hide all of her pain... finally, he watched her overcome it... beat it and become a better shinobi because of it. He watched her use that strength in front of Kaoru; he watched as she didn't allow herself to back down even when her fear was evident to no one but himself.
Sakura...
He felt his heart shifting and his mind clearing.
She was right, he didn't have to be a victim anymore.
He wouldn't be.
ooo
One moment Sakura was shoving on Kaoru, screaming for Kakashi to wake up and the next she was weightless. The hands were gone, the beating fists were gone. Her lip was busted, she was sure she'd have one bruised eye hours from now and she ached from chakra depletion, but, overall, she was no worse for wear. At least not now that it had stopped.
She exhaled and opened her eyes.
"Are you alright?" he asked.
She smiled and realized he was carrying her in his arms. "It's been a while," she mused.
One silver brow raised and he set her down up against a stack of cut wood in the work yard a good many yards from where they'd been fighting.
"Since you saved me."
"I dont mind," he replied. "Don't move." He moved to back away, but, not before she snapped her hand over his arm.
Her eyes were serious. Intense. "Be careful."
He nodded. "I will be... Rest." He watched as she exhaled, released him and relaxed before he stood up and returned to face Kaoru.
He hid the anger that had boiled from seeing him on top of her, hurting her, from Sakura. He'd hidden the memories that entire scene dredged up, but, he wouldn't hide it from the man who was slowly picking himself off the ground from where Kakashi had driven him off.
"You broke out of my hold," Kaoru said as he dusted himself off. "Impressive—."
"You can't hurt me anymore," Kakashi interrupted. "And I won't allow you to hurt anyone else anymore either."
Kaoru smiled. "Really?" he said, not looking very convinced where he stood. "You couldn't do it before when you had her help," he said as he motioned faintly to Sakura. "And now she can't help you. What makes you think you can kill me now when you couldn't before?"
"I'm not hindered," he responded, not missing a beat. "I'm not your victim any longer," he continued, strength evident in his voice.
"What you did to me years ago was unspeakable, Taichou. I loved you, I cared about you, and when I tried to help you turned on me. You butchered my strength and ripped my power away from me. You left me bleeding and almost paralyzed for life."
Kaoru frowned. "I turned on you?" he repeated and then scowled. "I betrayed you? You left me!" he snapped. "You chose the village over what we shared!"
"No," Kakashi replied, solemn and calm. "I chose to keep the vow I made to my village, my Hokage, first."
"And I meant nothing?" Kaoru spat, laughing. "You would have expected me to just, what, file in line to my death sentence and give up?"
Kakashi frowned, eyes narrowed. "No one ever said our way of life was fair. If Konoha knew of a way to help you, they would have..."
Kaoru laughed again, both bitterness and lack of sanity present. "Yeah, well, excuse me if I don't share your sentiment."
Kakashi knew there was really no talking to him, not like this. The man he had once been was no longer there and all that was left was the result of the bloodline technique overtaking him, destroying him more than he ever could others through its benefits.
He wished as much now as he had then that there was a way to help him, to save him, from his own mistakes and the results thereof; there wasn't. There was no curing it outside of death.
"I loved you once, Taichou. Out of respect of the man I once admired I'll try to make your death a painless one."
"Spare me your pity, Rookie," he snapped before working his hands into a series of hand signs.
I won't let you. He too, pushed his hands into a series of signs. He estimated he had about half of his reserve left; that meant every move needed to be well calculated.
"Venomous Chakra Jutsu: Dragon Serpents!"
"Water Release: Water Encampment Wall!" Kakashi shouted in return as his hands finished moving into the proper signs. He watched as three translucent dragon-like serpents came swiftly through the air at him just before the wall of water shot up around him, blocking the attack.
A satisfied smirk swept Kaoru's features as he watched his jutsu cut right through the dense shield, causing sprays of water to erupt. As the fluxing waves dissipated he waited, prepared, for it to clear. He grinned widely at the image of the man before him, his body brutally held by his chakra serpents. He looked as a helpless rag doll, bleeding and battered.
Think again.
