Barney and Ted were still reeling when Tracy walked in, plate of scrambled eggs in hand.
"What are you guys up to?" she asked, with the naivete of a child.
It was in that moment that the two were faced with a particularly difficult dilemma- should they be honest with her and admit what was going on just feet above ground, or should they keep it a carefully veiled secret? Would revealing that info only send everyone into a further panic? The familiar telekinetic-like abilities they possessed as best friends kicked into full gear just then as they exchanged glances.
Dude, should we tell her? Ted asked.
No, of course not! Barney responded, eyebrow raised. No one should know about this, Ted. It's gotta be our dirty little secret.
Ted focused on his friend, his brown eyes stern and gaze unwavering. Yeah, but I don't know, I really feel like I should be honest with her on this one, especially since, you know, it could potentially END HER LIFE!
Chill! Barney snapped, eyes widening. If she doesn't go up there, she'll be okay! Problem solved!
"Guys?" Tracy's voice suddenly broke the chain of corresponding thoughts they had going. "Um...helloo, earth to Ted and Barney! Yoo-hoo!" She clapped her hands to grab their attention, and it became apparent that they had been staring at each other mindlessly for the last two minutes or so.
They pulled apart and filled separate spaces away from each other on the cushions, Barney pressing his fingers together awkwardly for a second as he looked up at Tracy, trying to develop an explanation that did not make it sound like he and Ted had randomly fallen in love with each other.
"Hi, Tracy!" he greeted her eagerly, widely grinning. "We were just talking about…"
"Airplanes," Ted blurted out. "Yeah. Airplanes. The Wright brothers, am I right? Haha! Ha!" he laughed forcedly, then elbowed Barney.
Tracy shot them perplexed looks. "Right. Um...are you guys okay?"
Ted nodded. "Oh yeah, totally!"
"Absofrutely!" Barney added. "Hehe, two heads are better than one, am I right?" He then realized what he had said. "Not...two-headed zombies though!"
Tracy had already caught their drift. "You guys know something I don't, don't you?"
Before they could answer, Robin entered the room. She stopped at the doorway and stood still, deeply inhaling the air. "Oh God that smells delicious," she breathed out.
"Pigeon eggs, go help yourself," Tracy offered. As the starving Robin eagerly headed into the kitchen, Tracy sat down next to Barney and took his hand gently in hers, the way a mother would commonly do if they were asking their child if he or she broke their favorite vase.
She stared deep into his worried, ocean blue eyes.
"Barney," she said quietly. "I don't want Robin to get freaked out, but do you know something I don't?"
Barney opened his mouth to speak, but just then, a bloodcurdling shriek pierced the stillness of the room.
Lily.
The others were at her room in an instant.
"Lily!" Ted cried, frantically jostling the doorknob. "Stand back! I'm coming!" Using every ounce of strength in his body, he rammed himself into the door, breaking it down and falling to the floor, but when he picked himself up, he was surprised at what he saw.
Lily angrily was hacking and slashing at the body of one of the creatures with her hatchet, blood droplets splattering everywhere. When she was certain it was finished off, she brushed the hair out of her eyes.
"Oh hey guys, I uh, didn't see you there!" She slung the weapon over her shoulder as the others stared in shock.
Marshall was hiding behind the chair in the corner of the room..
A few seconds later, Robin entered. "Hey, what did I miss?" she asked nonchalantly, finishing off the last scrap of egg on her plate.
"Intervention. Now," Ted declared.
It took a little while to gather everyone up, but once they were all in the same place, the intervention began, complete with the familiar banner, now repainted in a combination of fresh paint and some blood.
"Okay, so the cat's gotta come out of the bag," Ted began. "I'm just gonna go ahead and say it." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "The zombies have mutated."
"What do mean 'mutated?'" Tracy asked.
"I mean they're no longer just regular zombie," Ted answered. "No, they're worse. These, my friends, are hellspawns, crafted by the Devil himself." He looked off dramatically and took a swig of room-temperature scotch. "Didn't anyone see the thing that Lily killed back there? That's what we're up against now."
"Ted, um, yeah, I really hope you're wrong on this one," Robin spoke up, in her 'if-you're-serious-I-will-strangle-you-with-my-bare-hands" tone of voice. "Keep in mind that there is a certain 8-months pregnant lady in this group who is very easily prone to sudden bouts of anger ever since said pregnancy, and...who may not take too kindly to knowing that her life is even more at stake now." Robin placed a hand on her very visibly pregnant belly to stress what she had just said.
"Hey, it's not like I even knew this until before today!" Ted defended. "It's just that, this morning, Barney and I saw Sandy Rivers very possibly get murdered on live television by one of the creatures, and I thought I should tell you all! No big deal!"