A movement from the right, swift and powerful jerked his eyes away from the scene; it was next he turned his whole body. His eyes widened a fraction and his jaw set as he leapt back. At the same time he drew his blade and landed, digging the front balls of his feet into the dirt. A shock of sparks erupted before him and the clash of steel reverberated against two sets of ears.
Kaoru's chuckle was dark, deep, and maniacal as the shadow clone caught in his jutsu puffed out of existence.
Kakashi's eyes were set; his resolve showed clearly there if nowhere else.
"Haven't you already learned that close combat with me is unwise, Rookie?"
"Haven't you already learned that I always have an ace up my sleeve?"
Kaoru didn't seem bothered by this statement; instead, he pulled back, slashing at him. His chakra—that repulsive, pounding, venomous chakra—swept through, aiming for the body before him. He smirked as he pressed against Kakashi blade; then, he frowned.
The chakra siphoned, sucked, into the steel blade that Kakashi wielded.
Even as Kakashi pressed further against his blade he spoke, "I can tell your chakra's low after having to fight both Sakura and I. After all, you weren't allowed to complete your chakra compression technique once we attacked you."
Kaoru's eyes narrowed and his jaw tightened as his weakness was pointed out to him.
"But, then again, I pay attention even when people think I'm not." His grip tightened on the hilt, pressing into him further with shaking hands. "Still, I never thought I'd have to use this on you when I packed the summoning scroll.
"Meet my chakra sucking blade. With it, your attacks beyond your katana are rendered useless, Taichou. What's more, you're poisonous aura is weakened considerably. This blade makes us even."
"Tch…" he muttered, jaw set; his lips still curled into a slight smirk, as if appraising despite the change in strengths. "You always were good in a situation where all odds were against you, Rookie. Given the amount of chakra we both have left… my response is obvious…
"But then, you already knew that." He chuckled and pulled back, swiping with the sharp edge of his blade.
Kakashi didn't respond. Instead, he blocked and counter attacked. Using this blade had been his only real viable option. He didn't have any long range attacked aside from his Mangekyo; besides using an enormous amount of chakra he didn't have at the moment, it wasn't entirely accurate in its current state.
Using this blade not only kept him from being the victim of Kaoru's attacking chakra, but, it also put him on the defense; should Kakashi hit him or touch him with the blade at all, it would pull chakra from his body. In the right hands, it's was an amazing tool, especially for ANBU who were use to hunting missing nin. Although, he by no means imagined this fight would get any easier. Kaoru was still a master swordsman and years ahead of Kakashi despite having been his teacher in that respect also. Whatever the fight resulted in, it would be a matter of skill and stamina and nothing else.
Sweat rolled off his brow as he was forced back by the both brutal and precise hits from his opponent. He blocked each time, watching the movement of his body and the direction of his eyes. The moment he felt the pain on his shoulder he turned, twisting away as best he could from the remaining thrust of his attack.
It left him wide open and Kakashi went for it, wanting to end it even as it barely just started. But, he was right there, swift and unwavering. The flat of Kaoru's blade struck against his own and Kakashi pulled back, attacking again.
It felt like each time Kakashi tried to strike he blocked, even though he knew he was holding his own. They were wearing each other down, slowly. He could see the wane in Kaoru's eyes just as easily as he was sure it was showing in his own good eye. However, the longer it drug on, the further he pressed on and waited for the opening he needed, the more the man before him pushed him back.
He'd always been better at pacing himself when fighting with the deadly weapon, even Kakashi would admit this.
He felt the string across his chest, gasped and pulled back. He pressed his free hand there, blocking his follow up strike.
"Give me long enough and I'll give you half a dozen new scars, Rookie," the dark haired male remarked, smirking.
Kakashi's eyes narrowed, but, he didn't respond. He wouldn't be distracted by snide remarks. He reminded himself, again, that the man before him thrived on weakness of any kind.
He drew his blade back and cut downward. As he did so, Kaoru leapt back. Kakashi followed him, swiping and slashing with his blade. He dodged and returned fire.
They were getting desperate.
And then Kakashi felt it; he felt it almost before it happened. Kaoru's image became an after image. His speed doubled and Kakashi gasped, drawing breath. Pain erupted on his side, electrifying muscle fiber and reverberating against bone.
He felt the blade withdraw and stifled a cry as he doubled over and dropped to his knees. His hands pressed into the ground, one half secured around the hilt of his blade.
"Just remember, Rookie," he heard. "Experience always trumps youth…" And then that dark laughter became present once more.
He pressed his hand into his side in some vain attempt to stop the bleeding.
"Pitiful, boy. Did you actually think you could win; against me?"
Kakashi watched as the tip of his sword drug along the ground in front of him while his mocking voice directed downward.
He had to think of something, anything, to get out of this. But, the longer he thought, listening to Kaoru's voice, the more apparent it became that there was nothing he could do. He didn't have enough chakra to formulate any kind of front.
He closed his eyes briefly before glancing up to look at Sakura. His mismatched depths locked on her form and his lips drew a grim line. His jaw tightened and his knuckles turned white from the fist he was forming.
"I never wanted to kill you, Kakashi…" he heard as he watched the tip of Kaoru's sword draw upward.
Slowly, he looked up, meeting his gaze as if waiting for the inevitable.
"Sweet dreams," he whispered, moving into a strike.
"What the…?"
Kakashi blinked
It took a moment for him to register the torrent of petals, bold and pink, swathing Kaoru's form. They danced, standstill, drifting around like a holy spiral.
Sakura?
He turned, looking for her resting body, only to find that clone was puffing out of sight.
He reacted instantly once he realized what she'd done and with the last of his strength he pulled his katana up and thrust as he locked on Kaoru's eyes; the transition of emotions, from surprise to acceptance of defeat, crossed over his features and in his eyes as he did so. He held onto that, waiting, waiting for it to be another trick; he waited for the real Kaoru to come out from hiding, to strike him down and tell him it had all been another elaborate guise to entrap him once more. He could feel his heart hammering in his ears as time drifted on and he waited, breath held and blood racing.
But, he wasn't. He was just standing there, staring at him as if he couldn't quite believe what had just happened…
Kakashi watched even as he withdrew his blade and the petals fell away. He barely registered Sakura falling to her knees some distance away.
He continued to stare, waiting, holding his electric amber gaze. Then he was falling, his knees going weak. In slow motion, it seemed, his body started to drift down and Kakashi couldn't seem to stop himself from catching him as they both dropped to the ground.
Kakashi held him as he coughed blood and his body convulsed across his knees. Silence pervaded and he found himself unable to speak. All he could do was stared down, a single orb locked on his face. He found an ache surfacing and constricting that he didn't entirely expect the strength of; he felt his heart tightening, ripping...
Again, he was losing someone.
Again, the life he chose took someone from him brutally and without remorse.
Again… he was watching as someone he cared for bled to death in his arms.
"No tears for the wicked, Rookie," he heard.
His eyes flashed open and he stared. He hadn't even realized he'd closed his eyes. They touched momentarily on the damp speck on Kaoru's face.
Kaoru smiled and Kakashi narrowed his eyes as he felt a hand cup his cheek.
"I'm sorry…" Kaoru whispered.
He said nothing, but, he stared as that pervading darkness left his eyes and left behind a aura he dared not imagine ever remained.
"Thank you…" he said next. "I…"
"Shh," Kakashi finally said, tears fighting to return as his throat constricted. "I forgive you…." He swallowed. "Sleep…" he whispered.
Kaoru seemed to accept that and closed his eyes. That smile never left even as the last breath escaped his body. Kakashi watched him moments after the rise and fall of his chest stopped and he didn't move even after the rain started, soaking him to the core.
"Kakashi…" he heard, Sakura's voice pulling him back. "We have to go…"
He nodded. "Help me… please." She seemed to realize he was referring to the body. He could feel the hesitation, but, she seemed to understand his need and nodded.
"I'll try…"
And that was enough.
ooooooooooooooooooo
AN: Thank you for everyone who read and reviewed all through this fic! It really makes me feel good to know how many people have enjoyed reading this story so far. I realize that my version of Kakashi in this telling can throw people off, especially hard core K/S fans like myself.
We have one more chapter, folks! Time to wrap everything up!
Special thanks goes to Nokito-chan and Zeptha for their dedicated pseudo-beta reading of this chapter before its release.
-Blade