Naturally, Ted's explanation only resulted in shocked looks and gasps from everyone else. Marshall gulped, before choking out the words "you s-saw Sandy Rivers get murdered on TV, Ted?"
Barney spoke up. "Well, we don't know if...he died. But...I think maybe we should assume he died? You know, just to be safe?"
"Look, I don't want you guys to panic, okay?" Ted cut in. "We've been good so far, right? If we stay in a group and we stay down here, then we'll be just fine, see, problem solved!"
"Problem not solved!" Lily interjected. "Ted, if these monsters have any way of getting down here, like that one did, then I can guarantee you they will! That wasn't a fluke, and as much as I hate saying this, I really don't think that 'here' is safe anymore."
There were a few seconds of pure silence in the room as the gang tried to figure out what to do. Lily did have a point- if that zombie had somehow broken in, there would no doubt be more coming. But where else could they go?
"Guys, whoa, slow your roll there!" Barney finally said. "We don't need to go anywhere, I mean, have you forgotten that this place is basically a Stinson emergency bomb shelter? If there's one guaranteed safe spot in the world, clearly it's here."
Ted stared at him. "Except for the zombie that broke in."
Barney scoffed. "Psh! That was a coincidence!"
"Was not a coincidence," Ted corrected, shaking his head.
"Was, Ted."
"Was not."
"Was."
Robin angrily interjected by yelling "For the love of God, whether or not it was coincidence doesn't matter, the point is, here is not as safe as we thought it was, Barney!"
Being that her voice was quavering, the obvious pregnancy emotions beginning to set in for her, Barney knew that he must at least attempt to comfort her.
"Hey now," he said softly, placing a gentle hand on her back. "Don't be upset, we'll make it through this, I promise you."
Robin, who was now crying a little, removed her face from her hands. "Will we?"
Barney licked his lips. "Well...I mean, I at least think so."
She let out a sigh and rested her face back in her hands again, massaging her temples.
"No, don't be upset, we're gonna totally make it through this!" Barney's desperate attempt at persuasion didn't sound nearly as convincing as he wished it did. "Honestly, we'll live. And if not, then we'll at least make the most awesome zombies ever, right, guys?"
Smiling overenthusiastically, he turned to the others, all of whom looked equally displeased.
"Barney, you're not helping," Tracy told him flatly
"Oh, like you could do better," he retorted.
"Look, what he's trying to say in his own...weird way is that, even if the zombies do come, we'll be able to fight them off," Tracy told Robin. "Which is entirely believable."
Just then, a loud thumping sound came from above, as if someone- or something- were trying desperately to break in. The noise sent a prickle of fear through everyone in the room, and Lily readied her hatchet, expecting the worst.
To their surprise, however, it was not a zombie. It was James, who fell from the door above with a loud crack, then followed by Cindy, who landed directly on top of him. They stood up, brushing themselves off.
"It's a battleground out there," Cindy breathed out exhaustedly.
Cindy and James had, earlier in the day, journeyed above ground to determine the current conditions, only to discover that very little areas were safe. Knowing well that, inevitably, the creatures would invade their very own shelter, they sought out other options elsewhere, but were not long after attacked by a horde of the zombies, all of whom seemed a great deal larger, stronger, and more grotesque looking than the rest. The scuffle, which occurred directly above the shelter, fortunately ended quickly, and the pair made a lucky escape by tumbling through the door.
The two had informed the others of just how dangerous things were getting, telling them that the shelter simply was not safe anymore against the new, stronger breed of zombies that seemed to be infiltrating the city. In conclusion, they would have no choice but to evacuate, a decision that seemed pointless when considering that there didn't seem to be many relatively safe areas anywhere. But they wanted to survive. Of course that was the main priority, just as it always had been. And come morning, they would have to say goodbye to the place they had so long called home.
That night proved sleepless for nearly everyone, as could be expected. Barney and Robin, Marshall and Lily, and Ted and Tracy all slept in close proximity to each other should anything dangerous happen during the night, but each little sound, each scratch, drip, tick, or thud was enough to cause them to bristle.
By sunrise, no one had gotten any more than five hours of sleep.
The gang all stood outside of Barney's shelter, bathed in the orange, hazy early morning light of the recently risen sun. He locked the door of the place.
"Farewell, my sweet haven," he said before starting to choke up. "You will be missed!" He gently tucked the key into his jacket pocket as he and the others set off, not daring to look back in fear of what was going to happen to his beloved shelter.
Dagger followed loyally behind his master, heeling at his legs as he walked.
The blood orange sun peaked over the horizon, slathering the city in an eerily beautiful shade as the group headed further into the underbelly of it all. Where fate would take them, no one knew, but one thing was for certain: It wasn't going to be pleasant for anyone.